Hovis' friday diary

22 January 2007
Dear diary
I have a new brother! Although how happy I am about it is still up for debate.
He arrived the other night and my first thoughts were he seemed quite cool but then he snored all night so I was not best impressed by the morning. Plus I had to lend him a pair of PJs as poof bags old ones were too big.
When Mum and Dad came down mum gave me lots of love but Dad went straight to see new fancy pants so I think something needs to be done to remind everyone of the hierarchy around here. I get fuss first then everyone else. Like duh! It’s not difficult. Well new boy is not as weak as he looks as he managed to break the stable chain and escape – I was quite impressed – I can’t do that and I’m much bigger! Dad was not amused so that tickled me.
Anyway new bro’s name is Pride which I think makes us sound like some sort of dodgy sliced loaf. Mum says he’s the same age as me so I have to decide if I want to be the older brother or the younger one. That’s a tough decision. If I say I’m older I have to be mature and “lead by example” but I’m fed up of being treated like the baby of the family. I’m at a loss as to what to do……..I can hardly say we’re twins – my neck is twice the size of his!
Anyway I am concerned that this lad is as big a poof as poof bags was. Mum took me down to the field yesterday morning when all of a sudden there was a shout from behind us and fancy pants shot past trailing his lead rope at full speed. I’ll give him credit he is quite fast – mind you Dad was running pretty quick trying to catch him. Mum and I waited patiently for the pair of them to stop larking about and eventually fancy pants came running back to me and mum. Like I was going to save him – he needs to learn fast it’s every man for himself around here. Anyway he’s up in the naughty “you might have germs so stay away from us” field for the next week so we shall see how he gets on. I think I might need to have a word about showing us up in front of the mares - I have enough problems pulling without him adding to my woes.
Mum and I might be going out for a little jump tonight at a little competition so I shall have to bring home a rosette to show Mr Dumbblood that us big boys can jump too – I won’t stand for another brother of mine questioning my breeding. Ok maybe mum wasn’t fussy but that doesn’t make me a bog trotting thicko. Apparently this fancy boy is an eventer – I assume that means he thinks he’s something special at cross country – well he’s in for a shock. Nobody does cross country like I do it so stand aside posh boy and I’ll show you how it’s done.
Anyway we’ll see. I hope he chills out and we can have some fun together – as long as he remembers my simple rules we’ll be fine:
1. Hay is mine. It doesn’t matter if its in your haynet – its still mine.
2. All mares are mine. If you think they are making eyes at you, you are mistaken.
3. Grass – is mine. Unless I say you can have a bit. If I change my mind and want the bit you are standing on then you have to move. Immediately and without argument.
4. Water- the drinking trough is mine. I may from time to time allow you to drink from it but only if I’m in a good mood and you groom that hard to reach bit behind my ears.
5. The cool seats on the lorry are mine. I have shotgun rights at all times.
6. I don’t like over familiarity – when it comes to names Sir Hovis is fine…

What do you think?!!


Well-Known Member
26 November 2008
Dear Hovis,

does that mean that your friend Poofbags has moved away then? Are you very sad? My friend the Noodlehead moved away not long ago. Two new horses have moved into my field this winter, so it's not so bad, because one of them is really good friends with me. The other one came after the Noodlehead left, and thinks he's really something special with the mares across the fence. He gets a bit obnoxious about it, so I mostly ignore him. I did get bit on the bum, though.

How does this cross-country stuff work? Is it like when you go on a long trot through the woods? Or is it more like when you go and there are the howling doggy things and the things that go toot? That's very exciting.

the Spooky Pony


Well-Known Member
8 January 2010
Hovis you have made may Friday, just got back from seeing to my 5. Sir Esk, Lord Scooby,General Zeus, Madam Fe FE and lady Muffin. I am sure that Sir Esk would love to exchange tails with you. (HE COULD NEVER BE AS GOOD THOUGH!)


Well-Known Member
15 April 2008
South Bucks
Hi Hovis,

Regarding the rules. Pharoah, my big brother (silly phrase that - he's actually smaller than me) knows all about rules 1 - 4 also and insists that me and the rest of my family stick to them. It's so not fair!

However I sometimes manage to get around rule 2. Pharaoh's got a thing for Pig (yes, that's right, Pig - a bit of a confusing name because I thought pigs were these horrible, pink, smelly, scary things) the very sexy Connemara mare who is not part of my family, but lives in the field next door. Pharaoh likes Pig - lots - but whenever he's busy telling everyone else that the hay belongs to him, and the grass belongs to him - I just sneak off and go and flirt with Pig myself over the fence. And you know, I'm sure she prefers me to his Lordship, because I'm far less bossy!

Anyway Hovis, I hope you get to like your new brother lots - especially because those humans apparently have a phrase which goes something like "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family!".



Well-Known Member
5 September 2009
North Dorset
Hi Hovis
Mum says that Iam getting a little sister tomorrow, she is white and fluffy and Iam NOT happy about it. I want all the fuss on me and only me, so have you got any tips on how to cope? I can't bear the thought of having to share not only MY grass but the hay too!! What do I do if she dribbles in MY water - will I catch a lurgy? Oh HELP please.
Yours Truely
Miss Meg xxx


Well-Known Member
25 May 2008
Oi Hovis,
You need to be kind to the new boy, being made to stay in the "you might have germs field" is pants.....I had to stay in there a long time until mum was sure I wasnt habouring the next deadly plague!
Once he is out of pony prison though, you are quite right, its every man for himself.
El Stupido nipped over the fence Monday, and ate all the hay!
Firstly she has a poorly leg and is NOT supposed to jump anything, and secondly that was MY hay!!!!
So I bit her on the knee's. I would have bitten her higher up, but I just couldnt reach.
Being small sucks sometimes

Love Little Stig