honest opinions on giving people lifts to and from the yard

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Scrappy do

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Ok I use the forum occasionally but have used a different name just in case!
So tell me how do you feel about people wanting lifts either to or from the yard. Now don't get me wrong I've always been happy to drop someone off if they've been stuck and I honestly wouldn't mind if its in the opposite direction to me, but just recently there's a couple of people who seem to think I should give them a lift home on a regular basis. At first it wasn't a problem as its in the general direction although I don't go that way if I'm on going home on my own, but now it seems like its expected and Ive found myself resenting it a bit. I don't like getting into a regular thing with it and if I'm ready to go I just want to go and hate to feel I'm obligated to start dropping people off. I actually feel a bit mean for thinking this way and I know others happily seem to give lifts without a second thought. So tell me am I being a selfish cow lol. There is easy access by public transport but I suppose now its getting dark and cold its not an attractive option.
 
Honestly, if it were me, I'd do it on the days that it wasn't an issue in my mind and on the days I was feeling a bit grumpy, I'd just say, "can't tonight, got to get straight home". OR....I'd say I could drop them to "x" point, but I didn't have time to make any detours!
 
I never mind when it's an one off ie the other persons car is in the garage. But having it as an regular thing is very annoying, what I need to go somewhere else, or head off at a different time, or they want to ride and you don't, or they are late (offen found that it's people asking for lifts are late!-how very rude!) Just too much of a pain for me to deal with, it's an millerty operation to fit my life in too make sure work/horse/partner/kid are all happy, it throws everything out if someone/thing upsets that balance.
 
The odd lift is fine but if someone can't get to the yard themselves why did they get a horse?! They know they have to get there somehow, to be honest if I couldn't afford a car or just didn't have one I certainly wouldn't have a horse. The amount of stuff I cart around, I'd be stuck if I had to walk or bike it.

This happened to me with a woman from work, has no transport yet expects lifts without even asking. I blew up at her saying I'm not a taxi and a lot of days I'm not even going straight home. Now she occasionally asks which I don't mind at all.
 
Just leave when you are ready to leave. If you need to say goodbye then give a cheery goodbye, get in the car and drive off.

I've done it before and like you I didnt begrudge them a lift but if it was inconvenient for me I just didnt do it, simple :p
 
thanks everyone, yes this is what I have been doing, I don't offer a lift but quite often get asked if I can. Sometimes I don't go straight home and when I was asked the other day and I said I was going elsewhere I got a rather moody 'oh don't worry about it then'. I wasn't worried about it, and thought it was a bit rude. I have never minded giving someone a lift if they were stuck, just hate being expected to!
 
This is exactly what happened to me last year, during the snow. Her car was "too small, and you have a big car". I was supposed to pick her up, and then hang around waiting for her to finish to take her home again. I was actually called the "Free Taxi". Soon sorted that out, and just said no, I won't be giving lifts again. At all.
 
Shysmum said:
This is exactly what happened to me last year, during the snow. Her car was "too small, and you have a big car". I was supposed to pick her up, and then hang around waiting for her to finish to take her home again. I was actually called the "Free Taxi". Soon sorted that out, and just said no, I won't be giving lifts again. At all.
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This is exactly what I see happening, I don't have a problem with the occasional lift, but people always seem to take advantage of it so that you're then seen as their only way to get to and from the yard, I've seen it happen with other people before. Just the tone of the voice when I said I wasn't going that way sent alarm bells ringing with me.
 
Hmmmm I think it depends who it is. I run the girls up our yard around. I remember how it was being at school all day then having to walk up the yard in the freezing cold, riding and sorting them out then having to wait around for ages cold and hungry for mum/dad to finish work as there's no bus routes near us. They make sure theyre done for when I need to go and I take them home.

When somebody starts expecting things though and relying on you without you saying its ok, then yeah I'd start to get a bit shirty.
 
Mwa ha ha...sorry, I don't drive due to my health. Husband drives, but he has broken his arm. So I have spent the past month walking three miles uphill and taking two buses to get to the yard. Tiring but can be done. And I have dodgy knees! Am I seriously the only one who regards lifts as wonderful things that you appreciate but do not ask for? Ok, yes if it is an emergency, and you need to get to hospital then of course ask, but otherwise?

Say no. Public transport is perfectly manageable, you just have to ignore the people on the bus who don't appreciate the smell of horse! And insist on being dropped off at the correct stop if you get one of those drivers prone to leaving people in the middle of nowhere...
 
It's the expectation rather than the act itself that grates I expect!

I generally work to the principal of favour exchange if things are regular 'wants' - they want a regular lift, maybe you need your tack cleaned weekly? Or a lie in on Sunday etc?
 
It's hard to come out and just say no. If it were me, I'd say I was starting going to see a friend in the opposite direction on the days I didn't want to taxi them about x
 
Antw23uk said:
Just leave when you are ready to leave. If you need to say goodbye then give a cheery goodbye, get in the car and drive off.

I've done it before and like you I didnt begrudge them a lift but if it was inconvenient for me I just didnt do it, simple :p
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This. Absolutely.
 
Antw23uk said:
Just leave when you are ready to leave. If you need to say goodbye then give a cheery goodbye, get in the car and drive off.

I've done it before and like you I didnt begrudge them a lift but if it was inconvenient for me I just didnt do it, simple :p
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This, and never fall for the 'can you just hang on for another 5 minutes' ploy that invariably turns into a 15 minute wait.
 
I wouldn't be doing it. Emergencies and one off's, no problem. There's a girl at ours who purposefully hangs about until someone offers her a lift. I think people feel sorry for her. I don't know why, she's a vile thing. But I digress... There is another girl who gets trains and buses everywhere, she's never scrounged for a lift.

They should, at the very least, be offering you their bus fare in return for the lift. Petrol isn't cheap these days. Even a slight detour on a journey can aid fuel consumption. It all adds up.
 
Please don't feel bad about wanting to not give lifts - I think it's rude of them to ask you, you are not their taxi! I assume they're also not contributing towards petrol costs in the way that they would have to pay towards a bus ticket, which is probably another reason for them expecting a lift?
I think you've been extremely kind to give lifts to them so far but they certainly should not expect it of you and should not get at all funny with you if you say you're unable to take them with you. They should have thought about getting to and from the yard themselves before going there, it is their responsibility and they shouldn't be making you feel like this for not taking them places. X
 
Shysmum said:
This is exactly what happened to me last year, during the snow. Her car was "too small, and you have a big car". I was supposed to pick her up, and then hang around waiting for her to finish to take her home again. I was actually called the "Free Taxi". Soon sorted that out, and just said no, I won't be giving lifts again. At all.
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Wow! That's so rude! I would've told her to get her own 'big car' and shove her little car where the sun don't shine!
 
I find that there are people out there who always expect something for nothing. We had one at the yard last year who had a little girl she used to bring to the yard with her. She used to ask quite a bit, my car found itself with no back seats for quite some time!
 
I dont drive (yet), a lift is gratefully received but I never expect or ask for one. It was my choice to share a horse that lives 20-30 minutes walk from the station and a quite enjoy the walk (although there is a slightly scary part involving a narrow pavement, mud, leaves, 60mph traffic, 2 "guard dogs" and a low fence!).

Other people at the yard generally give me a lift to the station if they are leaving around the same time as me or if they happen to be driving up and pass me. I would not expect anyone to change their plans to fit around me, that is just rude!
 
Change the deal. Tell them, next time they ask, they can have a lift if they muck your stable out in return every night, so you both get a favour... See if they like doing you a favour back!
 
I don't mind giving people lifts in the same direction/same time, I would hope if for some reason I needed one, people would do the same. Though I wouldn't particularly wait around for someone or go a long way out of my journey.
I am quite disappointed with the people who would lie to avoid it, do as you would like to be treated yourself.
 
The girls from our yard will give me a lift down in the winter bit only down to the roads so I'm out of the lanes I never expect them to go out of their way unnecessary, unless of course it's a emergency, sometimes they'll ask if I want them to wait for me but unless it's dark il say no
 
I used to have a lift to/from the farm with one of the girls up our yard, i used to finish work around the same time as her and id walk to the end of my street to make it easier for her and when we were up the farm if i decided to ride and she didnt she would go home, in the summer i often walked it and if she seen me on the way she'd give me a lift but it was never expected of her to do it, i was extremly gratefull and often did her haynets or mucked out for her as a token of appreciation.
 
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