Horse buying jitters

[Sprogladite01]

I'm currently searching for a new horse after losing my boy last October. Now I'm actively looking, I'm reasonably sure my boy traumatised the heck outta me. Our issues were documented in the vet sub forum if anyone wants to look. I've viewed a horse twice who I quite like, a little bit green, but a lovely young mare and she is the sort of horse I used to dream about buying as a child.

I viewed her for the second time yesterday and came out of it thoroughly confused. I can't say there isn't anything I don't like about her - but I feel sick at the thought of bringing her home. Part of me is wondering if I'm subconsciously aware of something iffy and part of me wonders if I should just bite the bullet and get on with it, get her thoroughly vetted etc and get her home to crack on. Help!

 

[SOS]

I can relate to this but for me it’s more of the financial and general commitment that scares me. The day before we exchanged contracts on our house, after six months of being in the buying process, I tried to convince my partner we had to pull out and felt sick about buying it. Since buying I haven’t felt like it at all. I feel the same when I buy a horse, no matter how tried/tested/vetted.

So yes there are gut feelings but also some people (like me!) struggle with spending a large amount of money and the huge commitment behind these decisions.

ETA; I even felt like it buying my last horse who I knew inside out, had ridden for 7 years, had never been lame and passed a five stage vetting with X-rays. I never regretted buying him after but almost walked away at the final hour!

 

[Sprogladite01]

I'm glad it's not just me lol. I feel like there is a lot of pressure to "get it right" this time - my last horse was the first horse I'd ever bought and I ended up with 2 years of lameness and medical issues, barely rode him at all and ended up losing him anyway! Hence...traumatised. Lol

 

[mustardsmum]

I can completely understand this. After I lost my boy, I found the most amazing pony who ticked every single box, flew a vetting and I loved riding him. Knew his past, his owner, everything. Nearly pulled out due to completely irrational worries (money, could I look after him - stupid thought given I've had horses for years, was I too old, would he become ill like my old boy....) the list of worries seemed endless. I had also had years of vets bills with two ponies, one who injuries herself breathing, the other was just plagued by normal elderly pony issues. Thankfully, I did not back out and now have my wonderful horse who I adore riding who is sound, safe and everything his owner said he'd be. So I totally understand why you would be traumatised from loosing a horse - its always going to be a risk, but if you have done your homework and have them vetted, and you click with the horse, it will be ok.

 

[blitznbobs]

Shes the sort of horse you dreamed of as a child but

A) are you the same rider you were as a child

And

B is she the sort of horse you dream of now?

 

[sport horse]

Always remember the old saying 'if in doubt do without'. Keep looking until you find one that you can say you have no reservations about.

 

[Widgeon]

Always remember the old saying 'if in doubt do without'. Keep looking until you find one that you can say you have no reservations about.

I think this is dependent on the individual though. I was entirely unconvinced about buying my current horse. I had to be cajoled into it and goodness I'm glad I had a knowledgeable friend to do that - horse is a star and I love him to bits now. As SOS says, if you're a bit of a worrier by nature you might well get these feelings about any big decision.

Do you have a trusted horsey friend to bounce this off? It's hard to make a call on this without knowing you.

 

[millitiger]

How would you feel if the owner called you and said she had sold to someone else?

If relieved, I would move on.
If you'd be gutted, I would snap her up! With vetting of course.

 

[Sprogladite01]

I think this is dependent on the individual though. I was entirely unconvinced about buying my current horse. I had to be cajoled into it and goodness I'm glad I had a knowledgeable friend to do that - horse is a star and I love him to bits now. As SOS says, if you're a bit of a worrier by nature you might well get these feelings about any big decision.

Do you have a trusted horsey friend to bounce this off? It's hard to make a call on this without knowing you.

Yes, I have a couple of people - one is a friend who is heavily biased towards buying (I think because she'd love to buy her if she could lol) and thinks if anything behavioural comes up then you work on it, and if anything physical/medical comes up that's what insurance is for. But that didn't exactly help me last time! The other is my instructor who thinks she is a very nice and sensible looking/sounding prospect and she's assured me I'd have her full support and help if I were to buy this girl.

How would you feel if the owner called you and said she had sold to someone else?

If relieved, I would move on.
If you'd be gutted, I would snap her up! With vetting of course.

I honestly don't know, I've tried to think about this today and I think I'd be a straight half relieved and half gutted! I just feel very conflicted and like I'm probably over thinking things. I'm under a lot of personal stress at the moment with work and family illness among other things so am feeling overwhelmed anyway and I think trying to decide this is tipping me over the edge and just blowing my mind >.<

 

[Upthecreek]

With the others things you have going on in your life it sounds like now is not the right time to buy any horse. If you’re already feeling stressed and overwhelmed it might be best to wait a while until you’re in a better headspace.

 

[nagblagger]

Why not organise the vetting and then see what that may bring up. This also 'buys' you more time to decide and you will just lose the cost of the vetting if you don't go on to purchase the mare.

 

[Sprogladite01]

Why not organise the vetting and then see what that may bring up. This also 'buys' you more time to decide and you will just lose the cost of the vetting if you don't go on to purchase the mare.

I've just had a conversation with my family about doing exactly that - the argument is null and void if she fails a vetting, and if she passes it's a confidence boost (acknowledging a vetting only judges what the vet sees on the day and all that jazz).

 

[nagblagger]

When i feel overwhelmed i just break things down into small stages to cope with. good luck with the vetting and of course we will need the mandatory photos.

 

[Widgeon]

The other is my instructor who thinks she is a very nice and sensible looking/sounding prospect and she's assured me I'd have her full support and help if I were to buy this girl.

Sounds like a sensible purchase then. I would vet, see how it goes and then see how you feel.

 

[Sprogladite01]

Thanks everyone. I've arranged a 5 stage vetting for Saturday...eeeek!

 

[Squeak]

Thanks everyone. I've arranged a 5 stage vetting for Saturday...eeeek!

Good luck for staturday and let us know how it goes!

 

[Fjord]

Thanks everyone. I've arranged a 5 stage vetting for Saturday...eeeek!

Good luck! I do think that nerves are normal for any big purchase, especially as one as fraught with emotion as a horse!

 

[nagblagger]

Are you going to be there?
Exciting times..

 

[mustardsmum]

Aw good luck - hope Saturday goes well! Remember to come back and tell us all!

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Always remember the old saying 'if in doubt do without'. Keep looking until you find one that you can say you have no reservations about.

That only works if the reservations are rational. If they are fear/trauma driven, a person would have the same reservations about any horse.

 

[Sprogladite01]

Are you going to be there?
Exciting times..

Yes I'm going to be there - I didn't get to go to the vetting for my last horse and it was one of my biggest regrets!

That only works if the reservations are rational. If they are fear/trauma driven, a person would have the same reservations about any horse.

Thank you, that's basically why I've decided to go ahead - because I know (as much as I can if that makes sense) that this is in my head!

I will keep everyone updated

 

[nagblagger]

Brilliant news and you can then discuss any concerns with the vet, who will hopefully be able to reassure you she is fit for purpose.

 

[Sprogladite01]

As it turns out, all of the mental turmoil was all for nothing - she failed the vetting! We called it a day after the 2 stage as she had already failed on lameness, she also had a sore back, imbalanced feet and we also found 2 lumps. Incredibly she's back up for sale on Horsequest at the same price (and she isn't cheap for what she is!). Honestly it's such a minefield! The hunt continues...

 

[splashgirl45]

That’s a shame but good job you went for the vetting so you will not be regretting not buying her. Is it a dealer selling? If so make sure you avoid any others from the same dealer

 

[Muddy unicorn]

I’m sorry this didn’t work out - maybe you subconsciously suspected she would fail? When we were looking for a horse for my daughter a couple of years ago there was one which failed spectacularly - the vet didn’t even finish the 2 stage - two weeks later he was back up on horse quest for MORE than the price we’d been given .. the dealer was highly recommended too

 

[Muddy unicorn]

Duplicate post

 

[JGC]

Maybe you'd subconsciously realised something was wrong. I had two vetted when buying my last one and felt very up and down about whether I was doing the right thing before the vetting. I think I knew they weren't right!

I had a gelding that had an obsession with the vet (lost him at 14 to a heart attack in the field) and it took me over a year to get another.

 

[JGC]

I’m sorry this didn’t work out - maybe you subconsciously suspected she would fail? When we were looking for a horse for my daughter a couple of years ago there was one which failed spectacularly - the vet didn’t even finish the 2 stage - two weeks later he was back up on horse quest for MORE than the price we’d been given .. the dealer was highly recommended too

Ha - cross-posted

 

[Kaylum]

At least you know. They will be chancing their arm that the horse wont be vetted.

 

[Sprogladite01]

Yes indeed, they are a stud so not technically a dealer but I'm assuming would be covered by similar legislation in the eyes of the law if it came down to it as they're a commercial business. You are probably right @Kaylum re chancing it - they told me it would be difficult to find an impartial vet for a vetting as they had connections with most practices in the area to ensure they always had vet coverage in an emergency - luckily the lady I used to have come and do chiro on the pony I lost is a vet and happened to be based 20 mins from them! They didn't see her coming lol (especially as I live 2 and a half hours away from them!). All worked out in the end. Just glad I didn't bring the dream horse home to have it turn into a nightmare! I keep telling myself when it's meant to be, the right one will find me...