Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
I am sorry I didnt write last week but mum was in Scotland and dad was working away too so Aunty Vicky was looking after us. Aunty Vicky is cool as she makes great beds, gives us loads of food and best still doesnt make us do any work. But she hasnt got a computer I can borrow so I couldnt write.
So last week was fab, hanging out with my mates, oggling the girls, working on my mud pack and generally just dossing about. Then mum came home and announced weve got to work hard as the army man is coming next week.
Ive decided I might run away before this lesson from hell. The man sounds horrible. Mum has been making me do loads of trot, halt, walk, trot, halt, trot yawn! But worst still shes come over all mean and if I dont go the instant she tells me she pulls me up and then asks me again by hitting me on the bum with the whip!! I am so offended! When did she get so bossy? She says that the army man wont be very impressed unless I try really hard and am very off the leg. What does off the leg mean? I have four of them so which one am I supposed to be off? If I throw all four off the floor at once well fall over? I am so confused.
Last weekend uncle john and Aunty Mary came to visit. Now I dont think Aunty Mary likes me as I made her fall off it was an accident but I thought it was funny. So this time mum said uncle john could ride me - he was cool, no control at all and he just let me whizz around the ménage really really fast mum was sort of laughing or maybe crying but I thought it was ace!
Yesterday mum made me do loads of transition and stuff again and then we went for a little walk up to the field. That was nice, mum was being very brave and we went on our own. I like that as mum talks to m loads and makes me feel very important. She is funny though. Today a big thing was flying low in the sky making load of noise, mum kept telling me it was ok and stroking my neck like I was scared of that thing? Seriously it was in the sky why would it worry me? Now nasty yellow things creeping up on us in the grass are scary but that thing piff! No worries. Mum however obviously thinks Ive been spending too much times with poof bags and thought Id run like a baby. Not a chance! I am a man not a mouse.
So what do you think I should do about army man? Seriously what with this off the leg stuff and the prospect of doing star jumps for an hour I am really wondering if doing a runner is the best option? Fit mare says hes nice but then hes a man and she probably spends the whole time looking at his bum she is a long legged beauty but a total tart. So will one of you come and fetch me, let me stay at your pad just till hes gone? Im seriously thinking being in the dog house might be more fun than being killed by some man treating me like Im a squaddie?
HELP!!
I am sorry I didnt write last week but mum was in Scotland and dad was working away too so Aunty Vicky was looking after us. Aunty Vicky is cool as she makes great beds, gives us loads of food and best still doesnt make us do any work. But she hasnt got a computer I can borrow so I couldnt write.
So last week was fab, hanging out with my mates, oggling the girls, working on my mud pack and generally just dossing about. Then mum came home and announced weve got to work hard as the army man is coming next week.
Ive decided I might run away before this lesson from hell. The man sounds horrible. Mum has been making me do loads of trot, halt, walk, trot, halt, trot yawn! But worst still shes come over all mean and if I dont go the instant she tells me she pulls me up and then asks me again by hitting me on the bum with the whip!! I am so offended! When did she get so bossy? She says that the army man wont be very impressed unless I try really hard and am very off the leg. What does off the leg mean? I have four of them so which one am I supposed to be off? If I throw all four off the floor at once well fall over? I am so confused.
Last weekend uncle john and Aunty Mary came to visit. Now I dont think Aunty Mary likes me as I made her fall off it was an accident but I thought it was funny. So this time mum said uncle john could ride me - he was cool, no control at all and he just let me whizz around the ménage really really fast mum was sort of laughing or maybe crying but I thought it was ace!
Yesterday mum made me do loads of transition and stuff again and then we went for a little walk up to the field. That was nice, mum was being very brave and we went on our own. I like that as mum talks to m loads and makes me feel very important. She is funny though. Today a big thing was flying low in the sky making load of noise, mum kept telling me it was ok and stroking my neck like I was scared of that thing? Seriously it was in the sky why would it worry me? Now nasty yellow things creeping up on us in the grass are scary but that thing piff! No worries. Mum however obviously thinks Ive been spending too much times with poof bags and thought Id run like a baby. Not a chance! I am a man not a mouse.
So what do you think I should do about army man? Seriously what with this off the leg stuff and the prospect of doing star jumps for an hour I am really wondering if doing a runner is the best option? Fit mare says hes nice but then hes a man and she probably spends the whole time looking at his bum she is a long legged beauty but a total tart. So will one of you come and fetch me, let me stay at your pad just till hes gone? Im seriously thinking being in the dog house might be more fun than being killed by some man treating me like Im a squaddie?
HELP!!
