Horses and babies

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Patterdale

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How do people do it?

I'm quite a practical, can-do person but I'm massively struggling to do the horses with the baby, and wondering how others manage!?

Before I had him I was fairly certain he would just fit in with it all but it's not happening. Other people on here say they managed fine so I'm genuinely wondering how and looking for tips :)

He's a very easy baby but here are the problems -

- I can't turn out as it takes 5 mins each way to the field, I can't take him with me and don't want to leave him so how do you manage??

- it's cold outside and however well wrapped if I leave him in the pram he tends to wake up and start squawking

- I am completely failing to give both a horse and a baby my full attention.

- if I'm mucking out, sweeping or filling haynets I worry about the dust going in the pram

So how do you do it!?

:)
 
My friend carried the baby, as she turned out. Had the baby well wrapped up when outside, or asleep in the car. And horses were on holiday for the first couple of months (ie not ridden).
 
Thanks....I've heard other people carrying to turn out but the big horse is quite spooky and it wouldn't be safe.

I've just turfed him out and only bringing in on terrible nights but that's rubbish for his routine :(
 
Junior was born in April in gorgeous weather which made it a bit easier but TBH I gave up attempts at keeping horses competition fit after about 9 months. It just didn't work. Getting the bits done round the yard wasn't so difficult but getting to ride was. I used to park his pram outside the grey horses stable and he watched the big grey teddy!! This year (he is now 7!!!) is so much easier as he now rides so we ride together, easier to get beasties fit but am now spending my time running around pony club things rather than getting o compete my own horses! The years in between everything took 10 times as long due to junior 'helping'. Our stable yard is 10 feet away from the back door and turnout is 50 feet away so that made life easier. Can you not turn the horse out 24/7 and give yourself a break and time to enjoy your new baby?
 
Do you have to turn out and bring in? If not, turn him away for rest of winter. Routine or not horses get used to "new" routines very quickly.
 
Snowflakedale said:
Thanks....I've heard other people carrying to turn out but the big horse is quite spooky and it wouldn't be safe.

I've just turfed him out and only bringing in on terrible nights but that's rubbish for his routine :(
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he will cope, i think we all put too much stress on ourselves and each other to cope when we have young kids/babies. either pay someone to help out/get a part loaner/get someone to look after little one for an hour each day or chill out and let horse live out and be a horse till your life settles and becomes easier.

i wish i had been a bit more easy going when my kids were little as now i am still struggling to get a small part of my life back to myself and the kids are 14 and 16 next month
 
Turning out was easy, my mare is very trustworthy, so used to push pram & lead pony. Wouldn't do it with any other. Bringing in I would do the same. Accustoming pony to pram was easy too, I was on a biggish yard, so loads of volunteers to ride pony to/fro field while I walked alongside with pram. I also did lots of swopping favours. Eg I will plait your horse up if you watch baby while I run to the field while its throwing it down. I taught an 11yr old to clip by doing the lines first then letting her do mine. I did a chaser clip in exchange for someone emptying my barrow for the next 3wks. And so on. Mucking out or sweeping etc I just placed pram upwind or away from me.
No idea how but I used to time doing jobs when baby due a long nap, I found if I fed her loads, then wrapped her up well, she slept longer in the cold, then would wake for a massive feed when inside again.
 
I would turn out before OH left for work so didn't need to take her, and timed her afternoon nap in with bringing in so she slept in the car. If anything I found I had more time as she slept for ages!
 
Why not put an advert out for some help with the horse? When I was younger I hit the jackpot when a local woman was pregnant and needed help with her horses. In exchange for me doing all the work I was allowed to ride them 6 days a week. It was like a dream come true for me, and obviously helped her out loads too. I gained a lot of confidence in myself from being allowed to do all the care side of things on my own, and it was fab to be able to potter about riding on my own - not in a lesson - and I swear I learned a lot more from my own mistakes!

Worth considering, she warily floated around me till she knew I could be trusted haha but you just might make a young girls dream come true ;)
 
I used to leave mine sleep in the car that was visible from the stable, or put her in a pram with a rain cover over (to prevent dust spores).

What you have to accept is that maybe your horse time isn't going to be as it was prior to baby. Your horse won't mind, it's temporary and really is a fraction of the time you will own him. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Also, things may take longer, if you have to tend to baby, or you may have to rush if baby is fractious. As long as horse is fed/watered/turned out etc, don't sweat it!

I found it more difficult around the toddling ages, when you couldn't strap them in and keep them contained.
 
Mine are just outside too but across the yard and turnout is in the winter hill field hence the trek!

I turned one away all the time I was pregnant and he's 17 next year so worrying its too long a break for him at his age, as he's also got Cushings and arthritis in his hips/hocks. But I am just starting to think its really not feasible to be riding at the mo :(
OH is a farmer but very busy this time of year, we start lambing in 2 weeks so he really doesn't have time in daylight hours to watch the baby for an hour while I go play ponies! Which I totally understand.

Other pony is a sec d who's 4 and I want to get on and break him but no point while I can't guarantee giving him time every day.

It makes you feel like crap when other peoplesay they did everything just the same as before with no help because try as I might I just can't manage!

Like you say it will probably get better as he gets older :) as soon as he can walk he can go off with dad to stare at sheep!
 
Thanks for the replies!

I think it would def be easier on a yard! :)
Thanks for the suggestions of getting someone to help, might give this another go. I advertised for someone when I was pregnant but not even ONE reply!
Nice horse, I am an AI and would help/reach for nothing, happy to drive to shows etc, no money wanted. I would have loved a chance like that when I was younger! :D

I've got friends who are still hunting and everything after having babies in summer and say 'oh it's just easy, I just carry on as normal' but further probing usually reveals they have their mum round every day or something ;) :D
 
I think you may be putting too much pressure on yourself. Just because some can cope fine doesn't mean you absolutely have to do the same.

Your 17 yo sounds like he would thrive living out if it continues to be mild and your 4 yo would get more time to mature living out.

We had everything from a yearling to 35 yo living out all last year. I will do the same when my baby arrives. I don't think I could cope with a baby and a 2 yo stabled.

Be realistic.
 
My baby is a toddler now and it's much more difficult. Although he can keep himself fairly occupied with his ride on tractor, and 'mucking out' with his toy wheelbarrow and spade it's not too long before he gets bored and starts running about causing havoc, trying to climb up the horses legs to 'ride them' :eek: and generally being a toddler... there one minute, not the next, random meltdowns, I can't get a thing done because I never know what he might do next...

Really surprised you never got any replies for help when you were pregnant, did you advertise at local riding schools as well? There are always very competent helpers in riding schools, and you have the added bonus on asking the staff just how competent the really are ;)

Remember, baby won't be a baby for long, time really does fly - I can remember being pregnant like it was last week! And if you can't find help your horse will no doubt love having time out to just be a horse, he will still be there when you have more time :)
 
Instead of advertising can you ring round local riding schools & see if they know anyone? Even if you are back of beyond you could find two horseless teens who would love to help in exchange for lessons. Even if you have to collect & drop them off, its probably easier. Or could you take on a livery who could help out, either for reduced price livery or free lessons or something? And get yourself to some mum & baby groups, although I'm sure you wouldn't yet, if you make friends with some other local mums, by summer I'm sure you'd be able to find people who'd like to do some childcare swopping for a bit of free time.
 
How old is your baby? To be honest (as discussed in a recent thread about @having it all') I think it is really tough to do everything/ anything to the standard you did before. Either you make compromised with your baby (ie, leaving them for 10 mins in a pram unattended while your turn out, riding in the school while they are asleep next to school etc.) or you make compromises with your horse (ie, turn him away for a few months, get a sharer, only ride a couple of times a week) or more likely a combination of the both, unless you have a lot of local support from family or a lot of money to pay for horse help/ childcare - and even then you will feel guilty that your not doing it yourself!!
The great thing about our sport is there is no age limit, look at some of the olympic team or that guy in the dressage for Japan who was 70!!.

Try to take the pressure off yourself, a baby is a major change in lifestyle (no matter what other people will claim). There will be a way of making it work for you but there will be compromises.

I did things some people would be horrified at, when my son was asleep in his cot I'd go out and ride in the arena with the baby monitor on in my pocket. I recon I could jump off and run in and up the stairs in 2/3 mins so no different to being in the shower.

I also have to agree with someone above who said the time demands on you will get worse as he gets older, as a toddler they don't sleep nearly as much and want to be involved with everything and anything - you can't take your eyes off them for a minute. My son is currently sporting a lovely bruse where he pulled a five bar gate over on himself because I went to turn a tap off!
 
It is a nightmare once they get mobile, not so bad when they can be left in a pushchair. I had a saint of a mother-in-law which helped. I lunged my horse while Small was asleep in his cot, I had a baby monitor that I could hear outside if he woke up.
Mine was born in January so weather was dire, luckily my paddock was only round the corner from the stables so I could leave him. I would NEVER push a pram or carry a baby while turing out, its so not worth the risk.
Can you rug them up and turn them away until after lambing? The days will be lighter then and not so cold for smalls outside for hours. When Small is 2 you just buy a Shetland! Sorted.
 
Cross posted with Polos Mum!

I would add they are only small for such a short time, do try to enjoy it. Mine are now 18 and 12 and I am meals provider/ironing lady and taxi service.
 
Try a few ads in shops close to nearest high schools too, the ones crammed with teens after school. Although you'll get some dreamers, you might get some who have lessons further afield than local rs.
 
Three months is nearly no time, your body will still be recovering and you'll certainly still be adjusting and I'd guess you won't be getting a full nights sleep yet - don't underestimate the impact of lack of sleep on both your ability to do anything and your mood!

You just need to work out how to make your lifestyle work for you, experiment with different ideas (like those on this thread) and see which compromises you are happy with. I have a friend who put her son in full time nursery at 3 months old because she really didn't enjoy the baby bits, and I have other friends who've given up horses until their child went to school, and there must be 100's of different options inbetween these extremes.

My son seems to be confident and independent and while a lot I'm sure is to do with his personality I also believe some is due to the fact that he has always had to come with us/ wait for us to look after the animals as our animals (lots more than just the horses) are just as dependent on us for their wellbeing as he is - of course he comes first - but it is equal first!
 
It's easy when they're turned out or you're on a yard. But with true DIY it's not easy!
I've got one who has to be in each night, and has to be rugged to the eyeballs and freaks if his routine is broken. He CAN be lead with a pram but has been known to drag me and pram around the yard first :mad:

I've also got what I deem to be the most difficult toddler ever. I managed on DIY with toddlers before, but this one doesn't do staying in the pram or being quiet :rolleyes:

I poo pick daily with toddler screaming from the gate "pooo!!! I done POO!" then kicking off if I take more than one minute thirty seconds.

I'll second the rain cover, make sure baby's well fed and warm before you go out, and use plenty of toys. Use bedding that's quick and simple, and deep litter if you can. It's easier to get hubby to babysit for two hours twice a year than half an hour every day.

What I WILL say is it gets easier as they get older. Mine likes to play with rubber curry combs and I blackmail with "if you're good you can brush the horse".

I yearn for the day when I have my own place and I will PAY someone to just do morning stables for me! At the moment we have no turnout and husband's working loads so I'm a brilliant shade of exhausted and crabby. I've got to the point of laying in bed in the morning dreaming of selling the horses and having a normal life :(

But I know that come summer all will be good again. I hope ;) :D
 
my little one is 7 months and i manage fine completely on my own, i have no one about- but thats not to make you feel bad, i have probably a fairly unique set up which facilitates that. There is no way Id have managed turning out and bringing in over such a long distance, so my first question would be is there no way you can get access to a small paddock or something nearer your stable OR leave the horses out?

My stables and field are right outside my back door and I dont shut mine in at night, they are free to use the stables as a shelter if they want to but they arent kept in, so no mucking out. I had a hartstand area put in right outside the stables as well which i can pen them into as a t/o area if i want to keep them closer. I poo pick every day and do haynets etc and if the weather is decent he is in his pram with the raincover over. I make sure before I go out he is not wanting for anything, as in not hungry or needing changed and if he cries its not the end of the world. I check to make sure there is nothing wrong but there are times when you just have to get on with a job. Its a very personal parenting choice and very much each to their own, but as long as I know there is nothing wrong, i have no problem in letting him cry - he never cries for long. I also have a very reliable afternoon nap established and he always goes down for about a 3 hour sleep after his lunch so that tends to be when i get the horses and kennels done. I have a lieflat carrycot type carseat which is a godsend and i put him down in that for his nap. Then if I need to take him out with me I dont have to wake him, it clips on the pram frame or goes in the car. Hope that helps and dont beat yourself up as every baby and everyone's set up is different.
 
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