Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear diary
I start this diary with an apology. An apology for my slightly special needs mother who apparently found it highly amusing to scare you all to death pretending I had been kidnapped and replaced by a hippo. Her post was a disgrace on several counts:
1. I am not a bayish roanish Clydesdale that makes me sound common. I am a bay roan sabino with interesting flecking and lovely highlights.
2. I do NOT have lovely fluffy white feathers. I have manly white feathers to assist in my aerodynamics over fences
3. I do not currently resemble a black slimy creature from the black lagoon. I am wearing manly camouflage cream to help me show the ladies how machismo I am. I am currently looking for a red headband to complete the look anyone know where I can buy one from? For a mouth full of chaff and a half eaten apple?
4. Did you see what she offered for my safe return? How much of an insult was THAT! I am worth millions in ransom not a handful of loose change and some ratty mints. Well I quite fancied the ratty mints but then I am easy to please.
So in light of this insult I would like to say sorry to anyone who was distressed by the thought of me being dragged off into the night by masked thieves (who may have plaited my mane the night before). To those of you not upset by this thought why not?
To any mares thinking that kidnapping me sounded like fun I am always open to being kidnapped by a bunch of fit ladies in a blacked out pink horse box. In fact its swiftly developed into a bit of a fantasy. Hubba hubba! Ill be your boy slave ladies anything to actually get some action.........
Anyway moving on from my mothers indiscretions well one of them. Wed be here all day and Id have written a book the length of the entire JR Tolkien set if I had to list ALL of mums indiscretions........
This week has mainly seen rain, and more rain and a bit more rain for good measure. Still this does not deter Aunty Sammie from making me go out and work in it. I need someone to explain the concept of fair weather riding to Aunt Sam she doesnt seem to get the concept. So whilst everyone else has been sheltering in the barn Ive been out hacking in all weathers. She proudly told mum the other day that my girth is doing up more holes thats nothing to be proud of woman, youre working me into the ground!
Were still on our transition phase into the new fields and dolly disgraced herself yesterday by screaming g the place down the entire time she was taken to the new fields. She wouldnt eat and just screamed. I like to think this was because I wasnt there to protect her and indeed she was very keen when she got back. The day I figure that mare out is the day I win the Grand National I think.......
Flare the youngest mare on the yard is in the mood as well as at the minute and calls for me constantly. Well I think she calls for anything with a dingle-aling between his legs but heh Ill take what I can get. Sloppy seconds is my middle name.....
Well at present Im out on the small bit of new filed that mum allows me before heading back to be the meat in the Dolly and Hot Stepper sandwich. Metaphorically speaking I mean anything else would be plain wrong. I am going to be glad to move to the new fields soon as I get to keep dolly and ditch hot stepper. Mum might be grateful too when she figures out its him trimming my mane for me.........
So later no doubt I shall be forced out into the blinding rain for yet another fittening hack. Having seen the photos of the mud packs some of you have applied Im thinking if I do the same and lie down really still then mum and Aunt Sam wont find me. What do you think?
I start this diary with an apology. An apology for my slightly special needs mother who apparently found it highly amusing to scare you all to death pretending I had been kidnapped and replaced by a hippo. Her post was a disgrace on several counts:
1. I am not a bayish roanish Clydesdale that makes me sound common. I am a bay roan sabino with interesting flecking and lovely highlights.
2. I do NOT have lovely fluffy white feathers. I have manly white feathers to assist in my aerodynamics over fences
3. I do not currently resemble a black slimy creature from the black lagoon. I am wearing manly camouflage cream to help me show the ladies how machismo I am. I am currently looking for a red headband to complete the look anyone know where I can buy one from? For a mouth full of chaff and a half eaten apple?
4. Did you see what she offered for my safe return? How much of an insult was THAT! I am worth millions in ransom not a handful of loose change and some ratty mints. Well I quite fancied the ratty mints but then I am easy to please.
So in light of this insult I would like to say sorry to anyone who was distressed by the thought of me being dragged off into the night by masked thieves (who may have plaited my mane the night before). To those of you not upset by this thought why not?
To any mares thinking that kidnapping me sounded like fun I am always open to being kidnapped by a bunch of fit ladies in a blacked out pink horse box. In fact its swiftly developed into a bit of a fantasy. Hubba hubba! Ill be your boy slave ladies anything to actually get some action.........
Anyway moving on from my mothers indiscretions well one of them. Wed be here all day and Id have written a book the length of the entire JR Tolkien set if I had to list ALL of mums indiscretions........
This week has mainly seen rain, and more rain and a bit more rain for good measure. Still this does not deter Aunty Sammie from making me go out and work in it. I need someone to explain the concept of fair weather riding to Aunt Sam she doesnt seem to get the concept. So whilst everyone else has been sheltering in the barn Ive been out hacking in all weathers. She proudly told mum the other day that my girth is doing up more holes thats nothing to be proud of woman, youre working me into the ground!
Were still on our transition phase into the new fields and dolly disgraced herself yesterday by screaming g the place down the entire time she was taken to the new fields. She wouldnt eat and just screamed. I like to think this was because I wasnt there to protect her and indeed she was very keen when she got back. The day I figure that mare out is the day I win the Grand National I think.......
Flare the youngest mare on the yard is in the mood as well as at the minute and calls for me constantly. Well I think she calls for anything with a dingle-aling between his legs but heh Ill take what I can get. Sloppy seconds is my middle name.....
Well at present Im out on the small bit of new filed that mum allows me before heading back to be the meat in the Dolly and Hot Stepper sandwich. Metaphorically speaking I mean anything else would be plain wrong. I am going to be glad to move to the new fields soon as I get to keep dolly and ditch hot stepper. Mum might be grateful too when she figures out its him trimming my mane for me.........
So later no doubt I shall be forced out into the blinding rain for yet another fittening hack. Having seen the photos of the mud packs some of you have applied Im thinking if I do the same and lie down really still then mum and Aunt Sam wont find me. What do you think?
)
