Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear Diary
Crikey what a week I have had! Full of ups and downs and mother having some sort of brain fart. More on that in a moment....
So this last week saw the arrival of the new girl on the yard. She is ginger with a white blaze and two very cute white stockings. Stockings........... huummmmmmm........... She is 8 years old and went up in my opinion when she bit her new brother on the nose 5 minutes after meeting him. I love a girl with attitude! Anyway as everyone was falling over themselves to meet her I decided to play it cool and ignore her apart from sending her some sexily smouldering looks across the barn. All the highly bred ones tried a snog and she wasnt keen so I bided my time and waited until shed realised she needed a real man. Then the other morning my moment came. Mum led me out and the fit orange one pushed her nose towards me, ears pricked with a hello big boy expression in her eyes (well ok that last bit might be an exaggeration bit in my head thats what she was thinking). Mum allowed me to lean in to her and I gently nuzzled her nose. Well actually I accidentally pulled out a whisker and she screamed the place down but she came back for some full tongue action seconds later. So we kissed romantically then on mums advice I walked away giving her a parting smouldering look on the way out of the door. Cool eh? Apart from falling flat on my face two seconds later smouldering and moving are quite hard things to do together.....
News of this romantic interlude had obviously reached Dollys ears because after several days of totally ignoring me shes been all over me like a rash since. This in turn has triggered Frilly to start trying to kiss me in a morning too so Im one happy little Destroyer at the moment. For once mother appears to have been right about the treat em mean, keep em keen approach. Mother is right about very little but on this one I do concede.
What mother is NOT right about is her decision to make me wear a bra. Last week some person called Bossy sent me a bib to wear. I thought this meant like a sports bib like footballers wear but no I am wearing a very very large bra. Or even worse from a distance you could think its a girdle. I have no issues with the little bald patch that was forming on my shoulder it made me look manly. Wearing a bra does not. Even worse when mum got it stuck over my head this morning and then fell about laughing apparently I looked like something called rent-a-ghost? I tell you getting undressed and dressed again is happening at lightning speed I cant have fit ginger bird seeing me wearing mares undergarments. They will be calling me Hovisetta at this rate.....
This morning we were due to go out hacking with Billy but his mum couldnt go so mum and I did some schooling (yawn) then went round some of the fields on our own. I am seeing all the signs of mum taking this confidence stuff again and it alarms me. Admittedly I didnt cover myself in glory when I saw a small ginger ninja lurking in the grass and took immediate evasive action. The fact it turned out to be a pile of baling twine is immaterial if it HAD been something dangerous I would have saved us. Alas Im not sure mum quite saw it that way, unless suggesting once again that mum didnt know my dad (whilst heaving herself back into the saddle from a position best described as precarious) was an expression of delight? Oh and falling over my own feet on the way back onto the yard apparently wasnt well received either. Oooopppps!
So today I am scouring the hedges looking for some of that stuff you snog under so that my trio of lovely ladies can take full advantage of me this Christmas time. Its tough being a lady killer but someones got to do it. Laters..........
PS Thank you so so much to all who have bought my book (although why wouldn't you i am a very funny horse?). We have raised over £5000 for Bransby so far so thank you on behalf of the less fortunate horses than me (although I bet none on them are being made to wear a bra
)
Crikey what a week I have had! Full of ups and downs and mother having some sort of brain fart. More on that in a moment....
So this last week saw the arrival of the new girl on the yard. She is ginger with a white blaze and two very cute white stockings. Stockings........... huummmmmmm........... She is 8 years old and went up in my opinion when she bit her new brother on the nose 5 minutes after meeting him. I love a girl with attitude! Anyway as everyone was falling over themselves to meet her I decided to play it cool and ignore her apart from sending her some sexily smouldering looks across the barn. All the highly bred ones tried a snog and she wasnt keen so I bided my time and waited until shed realised she needed a real man. Then the other morning my moment came. Mum led me out and the fit orange one pushed her nose towards me, ears pricked with a hello big boy expression in her eyes (well ok that last bit might be an exaggeration bit in my head thats what she was thinking). Mum allowed me to lean in to her and I gently nuzzled her nose. Well actually I accidentally pulled out a whisker and she screamed the place down but she came back for some full tongue action seconds later. So we kissed romantically then on mums advice I walked away giving her a parting smouldering look on the way out of the door. Cool eh? Apart from falling flat on my face two seconds later smouldering and moving are quite hard things to do together.....
News of this romantic interlude had obviously reached Dollys ears because after several days of totally ignoring me shes been all over me like a rash since. This in turn has triggered Frilly to start trying to kiss me in a morning too so Im one happy little Destroyer at the moment. For once mother appears to have been right about the treat em mean, keep em keen approach. Mother is right about very little but on this one I do concede.
What mother is NOT right about is her decision to make me wear a bra. Last week some person called Bossy sent me a bib to wear. I thought this meant like a sports bib like footballers wear but no I am wearing a very very large bra. Or even worse from a distance you could think its a girdle. I have no issues with the little bald patch that was forming on my shoulder it made me look manly. Wearing a bra does not. Even worse when mum got it stuck over my head this morning and then fell about laughing apparently I looked like something called rent-a-ghost? I tell you getting undressed and dressed again is happening at lightning speed I cant have fit ginger bird seeing me wearing mares undergarments. They will be calling me Hovisetta at this rate.....
This morning we were due to go out hacking with Billy but his mum couldnt go so mum and I did some schooling (yawn) then went round some of the fields on our own. I am seeing all the signs of mum taking this confidence stuff again and it alarms me. Admittedly I didnt cover myself in glory when I saw a small ginger ninja lurking in the grass and took immediate evasive action. The fact it turned out to be a pile of baling twine is immaterial if it HAD been something dangerous I would have saved us. Alas Im not sure mum quite saw it that way, unless suggesting once again that mum didnt know my dad (whilst heaving herself back into the saddle from a position best described as precarious) was an expression of delight? Oh and falling over my own feet on the way back onto the yard apparently wasnt well received either. Oooopppps!
So today I am scouring the hedges looking for some of that stuff you snog under so that my trio of lovely ladies can take full advantage of me this Christmas time. Its tough being a lady killer but someones got to do it. Laters..........
PS Thank you so so much to all who have bought my book (although why wouldn't you i am a very funny horse?). We have raised over £5000 for Bransby so far so thank you on behalf of the less fortunate horses than me (although I bet none on them are being made to wear a bra
)
