Hovis' friday diary

Hovis_and_SidsMum

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Dear diary
This week mum has been away again. I don’t like her going away, Dad rides me and whilst he likes going really really fast (which is fun) he also shouts at me for pulling. I’m NOT pulling. I’m getting from a to b as fast as possible and his arms are slowing me down. It’s not difficult.
He and mum have started talking about putting me in a different bit to stop me so thought I’d throw them a curve ball. I let dad ride me and pulled really hard, then the next day mum was back and I was really soft and gentle with her THEN mum let aunty Sarah ride me and I rode all the way around the hack with my reins so loose I could have skipped with them. Ha! THAT confused Dad! Mum has told him it’s him!! Hee Hee
When Aunt Sarah rode me weird things were happening in the field near the drive. These odd tent things appeared and they sacrificed a pig. The poor thing! They speared it with a big stick and then cooked it! I am SO worried about upsetting mum now in case she does the same to me. I heard uncle d say they’d have got more meat off me so yikes!
Apparently it was uncle d birthday and he was older than even wise old Timmy. Wow! That’s OLD! I thought the only things that lived longer than Timmy were trees.
Anyway that night all the humans stayed really late and kept us awake with embarrassing mum and dad type music. What’s with listening to George Michael? I know uncle d is old but is he deaf too? What’s wrong with a bit of hard core drum and base? I was well annoyed with mum as we all wanted to party and she and all the others kept popping in to make sure we alright. Of course we’re alright – we’d be even better if they had left.
The funniest sight though was the next day. It was really windy and these tent things started blowing about. I was in the stables waiting for the evil one to give mum a lesson when WHOOSH! The tent thing took off! Next thing mum and aunty T jumped on it – it was so heroic! They saved the tent thing from being blown away. They did appear to want to cuddle the tent thing for a while as they held on to it for ages whilst shouting encouraging things like ”bl**dy wind” “oh balls” and “who’s stupid idea was this” – urm dumb question – theirs!
I wanted to go and help as it looked like fun but mum wasn’t keen. Oh and for reference banging on the stable door to signal your mum when she’s cuddling a flying tent isn’t the done thing apparently.
So this week diary I am keeping my eyes peeled for anyone approaching me with a stick or any fires. Hovis burgers will NOT be on the menu - I don’t care whose birthday it is!
 

BobbyMondeo

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5 January 2009
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I love Hovis's diary. Never fails to make me laugh
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Thanks
 

Taffyhorse

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30 January 2009
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What a handsome boy you are Hovis - The fit mare obviously just doesn't know what's good for her!

You should really put these entries into a book and get it published, They are brilliantly funny and I look forward to your entry every week and I'm sure load of other HHO'ers are the same!

Looking forward to next Friday - hopefully you won't have turned into a burger :-0
 
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