Hi im new and very nervous rider Help.

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dollybird1234

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Hello Everyone,

Well i decided to post here for some much much needed advice really :confused:.

I have been riding on and off all my life and as a child did not fear at all of ponies or horses in fact you would always find me knee deep in mud begging my mum to let me bring my duvet and stay with my pony in the field lol.( she didnt actually let me)

Then when i was about 12, my mum and dad brought me a lovely welsh pony. This pony was not particular bad, she bit me a couple of time, bucked me off but apart from that she was incredibly hard work, still young and green, i was inexperience, all together not a great mix.

Then i went back to riding after my confidence had been shot to pieces and just as i thought my confidence was returning, the horse i was on bolted with me and i went flying off after clinging on for a few mins and fell in to a jump fracturing my arm. This was the end of my riding around 14.

Im now 21 and have returned to riding (had two lessons), in between then i did try to go back but to be completly honest my nerves took over and i didnt go back. My problem is im still a nervous wreck when i ride and have now develped this fear that im hurting the horse by pulling the reins to tight or something stupid.

My mum is a very confident rider and we between us have just brought a shetland for my daughter. I feel fine grooming him ect but still feel nervous as i dont no him yet( only had for 3 days) and i keep thinking if i touch him he might kick me or he might bolt or just something you no?

Sorry this is so long, I love horses soooooo much and i sooo desperate to be a confident rider im so jealous of everyone else i see riding and i kick myself, "why cant i be like them" Please any advice would be great......

P xx
 
Ok, so about a year ago i had a similar(ish) problem. I was nearly kicked in the face by a horse, literally missed me by about 1cm and got my hair :/ but i wouldnt go behind any horse for months. I could even put on the bloody rugs!! i was happy at the head and neck that was it. LUCKILY it didnt affect my riding. But how did i get over it? I bought a horse that i absolutley trusted would NOT kick me. I was at a new yard where i didnt know anyone so i had to do EVERTHING myself. I didnt have a choice! And now im fine.

Im not suggesting you go out and buy a horse lol, but what i mean is you need to desensitise yourself. You need to go for a plod on a horse that wouldnt bat an eyelid walking down the motorway. Dont do anythign you dont feel comfortable doing!! You need to grrom a horse that you KNOW wont hurt you in anyway. Its not a quick fix but it does work. Maybe just go up a yard and spend a day hanging out, being witht he horses but not too close. You need to want to be near them and have the confidence to think yes i do. I also find that if youre feeling nervous, take a deep breath and exhale really loud. It calms you down and makes you forget about what youre doing. make it last long. The horse will sometimes copy you too if hes feeling comfortable! Though my mare has onyl done that a few times lol!!!

Whatever you do though, dont push yourself or ride a horse that youre not completely sure you can trust!!

Good luck :)
 
Thanks thats was really useful to no, makes me feel better than im not the only one.
No my mum doesnt own a horse at the moment. We are on the hampshire/berkshire border hun.
With our shetland he is on a livery yard which i hope will build my confidence xx
 
Hi, it sounds like my cousin is very similar to you, she loves horses and riding, but has the no nerves, it's like she is a cat on a tin roof, so jumpy around horses it makes the ponies she bought just as bad as she is. She tried to get back into riding and got her daughter a couple of ponies. Both ended up being sold and now the daughter has lost confidence... It's such a shame.

I think to be able get over these things on your own you have to be really strong... I,m a big fan of EFT and some nlp techniques, have you heard of the confident rider series, they might help or some kind of confidence course.

Horses like all animals can be potentially dangerous, what you need is the skills to accept that and do it anyway.
 
dollybird1234 said:
Thanks thats was really useful to no, makes me feel better than im not the only one.
No my mum doesnt own a horse at the moment. We are on the hampshire/berkshire border hun.
With our shetland he is on a livery yard which i hope will build my confidence xx
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That's a shame otherwise I would have said to come and play with my cob who is an absolute saint of a pony and very good for confidence building. I am based near Gatwick so might be a bit far for you?
 
Gatwick is about an hour away :( which actually isnt that bad lol. I would absoultle love a cob that is my goal. Iv given myself a year to save an become confident. A nice 15.2h cob, sound as a mouse not bothered by a thing happy hacker ploddy ride. Is that to much to ask. I got to get my confidence and pull myslef together or i will never be able to have my own :(
 
I've had similar problems after bad experiences. And the more nervous you are the more they pick up that something's wrong.
-Sounds ridiculous but force yourself to laugh/smile/sing as it just makes you giggle and relax.
-Find a really small, well-run riding school and offer to just do easy chores like poo-picking/water/mucking out. Being around calm horses and seeing them being handled safely will increase your confidence and trust, then you can have a go doing some tacking up/grooming of the oldest, laziest, friendliest horse they've got.
-Be around horses as much as possible even if it is just watching how other people handle their horses' foibles.
-Just take it really slow and steady, even if it takes you months for a tiny bit of confidence it's quicker than losing it all again and having to start over.

You'll get there - good luck!
 
Hi and welcome :D

I've been through this, I went through a phase where being around my horse made me feel physically sick. I couldn't even get him from the field, couldn't lead him, couldn't do anything with him let alone ride him.

It was all due to a bad accident over a year previously, that horse was sold and when I bought a new one a year or so later once recovered, I hadn't anticipated the general fear it had left me with.
I can honestly say my new horse never put a foot wrong, he's a brilliant sound horse, so much so my 9 year old daughter rides him and nicked him off me for the future.
But no matter how much the common sense part of my brain tried to be rational by telling me he was a gentle soul, the fear that gripped me was so real and terrifying I almost gave up.

I solved it by doing several things:
First of all I took the pressure off myself by setting no time frame, instead I set myself little goals, like being able to groom him (after my 9 year old brought him in lol), to eventually leading him with an adult for support, then my daughter for support.
I ceased any idea of getting on his back until I felt right on the ground with him, I needed to get to know him and build some trust in him basically.

Whilst I worked with him on the ground, I had our yards riding instructor ride him 4 times a week to keep him in work and educate him.
I then started lessons at a riding school on a superb safe and soild cob and regained my confidence riding.

Then at the end, we put the whole lot together, I started to ride my horse under instruction, he'd been well schooled, I'd had all the lessons and although hard at first, we grew in confidence together.

It took months to overcome my problems, and tbh they are still not completely gone.
I hack out now in company but I can still get the odd panic, but I can now work through them and regain control quickly.
I think it is as far as I can go, my accident was out whilst hacking and no matter what I do to mentally overcome that, breaking your leg in 9 places isn't something my brain can forget!

If like me you have an inbuilt love for horses, you will in time overcome it.
Good supportive friends are a must, I was fortunate to have a very good friend babysit me all the way and so did my daughter.

Dont give up hope, you will get there in the end if you go at your own pace, dont let anyone push you beyond what you can mentally cope with, baby steps all the way if need be xxx
 
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Don't know if you fancy contacting Holistic Horses, they specialise in nervous riders. I'm still nervous but thanks to my lovely pony and some good friends, I have more good days than bad. You'll get there xxx
 
Another thing to add is that even if you haven't had any bad experiences it's natural to get more nervous as you get older. The idea of doing things I did when I was little, when my riding was far worse, makes me feel sick!! As you get older you get more aware of hurting yourself - you have committments and a greater sense of your own mortality.
 
My little cob is an absolute Saint, he was out on loan to a novice 8 year old girl last year and was foot perfect. Puts up with YO's 2 year old running round the yard, never lifted a foot or even thought about biting. I'd trust my granny on him
OllyAnyaandMe.jpg
 
Where abouts are you on the berks/hampshire border? My yard is near wellington riding if youre near there? Ive got a retired mare that is a dream that you would be more than welcome to come and practice on. She loves the attention!! :) She cant be ridden but shell stand to be groomed for hours!
 
Hey Dollybird!!

First of all welcome....

Secondly ive been in the same boat as you before so you're not alone, I had a few scares and could feel my confidence slowly slipping away, I wasnt enjoying it and just didnt click with the horse I had. I made the sad decision of selling her to someone who had so much more time for her and set out finding something that would restore my faith in horses again.

Then came along my boy that I have now, I put an ad out for myself and he found me, he is all I could of wanted in a horse and more. He has since regained my confidence and is my best friend. I didnt think I could find a horse that would help me so much. He goes when I ask and stops when I ask, we go out hacking for hours and I never have to worry. I guess what im trying to say is that find a horse that will give you this feeling, whether you're looking to buy or just to ride make sure they make you feel as though you can trust them and it will help you so much.

I forgot to add that my boy is a lovely cob! I always said for years that I would never own a grey and never own a cob, i now own a grey cob!!!!! lol He really has restored my faith in horses! Good luck!! x
 
Threads like this remind me just what a lovely place HHO is and what generous souls there are on here 80)

Dollybird, welcome! I don't think I have the answer to your confidence issues (but the right horse and instructor can go a long way if they can be found), but I wish you the best of luck 80) It does take time though, so don't rush. Like many things, those changes that are implemented slowly but surely have the best longevity.
 
dollybird1234 said:
Thanks for all your lovely responses. Great to see im not the only one and i feel less silly about it now. I live in basingstoke so not far from wellington :)
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Youre so lucky to live os near to robinsons! i spend half my life in there...well like i said my yard would probs be around half an hour from you. But the offer is there if you think it might help :) good luck and i think youll be fine!!! Just dont give up!!!
 
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