Holly saga update

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Lill

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Took her tack back to the yard last night as i couldn't really keep it any longer without speaking to said liveries and explaining why. As it is the main reason i will give is that i didn't want anyone to ride her until her back had been checked.

One of the liveries was waiting to check i'd actually come down, i know this as i drove past first and went to the shop and came back and he was sitting in his van with the interior light on both times.

He didn't really say anything so was easily able to ignore him.

Tack Blue up only to find that someone has used my saddle, the stirrups were different, the girth was on the wrong way around and there was mud down one side.
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Managed to get said liveries to admit to using it on HOLLY.

ARGH. I hate confrontation and things are just getting worse. I don't really want to speak to them cos i can just see it upsetting me more and a huge row erupting but what else can i do!
 
Does Blue's tack belong to you?

Sorry but I think you need to give this up. Holly isn't yours and the owner obv wants this man to ride her pony (could be they are financially contributing). You need to tell the owner that you are giving the pony up but to bear in mind that you will NOT take her back on, so he has to choose between you and him - and thats it, over and done with.

You have Blue, concentrate on him
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Yes Blue's tack (all of it 2x saddle and bridle) belongs to me.

They have 3 saddles of their own they could have used (they shouldn't have used any but thats besides the point) but no, used mine specifically to get back at me.

They aren't paying for the use of her.... i need to speak to B but am going to have to wait until Saturday as he will only communicate by text with me which is very frustrating given that my phone bill went over on texts last month so i'd rather call!!!

All they've succeeded in doing is making me even more cross with them! Might chain my saddle to the rack to make a point haha!

I know, i need to just blank it out but its so hard. I have a lesson tomorrow on Blue so hopefully that will take my mind off it for a bit.
 
I agree with Weezy. It seems like this is a fight you can't win. If the horse's owner is prepared to let these people ride her there is nothing you can do, except walk away or carry on with her but accept that these people will be riding her too.
 
Its really becoming a complete and utter waste and mine and E's time and energy to carry on with her with them using her too. Fast as we are repairing the damage its coming back again.

Have come to decision to just leave them too it awful as it is to watch them destroy my work, soon Holly will be back to rearing and bouncing when she doesn't want to do something just like she used to (she isn't far from that stage again now) and i can see them hastily passing her back when that happens!
 
Take your tack home, in fact anything that is yours take home or put it in a locked box. Give this pony up and concentrate on Blue. When things go wrong then its nothing to do with you.
 
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Took her tack back to the yard last night as i couldn't really keep it any longer without speaking to said liveries and explaining why. .
....
I don't really want to speak to them cos i can just see it upsetting me more and a huge row erupting but what else can i do!

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But can't you see that you just HAVE to speak to them? Otherwise how are you going to get all this sorted out? There is no need for there to be a big row - it's much better for everyone to know where they stand. They must have twigged already that you are unhappy with them riding Holly - wouldn't it be a good idea to just talk to them straight about it? Make sure you take deep breaths/count to ten before you do so that you are in a calm frame of mind and don't lose your temper!
 
Theres a whole load of cr@p in there thats mine! I very nearly put my saddle in my car last night, but thing is i haven't really got anywhere to put stuff at home, so will have to think that one through a bit more. Holly's tack stayed in my car when i had that... which is a bit risky really!

Lets hope they go wrong soon for them.
 
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Took her tack back to the yard last night as i couldn't really keep it any longer without speaking to said liveries and explaining why. .
....
I don't really want to speak to them cos i can just see it upsetting me more and a huge row erupting but what else can i do!

[/ QUOTE ]

But can't you see that you just HAVE to speak to them? Otherwise how are you going to get all this sorted out? There is no need for there to be a big row - it's much better for everyone to know where they stand. They must have twigged already that you are unhappy with them riding Holly - wouldn't it be a good idea to just talk to them straight about it? Make sure you take deep breaths/count to ten before you do so that you are in a calm frame of mind and don't lose your temper!

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I know i have to i am just being a wuss as i hate confrontation and i know it'll stress me out and i'll forget what i'm supposed to be saying!

I wouldn't assume they have twigged they're not really that quick. Hence me taking it in the first place as i knew there was no point asking them to not ride her until she'd had her back checked (and for other reasons), i've asked them before to only walk her as she'd just had a bucket of feed and what did they do? Lots of trot. I've asked before that they don't ride her and use one of theirs and they simply disregard it and do the opposite. Infuriating!
 
Just let them all get on with it get on with your own horse, I have to say in experiance that the best thing on yards to to keep to yourself and get on with it, I try not to get involved with anyone's horses as you know everyone is right in the horse world!! I would lock up my tack if they used it though!!
Good luck
 
The way I see it you are now making matters worse.
Until you actually take some steps to resolve matters one way or another nothing is going to improve. All I can see is you making excuse after excuse.
TALK to bother owner of horse and people riding horse. Make you feeling very clear and be prepared to walk away.

I'm leaving this thread now as nothing seems to change.
 
Ha they are soooo not right though, they feed their horses before they ride them and before they take them to shows, they take them everywhere as pairs (one has to be held to watch its friend at shows and viceversa!), they lead them everywhere in bridles because they can't control them, they fed them calm and condition even though they already have too much condition. They also fed the 3 boys Wed night and didn't soak Monty's (B's horse) feed properly so he had colic yesterday! Thats just off the top of my head!

Think i'll have to sort something out for my tack though. Well just the saddles as bridle is used by B's wife on her horse (use the same bit).
 
[ QUOTE ]
TALK to bother owner of horse and people riding horse. Make you feeling very clear and be prepared to walk away.

I'm leaving this thread now as nothing seems to change.

[/ QUOTE ]

I haven't been able to talk to them as i haven't seen them by the time i get to the yard in the evenings everyone has usually been and gone or B is back in the house!!

Well one for about 2 secs last night but thats it.

Will after tomorrow.
 
Why don't you write it all down in a letter to the owner. That way they will know exactly how you feel. Put everything down that has happened including why (Bs horse got colic). Remove your saddles and bridle including the bit if its yours (let B buy her own). Ride and take care of your own horse and leave them to it.
 
Jeez this situation sounds like a nightmare, it's completely out of order using your tack and the people sound like a liability. The onlt thing you can is walk away and let them get on with it, or really make your feelings clear, otherwise nothing will change
 
Want me to come down and have a word hahhaha....

Regarding your tack - just say to them that you really dont appreciate them using your things, you dont use theres and if there are going to ride Holly or do anything then they use there own things. Invest in one of those trunks (i got a green garden one from B&Q) and put a lock on it!!!

Regarding Holly - I really dont think there is much else you can do hun and the best thing would be just to walk away and concentrate on your own horse. Id even be moving yards if i was you!! There is prob a lot more going on then you think i.e with B etc and unless it comes from him to the liveries it will carry on. By everything thats been going on it looks like B is just taking the piss out of you all really and getting his horses done for free. Hence why he doesnt want to cause a riot.....
Open your eyes and look at the bigger picture, not everything is cut and dry and id really be reviewing your friendship or situation with B!!!
 
Wow, I would be so angry if someone used my saddle etc. Speak to them about your tack and ask if there is no other horse that they want to ride and just say that you have put alot of work into her, maybe scare them by saying she used to be a fruit loop haha! etc (But put it in a nice way). If they don't let up about Holly, speak to B, if that still doesn't work.. I'd just leave her, concentrate on your own horse. If they ruin her and make her go nuts they will soon learn their lesson.
 
I have thought about writing letters as i know i'll be able to get it all in and won't forget everything, also it'd be the wimps way out of actually speaking to them, could just say 'read the letter'...

I am furious about them using my saddle and putting it back dirty - which they are denying, um sorry did the mud put itself there whilst in the tack room?

The thought would never even cross my mind to use their tack! So rude.

I can't move yards, i can't afford to, i don't pay anything for Blue as i help B out instead of paying! I do feel a bit like its a slap in the face from B really.
 
unfortunalty with livery yards its best not to get involved if they can not look after their horse and you have done our bit there is nothing more you can do sorry just talk to them tell them why you are out and leave it well alone
 
I think you need to take some time out tomorrow to speak to B - explaine that you have put 5 years of work into Holly, that you love her ans want to continue to look after/ride etc (do you pay for her feed/shoes etc? if so tell him you want to continue doing all of that)
BUT you feel that you cannot do this with the other people riding her, explaine, calmly and quietly that you cannot sit by and watch you hard graft ruined.

either the owner of Holly gives you permission to tell the other NOT to ride Holly or you cut all contact with her, incl any expenses you pay.

Otherwise you will end up getting hurt more - this is not a 'proper' loan and your coming off worst.
 
I wouldn't mind if their son was a capable rider who wasn't undoing all my work. My friend has been riding her too but she is confident and capable enough to continue my work with Holly and not wreck it.

Well B has said he should be out to lunge tonight, so shall i try to speak to him before having to speak to the liveries (if they are still there tonight-hopefully not)?
 
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