Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
I would like to send the man upstairs a christmas card. Does anyone know his address? I want to thank him for the three week holiday from riding I have had and suggest he keeps the good work up - retirement is FUN!!
I was a little concerned when the white stuff started to melt but the sheet ice, frozen menage and driving sleet are inspired! That said if he could turn the radiator up a little bit that would be great. This morning I am mostly wearing a cardboard rug. Whilst it is dry it is also frozen - i look like Hovis-in-a-box. Between wetting herself with laughing mother has attempted to mould it to my manly frame but on last inspection my tail flap is sticking up at a particularly jaunty angle. This I feel sends out the wrong signals to my ladies so I'm hoping I have a hot ass to melt it swifty and return it to its normal position. If it stays sticking up much longer I'm going to become the next stopping place for migrating lesser spotted bird things.
In other weather related news my coaching for mums attempt to appear on prancing on ice has gained momentum. We have now mastered the downhill flail to the field and are now working on the 360-piroutte-whilst-trying-to-undo-the gate-tapes. Yesterdays attempt was almost worthy of a 6 if she hadn't slipped, grabbed for me, missed and almost headbutted the fence post. Admittedly "missed" tends to infer it was her fault and lack of aim rather than my very subtle sidestep out of reach but heh as she says to me - you learn by your mistakes.
Mum and I also have a very cool new game. She lets me off at the gate, puts the tape up and I rush off to see Dolly, prancing (in a manly fashion) and showing off my moves. I then come back to assist mum defrost my ice trough (in my opinion i do a better job but she seems to get a little upset when I stamp my foot in the bucket at the same time as she does) and then we run. Mum runs to the end of the field and I run alongside til we get to the electric fence. Then mum moves it back the whopping 6 inches that she allows me, she goes home and I eat. All great fun and rather majestic looking. Yesterday however our game when a little wrong. For once I was behind mum rather than at the side and I had a little bit of brake failure. I think its fair to say we have discovered the stopping distance for a Destroyer on ice is a fair distance.......... I crashed into mum causing her to make a lightening quick decision. Attempt to stop or jump the electric fence. Mum has a lot of bone and the aerodynamic properties of an elephant with concrete wellies on so she elected for attempting to stop. Ooopps. The good news is I didn't get bitten by the fence.... bad news is mother did. To be honest the fuss she made you'd think it hurt or something, admittedly I perhaps should have given her a cuddle or something before turning round and eating grass..... and allowing my natural gases to escape in her direction. Last seen she was muttering darkly about sale rooms, glue and taking up knitting. I think the electric might have caused a momentary brain fart? I hope.........
I also need to get word to my retired older brother. It appears his selflessness saved me from a "hot ragging" the other day. Mum had gone to see him, groomed him, hot ragged him and generally tried to make him look presentable. I was apparently the next stop on her hot ragging rampage. Thankfully Sids timely spitting of a half a bucket of cold water down my mothers neck so demoralised her that I was saved. He may have used to kick my butt from one end of the field to the other but I owe him one. I did think of sending him half of my swede but decided I wasn't THAT grateful.. Besides I have other worries. Its kissmuss soon - usually a time I look forward to for much snogging under the haynets with fit furry lovelies. But diary I am in a male dominated yard now - how does that work? Billys a total dude but he eats a LOT of garlic and has a mustache..can I please cancel kissmuss this year?
I would like to send the man upstairs a christmas card. Does anyone know his address? I want to thank him for the three week holiday from riding I have had and suggest he keeps the good work up - retirement is FUN!!
I was a little concerned when the white stuff started to melt but the sheet ice, frozen menage and driving sleet are inspired! That said if he could turn the radiator up a little bit that would be great. This morning I am mostly wearing a cardboard rug. Whilst it is dry it is also frozen - i look like Hovis-in-a-box. Between wetting herself with laughing mother has attempted to mould it to my manly frame but on last inspection my tail flap is sticking up at a particularly jaunty angle. This I feel sends out the wrong signals to my ladies so I'm hoping I have a hot ass to melt it swifty and return it to its normal position. If it stays sticking up much longer I'm going to become the next stopping place for migrating lesser spotted bird things.
In other weather related news my coaching for mums attempt to appear on prancing on ice has gained momentum. We have now mastered the downhill flail to the field and are now working on the 360-piroutte-whilst-trying-to-undo-the gate-tapes. Yesterdays attempt was almost worthy of a 6 if she hadn't slipped, grabbed for me, missed and almost headbutted the fence post. Admittedly "missed" tends to infer it was her fault and lack of aim rather than my very subtle sidestep out of reach but heh as she says to me - you learn by your mistakes.
Mum and I also have a very cool new game. She lets me off at the gate, puts the tape up and I rush off to see Dolly, prancing (in a manly fashion) and showing off my moves. I then come back to assist mum defrost my ice trough (in my opinion i do a better job but she seems to get a little upset when I stamp my foot in the bucket at the same time as she does) and then we run. Mum runs to the end of the field and I run alongside til we get to the electric fence. Then mum moves it back the whopping 6 inches that she allows me, she goes home and I eat. All great fun and rather majestic looking. Yesterday however our game when a little wrong. For once I was behind mum rather than at the side and I had a little bit of brake failure. I think its fair to say we have discovered the stopping distance for a Destroyer on ice is a fair distance.......... I crashed into mum causing her to make a lightening quick decision. Attempt to stop or jump the electric fence. Mum has a lot of bone and the aerodynamic properties of an elephant with concrete wellies on so she elected for attempting to stop. Ooopps. The good news is I didn't get bitten by the fence.... bad news is mother did. To be honest the fuss she made you'd think it hurt or something, admittedly I perhaps should have given her a cuddle or something before turning round and eating grass..... and allowing my natural gases to escape in her direction. Last seen she was muttering darkly about sale rooms, glue and taking up knitting. I think the electric might have caused a momentary brain fart? I hope.........
I also need to get word to my retired older brother. It appears his selflessness saved me from a "hot ragging" the other day. Mum had gone to see him, groomed him, hot ragged him and generally tried to make him look presentable. I was apparently the next stop on her hot ragging rampage. Thankfully Sids timely spitting of a half a bucket of cold water down my mothers neck so demoralised her that I was saved. He may have used to kick my butt from one end of the field to the other but I owe him one. I did think of sending him half of my swede but decided I wasn't THAT grateful.. Besides I have other worries. Its kissmuss soon - usually a time I look forward to for much snogging under the haynets with fit furry lovelies. But diary I am in a male dominated yard now - how does that work? Billys a total dude but he eats a LOT of garlic and has a mustache..can I please cancel kissmuss this year?
