Hovis' Friday Diary

Hovis_and_SidsMum

Well-Known Member
Joined
22 January 2007
Messages
2,711
Location
Lincolnshire
Visit site
Dear Diary

This week has mainly seen me demonstrating the cunning of a fox, the wiliness of a weasel and the insight of, of , of an iguana? (Couldn’t think of another animal beginning with “I”)
Last Saturday mum when to see her friends so you can imagine how thrilled she was to receive a call from Dad who was looking after me for the night to say I was “lathered up to the eye balls” and had pulled my front shoes off. At this point I would also like it noted that I was NOT charging Dad “like a maddened bull on speed” but merely trying to encourage him to play chase with me. Honest........

Now mum called Cool New Shoes Man and being the Cool Man he is he came straight out to put my shoes back on. Cue him and Dad having a lengthy discussion about how I am too big, too strong and too bolshie for mum and how she should sell me and buy a nice 15.2HH cob to play with. They must think I am DEAF! This got me thinking. Mum threatening to sell me I can deal with as I know she doesn’t mean it really but Dad and CNSM were quite serious. So I embarked upon “be very nice to mum” week.

She rode me on Monday – I was a star (even if I do say so myself)

She rode me on Tuesday – I did a passable dressage test (Boglands Quaver was in the house if you know what I’m saying. And if you do know what I’m saying would you explain it to me because I wasn’t in a house I was in a ménage – I know these expression make me sound down with the kids but I swear half of them don’t make sense...............)

She rode me Wednesday – I did some decent lateral work, led on the correct canter strike off and demonstrated my rather mean turn on the forehand.

Yesterday she gave me off but still I cuddled her, walked in nicely with Hot Stepper, offered her each foot in turn to pick out and didn’t use her as a tissue. I did briefly stop for a snog with my ladies on the way out of the stables but worked on the treat them mean approach – gave all three a quick kiss on the muzzle and kept walking. Just call me Romeo ladies........

Today we went out for a hack and after a shaky start when I started to leave the yard before mum had actually got on (oooopppps) I didn’t put a hairy foot wrong. We trotted (with only minor whimpering from mum about her leg), we cantered (and I produced my best Moorland Dorritos poncy canter as I know mum likes that), we walked past scary pheasant feeder things and some men with a very noisy box and a lot of big machines at the side of the road. Well we half passed past them but I was only showing off my moves and not being a big girls blouse as mum did sarcastically suggest. I did minorly blot my copy book by nearly falling over my own feet on the way home across the fields but I was keeping a wary eye on a tractor of terror in the next field and didn’t see the hole. After pointing out I was an idiot mum did affectionately pull my ears and tell me I was a good boy so I think all is still well. Phew!

I returned mum safely home, actually waited until she’d got off before bending in two to wipe my sweating face down my feathers, didn’t rub myself all over her and gave her a gentle kiss instead. If I creep much more they’re going to start calling me bug boy. I walked very politely to the field, didn’t try to bite Hot Stepper on the way past and allowed mum to embarrass me by hugging me in front of the others.

So Operation “don’t let mum listen to CNSM and Dad and sell me” is going well. Any ideas of other things I could try?

I am apparently due to be clipped this weekend as I’m sweating like a lizard on an Aga so I’m assuming Dad will do it. I’m thinking I ought to be nice to him too although I am tempted to bite him on the bum. Sell me indeed!

Anyway mum tells me today that plans are nearly ready for the Bransby raffle to raffle off copies of my book that someone has written on (how blinking RUDE!) and a chance to meet me. No doubt mum will tell you all about it this week some time. In the mean time I am off to eat some grass and figure out how to make mum a nice cake or something using grass, hedge clippings and a few fallen leaves. Tricky huh?
 
Resist the temptation to be anything other than nice and co-operative to Dad if he clips you. Honestly, it will be best in the long-run! A bit of minor jigging around is okay, but anything more really won't be good. Trust me on this one.

Love from Dolly
 
thumbsup.gif
Brilliant
 
Perhaps you could persuade mum to sell dad instead? Wouldn't that mean you would get even more attention? On the other hand, it might mean that you didn't get big dinners and visits from CNSM any more...
 
Thanks Hovis - you've cheered me up after just found my horse has gone lame and was supposed to be doing my first BD tomorrow:(.

p.s. my entire family are getting your book for christmas!:D
 
Top