Horse gone on loan - woe is me alert!

[fairyclare]

I need a HHO slap and told to quite my crying!

So, my mare has gone on loan to a stud, I dropped her off last Tuesday, contracts signed, handover of all her little ways and things she doesn't like (she is a bit quirky!) all parties happy etc.

Now, I am very happy with the place she is at, the care she is receiving and the people who own/run the stud but....

I am so upset about her going, its a 2 and half hour drive so whilst I can go and visit her whenever I like, in practice it isn't going to be that often.

I went today to see her and they told me that she was in the field on her own because she had been chasing the other broodmare (no one is in foal yet) she isn't a horse who likes her own company so she wasn't that settled when we first arrived, she has horses all around her so she is by no means 'alone' just alone in her own big paddock and she was more than happy with our company and apples!

It really upset me and I want to bring her home, I have spoken to them about my concerns and they assure me that it was yesterday afternoon they had to separate her from the other mare and that she had been ok (although I doubt that as she had dried sweat all over her and down in-between her front legs etc) they are going to try and integrate her with an old mare who will ignore her when she tries to chase her and runs around like a plum that she is - highly strung idiot warmblood.....

I honestly cannot believe how hard this has been, I have cried almost everyday about her, once on the tube in central London then again in a busy supermarket, I cried again today when I had to leave her.

I know it is the right thing for her she needs time out, she isn't easy and has had a few issues that, physically were minor but mentally she is just not a riding horse atm, despite looking the bests he has ever looked.

I need a slap, my rational brain is putting her needs before my own and I know the time out is what she needs, she has fabulous breeding and is very well put together but my irrational emotional brain is telling me to get in the Horsebox and collect her and bring her home immediately.

 

[mandyroberts]

I think you need to tell us more for us to give an opinion - why she can't be ridden, why / where she has gone as a brood mare but it sounds like your head knows you ave done the right thing but your heart is fighting it?

 

[fairyclare]

I think you need to tell us more for us to give an opinion - why she can't be ridden, why / where she has gone as a brood mare but it sounds like your head knows you ave done the right thing but your heart is fighting it?

I don't want to post where she is, no one need to know that in a public forum.

She can be ridden but my gut feeling is she needs time out - for clarification, the vet recommended it and was happy to speak to the loaners about her previous issues and that none were genetic or of any concern.

She is my baby and whilst I knew it would be hard to give her up, I didn't think it was going to totally break my heart like it has.

 

[FfionWinnie]

She isn't sounding like broodmare material to me frankly!

 

[Tiddlypom]

Erm, if she is stressy, quirky and not quite sound, why would breeding from her be a good idea?

 

[fairyclare]

She is sound! At no point have I said she was lame, where did that come from?

They are over the moon with her, apart from running after the other mare she is in with - I have only had her in a heard where she was no issue, she is stressy on her own - my old horse is a saint but even she would not like being on her own!


This is a head over heart issue, the stud have no issues and really want her to stay but understand that I am struggling.

ETA.... quirky wasn't the right word, can't edit now though.

 

[Limbo1]

Ok tough love coming ....
She is a horse and will be FINE. It has been a short amout of time she will settle, have a baby and chill. Just give it time and find yourself another thing/animal/person to focus on.

 

[teddypops]

I let my friend have one of my ponies on loan for 2 months when her horse went lame, I was heartbroken for about 2 weeks but it gradually got easier! Give your mare a few weeks to settle in/ you get used to the situation and if things are no better, take it from there!

 

[Luci07]

Are you stressing more because you think your mare isnt' happy or because you are missing her? its not really clear from your post. If its because you miss her, then sit on your hands. If you are worried your mare isn't happy then monitor the situation and see how it goes. Mine went off as a broodmare to lovely people. She turned into a horrible cow and was sent home to me in disgrace in less than a week!

 

[fairyclare]

Limbo1, that is what I need and what all my friends who know her and me and the situation have said.

To be fair to the horse, she has been there 10 days, she has gone from a busy livery yard to a tranquil piece of heaven with lots of mummies, babies and youngsters, she is also being teased as they are keen to cover her asap.

I know I have done the right thing.
She is a fabulous mare, the kindest, sweetest temperament and generally a pleasure to have around, they are over the moon with her.
Its my motherly instinct (such a saddo!) kicking in, I want all my brood at home with me.

Teddypops, thank you, it was getting easier until I saw her. I think I need to leave it at least a month before I go again, when my nerves have had time to settle about it all.

 

[fairyclare]

Are you stressing more because you think your mare isnt' happy or because you are missing her? its not really clear from your post. If its because you miss her, then sit on your hands. If you are worried your mare isn't happy then monitor the situation and see how it goes. Mine went off as a broodmare to lovely people. She turned into a horrible cow and was sent home to me in disgrace in less than a week!

Because I am missing her.
She is not loyal, whoever has got the sweets is her best friend.

The lovely lady who looks after has sent me loads of pic's and vids! This is my problem not hers. She told me today to stop worrying that she will settle.
I do trust them, I am being emotional - this week was certainly the wrong week to go and see her! lol

 

[Amirah]

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if your gut is saying she's not happy and you need to go and get her, then go and get her. After a lifetime of bad rational decisions I'm listening to mine a bit more these days. Is being a broodmare that great anyway, it must be horrible having your foal taken away. Health wise it's not totally risk free either.

 

[Tiddlypom]

I know it is the right thing for her she needs time out, she isn't easy and has had a few issues that, physically were minor but mentally she is just not a riding horse atm, despite looking the bests he has ever looked.

She is sound! At no point have I said she was lame, where did that come from?

Maybe I've missread it, but she's not easy and she needs time out as she has had a few 'issues'? Sounded like temperament + soundness/health problems.

Maybe you could consider roughing her off instead?

 

[Arzada]

I know it is the right thing for her she needs time out, she isn't easy and has had a few issues that, physically were minor but mentally she is just not a riding horse atm, despite looking the bests he has ever looked.

I need a slap, my rational brain is putting her needs before my own and I know the time out is what she needs, she has fabulous breeding and is very well put together but my irrational emotional brain is telling me to get in the Horsebox and collect her and bring her home immediately.

Go and get her and give her time out in the herd she was with or find a herd somewhere else for her. A horse can have time out without being a broodmare alone in a field.

 

[ozpoz]

It is understandable that you are missing her, but you haven't abandoned her, you've found what you believed to be the best option for her, and you say that she is being looked after by a "lovely" person, who is good at keeping in touch with you. 10 days is nothing to settle in a new place. Give it time, especially as you're happy with the way she is looking.
Most mares are very happy as brood mares, and not so bothered when the foal is weaned, in my experience.
Take yourself off for some treats - you know you are there for her if she needs you, but right now it sounds more as if she just needs time to adjust to new surroundings.

 

[AmyMay]

If she's been there 10 days - why is she covered in dry sweat? I'd be concerned.