Hovis' friday diary

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Hovis_and_SidsMum

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Dear diary
I am sorry for the lateness of my entry today but mum and Aunty C have been trying to kill Billy and I for most of the morning.
Despite hurricane like conditions monsoon rains and a definite chill in the air, mother and Aunty C in their wisdom decided as they are not "fair weather riders" that we were still going out on our hack today. Admittedly this was agreed only after 20 minutes of "its up to you, i don't mind", "I don't mind, do you really want to go" which made it perfectly clear that really neither of them was keen but determined not to be the one that wussed out. I would have quite happily said I didn't want to go but sadly neither Billy nor i were given an option....
So Billy and I have endured two HOURS of slippery fields, driving rain, train lines, kamakazi ducks, lots of irrigators, tractors, postal vans, large green fuel dump things, blowing plastic bags and general mayhem so that mother and Aunty C could feel virtuous. Hah! We could have DIED, I fell over my feet at leats 40 times and theres lots of deep ditches...
Seriously if its not a cruelty case i don't know what is. This is AFTER mother made me school in the rain last night with god making loud noises and throwing light stick things at us. She did quit when the man upstairs started getting more accurate with the light stick things and they were getting a bit close. She said I was lethargic - nope mum I'm just busy messing myself at the thought of being turned into a deep fried Hovis burger at any minute.
Earlier in the week Dad took me out hacking on our own (he's still not grown out of this silly habit) and worked me in the school. So all in all I think i've been put through it enough this week without having to endure Army style training in all weathers - mum is spending too much time with Evil Army Man.
Talking of which his best friend, cool new shoes man is coming later which means i'll be expected to stand on three legs for half the evening. Why he can't hold me up I have no idea but he's got very moany about me leaning on him. At least it means i can come in out of this horrible weather - the wind is playing havoc with the long mane i have now managed to grow. I am a little alarmed as I swear I heard mum muttering something about mane pulling this weekend.
I also understand she has been on HHO asking about cutting off my feathers? AND some of you told her to do it? I thought you were my friends? My fans? My lovely people? THEN you suggest she cuts off my feathers? What kind of people are you?!! Without my feathers i will look like a fat ginger bloke with bandy legs - how the heck am i supoosed to pull looking like that? Sheesh a boy could go off you lot.........
 
Hovis,

I am full of admiration for you for being such a brave and tough horse in the horrible weather.

By the way, I was one of those who thinks you should keep your lovely feathers :-)
 
Hovis, you're brilliant!

KL67, you haven't met Hovis before:eek: He's FAMOUS :D

You'll find a picture of the lovely man in the thread entitled "Can't believe I'm posting this..." a few pages down. Can't copy a link. HHO playing up:mad:
 
Dear Hovis

Stand up for your right to hairy legs - you are a clydie, not a bloody TB!

I have shortened my mane and thinned it nicely - but mum screamed at me, but she was the one to put me in the winter paddock with access to the telephone pole. YO is threatening me with all sorts of nasty stuff if I take out the broadband for the street - I can now get the wire moving for a good 100 yards in each direction.

Mum has now put horrible stinging tape round the pole so I can't get to it for a proper good rub. She says I am supposed to have a nice long mane to put something called a heavy horse plait in it. I am most affronted, my waist is looking extremely slim at the moment and I don't think making me look heavy with a plait is called for.:mad:

Love

Farra Clydesdale xxxx
 
Hovis,

I have already rung the RSPCA about the cruelty you have suffered today and I am sure they will soon be in touch.

I am also sure after seeing your picture on the "Feathers" post that you would suit either as you are such a handsome boy.
 
Poor Hovis - fortunately my mum is not quite so cruel, but she is threatening me with a 4am start tomorrow :eek::eek:just to go and babysit some sill TB that lives up the road on her first Autumn hunting trip. I'm planning to tell the little love to stand still while I show her what not to do?

I think having your feather cut off won't make you look like a bandy legged ginger bloke, but that the girls will fancy you more because it show's you're in touch with your feminine side and girls love that! ;)

carrots, Ron
 
Dear Hovis.......

My mum trimmed my feathers about an inch last week, but soooooooo badly, I look like I have pudding bowls on my feet :eek: Everyone laughed at first, but not any more - I am almost mudless, and I get lots of cuddles out of it.

I'm very upset that all our friends at the yard have brand new rugs on, but me and my best friend (the little shettie) are out in all this rain and cold NAKED. yup NAKED. I want to go into my nice cosy stable, but she laughs at me at tells me I have to come out, that I'm "a native" - what does that mean ?

Can you please write to my mum and tell her how cruel she is being ?

Thankyou Hovis, love Shy xx
 
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