Horsey Friendships

[Ample Prosecco]

Following on from the Do horses love you thread, I am curious about equine friendships.

Some horses connect immediately and become firm friends. Others hate each other on sight. I had to move Amber to a different barn on the yard because a new horse moved on and she just could not stand her. They were not turned out together so there were no resource issues at play. She just took one look at her and it was instant antipathy! That was the only horse she reacted like that to.

On the other hand, pair bonds can last years. Dolly and Jenny were great friends and we ran into Jenny at Somerford randomly one day. They clearly recognised each other and were whickering away to each other.

I have some understanding of herd dynamics relating to factors like herd leaders and pecking order scraps. But on what basis do horses select friends and enemies when there are no survival instincts involved.

 

[Bernster]

I’ve read that horses seem to remember their equine friends years after.

Finnegan seems very independent and not fussed about who he is with. I’ve not seen him get particularly attached to any horse, or person - inc me! Bertie has gotten very attached to his neighbour in the stable, a bit too clingy tbh but I’m hoping that’s due to him being unsettled and in a new home.

But yes, there are def horses who take to each other and seem more attached but in most situations they’re limited as to who they interact with. F is in a herd of 2, B a herd of 4, so not many friends to choose from!

 

[Roxylola]

Charlie "likes" most other horses. He is turned out in a big mixed herd but he is often hanging out with his "brothers" - owners other 2 ponies, or his field wife. In winter we have a little turnout paddock and while his "brother" was ill with at the time undiagnosed asthma we couldn't put him and Charlie in with any other horses as Charlie went in to full attack mode. It was honestly quite horrifying, he's not been that way before or since so we think he was being protective. Individually he was very sociable though.
He chats to other horses he likes - at a clinic on Monday he was whiffling to himself the whole time his field wife was jumping round.

 

[mini_b]

I’m lucky in that my horse can go with anyone and get on. He is tolerant of babies and kind to oldies. he doesn’t form dramatic bonds that I can’t get him away from.
he is very secure in his attachments.
can also be left without his friend if others are nearby.

he is the friendliest horse I have ever met (with other equines) loves to stop and chat to everyone.
very well behaved when we are out with strangers but at home he must say hello and goodbye to everyone.

he did once take me to say hello to a herd of cows...

 

[milliepops]

I have some horses that are like the popular kids who make friends easily, Salty is one of those and she is just one of life's easy integraters, she slips into any group and gets on with others well. I am not sure she makes lasting bonds though, she's a happy go lucky type. It will be interesting to see what happens when she meets her foal again.

Darcy is a bit like that too, he makes surface pals with anything he's turned out next to and seems pretty easy going in that regard.

Kira. Oh Kira. Kira pair bonds with others, I can swap her pair bond in about 3 days though when I need to . it's less like a friendship and more like a security blanket, she's been paired onto 3 of mine over the years and while her world falls apart when the current pair leaves, they are soon forgotten when the next one is paired on she doesn't re-pair without the 3 day effort.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

My grey definitely had a case of hate at first sight RE my gelding. After two weeks she calmed down and they could go out together but she still made some awful faces at him to make her disgust known. Then one day she just decided he was OK and I found them lying down next to each other. From then on they've been friends although he is a sod for nipping her on the bum and she will - quite rightly - tell him off for that.

Chestnut mare always liked him as did the TB I used to have.

 

[SussexbytheXmasTree]

My two absolutely adore each other. The younger chestnut is the dominant one and bosses my old boy about but he’s happy to let him. I love seeing their friendship but the downside is that it leads to separation anxiety. Both are ok to leave the other but neither like to be the one left behind. The chestnut especially gets quite angry and can throw his toys out.

 

[Annagain]

My old boy Eb lived at a local yard until he was 4 and was sold to the owner I loaned him from, who kept him at home. 19 years later, after I bought him, I moved him back to that yard. There were two horses who were still there from the first time. One, a mare, didn't appear to recognise him but the other gelding, with whom he'd been very friendly at the time, recognised him straight away and they instantly became firm friends again. Copper had another best friend in the herd before Eb arrived but he barely got a look in once Eb was back there. They were inseparable until Cop was pts. Strangely, Eb then buddied up with the best mate who got elbowed out in his favour.

We've never had two horses who really don't get on at our yard. There's a bit of running around when a new horse is introduced but it lasts minutes rather than hours and they generally all bob along together well. There are some who are more bonded to each other but none who hate each other. We have two herds of 6 but they all go together on the hay fields after the hay has been cut. The two herds stay apart and only mix with their own to begin with but gradually get closer together and end up all mixing. Plenty of space is key I think.

 

[meleeka]

I have a Welsh mare that hates almost every other horse. She’s truly evil and shows no mercy! The only horse she loves is my cob gelding and is inseparable from him. She tolerates the mini shetland and older mare, but they are below her in rank. A couple of years I took on an older mare who’s 16.2hh. Welsh mare is only 12hh but that didn’t stop her! Even now there’s legs flying when I arrive (she never actually connects but is very dramatic) but the big mare has thankfully learnt to roll her eyes and carry on. Welsh mare has had 2 foals in her life and I can only think she was hobbled or AI’d because I can’t imagine her letting any stallion near her, ever.

 

[SEL]

We had a new mare come onto the yard about 6 weeks ago and my big mare had the meltdown of all meltdowns. Newbie was in a different field, but my big mare got herself so worked up that I had to put a bridle on to lead her in, then remove the microcob from my field because big mare chased her if microcob dared look at newbie. In the end moving newbie to a field the other side of the farm calmed the whole situation down. The poor new horse did absolutely nothing during all of this!

My big mare was hand reared and I don't think she always understands herd dynamics. We had another new mare come onto the yard at Xmas but she was a lot older and basically walked on the yard and asserted her dominance. Everybody bowed down to her and there was minimal conflict. The recent newbie is the same age as my big mare and it just seems to have upset the apple cart somehow.

Big mare and my ardennes gelding are very pair bonded and have been from day 1 when they were turned out in a diet paddock together. Its why he came to me as a companion - he adores the bones of the big girl.

Microcob still has a special whicker when she sees her foal (now 2) and they nuzzle over the fence if we ride that route. Very, very cute!

 

[Ample Prosecco]

So what makes a horse like or dislike another horse if you remove self interest or lack of choice from the equation? Because even in large herds, horses pal up and those friendships can be very stable over time.

 

[Annagain]

Microcob still has a special whicker when she sees her foal (now 2) and they nuzzle over the fence if we ride that route. Very, very cute!

Archie had a BFF and he moved to a yard down the road. We were hacking past one day and I spotted his owner's car in the drive so we popped in to say hello. D was in his stable so we let Archie go to say hello and within seconds they were grooming each other over the door. After that, every time we hacked past, Arch would call and if he got a response (more often than not, he did) he'd dive into the yard to see his mate.

 

[smolmaus]

Almost all the ponies at the rescue live in herds and the dynamics are so interesting to watch. Currently a tiny little filly who 6 months ago was at deaths door has hit a summer growth spurt and is causing chaos in the established herd of 15 tinies. Well, she is trying. All the older ones mostly ignore her but seeing her playing queen bee with the other new filly, a very bonded pair of shetland mares who are absolute terrors and her elderly donkey pal is very funny.

We also have a 16.2 mare who has adopted 2 mini donkeys, 2 giant donkeys and a big chunky cob gelding as her babies and won't tolerate anyone else looking near any of them. Never seen a stranger bunch.

 

[Roxylola]

So what makes a horse like or dislike another horse if you remove self interest or lack of choice from the equation? Because even in large herds, horses pal up and those friendships can be very stable over time.

In my (non scientific) experience I think there are a few factors - time spent exclusively together seems to be a big one. I've known a few horses who have been hacking buddies and gone on to recognise each other generally. At least 2 off the top of my head who then immediately spot a similar looking horse to their buddy and are drawn to the similar one. Not always encouraged by the new "friend" - my friends 11.2 Welsh was harassed by my 15hh because he thought it was his winter hacking friend and the poor pony just looked like he was scared of being eaten ?

Another factor seems to be looking alike - they do seem drawn to horses that are a similar shape, colour etc

 

[irishdraft]

I took one of my horses over to have a hack with my friend and her horse . My horse knew hers from us hunting together and one holiday they have never lived together but always got on well. They haven't seen each other for at least 3 years but instantly started grooming each other when I tied mine up by my friends stable . This particular horse doesn't really like my other horse who he has lived with for 3 years and probably wouldn't have anything to do with him if it wasn't for the fact they are the only 2 on the place .

 

[maya2008]

I have a brother and sister from the same stud, foaled in the same year. Their mums were best friends. They are thick as thieves.

My old mare’s pair bond of 15 years died a couple of years ago. We nearly lost old mare too, as she wasn’t eating, wasn’t looking after herself. Only the arrival of a similar breed/size/colour new mare perked her up again.

 

[ester]

I'd love to say we had some sort of glorious reunion between frank and the blonde mare when I took him back after 4 years. It was more ermm what the hell is he doing here. . .

 

[Errin Paddywack]

My sister's little grey welsh was kept with just sheep before she bought him. I think he thought he was a sheep, he used to whinny to sheep and they would come over to him. He did eventually realise he was actually a pony.

 

[Sealine]

The horses my horse appears to form an attachment to are the horses he has spent alot of time with away from home, regardless of whether they live with him. His bestie belongs to a good friend of mine and for years we did alot together with the horses including camp, holidays, competing, pleasure rides etc and the horses always travelled together. When my friend hacks on the bridleway past my horses field he goes over to the fence see his bestie for a little chat - they are so sweet. His other 'friend' is a horse at home on the same yard. We go hunting together and the horses always travel together. They only have to pass each other in the yard and they're trying to groom each other.

 

[scats]

It always fascinates me how some horses take an instant dislike to another horse, but can be perfectly fine with something else. My friends mare absolutely hated my Tobi. If I took him anywhere near her, she’d be trying to reverse and double barrel him, yet I could walk Joe past her with no issues. No idea why she hated Tobes so much!
Millie and Polly are good friends, but they will bicker a bit over me.

 

[GinaGeo]

Mine definitely form close friendships and they do remember ‘friends’ they haven’t seen in ages.

Mickey is one of life’s friendly guys, but he has friends that are closer than others. He and Solo are best friends and have been since Solo came as a three year old. They’d happily share a stable and seek each other out in the group. Solo has been away for months at a time for Uni etc, and the reunion was always very joyous and never needed any managing.

Mickey has one friend who he only really knows from Hunting and sometimes years pass between them meeting. But when they do meet up, they know at first sight, much whiffling follows and they’re soon embraced in a grooming session.

I find watching their social interaction fascinating. And like us some of their relationships are particularly deep and meaningful and others are sort of an appreciation for the company and that’s it.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

We had an Appaloosa mare and a WelshxTB mare, the Appy came first, was kept at livery with a small herd. When we bought the next one and put them in adjacent fields. after a night spent in next door stables. They spent the morning standing next to each other at either side of the fence, I took the dogs for a walk where I could see them and then went back and put them into one field. They were best friends for the next 20 yrs when the TBx had to be pts, although they did sometimes fall out - our stable wall had a hole in to prove it! They were similar colours, we always called them 'The Pink Pair', although the TBx was bay roan and the Appaloosa had a chestnut base coat with lots of spots.


More recently, I had a Westphalian Kaltblut who was built like a brick outhouse, she and sister's solid-coloured Appaloosa were field companions who tolerated each other at first but became good friends over the years. Then I got a young cob, she and the Kaltblut never got on and eventually we had to put them into separate fields, after a fight when they looked like 2 Sumo wrestlers, which in hindsight was very funny but at the time looked dangerous. The cob is very bossy and she just wasn't going to have the older mare telling her what to do but the Kaltblut was also very bossy and she wasn't going to let the youngster get away with anything. Kaltblut must have been very picky about who she was friends with, as she also refused to get on with the ID, although they did manage to share a field.

 

[lynz88]

Mine and another are attached at the hip - I have never seen anything like it in my life. Have watched them eat the same blade of grass and even graze under each others belly....I just think one fly/kick and that's the end....

We moved yards last year and apparently his friend called out for him at night as they could no longer see each others' stable. We joke about them being lovers and I dread the day that his friend passes as he's he's fair bit older than mine. Unfortunately his bestie has been stuck on box rest though I've noticed my vet's horse has taken a real shine to mine - so much so that if I ride past the field he comes cantering up to the gate to say hi to Jonny and watched them groom each other the other day in the field which I've never seen mine do to any horse (and it was mine that instigated it).

Thinking about it....there are very few horses mine doesn't get along with/hasn't befriended in some way. He's always got at least one good friend around him it seems (he is the most sociable horse I've ever come across tbh - both with other horses and humans). That said none of his friendships go as deep as with Bert!

 

[spookypony]

The SP had a best buddy at his old livery yard. We both got our own place at about the same time, so they were split up. When they meet again on for hacks or on rides, they always seem very pleased about it, though the last time, there was a bit of an altercation because the wee pony mare got in the way...Madam Chairmare stayed with the SP for only a few months. After an alarming introduction, where he did his best to kick her ears clean off her head, she frogmarched him around the field; they tolerated each other, but I suspect he was relieved when she left. But then, the Ballerina Mare arrived, and it was love at first sight. She is the full sister of his best buddy from the old yard, so I joke that he's married his best friend's sister! When the new companion pony arrived, the SP chased her horribly when I finally put them together, but by the next morning, they were lying down close to each other, and now they all seem to get on very well, with lots of grooming, though it's still clear that the SP and the Ballerina Mare are a pair, and the pony is number three. The Ballerina Mare bullies the pony about the issue of feed buckets, but shouts her head off if the pony leaves for a solo hack. I think horses remember their friends for years and form close relationships, and I really hope I can keep this group together.

 

[fidleyspromise]

So what makes a horse like or dislike another horse if you remove self interest or lack of choice from the equation? Because even in large herds, horses pal up and those friendships can be very stable over time.

I think personality can have a lot to do with it. Some clash and some get on.

....
Another factor seems to be looking alike - they do seem drawn to horses that are a similar shape, colour etc

Interesting as my mare was in a large field with other mares mid summer so plenty of grass. Another mare was the other side of the field grazing, not looking at my mare or anything and my mare ran across the field, neck out, ears pinned and chased her off before going back to grazing. Another worker told me she did this before too. both mares were Highland ponies.


I've got a new loan pony and she was in quarantine for 2 weeks so they could see but not touch. Put all 3 together and nothing. All grazed calmly without meeting etc.
They saw each other from a distance but they spent a year over the fence from each other before spending a year apart and on different yards and I think they recognised each other so it was no biggie.