horses and life - bit of a rant...

[Peacelily]

hello all,

I'm going to have a bit of a rant but I thought it better to be heard by understanding ears than my OH who knows the front end from the back end but not much that fills the space in between...

Ok - so....
I took a job about a year and a half ago which was PERFECT - right area of expertise yardy yardy ya which was great and meant relocating. Thats not so much of a problem - my horse has moved around with me for most places I've been so I wasn't too worried. However amidst break up with the "then" boyfriend and sorting out places to live I had the handy option of keeping my horse on full livery through the week and I could return the 100 miles to ride her of a weekend. When I finally got relocated I still hadn't found anywhere for her to be stabled - taking into the fact I was still settling in at work - I wasn't too worried so I took the option to bite the bullet and let her go on loan to a handpicked person to live on the yard she was already on (the yard owner was brilliant - absolutly wonderful). So there she stayed and I got on with my new job. I continued looking for places but realised with work that from one week to the next I didn't know which part of the country I would be in and they seem intent on giving me about 2 days notice (not assuming that someone younger has "commitments" that they need to be able to accomodate for...) which meant on my search for livery it was going to have to be a mix of DIY, part and full with as much notice as is near nothing. Funnily enough I didn't (and as yet have not) found anywhere where I can do this (and still be in the black at the end of the month...seriously!!).
Anyway, I didn't worry, horse was fine, and I was languishing in the fact I didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn and had time to do my make up before work in a bathroom (and not in the rear view mirror before work and hoping I'd left the smell of horse at the yard and not in the clothes I'd just got changed into) and also the severly sought after "lie in" (i know - un heard of for most)....

I was fine for ooo 3 months?

I didn't think that I'd be affected so much by not having a horse to ride every day (and more than one horse also - where there's one there's always plenty around...), aswell as mucking out, pooh picking, putting a bed down (oh to put a bed down!!!!) but Oh my god I'm completely at a loss without it all!

I didin't realise how much peace it can bring to your whole world - even just the 1 hour when you school and you can think of nothing else but what you're doing and there's no more cares you can possibly have!!!

As well as this I've found the negative sides of not riding are piling up, notably - the exercise!!!! oh my god - my arms are now losing any form of tone, my stomach and thighs and bum - well - aren't really worth mentioning and it's such a fight to keep the weight off! However I thought "well i'm quite a dedicated person - i'll carry on with my running, that'll be fine" I got into running for antoher reason but whilst I was also riding constantly I really noticed the benefits - my sitting trot got amazingly stronger, my leg power was increased, my stability was sooo much improved and overall I was just tonnes better for it. So it was self purpetuating and I could run because it was better for my riding and it was a complete motivator. Since trying to do this but not having access to ride - my motivation is just useless. I do enjoy doing it but I think it's just not having the same impact....
Of a weekend I'm literally lost as to what to do - what do people do that don't have horses I used to ask myself. Well, so far the list is gardening (in my rented house), reading, thinking about horses, looking at horse stuff on the internet, thinking of ways I can ride, continually looking for livery yards, oh and washing/cleaning ironing just gets done at "normal times" and not late of an evening or very early in the morning...funny that!

I'm trying to network in the area to ride for other people but find that the response rate to any sort of advert is nil (thats when you take out the crazy people that seem to be drawn to me...eeek!) and it's not helped by the fact that every now and then I'm away with work for a week or so which is still pretty erratic. And paying for lessons - well, i've done it a few times but it's really irksome to pay £30 for half an hour on a school horse which is actually benefiting from me riding it and the "instructor" just tell me movements to do and me doing them (ok - so maybe it wasn't the greatest place to go - but finding that most quality instructors are freelance and so expect you to have your own horse)

and back to my horse - I've changed the person she's loaned to and she's doing very well - which is absolutly brilliant - but I never thought I'd be jealous of someone riding my own horse... *sniffle sniffle sob sob*

i'm now in that mood of sod the career (or words to that effect) I just want to be able to ride and y'know, do stuff with horses.....


Has anyone else found it such an impact having horses sharply removed from their lives? And if so what did you do? And to those who do have their neddies close - can you imagine what you'd be like with having them there?

(ps. thanks for the rant, I feeling a bit better now)

 

[brighthair]

yes. My boy was PTS and I quit. I mean, completely, I wouldn't look at a horse, wouldn't ride, no interest whatsoever. Until driving back from the gym, a girl hacked past on a stunning grey. I drove home, cried for eveything I had lost and put an advert on a share site
I ended up with 2 horses to share, sadly they both went out on full loan but I stayed at the yard. Now I teach Pony Club, ride any of the school horses, help with the liveries and the YO horses
I can't believe I missed out for so long.
Where are you based?

 

[teddyt]

.... and breathe....

Sometimes when the electric fencing gets tangled just by looking at it or its sideways rain and im trying to trek across a field with a wheelbarrow of hay i think it would be lovely to have a 9-5 job and no horses. But i honestly couldnt be without them. I feel for you.
How about finding a local rescue centre that might need some help? Or a competition yard?

 

[MrsMozart]

Well, as she's new, I won't mention the lack of choccies/wine/cookies/hot choccies one would normally get at the end of such an essay

.

But seriously folks, I don't know what your career is, but having worked with horses, and then having a career I didn't enjoy but which allowed me to buy and keep horses, you have to decide which is most important to you. Horse alone will mean poor pay and poor hours. Career will mean money to pay for horses, and to have a bit of a life other than horses.

Whereabouts in the country are you? Someone on here must know decent places to ride. The other option is, get a part-time groom or a sharer and get your own horse close to you.

 

[quirky]

I sold my first pony as he was a bit of a handful and the fun of riding him had gone. I sold him to a younger lad on the yard I was on at the time.
As far as I was concerned, that was it, no more horses, I was giving up.
6 months later, I started having lessons. The first time I went back down my old yard, the YO persuaded me to buy a youngster from her.
That was that. So, for the last 23 years, I have only had 6 months without having a horse.
I love my horse time. As much as I love my kids, I like nothing more than to go down the yard in the evening and muck out/ride/groom etc.

 

[Chico Mio]

Yes I understand completely. We moved from one end of the country to the other last year and, due to an accident, I had to leave my lovely boy 1000km away. From having to feed him 5 times a day (starting at 6.30am!), riding every night, just doing all those grooming, cleaning out things to nothing at all was Hell. Plus we were living in rented accomodation, all my horsey stuff was crammed in boxes and crates and being stored on a pig farm miles away, I had no access to the computer to look at all my piccies and chat to my horsey mates. I didn't even have the comfort of knowing he was well and happy with a loan owner, I felt awful for leaving him. I think people who aren't into horses don't understand how they can be such an integral part of your life and existence and how much you miss them when they are not there.

 

[Amaretto]

Can understand. Lost beautiful boy in Sept last year and completely fell out with horses, never wanted one again because I was sooo devastated.

Chucked myself at my career - did really well out of it, got pi55ed a lot, did loads of shopping, had lie ins and didn't want to ride other people's horses (I was offered loads).

But, put weight on, lost fitness, missed the social aspects of having a horse, missed training for a competition and having a goal, only got fresh air when walking the dog - really missed the routine. So it wasn't just the horse I missed but everything else that goes with it. I went for 4 months without a horse.

Anyway, I now have a youngster who is fab - has taken me a while to 'like' him, as I miss my old horse too much, but he is slowly growing on me. Yesterday evening, I went down the field to catch him at 9.30pm and he was grazing quietly in the warm weather, snorting happily, and I looked at him and realised I was actually quite happy - and it's because I have a horse!

 

[tasel]

Oh, how I know what this must feel like.

Yes, I previously had a job where they assumed just because you haven't hit your 35th birthday yet and had no kids, you had ZERO responsibility... Me having responsibility (with OH, horse and living outside of London) was something certain managers did not like.

Back then, I could afford full livery which made things better.

As to what people do without a horse on a weekend - I used to live in London just 18 months ago, and everything was about socialising. Now, I wouldn't change it for the world having a horse.

 

[Annagain]

Yes I know exactly how you feel, when I lost my old boy I wanted nothing to do with horses, told myself they cost a fortune, made you cold and wet, injured you and then broke your heart by dying on you..... Three weeks of watching Neighbours, Home and Away and other rubbish like Hollyoaks when I got in from work and I was looking for another one! What do people without horses do between 5.30 and 7.30 every night? I can't find anything worthwhile.
Horses are the only things that make me totally forget about everything else and focus purely on what is happening there and then. I've tried other things like running, the gym, swimming but my mind always wanders to work or how much housework I've got to do. My boy is lame at the moment - nothing serious but having field rest and bute for 10 days and after just 3 days of it I'm bored silly!

 

[Peacelily]

lol MrsMozart - I've actually just drank the biggest fattest hot chocolate with too many teaspoons of the powder AND marshmallows! Ok feel a bit ill but better for it! and please to hear that others find the same thing - isn't it funny how you just wrap yourself up in a little bubble....

I'm based in Cambridge hence the post re stage 4 training in the careers/education forum and I thought it would be a good way to try and get a goal to work for and to try and help the networking (instead of just chasing internet seaches to dead ends!)

I'm really glad and thankful of my OH who does see how important it is for me to have them and has offered to help me try and get what I want and to also not stand in the way of doing it..
and doesn't mind me being grumpy for no apparent reason...


At the moment I'm in the career thing and trying to think of ingenious ways to combine being paid and doing it with horses....riding (crossed off) livery yard (crossed off) yard manager (crossed off) therapy yard (squiggled through - if there were the money...) training/comp yard (squiggled through - same as before...). I must admit my work does involve horses but not really - if that makes sense?? I might try a poll to see what everyone else on here does and how many horses they have/hour a day they manage to spend with their beloved beasts.

ahhh thanks guys - i feel so much better...vodka and tonic anyone??

 

[lauraandjack]

Horses definitely get into your blood. I rode with my mum and dad's next door neighbour as a kid, went away to college and managed to land myself a job as a part time groom for a guy I started out helping out with event horses. Moved to deepest darkest Wales where everyone breeds ponies but few actually have riding horses. Missed it so much I had a disasterous loan horse (psycho owner, who suddenly without good reason decided she wanted him back, fetched him the next day and sold him 6 weeks later!). I was without a horse for 6 months, wasn't actually looking for one but aforementioned neighbour found him, now I have a delightful ginger beastie who will not be sold, he is here for life whatever it takes!

 

[pottamus]

My view is that I go out to work in order to fund the things I like to do/have outside of work...not the other way around. Work is a means to an end and allows me to have a horse and do everything I enjoy. I had to give up my horse when I lived at home at the age of 18 years and waited until I was 28 years old to be able to afford and be in the right position to have a horse again. I missed it terribly in between but it was well worth the wait and I would not let anything stop me from having my horse now...especially not WORK!!

 

[gnubee]

Couple of ideas:
- does your job HAVE to ship you around with no notice, or do they just think they can. 90% of my short-notice away jobs are in the second category, and if you lay down expectations with your bosses about it, these things can often be worked around (yes they may be happier about giving notice to people with kids, but if you are upfront about your commitments a lot of it can be sorted)
- do you have any horsey friends in the area who would do the horse for you at short notice whilst you are away? If not, go to the riding stables and make friends with some of the people who dont have their own.
- Do you have times at work when you are unlikely to be sent away? You could get her at a DIY/part livery at one of those times so you get to make friends with the neighbours, and can build up some favours with other liveries so they will do your feeding, turnout etc. whilst you are away.
- If you really cant get her living with you, find a decent stables. There must be some, even if they are more expensive (or very cheap with not very exciting horses). If you genuinely cant find one good enough or cheap enough that you dont care its no good, how about taking up a new horsey discipline (western or polo or sidesaddle or something) where you will be less aware of how good the quality is.
- look at all the away work you do as an opportunity to get some really good lessons. You must sometimes be working in the vicinity of one of those lovely shiny stables where people actually pay for lessons rather than just the opportunity to ride, and its like a way for work to compensate for all the bad kind of interfering in your life that it does.