Hovis' friday diary

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Hovis_and_SidsMum

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22 January 2007
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Dear diary
Well what an exciting week I have had. As I told you all last week fancy pants and I have moved house.
The day started with mum and Dad chucking us out in the field whilst they packed up all our things, then we leapt on board our lorry and set off. Aunty Sarah came with us to help mum and Dad so I could see her and mum in a car following us as we drove along.
It didn’t take long to get there and we jumped off to see a field FULL of lovely grass, I’ve never seen grass like it. Wowee! Dad took fancy pants and Aunty Sarah led me down to the field which we were told was all for us! I could see some of my new room mates but to be honest I was more interested in the GRASS!! Fancy pants and I are now in a field by ourselves but we can see all the other horses over the fences. Now I have learnt a lesson about fences. These fences at our new home looked pretty puny… so I leant on one………….OUCH!! These fences BITE! How mean is that? So I told fancy pants to reach under one wire to get some grass and he got stung too!! Hee hee!! I find me SO funny…
Anyway our new stables are cool, although I can’t see through the sides of them like I could at my old house. My next door neighbours are both blokes and seem quite cool although I am concerned that one of them is as big as me (although older) so might eat all the grass. Opposite is a rather cute looking girl and fancy pants has another girl next door to him. She’s in the field next to us and has a very nice sleek bottom. She seems to like showing her bottom to me but I’m not quite sure what that means?
Mum seems to be concerned that we might not have anything to play with because she and the boss lady put a cone in our field in a big hole that the last horse in the field had dug. I think the cone is ace fun and so far have managed to put it in lots of hiding places. Mum loves this game and spends ages looking for it. She uses those words that she saves for special occasions and on Monday accidentally dropped the cone in an action that might have looked to the uneducated like she was trying to throw it at me…..
Then on Monday fancy pants and I discovered that the fence wasn’t biting the way it had been doing so we got major kudos from the other horses by appearing really hard and reaching under the wire to grab our box which is outside near the gate. We then played with our head collars and the brush and bucket that mum and Dad had put there to clean out the trough. Unfortunately as fancy pants and I were playing “clean up” with the brush and the tub, mum and dad came down the drive in their truck. Ooops! They then realised that the fence was playing nicely and so told the boss lady. She then obviously told the fence to man up because it’s started biting really hard again. Poo.
Mum rode me on Sunday in the new ménage which is nice to walk on but is a little bit smaller than the one I’ve been used to. I don’t mind though because it’s next to the hay barn so every time I come down that side I open my mouth in the vain hope some might jump out and land between my teeth. Alas this has not yet happened. I got the day off on Monday, then mum rode me again on Tuesday and Dad on weds. I am a little aggrieved about this – I know I’m getting more grass but this doesn’t mean they have a right to work me into the ground! Lots of my new room mates don’t have to work as hard as me. Life stinks.
Even more stinky is that fancy pants has a claim to fame. He was at the vets in the week for the vets to check out his back and someone called Polly Jackson rode him. He has not shut up about it since. She apparently said he was lovely, well schooled and had a “nice soft mouth”. Ha! She’s obviously not been bitten on the bum by him. Soft! Not likely. So do any of you know anyone famous who might want to come and ride me?
 
Dear Hovis,

I know what you can do about those biting fences! You need to get yourself one of those really furry shetlands for your field. A shetland cross will do, too, as long as it's really really furry. They're actually immune to the biting fences!

Another thing you can do---I saw another horse do this just the other day!---is if the fence is of the really puny-looking kind, you can---carefullly!!---pick up the posts by the very top, and pull on them. The posts themselves actually don't bite at all, and if you knock a few of them over, no more fence!

The third thing you can do is listen. You go find where there's a funny box near the fence (not your grooming box), and if it's making a ticking sound, that means the fence is in a biting mood. If it's not ticking, you can safely ignore the fence!

I hope these suggestions help!

Carrots,
the Spooky Pony
 
Dear Hovis,
Captain here, we've not spoken before so I hope you don't find me forward.

Now to deal with a biting, vicious fence without the danger of getting yourself hurt, I warn you this must be done far from the view of humans as they tend to say those rude words if they see you doing it. First find a couple of ponies or small horses you don't particularly like, then round them up and drive them towards the biting fence, if you give the last one's bum a nip they all run through the biting fence.

I can assure you this works, I used to use it regularly until my human saw, said those words and put me into solitary! The biting fence falls down then you can step over and eat the better grass on the other side.

Captain
 
Hi Hovis,

Glad you like your new place.

I missed your diary last week 'cos my human was down here spending more time with me than usual, so I couldn't get to the computer. My human said something about having 4 days OFF work in a row - but it's not fair because that wasn't true at all - it actually meant I had 4 days OF work in a row instead - I was most put out!

Anyway Mum's back doing her own work now, leaving me free to catch up with you. I hope I didn't miss anything good last week.

Warrior
 
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