Horse not helping regain my confidence

[Rupert2006]

I bought my first horse after a long break of owning my own horse - he is a 14 year old TB. I bought him last May. We have built up a good relationship, he is an angel to handle on the ground, albeit he was a bit nervous in the beginning, as was I - I hacked him out without any problems and he was always good in the school. However, recently he has become more on his toes - in the school he just wants to rush about and it took me a while to bring him back to me. Out hacking yesterday, the first time for a while, he was a total nightmare, spinning around and jogging practically all the way around. Now in my heart I know that he is a good horse - but he is making me realise that i think i have lost my confidence a bit - when I was shopping for horses, I got bolted with on this crazy horse and we nearly came a cropper and now all I can think about is that my horse is going to bolt with me. Although he has not really given me a reason to think he will - but the more he pisses about and throws tantrums the less and less i want to ride him. I know that probably he needs to be ridden more out hacking to solve the problem of him being a git - he naps before we go out - I spent ages the other day just trying to get him to move! I wonder if he is just scared? I am really confused and it feels like a vicious circle - I want to just be able to go out on a hack and relax - and maybe pop a few jumps in the school without having to control a nutter of a horse! I feel so much like giving up - I am not a crap rider but my confidence seems to have abandoned me and I feel really angry and disappointed with myself. I am thinking of selling him although I love him dearly - but I want a horse that will boost my confidence, not take it away. He seems to take a lot of his confidence from his rider - so are we on a losing thing here? Thanks for reading.

 

[the watcher]

There are a lot of things you can do to improve your confidence with this horse, ride out with company to start with, you can always peel off or go ahead. Are you having lessons together? sometimes just having somebody else with you on the ground can help..and also do lots of groundwork.

It maybe you just need to go back a couple of steps for both to get your confidence back

 

[AmyMay]

I don't think that this sounds like the horse for you. Personally I would sell him and get something more appropriate.

TB's are a particular type of horse - and they are not for everyone. If you can't laugh with him at his antics, then definately time to part company.

 

[ColleenIsh]

Sorry dont agree amy ...... Not yet anyways lol .... First of all check his tack, make sure all is well, does his saddle fit well ? is his bridle fitting ok ? ... Mkae he has no sore points , Take him into the school and work on your flatwork, forget hacking for now until you have got him listening to you and if that means getting a few lessons with some one, so they can see from the ground .


See how that goes first . xx

 

[Happy Bird]

I would try to stick with it a bit longer as you obviously think a lot of your horse. After checking back/teeth/saddle I would have a few lessons, always go out in company and choose your hacking companions wisely. The most placid horse can turn horror if hacked out with another excitable horse. I would also investigate diet - try reducing hard feed. Can you turn him out more ?? Lastly - a good friend of mine got over a confidence issue by going to a tapping therapist. Not everyone's cup of tea but it worked her for her.

 

[dieseldog]

Has anything changed how you look after him, less turnout etc? I would stop feeding him hard food and it will probably improve the situation. If he started off good something must have changed as Horses usually try it on when you first get them

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

I don't think you've reached the point where you need to sell him yet. It sounds like he needs some serious schooling. Our horse had similar tendencies when we had him. It was getting to the point where he was getting dangerous. He wasn't nasty he was full of energy, unbalanced, spooky etc. Like you we loved him dearly.

We got ourselves a quality instructor. He came & we went back to basics & he trained both horse & rider. Our lad is now very well schooled, he behaves himself, he's still got an edge but that will always be there, but he responds well to the aids & is now a total different horse. He does a nice dressage test & has a lovely jump.

There is no quick fix, it will take time, dedication & an good understanding instructor, but it can be done....it's down to you to decide?

 

[Happytohack]

Horses are nearly always more excitable in the winter - they are kept in more and fed more and exercised less. For a TB this can often mean a complete change in character! So don't despair. TBH, a TB is probably not a good choice for someone with little confidence but he is obviously basically a kind chap. Try to turn him out as much as possible, cut down his hard feed (I seem to remember you were thinking of feeding Simple System feeds) and give him ad lib hay (not haylage) and consider feeding a calmer. Hack him out with a quiet friend and try to keep him in walk. Once the better weather is here and he is turned out hopefully 24/7 you will find that he chills out again. The thing to remember with TBs is that the fitter they get, the better they feel!

 

[Rupert2006]

Thank you for all your replies. He is ridden in a bitless bridle (has a dodgy tooth, would need to be removed if wanted to rde in a bit again, cos dentist reckons it would always be catching as the gap is so small) and has a treeless saddle (yes, I am a hippy! heh heh) - his back was checked a couple of weeks ago and is fine. I think it is overexuberance and an eagerness to get home - I think he is a little nervous. He had no condition when I bought him and now has a bottom to be proud of and a belly to match- he is turned from about 10am to 5:30 pm everyday - he is a pig with his food, so after yesterdays performance I am going to cut it down and just make sure he has ad lib hay. I do feel bad for wanting to give up, cos a part of me knows it is going to take some work and I am a little afraid to be honest! I have been confining myself to the school as I feel safer and have been making some small progress - but it gets booked up really fast so yeserday I had no choice but to go out - and now my fear of hacking is even worse! I usually go out alone but I went out in company yesterday with a sound sensible little pony, but that didn't seem to make an iota of difference! *sigh* thanks forall your kind words

 

[Rupert2006]

yes, a TB probably wasn't the most sensible choice but I fell in love with him and at the time didn't realise my confidence had taken such a bad knock - before the bolting incident I would of ridden anything and galloped off into the horizon without a second thought! He was better in the summer, but had no condition. I do plan to ride him a lot more in the summer (yellow streak allowing) so hopefully it will all work out okay *crosses fingers* - it is just the fear factor that is bringing me down - feeling very sorry for myself today and am dreading the thought of riding him again. I do have a good instructor at my yard, so I will have to enlist her help and see if i makes a differende. I have never gone faster than walk out hacking either cos I am afraid of him bolting - saying that though I dd canter him out on a hack within weeks of owning him and he was fine! It all seems a bit backwards really! Thanks again everyone, wish me luck!

 

[AmyMay]

[ QUOTE ]
feeling very sorry for myself today and am dreading the thought of riding him again

[/ QUOTE ]
It's an awful situation to be in. But honestly - you've had this horse for 9 months, and should be pretty happy with anything he has to throw at you by now. Hence my earlier comments.

He sounds very much loved, and very well looked after (over feeding could be an issue).

But still stick by 'he's not for you. Sorry.

 

[tashyisaudrey]

I think explore all the above such as feeding etc, and if that doesn't make a difference I would consider sell. I know how you feel as I am going through the same process at the mo with my mare. I am giving it one last shot, but have been honest that it is the last try. Lessons are good though, because a good instructor will make riding him a positive experience for you.

good luck

 

[Magicmillbrook]

If you think it is your nerves transfering to the horse could you try to find someone else to hack him out a few times for you. My mare is normaly a gem to hack, however in the winter if she hasn't hacked for a while she often jogs a bit - its like she is saying 'come on mum, can we canter now pleeeease'. Perhaps someonew else would take the excitement of hacking out away from her. Also you could try schooling or lunging before you do a short hack to take the edge of him - good luck, let us know how it goes.

 

[Imonone]

Can I ask what a tapping therapist is please? Thanks

 

[Cathey]

This reminds me of exactly the situation that i was in with my 13 yr old TB last summer. i was coaxed into buying a horse that was bigger than i was happy with (1st horse, been sharing etc for years but nothing bigger than 15.2hh) because it was buy one my step dad could ride as well or not have a horse at all. and did he ride him?? fat chance. Anyway he was exactly what i wanted but i didnt feel completely confident on him all the time, mainly because he started bolting when jumping and getting a little too excited when out cantering. He too had his back and teeth checked every 6months, tack looked at etc and nothing was wrong. Because i didnt want to ride him i started riding 1-2 a week which only made him worse to the point where if he wasnt perfect on the yard id just put him straight back in the field. I loved this horse with all my heart and i feel like i let him down. I found out that he was passed from home to home and dealer to dealer through no fault of his own which made me feel even guilty-er. But after standing on the yard in tears i decided to sell him, after 2 years of a horse thats not right it gets you down. It was the best decision iv ever made. Iv now got a little gem who looks after me, has given me all my confidence back and is allowing me to do all the things that conrad was too strong to do. My advice is to sell him and find something that your happy with, if its anything like my situation its only likely to get worse.

 

[Rupert2006]

I am afraid of the situation getting worse. I have never been a nervous rider up until now - I was riding a horse for someone before I decided to get my own and I was never afraid on him, I used to hack for miles and go anywhere and gallop without a second thought - I trusted him instantly the first time I rode him. It was all different with my own horse - I don't really trust him and I feel like he doesn't trust me. My husband says that i should give it the full year (which will be May) but I am not sure. I feel guilty as well, as the woman i bought him from had only kept him for 4 months and the owner before that it was only 9 months, so he has been passed around. I am just not sure whether I have it in me to sort him out - if that is possible. I have wanted my own horse for SO long and it feels like a failure if i give up on the first one I buy!

 

[AmyMay]

[ QUOTE ]
I have wanted my own horse for SO long and it feels like a failure if i give up on the first one I buy!

[/ QUOTE ]
You should most definately not feel like a failure. There's nothing worse than getting on something you really don't want to ride.

Just put it down to experience. Believe me, there are horses I won't ride, and I don't feel like a failure for saying it. It's almost braver to admit defeat quite honestly.

 

[OWLIE185]

Sell him and buy a nice sensible laid back cob. Far more fun....... Why have the aggrovation?