Horsey other halves?

[piebaldproblems]

Following on from that other thread on non-horsey other halves, does anyone have experience with horsey ones? Supposed to be going on a date soon with someone who was born and raised around horses and I'm not sure what to expect...

 

[spacefaer]

Expect in what way?

 

[spacefaer]

My OH rides but wouldn't describe himself as "horsey". He wouldn't (didn't!) go on dates and talk about horses - in fact, when we met, he hardly mentioned them.

He hacks, hunts, has point to pointed, can muck out, clips all ours and could fit and re-stuff a saddle but still wouldn't say he was horsey ?

 

[LadyGascoyne]

My husband comes from a horsey family and had horses growing up. These days he doesn’t ride much but is absolutely brilliant with yard chores, and I can ask advice on horse related decisions and he really understands what I’m asking and gives great input the which is incredibly useful.

One day he might get another horse but he’ll need a giant creature (he’s nearly 6’3) and I have so enjoyed not having a great big elephant of horse to manage so I’m not pushing the idea right now.

 

[splashgirl45]

my ex used to ride and was also a farrier, and was a good handyman, very useful!!!! he was very understanding if i was late back from the yard as he knew i worked full time and had to do the horse in the evening. sadly we grew apart, no ones fault, and we split up but have remained friends which is nice...i think a horsey OH can be great if they are on the same wave length as you so you dont argue about the way of managing the horses..so pros and cons....

 

[spotty_pony]

My ex got back into horses when I met him and even bought a horse off me. Tbh I found it annoying after a while having him at the yard all of the time with me and wanting to ride with me - that's time for ME but I felt like I lost that. A useful horsey OH such as a farrier or a vet might be not so bad but it's put me off having another horsey boyfriend!

 

[coblets]

Dated someone horsey for I think 8 days total. All fun and games for the first 7 days, on the eighth he sent me a video of him breaking (in the traditional sense) in some poor little mare. He was 6ft, she couldn't have been bigger than 14.1 with a skinny build, looking terrified and exhausted. Every time she bucked, his spurs were jabbed straight into her stomach. Broke up with him there and then.

That said, if I could find an equine dentist or physio OH...

 

[Mrs G]

Apart from Coblets experience (!) I’ve known a few ‘horsey’ men who are very much animal lovers and often become besotted with their steeds. My YO for example was devastated when he lost his mare to colic and has since given up having his own horse as he felt she was irreplaceable. A friends husband wasn’t in the slightest bit horsey until he married her and is now very much the ‘country gent’ with a number of dogs, cats, chickens and horses he absolutely dotes on. My husband loved my boy just as much as I do and took such good care of him. I reckon if someone is kind and caring to their horses it’s a very good sign they’ll be kind in general and that’s never a bad trait in a partner! On a practical level having a horsey other half who can muck out, tack up, clip, knows a stable rug from a turnout, remove loose shoes etc makes life a lot easier!

 

[milliepops]

I've had a few horsey relationships, it's swings and roundabouts. I actually prefer that my husband isn't hugely involved now, he will get stuck in if I ask him for help and he is good around horses (farrier) so I never worry about leaving him in charge. He does a lot of the work keeping the fields in order and makes our hay. But I like my own space for riding and training them.

 

[paddy555]

Great idea. Just make sure your ideas about horses are broadly similar. I cannot imagine living with someone who is not into horses. Mine rode from being a child and rides a lot better than I do. Money goes on horses before us, don't have to worry about what goes in the washing machine; he probably doesn't know where it is anyway. House gets full of wet smelly rugs no problem. Couple of weeks ago I damaged my ankle and was in a walking boot so couldn't ride. I tacked up, he rode, brought the first one back and he climbed on the second. Brought that back and he climbed aboard the third. Lots of advantages.

I don't remember going on many dates. Within the first week we had bought a horse together and that was it.

 

[brighteyes]

I still wish I had found one to share horses with.

 

[PoniesRock]

My OH wasn’t horsey when we first met. But I’ve taught him to ride, and annoyingly he has quite natural balance. Yes, it’s farrrr from pretty but he’s confident and rides well enough to hack out with me, and he’s besotted with my ‘project’ pony. She’s pretty much become his horse now - three years down the line and is very much not for sale! He comes from farming background, so he understands livestock rather than being horsey as such. But I really enjoy having a ‘horsey’ OH. It’s really nice having someone to go on fun rides with/ride out with/ride to the pub with! And he never begrudges a penny I spend on our two horses.

 

[Spottyappy]

I’m in the same camp as Millie, married the farrier who no longer rides. Sadly, mine not awfully useful either as his back is wrecked.
He never minds the amount of time I am up the yard though. Which was a constant whinge when I dated non horse people. With the exception of a farmer, who also never minded the time Spent on or with horses.

 

[brighteyes]

I probably could add that whilst my OH never denied me funds (and I was possibly more cautious with spending than him anyway) it was the time factor and my disinclination to do normal stuff (as I was usually too tired having also work, the kids, don't like going out/family clam-bakes anyway) that did it. We are still friends and look out for one another and I was very fortunate re the accommodation arrangement. It's a little unusual but meant neither of us lost out on a lifetime's effort building a place to suit and family are close by both of us.

This could sort of go in the other thread about splitting up and keeping the horses at home but we were a LOT further down the assets entitlement road. Were either of us vengeful or intent on destroying the other, I can easily see it would have meant I lost the horses. That simply wasn't happening!

 

[piebaldproblems]

Expect in what way?

Don't want to embarrass myself talking about my favourite hobby in front of someone who's vastly more experienced than me.

 

[smolmaus]

Don't want to embarrass myself talking about my favourite hobby in front of someone who's vastly more experienced than me.

Ah now, if he's a good one he won't make you feel embarrassed at all. No amount of horsey know-how could make up for him not being a decent bloke! That's a great opportunity to get a feel for his personality if you ask me.

And not to be all gender-sterotype-ish but a lot of men love teaching a lady things. I'm sure you'll both get your chance to talk far too much about horses!!