Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary.
I nearly didnt write this this week. Im not sure theres any point. Last week I got all excited cos one of you said I should be published. At last! Fame and fortune. I had visions of doing pony club rallies and signing autographs for fit little ponies who gaze adoringly at me .. of a stand at Burghley selling my book. But apparently mum says Im not good enough so Ive got no chance of being famous. Its pants.
Im not sure my mum loves me anymore. First she says Im not good enough at writing my diary and then she threatens to sell me for a fiver. Timmy says thats like giving me away. I think some of it might be my fault. I think that I might just have pushed my luck a little too far at the beginning of this week.
It wasnt all my fault. Its just Omar and I were in a naughty mood and mum is so easy to wind up. So its not all me. Not that his royal highness poof pants got any blame. Well to start off I know mum now goes away on Sunday night so she comes to do us before she goes to the station. Now we thought we were doing her a favour. Last week she complained about how busy the train was so we thought we would help ensure no one wanted to sit next to her. Big mistake. Huge.
So firstly I got her trousers all mucky by refusing to come to the gate -she didnt seem too bothered so I went on with the plan. I pretended to be really thirsty so she went and fetched me a bucket of water, which I accidentally knocked all over her feet. Now she did say a few rude words but I thought it was because the water was cold. Apparently not.
When she brought the bucket back she held it for me so I took a big mouthful .. and spat it at her. This did NOT go down well so she took the bucket of me and offered it to poof bags. So I signalled him by throwing my head collar at mum, when she turned round to shout at me poof bags stretched his neck really really high and then spat water all over her head.
It was SO funny! She looked like a drowned rat. Dad was laughing too. Strangely mum wasnt and her vocabulary suddenly grew really impressive and she used loads of words Ive not heard before! Wow shes clever!
I think this might have been why she spent the rest of the time chuntering about selling me. Ooops. Im not sure I want a new mum. I mean the one Ive got is a bit bonkers but I do love her.
Anyway yesterday I tried to make it up to her by being angelic in the school but I am very scared. She says cos were getting better were going to have lessons with a new man. Now Omar had a lesson with this man yesterday. He came back white and exhausted. He said it was the worst 1.5 hours of his life. Apparently this man was in the army and is really mean. Im really scared. Im not any good at getting down and giving anyone 50. I dont even know what it means. Diary help me!! Will I have to do star jumps?
I nearly didnt write this this week. Im not sure theres any point. Last week I got all excited cos one of you said I should be published. At last! Fame and fortune. I had visions of doing pony club rallies and signing autographs for fit little ponies who gaze adoringly at me .. of a stand at Burghley selling my book. But apparently mum says Im not good enough so Ive got no chance of being famous. Its pants.
Im not sure my mum loves me anymore. First she says Im not good enough at writing my diary and then she threatens to sell me for a fiver. Timmy says thats like giving me away. I think some of it might be my fault. I think that I might just have pushed my luck a little too far at the beginning of this week.
It wasnt all my fault. Its just Omar and I were in a naughty mood and mum is so easy to wind up. So its not all me. Not that his royal highness poof pants got any blame. Well to start off I know mum now goes away on Sunday night so she comes to do us before she goes to the station. Now we thought we were doing her a favour. Last week she complained about how busy the train was so we thought we would help ensure no one wanted to sit next to her. Big mistake. Huge.
So firstly I got her trousers all mucky by refusing to come to the gate -she didnt seem too bothered so I went on with the plan. I pretended to be really thirsty so she went and fetched me a bucket of water, which I accidentally knocked all over her feet. Now she did say a few rude words but I thought it was because the water was cold. Apparently not.
When she brought the bucket back she held it for me so I took a big mouthful .. and spat it at her. This did NOT go down well so she took the bucket of me and offered it to poof bags. So I signalled him by throwing my head collar at mum, when she turned round to shout at me poof bags stretched his neck really really high and then spat water all over her head.
It was SO funny! She looked like a drowned rat. Dad was laughing too. Strangely mum wasnt and her vocabulary suddenly grew really impressive and she used loads of words Ive not heard before! Wow shes clever!
I think this might have been why she spent the rest of the time chuntering about selling me. Ooops. Im not sure I want a new mum. I mean the one Ive got is a bit bonkers but I do love her.
Anyway yesterday I tried to make it up to her by being angelic in the school but I am very scared. She says cos were getting better were going to have lessons with a new man. Now Omar had a lesson with this man yesterday. He came back white and exhausted. He said it was the worst 1.5 hours of his life. Apparently this man was in the army and is really mean. Im really scared. Im not any good at getting down and giving anyone 50. I dont even know what it means. Diary help me!! Will I have to do star jumps?
