Hovis_and_SidsMum
Well-Known Member
Dear Diary
By the time you all read this I may have perished. Alone, unloved, abandoned and cold. Officially my mother doesnt love me anymore and her neglect has reached epic new heights of evilness. I love her with all my heart but Im not sure even I can forgive her this, for this week she has made me sleep OUTSIDE! Thats right outside in the cold, the fog, the rain (well ok I exaggerate its not rained in weeks), the wind and with wild animals (those rabbits can really sneak up on you at night). What happened to being tucked up each night in my sawdust, with my PJs on, supping water and munching hay? What on earth have I done to deserve this? Ok the morning before she callously threw me out like a used sock I had made a bit of a fuss about the time she turned up and had thrown everything across the stables. But everyone else was outside and I was a little bored. This in turn triggered Mum to decide she would follow the lead of all the other uncaring parents here and make me reside outside all summer. I Have NEVER slept outside do I look like a sheep or one of those ugly pink things with big ears and a funny nose? I am a higher being and as such should be treated with some respect. I have tried sulking but its not working and she seems unswayed in her view point that Im big enough and ugly enough to cope with living out this summer. Life is SO unfair. Can someone send me a duvet in the post? And maybe a hammock thing to lie on? Im not sure the ground is doing my manly muscles any good at all more to the point I have to be careful where I lie to avoid squashing the grass. Do you all sleep with your dinner? No I think not? One rule for one and another for another eh?
In other news Aunty Sarah (who used to own my beloved fit mare and who has been at another yard for a while) has bought a new horse and hes come to live at our place for a while. Im not sure what hes called but the dude is one seriously hot stepper. The way he ponces up the field is totally uncalled for if he lifts his knees any higher hell give himself a nose bleed. If you can imagine a very large brown lizard on a hot tin roof youve got an image of this dude. I think he look ridiculous alas the totty on the yard dont seem to share my view point and are positively slobbering over him. Why when Ive just got established as the yards hot stuff does Aunty Sarah have to bring the equine version of Michael Flatley to the yard? Hes foreign and apparently a similar make and model to fancy pants. Thatll be interesting then .
He does appear to be as big a poof as fancy pants was as he seems to feel the need to run across the field every time a worm sticks its head out of the ground. Wimp. Hes also tried to pal up with Arnie which does look absolutely hilarious as Arnie barely reaches Hot Steppers knees. I did over hear him ask who Arnie hunts with but didnt hear Arnies answer. Im not sure Hot Stepper has the brains to know that the only things munchkins like Arnie hunt are steps to stand on.. Weirdo.
So this morning, after being left out last night with no rug on I hasten to add, I have been hauled out of my field at an ungodly hour (I can tell Aunty Sarah is back shes the only one uncivilised enough to hack before 9am) to baby sit Hot Stepper with Dad. Mum has wisely refused to go until we know what he does not difficult to guess Mum is it? If he wets his Dutch pants at a worm hes going to have apoplexy at some of the tractors of terror that live around here. Before we had even set off the dude was leaping about like hed got the biting fences attached to his bum so I have already marked him up as a failure as a wing man. Billy I love you dude (in a manly bromance kind of a way obviously). The hack went on to prove that he is a very large wimp and it took him half way round to stop behaving like hed got ants in his pants. For a dude thats hunted he seems to have an aversion to dogs which is a little odd. Mum now seems fit to tell me that the dude whipped in for the last season great not only does he prance about like a fairy he also is into some kinky stuff too . Keep him away from me.
I will give him his due he is fit, although I think my sweat was mainly due to concern for my safety a combo of Dad and aunty Sarah plus that loon is enough to make any boy sweat I tell you. Im not sure I like Aunty Sarah being back with us early morning hacking seems to be back on the agenda and long ones seem to be the order of the day Im going to be the size of the TB by the time the gruesome twosome have finished with me. So Im off to lie exhaustedly in the sunshine and ponder how I can convince Hot Stepper to take a chill pill. Laters
By the time you all read this I may have perished. Alone, unloved, abandoned and cold. Officially my mother doesnt love me anymore and her neglect has reached epic new heights of evilness. I love her with all my heart but Im not sure even I can forgive her this, for this week she has made me sleep OUTSIDE! Thats right outside in the cold, the fog, the rain (well ok I exaggerate its not rained in weeks), the wind and with wild animals (those rabbits can really sneak up on you at night). What happened to being tucked up each night in my sawdust, with my PJs on, supping water and munching hay? What on earth have I done to deserve this? Ok the morning before she callously threw me out like a used sock I had made a bit of a fuss about the time she turned up and had thrown everything across the stables. But everyone else was outside and I was a little bored. This in turn triggered Mum to decide she would follow the lead of all the other uncaring parents here and make me reside outside all summer. I Have NEVER slept outside do I look like a sheep or one of those ugly pink things with big ears and a funny nose? I am a higher being and as such should be treated with some respect. I have tried sulking but its not working and she seems unswayed in her view point that Im big enough and ugly enough to cope with living out this summer. Life is SO unfair. Can someone send me a duvet in the post? And maybe a hammock thing to lie on? Im not sure the ground is doing my manly muscles any good at all more to the point I have to be careful where I lie to avoid squashing the grass. Do you all sleep with your dinner? No I think not? One rule for one and another for another eh?
In other news Aunty Sarah (who used to own my beloved fit mare and who has been at another yard for a while) has bought a new horse and hes come to live at our place for a while. Im not sure what hes called but the dude is one seriously hot stepper. The way he ponces up the field is totally uncalled for if he lifts his knees any higher hell give himself a nose bleed. If you can imagine a very large brown lizard on a hot tin roof youve got an image of this dude. I think he look ridiculous alas the totty on the yard dont seem to share my view point and are positively slobbering over him. Why when Ive just got established as the yards hot stuff does Aunty Sarah have to bring the equine version of Michael Flatley to the yard? Hes foreign and apparently a similar make and model to fancy pants. Thatll be interesting then .
He does appear to be as big a poof as fancy pants was as he seems to feel the need to run across the field every time a worm sticks its head out of the ground. Wimp. Hes also tried to pal up with Arnie which does look absolutely hilarious as Arnie barely reaches Hot Steppers knees. I did over hear him ask who Arnie hunts with but didnt hear Arnies answer. Im not sure Hot Stepper has the brains to know that the only things munchkins like Arnie hunt are steps to stand on.. Weirdo.
So this morning, after being left out last night with no rug on I hasten to add, I have been hauled out of my field at an ungodly hour (I can tell Aunty Sarah is back shes the only one uncivilised enough to hack before 9am) to baby sit Hot Stepper with Dad. Mum has wisely refused to go until we know what he does not difficult to guess Mum is it? If he wets his Dutch pants at a worm hes going to have apoplexy at some of the tractors of terror that live around here. Before we had even set off the dude was leaping about like hed got the biting fences attached to his bum so I have already marked him up as a failure as a wing man. Billy I love you dude (in a manly bromance kind of a way obviously). The hack went on to prove that he is a very large wimp and it took him half way round to stop behaving like hed got ants in his pants. For a dude thats hunted he seems to have an aversion to dogs which is a little odd. Mum now seems fit to tell me that the dude whipped in for the last season great not only does he prance about like a fairy he also is into some kinky stuff too . Keep him away from me.
I will give him his due he is fit, although I think my sweat was mainly due to concern for my safety a combo of Dad and aunty Sarah plus that loon is enough to make any boy sweat I tell you. Im not sure I like Aunty Sarah being back with us early morning hacking seems to be back on the agenda and long ones seem to be the order of the day Im going to be the size of the TB by the time the gruesome twosome have finished with me. So Im off to lie exhaustedly in the sunshine and ponder how I can convince Hot Stepper to take a chill pill. Laters