Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
I am now a grown up big boy. I know this because my mum has told me so this morning, just before she wacked me on the bum with a whip and told me I therefore had to man up and stop being a poof about the wheelie bin. Now I must point out it was a GREY wheelie bin and this was the issue. Wheelie bins should be green, black or brown not GREY. Now I am not stupid so thus I had already realised this was a horse eatings monsters cunning disguise and was trying to save us both. Alas once again my mother proved Darwin might have had a point and insisted on dying at the hands of the wheelie bin morphed monster. Admittedly we didn't actually die but we MIGHT of so I feel vindicated.
Furthermore last weekend mum and Dad have decided as I am now a big grown up boy to put me back into my snaffle in the school. This followed me annoying the bum off mother on saturday and only having two speeds - Stop and Go. Having threatened me with all sorts of dire consequences if I didn't start behaving she wheeled out the big guns on sunday. i.e. Dad. So just to annoy her I behaved like an angel for Dad, all light and floaty, prancing about like a big dressage princess. Now I know when mums REALLY peed off because she goes all sulky, every second word is "FINE" in that tone that indicates in fact its not at all, and she sighes a lot. So me doing a perfect leg yield all the way down the school in a snaffle for Dad was indeed "FINE", followed by more sighing than I do when forced to listen to EAMs lectures on "softness". In fairness she got on and I behaved for her too just in case Dad wasn't doing my tea that night - heh I may be big but don't think I'm dumb!
In the meantime Dolly has not forgiven me for mother having a little "word" with her the other week about her giving me a love bite. In fact I think mother may have forced her to bat for the other side. Shes spending more time smooching the ginger mare than me and whilst I might like watching for a while it bothers me that I am giving off all the wrong signals. First of all I make Stalions get all frisky and now I'm turning women in lady lovers. Do people really think I'm camper than Alan Carr in a tent? Sheesh what do I have to do to convince these ladies that I am 100% all Irish bog trotting beef cake? Admittedly with hindsight wetting myself in the dark on the lunge last night right in front of the ladies probably didn't help my cause but how was I supposed to know the big bogey man at B was actually Bernie the bouncing bunny? It was dark, he was in shadow, it was an easy mistake to make......... Mum is still moaning about her shoulder this morning but it was her daft idea to hang on whilst i launched myself into outer space so i fail to see this is my fault.
I am now enjoying the sunshine, the view of two lovely ladies playing tongue bits and chomping on my grass. I shall awaiting my daily tail pulling and carrot teasing when mother gets back. I tell you I can't ruddy wait..........
I am now a grown up big boy. I know this because my mum has told me so this morning, just before she wacked me on the bum with a whip and told me I therefore had to man up and stop being a poof about the wheelie bin. Now I must point out it was a GREY wheelie bin and this was the issue. Wheelie bins should be green, black or brown not GREY. Now I am not stupid so thus I had already realised this was a horse eatings monsters cunning disguise and was trying to save us both. Alas once again my mother proved Darwin might have had a point and insisted on dying at the hands of the wheelie bin morphed monster. Admittedly we didn't actually die but we MIGHT of so I feel vindicated.
Furthermore last weekend mum and Dad have decided as I am now a big grown up boy to put me back into my snaffle in the school. This followed me annoying the bum off mother on saturday and only having two speeds - Stop and Go. Having threatened me with all sorts of dire consequences if I didn't start behaving she wheeled out the big guns on sunday. i.e. Dad. So just to annoy her I behaved like an angel for Dad, all light and floaty, prancing about like a big dressage princess. Now I know when mums REALLY peed off because she goes all sulky, every second word is "FINE" in that tone that indicates in fact its not at all, and she sighes a lot. So me doing a perfect leg yield all the way down the school in a snaffle for Dad was indeed "FINE", followed by more sighing than I do when forced to listen to EAMs lectures on "softness". In fairness she got on and I behaved for her too just in case Dad wasn't doing my tea that night - heh I may be big but don't think I'm dumb!
In the meantime Dolly has not forgiven me for mother having a little "word" with her the other week about her giving me a love bite. In fact I think mother may have forced her to bat for the other side. Shes spending more time smooching the ginger mare than me and whilst I might like watching for a while it bothers me that I am giving off all the wrong signals. First of all I make Stalions get all frisky and now I'm turning women in lady lovers. Do people really think I'm camper than Alan Carr in a tent? Sheesh what do I have to do to convince these ladies that I am 100% all Irish bog trotting beef cake? Admittedly with hindsight wetting myself in the dark on the lunge last night right in front of the ladies probably didn't help my cause but how was I supposed to know the big bogey man at B was actually Bernie the bouncing bunny? It was dark, he was in shadow, it was an easy mistake to make......... Mum is still moaning about her shoulder this morning but it was her daft idea to hang on whilst i launched myself into outer space so i fail to see this is my fault.
I am now enjoying the sunshine, the view of two lovely ladies playing tongue bits and chomping on my grass. I shall awaiting my daily tail pulling and carrot teasing when mother gets back. I tell you I can't ruddy wait..........
