Horse being sold on

[Equine342]

Hi, I’m looking for some advice on my situation.
I started part-loaning a horse last year in February, however I had known him 5 years before I took him on official part loan.
I had almost had him on part loan for a year and I was absolutely in love with his silliness and his eagerness to please. After 9 short months in January I found out he was being sold only 4 days before he was set to go. I was absolutely devastated and still am. I spent the day getting him ready to go. He went to a local dealer and then we lost track of him after that. I get myself upset almost everyday over it, to the point where I’m not sleeping properly and dreaming about him almost 5 nights in a row now.

I haven’t had much success in finding him, it’s pretty much been a dead end. I have lost my interest to ride which is convenient in times like these, but before he was sold I was always excited to go for a ride, now after not riding in 2 months, I don’t miss it. I miss the horses from my work and my little sisters pony but other than that I could careless about riding, I never used to be this way.

So I’m asking, Have any of you experienced this feeling of wanting to give up and not ride again? Did you ever get over it??

 

[Leo Walker]

Honestly, until you move on nothing will change. He wasn't your horse and he was sold. You got to say good bye, and he sounds like a nice sort who would have gotten a good home. Unfortunately in that situation you are always at risk of them being sold out from under you.

I'd do whatever I needed to do to mentally let go. You need to get to the point where you remember him fondly, not where its upsetting you like this. It maybe that there's other things going on in your life that are causing you to fixate on this, so that might be worth looking into as well.

 

[MrsMozart]

As LW says, you need to find a way to move on. You're grieving what you had and the loss of it, especially hard given the circumstances, however it's no way to be living your life.

I've had to have horses put to sleep and it hurts beyond anything and I can still find myself crying at odd moments, but on the whole I can look back on wonderful memories and look forward to making many more.

 

[SpringArising]

Two months isn't a long time to get over anything, really. When I sold one of my most favourite horses, it took me years to get over it. It'll happen - just give yourself time

 

[Chappie]

I can appreciate how you feel, as I've had my loan horse 5 years and have to bear in mind he could be taken away from me and not necessarily to a situation which is as good or better in all ways.
You are possibly feeling worse just now due to the pandemic situation, as its affecting everyone in different ways.
I'd say just try to keep busy and you mind occupied in any ways you can, doing positive things.
Try and think that if you helped make that one horse's life good, then there will be other horses out there that you can enjoy riding and looking after and bring happiness to their lives and yours too? You never know what opportunities may come your way in life; I hope you can take up riding again soon x

 

[Equine342]

Thank you all so much for your advice, I now realise I didn’t give myself enough time to recover from such a hard time before going straight back to the yard, seeing all the old horses and the fields he used to love. I still miss him terribly but today I managed to find the new owner, she is lovely and the horse is well loved, I was worrying over nothing it seems! thanks again.

 

[Leo Walker]

Thank you all so much for your advice, I now realise I didn’t give myself enough time to recover from such a hard time before going straight back to the yard, seeing all the old horses and the fields he used to love. I still miss him terribly but today I managed to find the new owner, she is lovely and the horse is well loved, I was worrying over nothing it seems! thanks again.

I am so glad you are in a happier place.

 

[MissTyc]

Glad you found him and are feeling better about things. My first loan pony was sold out from under me when I was 12. I wasn't told she was going until after she'd been picked up and I was heartbroken. As a child and being the 80s without internet, she was just "gone" from my life, but years later I managed to track down the owner via the yard. I got back in touch and found out about a complex family situation resulting in a quick sale of the pony. It was nice to know it had ended well for the pony and I was able to "forget" about her. I think your first big equine love has a big impact on you and it's easy to imagine you will never love like that again ... Equally, the first horse you put down also has that impact and makes you feel you can never go through that pain ever again ... And yet here we are, riding, loving horse after horse ... I've lost a few now and it's a heartache but I accept that a life without horses would be boring (although I'd have so much money!!!).

 

[Eclipse 2020]

Glad you found him I had a part loan sold for under me when I was 15 years old the horse just disappeared. I was devastated he was a amazing horse and I was basically horseless until I was 18. Trust me it gets easier as time goes on . There is a place in hall for people who do that to others it’s a real b## move.