Horse is over confident

[My_breadbagel]

I rescued a 4 y/o back in 2019, and he was terrified of everything. Had meltdowns over being rugged, terrified of the farrier etc. I worked very hard and these days he’s the bravest little thing who rarely spooks.

he’s finally mature enough at 6 y/o to start ridden work. We started him last year but he quickly let us know that even though he was good to back, he couldn’t go further due to being too babyish physically and mentally. He would spin at us while lunging as well so instead of letting the behaviour continue I did the right thing and turned him away other than basic handling.

We waited a year, and he’s finally mature enough and mentally and physically ready. I’ve finally gotten somewhere with lunging (yay!) and he’s happy to work and continue learning. I take things very slowly and only increase work when he’s ready.

We actually started work again because he’s too pushy. His ego is overgrown to the point he kicks his door constantly (he comes in for a max of an hour a day with hay) and he has no regard for my space. He walks all over me and won’t back up. I ask politely, signal with my hand, push his chest, use my body weight to push him, but nothing. He just pushes back. I’ve even smacked him for standing on me and not getting off… but he didn’t so much as flinch! It’s so frustrating because he does it if I bribe him with food but I know it will just make him worse. I reward good behaviour but I’m still in the mindset of “he’s a rescue! I can’t shout/hit him!” I eventually end up giving him a whack and a firm no but I’m in bits after.

the last week he’s been a fool. We have a night paddock with no grass and grazing turnout for the day. I like to do it this way as the horses get to have run galloping about in the larger grass less paddock at night and the grass gets a good rest and they don’t become barrels. I used to lead him out and my older gelding together but after he ran off three times and upset my other horse I thought sod this and started leading them separately. If I take the older first he throws a Goliath tantrum and gallops about, spooking the older and making him hard to handle. I usually take him first for this reason. This morning the oldest came to the gate so I took him first and it was pretty wet and windy out. My lovely gelding was very quickly upset by the rescues stupid behaviour and literal tantrum- kicking the fence, jumping on the spot, galloping up and down. I wouldn’t care but they are neighbouring paddocks so he had no reason to be so upset.

when I went to get him he was bucking at me and galloping up and down and right up to where I was standing. I swung my lead rope whenever he galloped or bucked at me, as I was on the other side of the fence and he was being disrespectful. When he eventually calmly trotted to me and walked the last bit and let me get his head collar on, we set off. He was perfect, sweet as anything and respecting me and my space. Great!

then it got ugly. He saw a couple of dogs in a neighbouring field and froze before trying to bolt. I turned his head to me and he was fine until he reared and clipped me in the shoulder. He then tried going up again and running off but I kept hold of him, smacked him with the lead rope, and kept walking to get him to the field. I’m completely fine, and after a minute to cool off I went out to him to get off his rug and a scratch and he stood calmly so I gave him and the oldest a treat. I feel like it was completely out of fear and my mum saw the whole thing and said he didn’t intend to strike but as he went up he just clipped me.

I know it was my fault, because I turned him towards me to get a better grip so he couldn’t bolt. It’s a shame because he had made a little progress over the last few days with personal respect- ever since I’ve manage to lunge him and carried a whip while practicing in hand work. The issue is, I know even though he didn’t intend to hurt me, his lack of respect definitely led to it. A year ago he would have been to meek to try such a thing.

I’ve done a good job with him, managing to give him confidence and he finally lifts all four feet, catches like a dream and likes to cuddle and groom with me which he never used to. My oldest was also a nervous wreck and he’s now as mellow as anything. He was a walls-up sort of character and hated people, so the buckets of love I gave him turned him into a mellow, willing to please teddy bear who is a dream to handle. But our rescue wants to push every button the moment I show him affection and it’s draining. I want to love him- I’m okay with the fact he’s not as cuddly or as affectionate as his mentor, but it’s horrid having to be constantly be on guard. I hate how guilty I feel for punishing him- every horsey person and professional says the same thing- don’t feel guilty for telling him off for being a brat.

he’s gone past the point of being confident. If I’m in the field with both horses he doesn’t dare get cheeky as my older horse will launch himself at him if he so much as swishes his tail at me. My oldest is my heart horse and has always taken care of me and will put himself between us and get him to back up so I can enter the field, but when he’s not around to help me lead it’s a problem. It’s turning him out that’s the issue and everything else I have managed to correct. I’m still making progress, but not as quickly as I would like.

any advice? Should I keep getting pushy or am I making it worse? What would you do? I know he’s not afraid as his fear response is to cower, and I don’t want that either, so it’s a matter of finding the balance.

Hes the sweetest chap when he’s minding his manners on the yard and even in the field, and I’m his home for life regardless of if he’s a Field ornament or not.

 

[ihatework]

He’s not a rescue any more. He is a fit, strong brat that needs to learn to grow up by the sounds of it.

You are probably a bit too close to him emotionally, I’d ship him off to a decent breakers for 8 weeks, you’ll likely get a lovely horse back at the end of it

 

[katastrophykat]

I’d send him to someone that doesn’t have the mindset that he’s a rescue and second guess their every move with him as you will naturally do- he’s no longer a rescue, he’s a bolshy 6 yo ready for work to occupy his brain- assuming that he’s sound?

Spooking at ‘normal’ stuff like dogs and acting like a knob is all stuff that my homebred did at 5/6 once he’d got the hang of some work and had time off- he was a ballache to bring back into work the first time at 5 but after that, no bother at all- I just had to get on day after day and ride it out (yes- there was nothing wrong with him physically!) until the phase passed and he was his usual happy self again. If you’re stuck in his past and struggling to see him as he stands now, send him to someone that will and hopefully he’ll come home ready to go and engage his brain!

 

[stormox]

He isnt a rescue now. He is a brat of a 6yr old. You need to change your mentality - forget his past and treat him like he is now. Firm fair and consistant but he mustnt crowd your space. Get back MEANS get back - no ifs and buts..

 

[eggs]

Sounds like he doesn't know or respect your boundaries so I would suggest that you probably are not the right person to continue his educaction at this point in time. Send him away for backing and enjoy him when he comes back.

As a wise person once said 'love your horse and he will love you right back into hospital' ie. if you are too kind/soft/whatever word you want to use you are setting yourself up for a nasty accident with a horse that walks all over you.

 

[smolmaus]

I volunteer on a rescue yard with as many sob stories as you can think of. Starved, abandoned, beaten, you name it and they absolutely get a smack when they need one. I have been told off for not being firm enough with them as well because yes, you love them and you want them to love you back but it does them a huge disservice to coddle them to the point they're becoming dangerous. When they have boundaries and have been taught firmly what they can and cannot do you have a happier and more relaxed horse.

 

[My_breadbagel]

He isnt a rescue now. He is a brat of a 6yr old. You need to change your mentality - forget his past and treat him like he is now. Firm fair and consistant but he mustnt crowd your space. Get back MEANS get back - no ifs and buts..

Thanks, I just think I need to hear it from someone who doesn’t know me or care about me.

 

[My_breadbagel]

I volunteer on a rescue yard with as many sob stories as you can think of. Starved, abandoned, beaten, you name it and they absolutely get a smack when they need one. I have been told off for not being firm enough with them as well because yes, you love them and you want them to love you back but it does them a huge disservice to coddle them to the point they're becoming dangerous. When they have boundaries and have been taught firmly what they can and cannot do you have a happier and more relaxed horse.

Thanks, that’s really helpful and good to know! I gets rid of the guilt knowing that

I’d send him to someone that doesn’t have the mindset that he’s a rescue and second guess their every move with him as you will naturally do- he’s no longer a rescue, he’s a bolshy 6 yo ready for work to occupy his brain- assuming that he’s sound?

Spooking at ‘normal’ stuff like dogs and acting like a knob is all stuff that my homebred did at 5/6 once he’d got the hang of some work and had time off- he was a ballache to bring back into work the first time at 5 but after that, no bother at all- I just had to get on day after day and ride it out (yes- there was nothing wrong with him physically!) until the phase passed and he was his usual happy self again. If you’re stuck in his past and struggling to see him as he stands now, send him to someone that will and hopefully he’ll come home ready to go and engage his brain!

Unfortunately I can’t send him off as my older horse will be alone. I think I just need to a get a grip and tell him off.

 

[Casey76]

He sounds incredibly insecure and unsure of his place, rather than being ‘over confident’

 

[DabDab]

He needs boundaries. He doesn't sounds over confident at all, he sounds like he's desperately looking for the security of knowing where he stands.

From the way your post is written, your attitude towards him needs a bit of a shift. Just look at how much of your post you devote to wanting to love him, and various themes around guilt. Right now he doesn't need love or cuddles, he needs you to decide what the boundaries are, how you are going to reinforce what they are, and to stick to that patiently and resolutely without changing the goalposts. He needs security and consistency.

Good luck

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

You need to be his leader because it sounds like he doesn't actually have one at the moment, if you can't send him away I would get a good pro rider/instructor to come and help you with him a few times a week to get you on the right track with him under saddle, I think once you get to grips with that everything else will fall into place.

 

[Gloi]

Stop thinking of him as a rescue and start thinking of him as the young ill mannered thug that he is.

 

[PurBee]

He sounds similar to how my gelding behaved when that age. I was too soft. You said yourself you gently ask. I now see after the fact i was too soft. It took a while to learn the right firmness needed with him, the mare was easy, needing me to be soft.
That doesnt mean you need to bully him….being firm means holding a centred, firm energy within yourself. I ask at first - if ignored, i then increase pressure and ‘tell’ the horse what movement i want. I use a leadrope or a lungewhip In the space between me and horse. For example for him to step back - ask….no response, then swing into the space between me facing horse and him facing me the leadrope or lunge - see it as ‘pushing’ the horse in the direction you want using the aids, while using voice command words too…”back”. The rope and whip are not used on the horses body to force him. That’s only necessary when things are dangerous. Im talking about training groundwork sessions.

My gelding adopted this behaviour after being with a herd where he was bottom rung. The older mare he was very obedient with, respectful. With me he became a brat when he returned from that herd scenario. So he was just mimicking herd behaviour with me that he learnt from other horses, to try to dominate me, and elevate his bottom herd position and make me bottom of the herd.

Before lunging, do groundwork sessions where obedience is achieved. Then follow with lunging. Any horse tied to a ringed rope and being chased with a lungewhip will eventually lunge well but it doesnt mean the horse has respect for the handler. So i’d go back and achieve groundwork respect. Liberty training without lunge is useful too.

Age 6, if theyve not had a good firm consistent start - they can still be abit bolshy and bratty, so forget being gentle and loving with horses like this - of course you love them, but your demeanour needs to firm-up when handling him. I learnt slow and strady i was always too soft. I had to adopt a ‘masculinity’ energy within me, instead of ‘mothering nurturing’ type of mindset. All horses are different. The mare seizes up with firmness…gentle asking and coaxing works with her!
My gelding when 8 started to really have a much more mature brain than 6.

If you have an area you can have a lungewhip and it be you and him, and him free/liberty - start simply moving him around the area with your body pressure/lunge pressure if required. All horses do as told when headcollared, mostly. Gain control without anything and youll have brilliant control when headcollared. Dont forget timing is important - when he does as you ask immediately in that nano-second release pressure. Stop facing him , stop the lungewhip movement.

Go on youtube and look over groundwork training videos. Youll get lots of ideas. You said you did lots of desensitising him because he was so fearful, so forgive me if that included also lots of groundwork/handling respect work. It sounds like he would benefit from going back to that basic training level, respecting you - then progress to lunging again…and there should be improvement With lunging due to the refresher groundwork training.

Sometimes we have to start again with horses. My gelding had a lot of basic handling when he was a foal with me up to 6 months of age, went off to a herd, and came back a complete brat! Like he’d never been taught to be safe/respectful around humans. Biting/kicking, the whole 9 yards. So i started again - too soft at first, then firmed up my demeanour to suit his personality. He is very courageous….literally walks towards fire! So a puny woman weighing a 10th of him swirling a rope amused him lol! My demeanour had to become big and firm.
Now, all i have to do is look at his back end and he moves it. I’ve never had to apply a whip or rope to his body to achieve that obedience.

No contact Pressure/release work is what i used on him. After sessions, end on a good note, always. If he gets something wrong, or starts unravelling for whatever reason, return to a command he knows, and then he’ll ‘feel good’, end the session on that good note and he’ll ‘remember’ sessions to ‘be good/rewarding’ - then after session, when he’s returned to ‘chill out area’ (not in training area) give a treat/hay feed/whatever he likes. This seems to cement training is rewarding/feels good/ releasing of pressure.

Some use treats as theyre training but you could end up with a nippy horse, always wanting treat for complying with an ask. I tried with my gelding just the 1 session to see how it would work and he was mostly ontop of me the whole time, eyes wide, eager to comply - desperately wanting the next treat! It was exhausting and he wasnt learning, instead focus was soley on treats. He got more stressed, just wanting treats, and i then couldnt focus either as i spent more time just getting him to stand calmly and get him away from me. It might work for older chilled out horses, but didnt work for him!
I now only treat after a session of 15-30 mins, depending on horse concentration ability.
I’d only use treats if theres a really difficult issue, like lifting feet, in a mini-session - ask for something - horse complies, then treat. Ask again, complies - treat. Then walk away.

Dont be discouraged - sometimes we have to go a few steps back and repeat training…its better than rushing through and being on the back of a horse who’s still a brat! You’ll get there ?

 

[brighteyes]

Brat is the first word that sprang to mind and you yourself said disrespectful - but the respect I think is also trust-based. He hasn't got that from you and somewhere along the way you missed that door opening.

I second send him away but be prepared to have a reality check and your mindset altered as to who/what he is now vs should be (and hopefully will be) given a kind but dispassionate re-start.

They need some kind of leadership with a bit of discipline and correction no matter how sad a start in life.

Good luck and keep us abreast of developments.

 

[My_breadbagel]

Brat is the first word that sprang to mind and you yourself said disrespectful - but the respect I think is also trust-based. He hasn't got that from you and somewhere along the way you missed that door opening.

I second send him away but be prepared to have a reality check and your mindset altered as to who/what he is now vs should be (and hopefully will be) given a kind but dispassionate re-start.

They need some kind of leadership with a bit of discipline and correction no matter how sad a start in life.

Good luck and keep us abreast of developments.

I’m certain he trusts me- he will take reassurance from me and is easy to rug up/ apply sun cream/ etc all of which he wouldn’t let me do when he arrived. He can’t be sent away either as my other horse would be alone and that doesn’t solve anything. It’s something I clearly need to solve for it to be a long term solution.

 

[daydreamer]

If he can't be sent away then I would recommend subscribing to YourHorsemanship and working through the groundwork videos. He really should move back when you ask him to at the very least! I think if you are on a budget there is a bundle of videos for bargy horses rather than doing the full subscription. I'd agree you need to change your attitude towards him a bit. It is easy to have a good relationship with your horse when everything is easy but you need to work on the relationship when you are actually asking things of him.

 

[My_breadbagel]

He sounds similar to how my gelding behaved when that age. I was too soft. You said yourself you gently ask. I now see after the fact i was too soft. It took a while to learn the right firmness needed with him, the mare was easy, needing me to be soft.
That doesnt mean you need to bully him….being firm means holding a centred, firm energy within yourself. I ask at first - if ignored, i then increase pressure and ‘tell’ the horse what movement i want. I use a leadrope or a lungewhip In the space between me and horse. For example for him to step back - ask….no response, then swing into the space between me facing horse and him facing me the leadrope or lunge - see it as ‘pushing’ the horse in the direction you want using the aids, while using voice command words too…”back”. The rope and whip are not used on the horses body to force him. That’s only necessary when things are dangerous. Im talking about training groundwork sessions.

My gelding adopted this behaviour after being with a herd where he was bottom rung. The older mare he was very obedient with, respectful. With me he became a brat when he returned from that herd scenario. So he was just mimicking herd behaviour with me that he learnt from other horses, to try to dominate me, and elevate his bottom herd position and make me bottom of the herd.

Before lunging, do groundwork sessions where obedience is achieved. Then follow with lunging. Any horse tied to a ringed rope and being chased with a lungewhip will eventually lunge well but it doesnt mean the horse has respect for the handler. So i’d go back and achieve groundwork respect. Liberty training without lunge is useful too.

Age 6, if theyve not had a good firm consistent start - they can still be abit bolshy and bratty, so forget being gentle and loving with horses like this - of course you love them, but your demeanour needs to firm-up when handling him. I learnt slow and strady i was always too soft. I had to adopt a ‘masculinity’ energy within me, instead of ‘mothering nurturing’ type of mindset. All horses are different. The mare seizes up with firmness…gentle asking and coaxing works with her!
My gelding when 8 started to really have a much more mature brain than 6.

If you have an area you can have a lungewhip and it be you and him, and him free/liberty - start simply moving him around the area with your body pressure/lunge pressure if required. All horses do as told when headcollared, mostly. Gain control without anything and youll have brilliant control when headcollared. Dont forget timing is important - when he does as you ask immediately in that nano-second release pressure. Stop facing him , stop the lungewhip movement.

Go on youtube and look over groundwork training videos. Youll get lots of ideas. You said you did lots of desensitising him because he was so fearful, so forgive me if that included also lots of groundwork/handling respect work. It sounds like he would benefit from going back to that basic training level, respecting you - then progress to lunging again…and there should be improvement With lunging due to the refresher groundwork training.

Sometimes we have to start again with horses. My gelding had a lot of basic handling when he was a foal with me up to 6 months of age, went off to a herd, and came back a complete brat! Like he’d never been taught to be safe/respectful around humans. Biting/kicking, the whole 9 yards. So i started again - too soft at first, then firmed up my demeanour to suit his personality. He is very courageous….literally walks towards fire! So a puny woman weighing a 10th of him swirling a rope amused him lol! My demeanour had to become big and firm.
Now, all i have to do is look at his back end and he moves it. I’ve never had to apply a whip or rope to his body to achieve that obedience.

No contact Pressure/release work is what i used on him. After sessions, end on a good note, always. If he gets something wrong, or starts unravelling for whatever reason, return to a command he knows, and then he’ll ‘feel good’, end the session on that good note and he’ll ‘remember’ sessions to ‘be good/rewarding’ - then after session, when he’s returned to ‘chill out area’ (not in training area) give a treat/hay feed/whatever he likes. This seems to cement training is rewarding/feels good/ releasing of pressure.

Some use treats as theyre training but you could end up with a nippy horse, always wanting treat for complying with an ask. I tried with my gelding just the 1 session to see how it would work and he was mostly ontop of me the whole time, eyes wide, eager to comply - desperately wanting the next treat! It was exhausting and he wasnt learning, instead focus was soley on treats. He got more stressed, just wanting treats, and i then couldnt focus either as i spent more time just getting him to stand calmly and get him away from me. It might work for older chilled out horses, but didnt work for him!
I now only treat after a session of 15-30 mins, depending on horse concentration ability.
I’d only use treats if theres a really difficult issue, like lifting feet, in a mini-session - ask for something - horse complies, then treat. Ask again, complies - treat. Then walk away.

Dont be discouraged - sometimes we have to go a few steps back and repeat training…its better than rushing through and being on the back of a horse who’s still a brat! You’ll get there ?

Thanks for the advice, it’s really helpful seeing that someone else has solved the same issue that I have.

 

[Lipglosspukka]

I think you are reading the situation all wrong.

You keep saying 'he trusts me.'

He doesn't trust you. That's the problem. He doesn't believe you are in control at all.

Send him away. Your other horse will cope alone for a few weeks.

 

[Mrs. Jingle]

He probably isn't a very happy horse at all right now. He needs your leadership at a crucial point in his young life, and you are not giving him that. All the cuddles and kisses in the world will not help him now, or give him a good basic grounding for his secure future as a pleasant riding horse.

Do not feel guilty about coming down hard on him...feel guilty that you haven't when he most needs it for your safety and his long term security and well being. Having said that I do appreciate it is very, very difficult when you have taken on a rescued animal that has had a bad start in life to not spoil them. I have had a few rescues here myself and when you know their history the temptation is strong to just shower them with love and attention to 'make up' for the bad start they have had. That is ok to a certain point, but you MUST also demand and get respect and good manners not just for your safety but for the safety of others who might have to handle him at some point in the future.

I would second sending him away to a reputable breaking yard for further education, you are too close to the situation to turn it around at this point IMHO. Can you perhaps 'borrow' a retired pony to keep your other horse company until he returns? Or if that is really out of the question enlist the help of a good free lancer to come out to you to start him on the right path. You have recognised you have a problem with him and have stepped up to the plate by posting on here so you are obviously open to all suggestions to help sort this out. With the right help I am sure you can turn him around and hopefully have a very happy future with a nice well mannered horse. Good luck!

 

[southerncomfort]

Personally I'd forget about backing him for a bit.

Their are some holes in his education which I think, once you've addressed, will make him much easier back.

I think you need to go back a few steps, get a really good trainer (such as Richard Maxwell, Michael Peace, Jason Webb) to help you identify where the holes in his education are and get you handling him more confidently.

Rather than upsetting him or making him dislike you, he will develop a new found respect for you! ?

 

[Ample Prosecco]

It sounds like you are working really hard with your horse and a lot of your instincts are sound: it takes the time it takes, correct/ guide don't punish, build trust etc etc. But the trouble is I think that you are emotionally over involved and that you are therefore unintentionally training unwanted behaviour into the horse.

I agree with those saying you need a shift in perspective. A lot of what you say sounds like you are attributing emotions to learned behaviours: Horses don't have egos as we understand the word. Horse trainers use the word 'respect' to signify a set of behaviours they want to see that looks 'respectful' but actually I think that word leads to confusion if it is widened to include some sort of over-riding attitude a horse has (or does not have) towards his handlers. Horses do what works and I think 99% of what you are seeing is learned behaviour. Ie you are 'training' him to ignore you, to be demanding, to push on you and barge etc.

He is bargy because he can be because you are not enforcing your own boundaries. Horses don't 'respect' brick walls but they don't tend to run into them either! Also it sounds like you back off at any evasions such as him spinning at you on the lunge which unintentionally rewarded spinning via pressure/release. Him being difficult to be left behind means he has trained you to let him out first. Who is training who here? Scarlett is generally polite but she kicked the stable door when she arrived - presumably because she was fed first when she kicked to shut her up. It took me less than 10 minutes to stop her doing it by filling her net up in full view by the door and immediately disappearing with it the instant the first kick came and only reappearing when she had stopped again. Repeat about 10 times Job done. Nothing to do with respect, ego, not really even manners (though I short hand it that way) Just learned behaviour that I changed the outcomes of so it stopped it 'working' for her. So she dropped it. She probably still kicks for some handlers. Not because she respects me but because she has understood that it is ineffective with me, but still works with others. Similarly, if one of mine kicked up a fuss about the other being led out first, that would be my cue to leave the horse in till that behaviour stopped. He would soon learn that kicking off is a waste of his energy.

I think you need to stop looking for human explanations for his behaviour: babyish, insecure, untrusting, scared etc. Maybe some behaviour is fear driven but a lot of it sounds very much like it isn't, and actually what horses crave most of all is to know where they stand and what the rules are. So being firm, fair, consistent and clear with your own expectations actually calms horses anyway. Whereas constantly wondering if he is acting out of trauma just makes you an inconsistent handler which unnerves horses.

I would strongly advise you get a trainer out to do some groundwork with you to establish boundaries. If you let people know where in the country you are some people might be able to recommend trainers. I think you'd be interested in it and I think you would quickly discover a new set of tools that would greatly increase your effectiveness and safety. You already have the commitment and are clearly willing to put in the time so you could really benefit. Good luck.

 

[Equi]

He sounds incredibly insecure and unsure of his place, rather than being ‘over confident’

This.

 

[buddylove]

Have a look at Richard Maxwell, he does lots of tutorial videos that you can download, from the basics of backing up off pressure, to lunging and dealing with usual problems like moving away from the mounting block etc. All very sensible, common sense and easy to follow.

 

[Illusion100]

With bolshy horses, I tend to ask for something once and if ignored, use a sharp, swift correction.

I think I'd be another of "the stop being "nice" to him" principle just because he had a bad past.

Think some very firm but fair handling is in order. If you feel you can do that, then great! If not I'd look for some outside help.

Wishing you the best of luck.

 

[Coblover63]

Have a look at Steve Young Horsemanship on FB. If you scroll down to a video posted on the 14th of May, starting with the words "Rollercoaster of emotions".... This video deals with a horse that has been allowed to get bolshy and take charge. It might give you some ideas.

 

[Goldenstar]

He’s six unless he’s in group in a large field hes not going to getting nearly enough exercise or having enough to think about .
I would send him away for backing ASAP , it’s a job much easier done by someone who is not emotionally invested in the horse .

 

[Slightlyconfused]

He’s not a rescue any more. He is a fit, strong brat that needs to learn to grow up by the sounds of it.

You are probably a bit too close to him emotionally, I’d ship him off to a decent breakers for 8 weeks, you’ll likely get a lovely horse back at the end of it

This 10000%

Its why I don't back my own. They get sent off and I just do ground work and saddle rug and bitting teaching. And lots of in hand walks. I get too emotionally involved and worry about doing the wrong thing and then am not setting the correct boundaries etc.

The problem with people having "rescues" is it becomes an excuse for bad behaviour.

 

[Slightlyconfused]

I’m certain he trusts me- he will take reassurance from me and is easy to rug up/ apply sun cream/ etc all of which he wouldn’t let me do when he arrived. He can’t be sent away either as my other horse would be alone and that doesn’t solve anything. It’s something I clearly need to solve for it to be a long term solution.

Can you get a couple of shetlands from a charity? Then there is always a horse in the field when one goes out.

 

[asmp]

Just wanted to add that I hope (I’m sure you do) you wear a hat while leading him. Most of the horse related accidents I’ve heard about recently have been in the field. I would also recommend a Le Mieux control headcollar, which you can use as a normal one or with extra control when they’re being idiots.

stay safe.

 

[Cloball]

Thanks, that’s really helpful and good to know! I gets rid of the guilt knowing that

Unfortunately I can’t send him off as my older horse will be alone. I think I just need to a get a grip and tell him off.

Can you get someone out to you? At the very least I think you need someone to back up your decisions and give you confidence so you're not second guessing yourself. It is so difficult to be calm and consistent when you are so emotionally invested things quickly turn to frustration and anger rather than consistent boundary setting. A second professional set of eyes will help if you absolutely cannot send away.