Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear Diary
Well hopefully I am back. Mum has finally sorted her fat band issues out and we appear to be back in business hoorah!
Well I have much to tell you so Ill start with the news I think mum has already told you which is book number 2 is on its way. At times I am so amazed by my own talent I have to have a lie down jumping demon, lover of all ladies, sometimes dressage Destroyer and charity author. You think I have any chance of getting one of those knighthood things? I quite like the sound of Sir Hovis and it might just help with the ladies..........
Anyway I may not be here much longer. I am being beasted so heavily into the ground by Aunty Sammie I fear that I am fading away. She made me ride out the other day in rain so heavy you couldnt see the road for water, my mane was plastered to my face, I had more water pouring off my nose than off Niagara falls and for those of you with a hose pipe ban you could have watered your plants for a month with what came out of my coat when we got home. I was not amused.
Still we are doing lots of hacking and only abit of schooling to get me fit so Aunty Sammie can take me out competing again. Last Sunday mum and aunty Sarah were hanging about the yard when aunty Sammie got there so I was confused as to what was happening. The high steeping river dance reject was on sick leave hed hurt his back so I knew we werent going out hacking so when aunty Sammie rode me into the ménage I was despondent/. Until mum and aunty Sarah started to put jumps up! Yeeehaaaa! Now Aunty Sammie is one serious jumping aunty so when mum put the jumps up to the height she and I normally jump, aunty Sammie sniggered, jumped it and yelled that they werent high enough. Thats my girl!! So up they went, and up and up and up. I tell you I had WINGS! Aunty Sammie seemed very surprised at my keenness and talent and confessed she hadnt been looking forward to trying to get me over jumps. EXCUSE ME? Get ME over the jumps? Worry about yourself lady I know what Im doing. Just because mum likes to go over things that she could jump over herself doesnt mean there isnt show jumping blood in these manly veins. I freely admit to hating dressage and so am not the most responsive to cantering in circles normally but you put a jump up and thats a whole different ball game. By the end Aunty Sam was panting like a dirty phone call whereas I was soaring over jumps like a lark. Well a feathery very well built lark.....
As usual news of my jumping talents spread like wild fire and I snogged Dolly, Frilly and Flare that night on the way in. I SO need to get invited to this jumping party in July imagine the ladies I could pull..........
I have been out for many more hacks and other than one night when Aunty Sam foolish decided to go out without a wing man, and after meeting two tractors of terror simultaneously I decided to show her pirouettes that would put Darcy Bushell to shame all has been great.
Then the other day Cool New Shoes Man came along with Junior Cool New shoes Man who I have to say is far smarter than his father. His dad managed to only bring two new shoes for me when quite clearly I have four feet. His defence was he thought he could do refits on my back shoes but due to the boot camp beastings my back ones were worn too. Personally I think his new foal has inherited whatever brains cells he had left and he needs a diagram to show him all my legs. He then pretended to shave my feathers off and posted pictures on facebook. All I can say is hes a brave man it would have been RIP CNSM if hed actually done it..............
So he had to come back to do my back feet and in doing so brought Evil Army Man with him. Back up I thought in case mum kills him. Alas no EAM had come to do my teeth with his drill thing. I really like the man but seriously he is starting to worry me cuddling and scratching me whilst telling me how great I am. Dude there are ladies about please pack it in. Its bad enough that my field mate and shadow is very in touch with his feminine side without EAM dribbling in my ear. Needless to say unlike the others I was a total dude to have my teeth done and they even considered doing both my feet and teeth at the same time as I am just so cool. Mother did manage to persuade them this was a bad idea and so they both hung around and drank tea. None of which came my way sadly.
So despite a week in which I have been so soggy you could grow cress on me, all is good in my world. Dolly seems keen again at the moment and so a few crafty snogs have been had. I have to make the most of it next week she wont be talking to me again........
Im off hacking with Aunty Sam in the morning whilst mum goes to some library to do a talk on MY book. I dont know how she feels qualified to discuss my writing talent but apparently I wont fit in the library and theres not much there except books. Boring.
So keep your ears pricked for further news on my next book my agent will no doubt fill you in. Once again all the money is going to horses less fortunate than me (how anyone cannot say I am not deprived is beyond me I am positively anorexic) and I will not gain even a carrot from my efforts. Mum says that makes me a good person and I will earn my place in heaven. Unless they have a seriously large amount of carrots and a LOT of fit angel mares then this is holding little appeal. Perhaps I need a new agent to negotiate better deals. Any volunteers?
Well hopefully I am back. Mum has finally sorted her fat band issues out and we appear to be back in business hoorah!
Well I have much to tell you so Ill start with the news I think mum has already told you which is book number 2 is on its way. At times I am so amazed by my own talent I have to have a lie down jumping demon, lover of all ladies, sometimes dressage Destroyer and charity author. You think I have any chance of getting one of those knighthood things? I quite like the sound of Sir Hovis and it might just help with the ladies..........
Anyway I may not be here much longer. I am being beasted so heavily into the ground by Aunty Sammie I fear that I am fading away. She made me ride out the other day in rain so heavy you couldnt see the road for water, my mane was plastered to my face, I had more water pouring off my nose than off Niagara falls and for those of you with a hose pipe ban you could have watered your plants for a month with what came out of my coat when we got home. I was not amused.
Still we are doing lots of hacking and only abit of schooling to get me fit so Aunty Sammie can take me out competing again. Last Sunday mum and aunty Sarah were hanging about the yard when aunty Sammie got there so I was confused as to what was happening. The high steeping river dance reject was on sick leave hed hurt his back so I knew we werent going out hacking so when aunty Sammie rode me into the ménage I was despondent/. Until mum and aunty Sarah started to put jumps up! Yeeehaaaa! Now Aunty Sammie is one serious jumping aunty so when mum put the jumps up to the height she and I normally jump, aunty Sammie sniggered, jumped it and yelled that they werent high enough. Thats my girl!! So up they went, and up and up and up. I tell you I had WINGS! Aunty Sammie seemed very surprised at my keenness and talent and confessed she hadnt been looking forward to trying to get me over jumps. EXCUSE ME? Get ME over the jumps? Worry about yourself lady I know what Im doing. Just because mum likes to go over things that she could jump over herself doesnt mean there isnt show jumping blood in these manly veins. I freely admit to hating dressage and so am not the most responsive to cantering in circles normally but you put a jump up and thats a whole different ball game. By the end Aunty Sam was panting like a dirty phone call whereas I was soaring over jumps like a lark. Well a feathery very well built lark.....
As usual news of my jumping talents spread like wild fire and I snogged Dolly, Frilly and Flare that night on the way in. I SO need to get invited to this jumping party in July imagine the ladies I could pull..........
I have been out for many more hacks and other than one night when Aunty Sam foolish decided to go out without a wing man, and after meeting two tractors of terror simultaneously I decided to show her pirouettes that would put Darcy Bushell to shame all has been great.
Then the other day Cool New Shoes Man came along with Junior Cool New shoes Man who I have to say is far smarter than his father. His dad managed to only bring two new shoes for me when quite clearly I have four feet. His defence was he thought he could do refits on my back shoes but due to the boot camp beastings my back ones were worn too. Personally I think his new foal has inherited whatever brains cells he had left and he needs a diagram to show him all my legs. He then pretended to shave my feathers off and posted pictures on facebook. All I can say is hes a brave man it would have been RIP CNSM if hed actually done it..............
So he had to come back to do my back feet and in doing so brought Evil Army Man with him. Back up I thought in case mum kills him. Alas no EAM had come to do my teeth with his drill thing. I really like the man but seriously he is starting to worry me cuddling and scratching me whilst telling me how great I am. Dude there are ladies about please pack it in. Its bad enough that my field mate and shadow is very in touch with his feminine side without EAM dribbling in my ear. Needless to say unlike the others I was a total dude to have my teeth done and they even considered doing both my feet and teeth at the same time as I am just so cool. Mother did manage to persuade them this was a bad idea and so they both hung around and drank tea. None of which came my way sadly.
So despite a week in which I have been so soggy you could grow cress on me, all is good in my world. Dolly seems keen again at the moment and so a few crafty snogs have been had. I have to make the most of it next week she wont be talking to me again........
Im off hacking with Aunty Sam in the morning whilst mum goes to some library to do a talk on MY book. I dont know how she feels qualified to discuss my writing talent but apparently I wont fit in the library and theres not much there except books. Boring.
So keep your ears pricked for further news on my next book my agent will no doubt fill you in. Once again all the money is going to horses less fortunate than me (how anyone cannot say I am not deprived is beyond me I am positively anorexic) and I will not gain even a carrot from my efforts. Mum says that makes me a good person and I will earn my place in heaven. Unless they have a seriously large amount of carrots and a LOT of fit angel mares then this is holding little appeal. Perhaps I need a new agent to negotiate better deals. Any volunteers?
Great to have you back x