Horse is the boss & frightening me.Help!!

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lyndagriffiths

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I have a 7 year old gelding who has definately decided that he is the top horse in our relationship. He is becoming more beligerent and threatening in stable and when ridden and I can feel myself losing confidence which means that he is correct in his thinking!! He has always had a bit of attitude but following some time off (tho still handled daily) he has become worse. I need some assistance in reestablishing our relationship. He cow kicks if he doesnt want you to do something (good aim as well) and is very threatening with his head and facial expressions. He plants himself if he doesnt want to go somewhere whether in hand or more extremely when ridden and has a range of rears and spins to boot. He is a very intelligent horse and talented in the dressage arena but I am dreading having to compete him again because I just dont trust him anymore. His teeth and back are done regularly and he has just had a new made to measure saddle to eliminate any pain issues. I am no novice in owning horses but this one is beyond my experience. I used to believe that no horse started the day with evil intent but think I may have one that is the exception and I just dont understand why and what I have done wrong. Recon I need to go back to basics in establishing our relationship and how to correct his disturbing threatening behaviour. Any ideas what I can read or where I can go for help? I am in Worcestershire.
 
You don't say if it is a new horse for you, or how you look after it. My suggestion would be for you to find a really good class livery yard run by professional staff and ask them to help you. When horses get above themselves, they usually just need confident, firm handling and a good routine in their life. The reason professionals have so few problems is that they have confidence that so many amateur owners lack.
 
I would find a good instructor/trainer that could hopefully come to you on a daily basis for a while to help. You need to go back to basics with him but it would give you more confidence to have the support of an experienced person to give you a good start, I would look in your local area ideally a recommendation from someone you know or trust as it will be important that you have the correct help now before it gets worse.
I would also cut out his feed, if he is getting any and just give him hay/grass for now.
 
BigRed said:
You don't say if it is a new horse for you, or how you look after it. My suggestion would be for you to find a really good class livery yard run by professional staff and ask them to help you. When horses get above themselves, they usually just need confident, firm handling and a good routine in their life. The reason professionals have so few problems is that they have confidence that so many amateur owners lack.
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This, in a nutshell.
 
I had real trouble with my late mare when I first got her. She was so defensive!! She was dangerous to handle and I was at my wits end. She scared the life out of me and I tried being firm but it made her retaliate more.
As a last last resort I got in contact with an intelligent horsemanship representative. I know people slate this sort of thing and say if you are firm but fair with your horse you shouldn't have problems but honestly this mare was so damn clever so ran rings round me!!! Conventional ways did not work with her. After having her legs swinging over my head for the umpteenth time I couldn't take any more.
The IH lady totally changed our relationship. Horses are only 'naughty' if they are scared, insecure or confused. There was no trust on either side between my mare and I and IH gave us trust. A lot of the things are common sense when you analyse it but it's funny how you forget what's obvious when dealing with a difficult horse.
I could write pages on what the lady showed me but I think it's best if you speak to them yourself.
There are representatives all over the country on their website (intelligent horsemanship). Honestly I went from scared of my horse with her rearing above my head and cantering round her stable bucking at me to vaulting on her bare back and riding to and from the field in a headcoller.
It didn't happen overnight but a couple sessions with the IH lady saved our relationship basically.
 
Get yourself a copy of Kelly Marks 'Perfect Manners' and 'Perfect Partners' and have a good read. I picked 'Perfect manners' up again last night to remind myself as I'm having a few issues with my big boy. It all makes perfect sense. A lot of it is in the head but obviously actions do re-inforce this.

One thing that I read last night that really struck a nerve was that we can find ourselves rushing around our horses to 'get him done' and not spend any quality time together - (grooming or just having scratchies or stroking him or whatever) which can put them on edge and make them worry. This morning I was concious that I changed my whole demenour around my horse, groomed him thoroughly but much less rushed and he was a lot more relaxed and apart from a few hiccups, more co-operative.

I would reccomend you find a NH Reccomended associate in your area to come out and help you too - just a few sessions should get you back on track and if you have the books to help you, you should be fine.

It sounds like your boy has become a bit frustrated with his recent time off so hopefully once he is back in action things will elliviate a little.

Don't Fret! You're not alone!!
 
poor you it sounds horrible.
firstly if I were you I would chat with your vet to discount anything health wise was his time off linked to a health problem? The other thing I would ask about is gastric ulcers now I was sectic about these until I saw with my own eyes the transformation of a horse when it's ulcers where treated it had been really bolsy to handle and ride and it was literally like it had been swopped for another that looked the same.
Then I would get help quickly before problems get any worse I would second the advice to get it to a professional preferably one who could help you with the riding from the ground as well as riding the horse themselves. If it is that perhaps he not the right horse for you pass him on to job that suits him better and find a horse with whom every morning is a joy that you can't wait to ride because that it what it should be like. Now I am not saying give up with out trying what I am trying to say get the right help get it now and don't let this ruin your enjoyment if the problem does not sort. good luck and post and let us know how you are getting on. I am older now and have been in this situation when I was younger and seen others go though it Good luck your post struck a cord with me as it could have been me 30 years ago.
 
thank you all for your input, it helps so much knowing that other people have had the same issues. A lot of what has been said is what I would say to someone else if they asked me, its just difficult to distance yourself from your on problems and look objectively! Will certainly take your advise and keep plugging on - with some expert help. thank you all again.
 
Find yourself a good trainer/ instructor who can help you define boundries of acceptable and safe behavior, whats going on now as youve pointed out yourself is dangerous for you both, and if not dealt with, will escalate.
My second horse came to me with this attitude, his m.o was rearing and boxing out, or twisting to kick you off the lead rope when walking.
I was fairly confident in dealing with him following I.H strategies,but just wanted someone really experienced to tell me, i was interperating it properly, i was told by a few folks to "get rid of him he was dangerous" but i thought he was just really nervous and reacted more from fear and was using his speed, strength and weight against me to flee if he felt under pressure.
What worked for me was getting Richard Maxwell out, he was fantastic, in the main we dealt with him as a loading problem which he was, but Max gave me all the confidence and tools to deal with him in all situations relating to this type of behaviour which he happily displayed rather than go on the box.
Id have to say, he was a different horse after my session with Max, yes he still chanced his mitt on occassion, but i had the tools and knowledge to close it down safely and remain firmly in control. He has been a lovely horse now for years, he is still spooky and nervous, but doesnt react as violently as he once did, he just scuttles forward now if he feels nervous or frightened
 
When I got my mare 15 years ago...she was sedated for the first mnth otherwise you couldnt do her and come out alive! She was defensive and aggressive and her motto was get you before you got her...at one stage I had her muzzled and someone holding her and sometimes holding a leg up just so I could change her rugs...it wasnt fun. she would go to bite you and also cow kick...you had to always watch both ends...one day she took a chunk out of my back but was so scared after doing it she leapt to the back of her stable and collapsed shaking.
I just perserved...whatever happend I went back the next day and did the same things all over again. We do believe she was severely traumatised at some time in her life but she is beautiful and I just didnt want to be someone else who let her down in her life.
I cried...I screamed but then i got to start to understand her and listen to her. Sounds strange but I adored her all the way through it all!! She had to learn to trust me...realise it was a nice place to be with me...that I would not muck about and confuse her or hurt her.
I learnt what is important to her - environment, routine, consistency...that is what you have to do...listen to your horse and find out what his triggers are. I had someone who helped me just at the point of thinking is this as good as it gets and she had started bucking when ridden and would just stop and refuse to do anything. So I took her for a holiday! We went to a friends yard...I just hacked her as much as i could and my friend would take her out ride and lead with her horse too. She changed overnight....literally! She was now in an outdoor box so she could see things whereas before she had been in an indoor box and had got depressed. we just hacked all the time whereas before we were doing lots of dressage and the hacking wasnt very good. The person who looked after her when i wasnt there just got on with it...no faffing around - simple basics - I was Mum and I said what went and what didnt.
I had to stand up to her...be consistent...walk away if she was bad...but always would go back the next day - clean sheet.
She still hates her rugs being done and threatens - I dont think she will ever like them! She can be moody but usually I can find out why...
I used to get someone just to stand in the school as pretend to give me a lesson as she was less likely to stop thatway. Kept her mind occupied with doing different things - long-reining, jumping, hacking, sponsored rides, gradually brought back in my dressage lessons. Had a teacher who helped me to oversome the bucking and pointed out to me what I was doing wrong. It took time and I doubt yours will be as tricky and lengthy but perservere and be firm and be yourself...your horse must learn it is up to you what happens even as simple things as moving over when you request it.
Good luck and do try to get someone knowledgeable to help you...not someone as sees him as a challenge as that will just cause more confrontation..time and patience are invaluable...!
 
firewell said:
The IH lady totally changed our relationship.......It didn't happen overnight but a couple sessions with the IH lady saved our relationship basically.
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Second this!!!

Get some help for your situation fast; you need someone who has got experience of "off the wall" horses and can work with you and your horse together.
 
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