Horse rude to strangers

[ScoobyDoo98]

Hi guys, looking for any tips from someone with a similar experience.
I've had my boy since 4 months old (rescue) and hes been a very smart but sensitive sort. Hes my first horse. Hes now 23 months old and really doing well with all things aside from the odd tantrum but these are getting less. My issue is that whenever someone he doesn't know tries to pet him, he pins his ears and can kick out/nip at them. They can walk behind him around him no problem(pulls a little face). Hes a ticklish horse, at first I thought he wasn't liking the soft feel of petting, but it seems to be any form of contact that isn't a firm scratch. Hes fine with me petting him (not excessively lightly, but he doesn't threaten, just becomes irritated.) I dont want him to be hostile to other people, hes with me for life but I can never know what lies ahead should he ever need to be sold. He is okay after getting to know people but generally doesn't want anything to do with strangers at all. Help! He's a lovely boy but nobody seems to believe me ?

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I wouldn't expect him to allow strangers to pet him. It drives me mad when randoms lean over our walls to try to stroke/feed the horses. I don't want them to be easy to catch by anyone who isn't meant to catch them.

 

[Arzada]

What are these strangers doing on the yard and why are you letting them pet him?

 

[ScoobyDoo98]

What are these strangers doing on the yard and why are you letting them pet him?

More specifically, it's a busy livery yard, and I'm friendly with most people. Naturally they come over to give him some fuss , but otherwise never interfere with him, usually when hes tied up for a groom.

 

[PurBee]

My gelding prefers a firm scratch and brushing than a light fuss/brushing. He also gets annoyed by light petting and will move away but is always up for a firm scratch!

 

[oldie48]

Goodness, he's a horse not a pet. Give him clear consistent boundaries and keep these people away from him. He should be out with a bunch of other horses being taught manners not being petted like a dog. Sorry I'm not normally rude but it's been a tough day!

 

[skint1]

My mare doesn't like people near the door of her stable and will go for them even if they're not bothering her in any way, strangely she has never done it to me or my daughter. Anyone can go in her stable and do anything with her, she is easy to handle in every way, you can tie her up outside, and she won't bat an eyelid at anything. I don't know why she does it. I never give her treats in her stable or over the door, and I don't think anyone else has either. I tell her off if I see her doing it and so does everyone else, in that moment she will withdraw but it doesn't deter her in the longer term.

 

[ScoobyDoo98]

Goodness, he's a horse not a pet. Give him clear consistent boundaries and keep these people away from him. He should be out with a bunch of other horses being taught manners not being petted like a dog. Sorry I'm not normally rude but it's been a tough day!

He is out with other horses and rarely has any interaction with anyone but me. As I said he is my first and just want the best future for him. He doesnt enjoy petting so I never do it,If I do want to show him affection I will scratch his thighs (he loves it) ?

 

[ScoobyDoo98]

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[ScoobyDoo98]

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[Arzada]

More specifically, it's a busy livery yard, and I'm friendly with most people. Naturally they come over to give him some fuss , but otherwise never interfere with him, usually when hes tied up for a groom.

OK, well on our yard we all respect the space of horses and people and no one touches another's horse. In other situations I have experienced random people coming up and 'petting' the horse including eg mid-mount, while I'm picking out feet etc. Rude ignorant and selfish. Tell them to leave your horse alone and don't leave it to your horse to tell them.

 

[ScoobyDoo98]

OK, well on our yard we all respect the space of horses and people and no one touches another's horse. In other situations I have experienced random people coming up and 'petting' the horse including eg mid-mount, while I'm picking out feet etc. Rude ignorant and selfish. Tell them to leave your horse alone and don't leave it to your horse to tell them.

That is sound advice. I guess I need to be a little braver around people.

 

[Rosie Round The Hills]

He is out with other horses and rarely has any interaction with anyone but me. As I said he is my first and just want the best future for him. He doesnt enjoy petting so I never do it,If I do want to show him affection I will scratch his thighs (he loves it) ?

Just to give you more conviction on your new stand - you said it yourself right here; he doesn’t enjoy petting. You are his principal human, it’s your job to give him a safe environment to grow up in. Be prepared to say No and mean it. People will ignore you and talk over you, and tell you that “he has to get used to it”. Tell them to respect your rules and get out of your goddamn horses space.

 

[be positive]

I am going to go against the general consensus and say that he does need to accept other people handling him and be confident to be touched all over, petting is a horrid term but if he is threatening someone handling him sensibly giving him a firm scratch or rub then it does need addressing as you never know what the future holds, a vet needs to be able to feel him all over in case of injury, having the horse overreact can be misleading and unhelpful, kicking out and nipping is not acceptable, if he is going to lead a useful life being ridden in the future he will have to accept people touching him all over without being irritable.
He needs to start by being less irritable with you, you may need to be a bit clearer with your own reading of the situation, if he starts to fidget or pulls grumpy faces do you continue doing whatever it is causing it or do you stop and leave him alone? if the latter he is training you to back off, you must keep going until he stops being grumpy then reward by stopping, other people probably approach, touch, see his reaction then rapidly withdraw so he is learning how to make people move and control them when people should be controlling him.

That said numerous people faffing around can be annoying so in a way he is not at fault but as he gets older if this escalates he could start to become nasty, difficult for professionals to deal with and may prove tricky when the time comes to start doing some real work, getting him happy and confident now will be worthwhile in the long run, some of the nicest horses I have had here are the ones that really like people, one or two that were not really interested were never as willing or confident to deal with or ride.

 

[Ambers Echo]

I agree with BP that he needs to be able to tolerate being handled by strangers but that is very different from expecting him to tolerate being randomly fussed/petted. Plus its something to teach not something you just expect to happen. He is a rescue so has good reason to be wary of strangers. But I try to be polite and consistent with all horses anyway.
Things like:
- ease into his personal space slowly dont just barge into it
- allow him to reach forward and touch the back of your hand before you touch him.
- move slowly and rhythmically around him.
- some trainers say horses like touch to be 'balanced ' so if you are grooming the neck then have another hand on the other side.

Ideally you dont trigger a negative reaction but if you do then ignore it but look out for signs of relaxation (dropping head, softening eye, blinking, relaxing ears) and at that point release all pressure and leave him alone. When strangers handle him have them do it exactly the same way.

Amber hates being fussed. I dont expect her to be affectionate but she has never nipped or kicked anyone. But God she was grumpy mare when she first came! She has improved hugely with just sensitive, polite handling.

 

[ihatework]

Thank god for BP.
I thought I was starting to go mad!
Life skills for horses include being handled by different people and accepting it. There is obviously a balance to be had, but on a livery yard situation I have no issue with people saying hello to my horses, although if I had a really tricky one I might stage manage it.
My young horse is suspicious & reactive of new people and I actively encourage people to interact with him!

 

[LadyGascoyne]

He sounds like he’s had a bit of an unusual start to life.

Has he been on a livery yard the whole time that you’ve had him?

If he were mine, I’d probably not be handling him like that yet. He’d probably still be out in a field with others his age, and living out 24/7. I’d check on them twice a day to see if all still had four legs and two eyes. Otherwise I’d leave them to it.

At 2-3 I’d start to do some grooming and sustained handling, and by 4 want them well-handled.

If he hasn’t had any space in his life where he hasn’t been actively handled, maybe he’d benefit from a break?

 

[Arzada]

I am going to go against the general consensus and say that he does need to accept other people handling him and be confident to be touched all over, petting is a horrid term but if he is threatening someone handling him sensibly giving him a firm scratch or rub then it does need addressing as you never know what the future holds, a vet needs to be able to feel him all over in case of injury, having the horse overreact can be misleading and unhelpful, kicking out and nipping is not acceptable, if he is going to lead a useful life being ridden in the future he will have to accept people touching him all over without being irritable.
He needs to start by being less irritable with you, you may need to be a bit clearer with your own reading of the situation, if he starts to fidget or pulls grumpy faces do you continue doing whatever it is causing it or do you stop and leave him alone? if the latter he is training you to back off, you must keep going until he stops being grumpy then reward by stopping, other people probably approach, touch, see his reaction then rapidly withdraw so he is learning how to make people move and control them when people should be controlling him.

That said numerous people faffing around can be annoying so in a way he is not at fault but as he gets older if this escalates he could start to become nasty, difficult for professionals to deal with and may prove tricky when the time comes to start doing some real work, getting him happy and confident now will be worthwhile in the long run, some of the nicest horses I have had here are the ones that really like people, one or two that were not really interested were never as willing or confident to deal with or ride.

I agree with all of this. As part of his training yes he does need to be handled by others. But OP says that other people randomly come and pet her horse while she is grooming him. Grooming and being with him is part of his training. When I'm with my horses I don't want people randomly coming up and interacting with them. It's my time with them. And yes they are perfectly fine with vets, farriers, other people handling them.

 

[planete]

Your horse is protecting himself from what he sees as rude behaviour. How does he behave if a stranger takes time to let him approach them and sniff them first, then approach an area of his body he is less defensive about? We expect a lot from our horses, we actually expect them to go against their instincts to accommodate us and they mostly learn to do so with habituation. Could you ask a few people who are experienced enough to read his body language and have knowledge of young horses to help you get him used to other people handling him? And try and keep the numpties away in the meantime (easier said than done I know)? They are actually likely to make him worse.

I bought a barely handled and newly castrated two year old years ago and had to be very careful that he was only handled by very experienced people for quite some time as all he knew was the rough and tumble of being turned out with other colts his age. This meant he treated people's actions as if they came from another horse which could be quite disconcerting: a hand extended towards a front leg would see him drop to his knees in an effort to thwart what to him was a potential grab form a sparring partner for instance. 19 years later he is now a dope on a rope with vets, farriers and grooms but still has bitten a small number of people throughout his life when they did not warn him of their intentions before touching him.

 

[Bellaboo18]

At his age I'd just be careful to not over handle him, IMO he should be out with horses of a similar age and left to be a horse. Once he's a bit older and doing more groundwork, I would expect him to allow people to happily pat him while he's tied up.

 

[dorsetladette]

Sounds like he's in his terrible 2s stage. They all try different things at the age. But it's important at that age to set clear rules so he understands what is acceptable and what isnt. Could you get the help of a professional who has experience working with youngsters? Just to help you get through this sticky patch, I think it would help you set him up for a good well mannered adult life.

 

[Leandy]

Really, I don't think you should treat him as a pet! He's going to grow up to be bigger and stronger than he is now and he needs to know how to behave himself. He does need to be able to be handled by others and to be good for a vet, the farrier etc etc. He needs to be socialised properly and carefully and taught boundaries. He certainly needs to allow people who are not you to handle him and to touch him. He does not need to be cuddly, and overpetting a young horse and letting it get too familiar with you and to boss people around (which is what he is doing here, whatever his reasons) is not a good thing. If he is sensitive and tickly and had a rough start in life, I suggest you get someone experienced to work with you and him on this. You shouldn't be allowing anything now that you wouldn't want in a fully grown horse or he will be very confused. It happens too often that people see fluffy foal, treat it like a teddy bear to be petted, taught tricks for treats, generally over fiddled with and then wonder why it starts to bite and doesn't understand boundaries and has no manners as it grow up.

 

[SpringArising]

What's with people getting iffy with other people touching their horse? I really like it when liveries come over and give my horse some fuss. I think it's nice that they care to show an interest.

I'm another who thinks the horse needs to learn how to be handled by strangers. He's a horse who's going to grow up big and dangerous if treated like a baby.