Horse i sold last year am getting ignored! Help???

K

kateknights

Well-Known Member
Joined
30 March 2006
Messages
1,246
Location
Lincolnshire
Visit site
Hi, some of you may know and some may not, i sold my cob last June to a certain person. Now i was assured of a home for life from this person, two months later i found out after reading a post on a forum that she no longer has her, i was truly upset by this! I have emailed three times now asking if i could go and see her (the horse that is) as apparantely she is only on loan. So as the title says i am being ignored now, so i have no choice in thinking that i am being lied to!
This mare played a huge part in my life, she was the first horse i had after a 15 year break and she did wonders for my confidence, she also suffers with sweetitch so this time of year is crucial that she is getting the right type of care, so i am very worried about her.
I have done nothing wrong to this person! Is it too much to ask for an email as to how she's doing? I would love to go and see her, which i was assured i could when i sold her to said person!
I really wish i had never sold her and would do anything to have her back!
advice please
Thanks
Kate x
 
I know it must be very hard but this is the down side of selling horses - You give up all rights to them. What makes u think she wouldn't be getting the correct treatment/care in a new home? Sorry to sound harsh but it's tough I'm afraid.
 
Hard as it is the new owners are not obliged to keep in touch, i think as a seller you hear all sorts of promises but once the horse leaves the yard you no longer have any say in any part of their lives. Maybe it didn't work out with the new owners and unless you were prepared to buy the horse back and they had this in writing (which i doubt would be binding) they can actually do as they want. Sorry if this seems harsh but if you want to still be part of a horses life then you need to put it on loan and not sell it.
 
Sadly there is nothing you can do. I had a youngster fall into the wrong hands, and it breaks my heart to know she is being ruined, but I can do nothing about it. You just have to move on - sorry if that sounds harsh, but when you sell a horse, you wave goodbye to any rights.
 
I am so sorry, but I have to agree. Once you have sold a horse, that's it. I still miss a horse I sold three years ago, but I had to come to terms with it.

So sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear. ((((hugs)))) sm x
 
The owner of the horse is completely within their rights to decide that they don't want any more contact with you. I'm afraid if you were that concerned the horse's future then you should have kept her. Harsh, but we see a lot of these threads and honestly, how can you expect to be in control of a horse's future or oversee it's care if you sell it?
 
You did what you thought was right at the time and perhaps the person who bought from you did the same, at the time it seemed right for them. I am sure they would want to do the same as you and in the event of finding a new home find a suitable and loving one.

You cant change things but try to think more positively. They probably feel very awkward, too awkward to reply to your messages, because they have not kept to what they thought would happen.

Perhaps you could jot down a friendly letter and pop it through their door, or recorded delivery, just keeping things very nice and saying you would love to get in touch with horses new carer and catch up as you are missing her dreadfully and in the event they considered selling could you have first dibs or if they have sold, would they be able to pass your details to the new owner in the event they decided to sell.

Be prepared for rejection, for whatever reason, and try to move on. Its sad, but I don't think there is an awful lot you can do, unless you play detective and try to track horse down behind their back, which may or may not open a whole new can of worms.

I hope things pan out for you x
 
I think the last suggestion about writing a polite letter is the best idea, but do you want to buy her back, or are in a position to buy her back. If not, then although it is heartbreaking, I'm afraid there is nothing you can do.
 
At the end of the day, you sold the horse and have no right to tell the new owner that they have to keep it and also have no right to know where it is. If you wanted to make sure the horse was in a home for life and wanted to know exactly what it was up to then you should have loaned it to someone you can trust.

I would try and forget about the horse and pestering the person you sold it to will not get you anywhere, they probably see you as a crazy stalker!

Sorry if this sounds a little harsh but I find it a bit annoying that people sell a horse then assume they still have some kind of right to be part of that horses life still! You gave up those rights the minute the cash changed hands.

When I sold a horse in the past I expected to never hear about it again - I have no idea where he is now and thats something you have to accept when you sell your horse.
 
I agree with the other replys I'm afraid. As hard as it is, she is no longer your responsibility, you sold her and that was your choice. I have sold horses and although some have kept in touch others have not, thats how it goes, you can't expect any more. Put the boot on the other foot and think how you would feel if you bought a horse and the previous owner was always getting in touch and checking up on you to the point where perhaps you felt like it wasn't really your horse. I have to say, I don't mind previous owners contacting me about horses in my care but I would get annoyed if they were constant and trying to tell me how they thought I should be caring for it or always wanting to come and see it, they are my horses, my responsibilty, I havn't loaned them off someone and therefore no one else has any right to anything to do with them other than me. I have to say I was slightly annoyed last summer when a previous owner of one of mine posted a pic on fb of my horse in the field, she had passed by and stopped to look for him and taken a picture over the gate. He isn't her horse to take pics and post on fb anymore! I let it pass but it was a bit off IMO.
I know these aren't the replys you were hoping for but unfortunately they are reality. As sad as it may be for you to move on, you must.
 
And this is exactly the reason i have hung on to my old jumping pony for 13 years and he will be staying here for life.

Unless the horse is on loan you have no say in it as im sure you must have known when you sold it. Accept that and move on and learn from this experience. I know if i was the person who bought the horse i would be incredibly annoyed by your pestering and would be less likely to respond, especially if you were telling me what i should and shouldnt be doing!

Im very lucky that with the horses i sold in the past the new owners all kept in touch til the day the ponies died (for about 10 years in one case!) but that is pretty unusual i think, most of the time you are lucky to even hear that they have settled in ok!
 
Oh Kate, so sorry. Been thinking about this today. I think the first class posted letter suggestion, regarding possibly buying back in the future as you miss her (but no more !!) is a good one.... maybe once that's done, you will get the gut feeling that you've done all you can, and it'll be easier to let it go and move on. If not, you just have to let yourself grieve.

We build up such an intense relationship with our horses, like dogs too, and they become such a huge part of our lives. It's natural to worry about them, and it is hard to let go, but we have both had no choice !

((((hugs again))) sm x
 
Last edited:
i have to agree with others, inless you signed a reciept saying your must have first refussal if ever horse is to be sold which i do with mine
 
Sorry but what planet are you from!!!! Sold horse and there for have no say what new owner does, she could have her shot tomorrow and that would be her business not yours. Grow up.
 
Sadly Ischa, that piece of paper isn't legally enforceable, as has been proved in the past.
Sorry if I was a bit blunt katekinghts, I think I was in a blunt mood when I posted! Glad you appreciated the kick up the bum... !
 
As sad as it is i agree with the others, theres nothng you can do about it.

What a shame the new owner wont let you stay in touch though, thats very heartless. Most people would love to keep in touch and recognise the bonds that people have with their horses. A quick reply and a photo would put your mind at rest, so its a bit selfish they are ignoring you
 
kateknights said:
Is it too much to ask for an email as to how she's doing?
Click to expand...

No it certainly is not too much to ask. Sadly it seems like they are not interested going by the lack of reply, and as said, once you have sold them, there is nothing you can do. I often wonder about some of our wonderful horses and how they are doing and if they are well cared for but I have to accept that I am highly unlikely to ever see them again, I know its tough, but that's the way it is, sorry.
 
Sorry but I do have feelings, I've taken on horses that people found difficult and wanted rid of. Still got two of them. Past owners told lies and when I tried to find out more didn't want to know, as said you sold the horse you have no say in it's future and the new owner really doesn't have to keep you informed as they now own said horse and as I said can do what they want and when they want with said animal. You relinquished all rights when you sold him.
 
johnrobert said:
Sorry but I do have feelings, I've taken on horses that people found difficult and wanted rid of. Still got two of them. Past owners told lies and when I tried to find out more didn't want to know, as said you sold the horse you have no say in it's future and the new owner really doesn't have to keep you informed as they now own said horse and as I said can do what they want and when they want with said animal. You relinquished all rights when you sold him.
Click to expand...

This is how you should have replied in the first place. Having feelings for a horse is nothing to do with maturity!

Personally, I would always be happy to discuss my horse with previous owners, in fact I'd love to. Perhaps she feels guilty & that's why she hasn't responded.

I sold one last year & he's on the market again. Not much I can do though as I can't have him back.
 
Oh dear its just heartbreaking stuff. i know exactly how you feel. I sold a first ridden to supposed friends of the family only to be told by a 3rd party over the cake counter at a hunter trial that it was shame that the pony had laminitis. I was in tears. Then the next day mum got a call from another 3rd party saying that at the races that day someone had said 'did you hear that X had sold a pony to Y with laminitis'. I was so hurt, I mean really deeply hurt, and cross. I contacted the buyer by email, explained by side of stuff and she replied with hers. I did feel I had the right to do this as it was becoming clear that i was being blamed for selling a laminitic pony with out full disclosure which obviously wasn't the case and my reputation was in jeopardy. Anyway, the new owner apologised, said it wasn't my fault, and i said great well we won't fall out about it and we would be delighted to see her next time out. So when we did bump into her next time, she was so rude and cold to me I left in tears. Well the upshot of this is, exactly as others have said, there is nothing you can do and you are bound to be deeply hurt, but i would suggest (in case you can't walk away) that you write to the owner, like Archiesmummy says, and explain how important the horse it to you and how you just want to see her again - appealing to their softer side. However, if you don't get what you want, you are going to have to turn the other way. I wish you luck in this, and empathise with your pain. if only we could look after our pets forever and we wouldn't have to go through this. Chin up, be positive, but be realistic too. xxx
 
Sorry but sometimes being blunt is the best policy. not everyone is kissy kissy, a lot of sellers once horse is sold, it's sold, why sell a horse otherwise, when you sell a car, house or what you have no say on what the new owners do, and sorry but why should these new owners keep her in the loop. I've owned horses for over 40 years and if I'm being tactless to her feelings, I say again grow up.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top