Horse advert must read

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Welly

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CAN ANYONE HELP?



Novice rider looking for a very special confidence building gelding, 15 hh ( ish ) -



Must be 110% safe in ALL situations .......



tractors, trucks, ducks,

logs, dogs, and frogs,

thunder, wind, rain and snow,

helicopters and high speed jets flying low.

creatures that howl, creatures that prowl,

owls hooting, cars tooting

and those out shooting.

puddles, ponds, kids on bikes’

flapping tarpaulin and high flying kites.



Must be :-

good to catch, bath, load and shoe

one of those types that are ‘ easy to do ‘ !

must not buck, rear, nap or bolt

and always be responsive when asked to halt



must enjoy hacking alone or with friends

not too fizzy, not too whizzy,

go first or last

but … never too fast



no jogging, leaping, spooking or spinning

and definitely no biting or kicking



must be happy to dance in the menage

hip hop and jazz .......

ok its called ' dressage '



Will be groomed and fed,

given a big fat bed …….. must enjoy being hugged !



Are you out there ?



IF ANYONE CAN HELP, please contact
 
Maybe Walt Disney could find one for
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clever poem
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you laugh...when i sold my eventer i had people ringing up asking for thefoot perfect horse...and they wanted to pay peanuts...cloud cookoo land!
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[ QUOTE ]


CAN ANYONE HELP?



Novice rider looking for a very special confidence building gelding, 15 hh ( ish ) -



Must be 110% safe in ALL situations .......



tractors, trucks, ducks,

logs, dogs, and frogs,

thunder, wind, rain and snow,

helicopters and high speed jets flying low.

creatures that howl, creatures that prowl,

owls hooting, cars tooting

and those out shooting.

puddles, ponds, kids on bikes’

flapping tarpaulin and high flying kites.



Must be :-

good to catch, bath, load and shoe

one of those types that are ‘ easy to do ‘ !

must not buck, rear, nap or bolt

and always be responsive when asked to halt



must enjoy hacking alone or with friends

not too fizzy, not too whizzy,

go first or last

but … never too fast



no jogging, leaping, spooking or spinning

and definitely no biting or kicking



must be happy to dance in the menage

hip hop and jazz .......

ok its called ' dressage '



Will be groomed and fed,

given a big fat bed …….. must enjoy being hugged !



Are you out there ?



IF ANYONE CAN HELP, please contact

[/ QUOTE ]

AKA?? A horse with ZERO personality
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dont think your ever goin to find a horse like that personally i wouldnt want one that does everything you want it to do any you have to remember every horse will spook at some point my instructor has a 16 year old advanced dressage mare and she's a spooky bugger at silly wee things and all horses will buck if they get excited
 
I don't think that paragon of virtue exists!! Sorry OP but you need to be more realistic. Horses are not machines and all horses will spook sometimes. There is no such thing as a 100% bombproof horse, let alone a 110% one.
 
Erm, yes, it is a poem and I am certain it was posted in humour. The humour being, of course, that a horse like that doesn't exist, although so many people would like one!

OP - very funny, made me smile
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