How can i put it without seeming heartless.

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rema

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A good friend of mine has a 17 year old Spaniel x.The dear old boy is full of tumours,his eyesight is going and he is having trouble eating because of a large tumour growing on his face behind his jaw (which is now starting leak/seep by the looks of it).He also has got the doggy version of ibs but is not in any pain as been regularly seen by the same vet for all his life..Now dont get me wrong he is still spritely and still goes for his walks although a much shorter route.The owner knows the time is near and she will not let him suffer but i have and a few other people have said the dog will let her know when it's time...to me the dog is now telling her it's time,but i know it's not my decision to make but the owner keeps asking me if i think its time.Yes i think it's time but i know it will break her heart..so how can i put it diplomatic?.Any advice please.
 
just next time she asks just say yes you think its time ?

she prob just needs the reasurance of someone agreeing and sharing the responsibility ,sounds to me like she already knows its time ,just needs a little nudge in right direction.
why not offer to go with her or take the dog for her ,she maybe doesn't want to go herself and is looking to you for a little reasurance
 
She wants him to be pts at home and the vet is pretty much on stand by so to speak.I have told her that i will be there if she needs me to,and if she cannot go through it i have said that i can stay with him while it is done.Yes i think you are right she needs reassurance that it is the right thing to do.I went through a very similar stage a couple of years ago with my own dog and she knows this.I think the guilt is starting to set in and the what if he miraculously gets better.
 
I went through the very same thing just recently. A lady had her very elderly sheep dog (the last remaining live link to her departed husband) and the poor dog was nearly off its legs but it was so gentle and quiet, it didn't actually show any pain but it had gone off its food and almost off its back legs :(

She asked me, more than once, what to do and I know how it puts you on the spot, but I bent down, stroked and dog and told her not to let him lose his dignity, his time has come hasn't it and I know how heartbreaking it was for her but it had to be done, etc etc.

She called the vet out and the vet immediately took the decision anyway which made her feel better. The dog is now buried down by the pond next to her late husbands ashes - so sad :(
 
Yes Ravenwood it is hard.She keeps saying that she wants to wake up and find him gone, wouldn't that be a lovely ending for so many people who have poorly animals.I doubt there are many who have had that.I think i'm going to have to do what you did and tell her gently that it's time.
The poor lady has a daughter who is due to give birth to her first grandchild in three weeks and she would love to get a photo of the baby and the dog.You know they say ..one goes out and another comes in..do you think it's the same for human to animals?.
 
I know that feeling when you pray you will find them dead in the morning, but it rarely happens, and I think your friend is probably just looking for reassurance from someone that it is time to let her old dog go. So sad, but it sounds as if it might be unfair to try and keep the dog going until the grandchild is born.
 
Yes MM.I think you are right.I don't think he will still be here to see the grandchild.Every day is going to be a day nearer.I will speak to her in the morning.Thanks guys for your help.
 
Good luck Rema -I know exactly what it is like to be in your position and the owner is very obviously grabbing at straws to get the timing right but unfortunately, as you know, animals or dogs don't realise the same timeline as we do. But if you can give her the hope that one door closes and another door opens perhaps that will give her the boost to get the poor dog pts - what an awfully sad situation.

However - it is very obviously evident that the dog has lived a loving life and what a lucky dog, whatever happens the owner will justify it as we all do when we make that decision xx
 
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