Horses in your life without riding commitment conundrum

[Tronk]

A question for the greats minds of this forum!

I very sadly had to PTS my two horses last week, one my golden oldie horse of a lifetime who's time had come, the other equally lovely but much younger and no longer field sound with DDFT injury. Absolutely heartbroken losing not just one but both my beautiful boys. The right decision for both but that is no consolation at the moment.

The reason for the post is that I am lucky enough to have lovely horsey facilities at home and suddenly having no horses is not only unbearably sad but just feels wrong and as though a part of my life has died along with them. Of course lovely friends have offered me to ride theirs if I wish etc but it is just not the same as your own. My problem is I'm not sure that I can bear to go through the heart ache of ownership again (the younger one is the second horse I've had pts before their time because of injury), I also don't know if I am 'keen' enough anymore on the riding part. I feel I've done the things I want to do on horseback e.g. hunting, (low level) eventing etc., so even if I had a fit 'ready to go' horse I'm not sure what I'd actually want to do with it! I love having lessons but not sure I want the commitment of riding 6 days a week. Whereas I don't mind at all the commitment of looking after them 7 days a week and love the horsey way of life! In an ideal world one of my children would be heavily into horses as I'd love doing all the grooming, mucking out, driving, helping at competitions, helping to keep the horse fit (without it being solely my responsibility) etc - but that is not the case (they're into sensible hobbies like hockey!).

So my question to you all is what are my options of the horsey life, horses of some sort at home but without the every day riding commitment? I've thought about offering some sort of livery but not sure that is the answer. Is there a way of owning/having a horse, looking after it and someone else riding/competing it? If so, how would I go about that??

I know time is a healer and probably the answer will come to me at some point but I wondered if anyone could suggest a solution or some options to consider, thank you.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I'm sorry for your loss.
Would you feel happy to offer a home to youngsters from a charity, knowing that they would rehome them later as riding horses? Or how do you feel about offering retirement livery?
In both cases you would have the day to day involvement but the slight emotional removal of knowing that ultimately any big decisions would not be for you to make

 

[Tronk]

I'm sorry for your loss.
Would you feel happy to offer a home to youngsters from a charity, knowing that they would rehome them later as riding horses? Or how do you feel about offering retirement livery?
In both cases you would have the day to day involvement but the slight emotional removal of knowing that ultimately any big decisions would not be for you to make

Thank you - both great ideas and you've hit the nail on the head about day to day horsey life but without the ultimate responsibility. I will look into both, thanks.

 

[Alibear]

There's no law saying you have to ride the horses you own. What about just having a couple of nice gentle field ornaments instead? The charities would love you, or you can go buy something that suits you and your setup?
If the care is not quite fulfilling enough you can always do a bit of ground world/ agility/ liberty work.

 

[sbloom]

So my question to you all is what are my options of the horsey life, horses of some sort at home but without the every day riding commitment? I've thought about offering some sort of livery but not sure that is the answer. Is there a way of owning/having a horse, looking after it and someone else riding/competing it? If so, how would I go about that??

Ask around, local competition riders, trainers etc. But how about just having horses that need a home, of whatever kind, and do groundwork? There are so many options, even up to competitive (Le Trec, Horse Agility) but there is so much amazing, connection and biomechanical type work, several programmes I bang on about. They're beyond beneficial for the horse, but they rely on so much more connection that most of us have with our horses, that they're unbelievably fulfilling for the handler too.

 

[milliepops]

I'm sorry for your loss.
Would you feel happy to offer a home to youngsters from a charity, knowing that they would rehome them later as riding horses? Or how do you feel about offering retirement livery?
In both cases you would have the day to day involvement but the slight emotional removal of knowing that ultimately any big decisions would not be for you to make

these things both occurred to me, too.
I get as much pleasure out of my field potatoes at home as the ridden horse at the yard. it's nice hanging out with them and watching them interact together, and both these options would give you some of the horsey contact without long term commitments while you sort your long term feelings out.

 

[Goldenstar]

I think fostering youngsters from a charity is something you would really enjoy ,
yes they would leave you at some point but the reward of watching them being ready to lead a good life after a horrid start would be huge .
If you feel totally in love with one their would nothing stopping you making your place it’s forever home .

 

[Tronk]

There's no law saying you have to ride the horses you own. What about just having a couple of nice gentle field ornaments instead? The charities would love you, or you can go buy something that suits you and your setup?
If the care is not quite fulfilling enough you can always do a bit of ground world/ agility/ liberty work.

Lol I know, it's just how it's always been so difficult to think differently. Good suggestion thank you

 

[catembi]

Someone I knew got into littlies and started showing Shetlands? She might have bred some too.

 

[Tronk]

Ask around, local competition riders, trainers etc. But how about just having horses that need a home, of whatever kind, and do groundwork? There are so many options, even up to competitive (Le Trec, Horse Agility) but there is so much amazing, connection and biomechanical type work, several programmes I bang on about. They're beyond beneficial for the horse, but they rely on so much more connection that most of us have with our horses, that they're unbelievably fulfilling for the handler too.

Thank you - yes good idea to ask around. And hadn't considered the groundwork option - I've got a lovely arena and it's just been so wasted recently with my horses out of action - I will look into that.

 

[HollyWoozle]

We have 5 horses and ponies at the family home and none of them really do anything but it's just nice to have them and give them what we believe is a good home. I think you've had some great suggestions above, for example rehoming youngsters from a charity, getting some littlies to show and have fun with or taking on some field ornament types. I'm sorry for your losses and applaud you for making a tough decision for your boys.

 

[Tronk]

these things both occurred to me, too.
I get as much pleasure out of my field potatoes at home as the ridden horse at the yard. it's nice hanging out with them and watching them interact together, and both these options would give you some of the horsey contact without long term commitments while you sort your long term feelings out.

Thank you - it's just about changing the thought pattern as so used to buying/owning horses that 'need' riding - I can definitely see the attraction of having the horses without the nagging guilt that I ought to be out riding!

 

[Tronk]

I think fostering youngsters from a charity is something you would really enjoy ,
yes they would leave you at some point but the reward of watching them being ready to lead a good life after a horrid start would be huge .
If you feel totally in love with one their would nothing stopping you making your place it’s forever home .

Thank you - sound absolutely ideal, will look into this.

 

[Spotherisk]

I knew someone who bought weanlings and enjoyed showing them. Once they’d finished their three year old season she sold them on.

in your situation I would contact charities though, and enjoy a couple of theirs whilst knowing that if you do ever want to give up horses for good you can without having to sell.

And I’m very sorry for your heart breaking loss.

 

[sbloom]

How about making a track system and providing a very WELL needed form of livery? There's tons of help out there from people like Abbots View and Gawsworth liveries who've built their own comprehensive track systems. So many approaches that can help "horsekind" while bringing you what you're looking for. If you let me have an email address by PM I can send you the list of groundwork programmes I send to all my customers.

 

[Tronk]

Someone I knew got into littlies and started showing Shetlands? She might have bred some too.

Lovely idea, will have a think about that too, thank you.

 

[Tronk]

I knew someone who bought weanlings and enjoyed showing them. Once they’d finished their three year old season she sold them on.

in your situation I would contact charities though, and enjoy a couple of theirs whilst knowing that if you do ever want to give up horses for good you can without having to sell.

And I’m very sorry for your heart breaking loss.

Thank you - god it's been absolutely horrific, I just can't even look out of the window to see the empty field.
The weanlings idea is a lovely one - another to look into, thank you.

 

[Tronk]

How about making a track system and providing a very WELL needed form of livery? There's tons of help out there from people like Abbots View and Gawsworth liveries who've built their own comprehensive track systems. So many approaches that can help "horsekind" while bringing you what you're looking for. If you let me have an email address by PM I can send you the list of groundwork programmes I send to all my customers.

That too sounds like a great idea - a project to get stuck into - I'll have a look at the websites. I'll PM you, thank you.

 

[Tronk]

We have 5 horses and ponies at the family home and none of them really do anything but it's just nice to have them and give them what we believe is a good home. I think you've had some great suggestions above, for example rehoming youngsters from a charity, getting some littlies to show and have fun with or taking on some field ornament types. I'm sorry for your losses and applaud you for making a tough decision for your boys.

Thank you - it's just been awful but the right decision for both.
Your set up sounds lovely and I bet your horses have a lovely life. As you say, some great suggestions that I will look into - great food for thought.

 

[reynold]

I lost both my oldies a couple of months apart (they didn't live together) in 2019. Like you I'd had horses all my life and I lasted 3 months after the 2nd one was pts before I decided that I couldn't manage without a horse.

Being retired and not in very good health I took on a welsh pony from whw that isn't a ridden pony. She is at livery as I can no longer do the heavy work of caring for a horse but is groomed daily for an hour and does join up work in the school every now and again.

For me it's like having foals around again teaching her to have a rug on, fly mask, being groomed and having feet picked out.

She has a happy life and is very much loved but I can rest easy that if anything happens to me she will be taken back by whw and placed in another good home and hope that the work I have put into her will make it easy for her to find another home when my health deteriorates.

With the cost of living going up I can not really afford her on my pension but she is staying no matter what else I have to cut back on at home. Without her I'd just be sitting indoors watching too much daytime tv an waiting to die. The social life of being at a small yard with one or two other people is keeping me happy.

Horses are so important to me (and I love the dogs at the stables as well now I can no longer have one of my own in case my health gets worse) and caring for Sherry and just having a cup of tea with others every day is the focus of my life now.

Go for a charity horse as they will pay you back in their affection after their poor start in life.

 

[throwaway2022]

How about making a track system and providing a very WELL needed form of livery? There's tons of help out there from people like Abbots View and Gawsworth liveries who've built their own comprehensive track systems. So many approaches that can help "horsekind" while bringing you what you're looking for. If you let me have an email address by PM I can send you the list of groundwork programmes I send to all my customers.

Could I be cheeky and get a copy please? Looking for fun things to do with my daughter’s pony now I don’t have my own ridden.

 

[throwaway2022]

Someone I knew got into littlies and started showing Shetlands? She might have bred some too.

I was going to suggest a couple of shetlands too. A couple of weanlings would be amazing fun, plus they’re cute and will certainly keep you on your toes!

So sorry to hear what a rough time you’ve had, I can’t even imagine.

 

[Wizpop]

Nothing to add to the above, great suggestions but I just want to say that I really feel for you in your current situation. Maybe out of this sadness will come new opportunities.

 

[holeymoley]

I think this has been suggested above but what about rehoming from a charity? There are lots out there that are companions only and would be grateful for the kind of home you could give them. There's also youngsters at these types of places too who may be suitable to break in in the future if you were inclined to get the bug back.

 

[Tronk]

I was going to suggest a couple of shetlands too. A couple of weanlings would be amazing fun, plus they’re cute and will certainly keep you on your toes!

So sorry to hear what a rough time you’ve had, I can’t even imagine.

Thank you - yes I'm liking the idea of the weanlings too. Not sure about the shetlands - I've just had a quick look on a few charity websites and all the shetlands sound naughty lol!!

 

[Tronk]

Nothing to add to the above, great suggestions but I just want to say that I really feel for you in your current situation. Maybe out of this sadness will come new opportunities.

Thank you, it was the hardest thing I've ever done but I was so lucky to have them. This thread has already cheered me up greatly - hopefully I'll find a way to get horses back in my life.

 

[Spotherisk]

Something to just bear in mind… if possible it might be easier on you to not get horses the same colour as your passed ones. It can be a terrible jolt. Of course it’s not always possible to avoid but worth consideration.

 

[throwawayaccount]

my mare is a retired lawnmower at 11, she is my best friend in the entire world and deserves to live her life being a horse, something i'll support 100%- will do anything to keep her as comfortable as she can be, for as long as can be. its nice to have her around, she's an emotional support animal in some ways. not sure where i'd be without her

 

[sbloom]

Could I be cheeky and get a copy please? Looking for fun things to do with my daughter’s pony now I don’t have my own ridden.

Like I said I need an email address by PM and then I'll do it happily!

 

[Laurac13]

I’m very Sorry for your loss.
Just a random idea which I’ve thought of myself in the past. How about getting a couple of rare breed horses eg Suffolk punch mares and breed to help with the low numbers. Send them to an experienced stud when they are due to give birth then bring them back with their babies afterwards. Obviously breeding has its own risks but there are a few breeds needing preserving. X