How can I stop worrying?

[Hippophilia]

Does anyone else feel they spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about their horse? I bought my veteran TB mare in the summer and she is my first horse, although I have ridden for over 20 years. I never seem to feel confident that I'm giving her the best care and it drives me mad. I'm not riding at the moment (pregnant) but when I was and we had a bad day - a bit of napping, stiffness on one side or whatever - I would feel like I was ruining her for good. Now that its well and truly winter I spend a a crazy amount of time looking at the weather forecast and worrying about her rugs - when its on I worry she'll overheat, when its off I worry that she'll freeze....and so on. She's at grass livery at the yard where I teach and where she was a lesson horse for 5 years. The YO used to compete with her and knows her inside out, so I supoose I feel like my every move is being judged (but probably is'nt).
I feel like a neurotic crazy lady and wish I could just relax and enjoy my girl. Any tips? I have thought of moving yards to make her feel more 'mine' - if that makes sense?

 

[kirstykate]

Its human nature to worry!!! But I think because you worry so much you will be looking after your pony just fine

 

[LouS]

I am terrible, I'd have the vet out every week if my bank balance would allow.

I think it stems from my gelding being so, so poorly one year that we nearly lost him. Since then every little thing worries me, is he a bit quiet, is he a bit stiff, is he sound, is that a cough, is he too hot, is he too cold, is his bed too dusty, is he eating too much/not enough???? I'm sure people laugh at me for it but I can't help it and better over-cautious than not cautious enough. I'm sure the vets have a good laugh at me too, I really don't mind!

I've been trying really hard to just relax and wait and see rather than worry about what awful things could manifest from that runny nose. Its good that you care. Why not have a look around at the yards in your area and see how you feel about them?

 

[Gilbey]

I've been in the equestrian business for 40 years and I still worry perhaps instead of worrying about what the YO thinks you could just ask her advise on rugs etc. Maybe you might be best moving so you can feel more relaxed? You will have to discuss this with your OH and see what he thinks, as you don't need stress with a baby coming. Good Luck

 

[LauraWheeler]

I worry all the time. I've been worse since Lucy, my old mares illness and my dog ate slugpellets. I constantly worry my boys are lame or unwell. I have to check on them constantly (luckly I'm able to keep them were I live). I wake up at night and worry if they are ok or if someone is stealing them (although I can't think who would want them ). I also worry about my dog. He sleeps on the bed (I know I know ) and even under the duvet. I often wake up at night and have to check he's still breathing.
Gosh if your a neurotic crazy lady what am I
Sorry i'm prob not much help am I. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and send some ((((((((((hugs))))))))). Hopefully someone else may be able to give you some advice. I'll check back as it may help me to .

In the mean time maybe we could start a neurotic crazy lady horse owners Clique thingy

 

[LaurenBay]

You are not alone! Im a worry wart too! I have had my Horse since May and shes my first Horse. I always spend the car journey home worrying. Have I rememberd to close door, given enough hay, rugged accordingly. Drives me crazy. But its always better too care far too much then care too little!

 

[Ginger Bear]

I'm a worrier and if I'm bad.. I always ask myself will my horse be dead in the morning if I do xxxxx.. If he will live through the night it's not worth worrying about

 

[Bikerchickone]

I think it's a sign that you're a good and caring owner!

There's two schools of thought on worrying though, one is "Why bother it doesn't make any difference" and the other is "All that worrying must have done some good because nothing's gone wrong!"

I think we're probably all somewhere in the middle though! If all else fails ask the vet for ACP, that should mellow you right out! (I am just kidding before anyone takes that seriously, should I add a disclaimer...?)

 

[Mare Stare]

I'm the opposite. I only worry about my horses if a leg falls off or there is something that obviously needs attention. But I also do the same to me and the kids - haven't seen a doctor for years. I begrudge having to see the midwife because I can't be arsed with all the clucking and fuss that comes with pregnancy.

But then I do think I am too laidback.

Still, noone has died yet.

 

[nikicb]

I can't understand how you can be so worried - you would never ever find me getting up every hour and a half at night to check a horse who didn't look right when I put him to bed. Never ever.

Actually totally understand about the 'being mine' bit. I bought a horse from the YO once and he never felt mine. And when I sold him because he tried to kill me and several other people that rode him, that was very difficult and shortly afterwards, I left the yard (with my other horse). Never again. (BTW I sold him to someone who was also on the same yard so knew what he did, and she too never really got him to do what she wanted, just in case anyone thinks I sold him to some unsuspecting person.)

However, if your horse is in livery, and you are not totally responsible for the stable management side, I would let the worrying go. How fantastic is it that your YO knows your horse so well and would spot her being a bit off. And don't forget the pregnancy hormones, they're enough to make anyone a worry wart. xx

ETA I worry about my three cats - I can't sleep unless they are in at night. Don't worry about the children much though - as long as they are still eating, they're fine.

 

[Bikerchickone]

I'm the opposite. I only worry about my horses if a leg falls off or there is something that obviously needs attention. But I also do the same to me and the kids - haven't seen a doctor for years. I begrudge having to see the midwife because I can't be arsed with all the clucking and fuss that comes with pregnancy.

But then I do think I am too laidback.

Still, noone has died yet.

That blows my theory of the worrying preventing the problems out of the water then!!!

 

[nikicb]

You are not alone! Im a worry wart too! I have had my Horse since May and shes my first Horse. I always spend the car journey home worrying. Have I rememberd to close door, given enough hay, rugged accordingly. Drives me crazy. But its always better too care far too much then care too little!

My checklist when I used to leave my horse in livery at night.....

"Feet, hay, water, rug, door, light."

Said out aloud to myself. As long as I had done that, she would survive the night.

 

[bumblelion]

I'm the opposite. I only worry about my horses if a leg falls off or there is something that obviously needs attention. But I also do the same to me and the kids - haven't seen a doctor for years. I begrudge having to see the midwife because I can't be arsed with all the clucking and fuss that comes with pregnancy.

But then I do think I am too laidback.

Still, noone has died yet.

This is me down to a tea! Although now I'm worried as I don't worry enough!!

 

[jeeve]

worrying does not help. thinking ahead, planning, and then putting your feet up and taking it easy because you have done what you need to is the best approach

 

[traceyann]

I worry had horses thirty years im lucky mine in the back garden many a time iv gone to their stables with a torch at two or three oclock in the morning just to check on them. They get the right hump as they were happily snoring

 

[hudsonw]

I worry about everything too.

I worry that...
I've put the wrong rug on, I haven't tied up his hay net right and it could fall down and he gets his legs tangled up or chokes on the cord! I worry that i haven't shut his door to the point where i have to have a secret word so when I'm nearly home and have a panic attack that it's open i remember i said the word when i shut his door...i still have driven back before now to check and in all the years I've had horses I've never left a door unbolted!!
I worry that the grass is to long or we haven't got enough. I worry about the ground conditions, too hard, soft, slippy, stoney etc. I worry if I'm late down to the stables in the morning he'll get ulcers from not having enough hay...he always has a bit left!! I scare myself by reading the veterinary books that he has every disease, virus and life threatening aliment in the book. I worry that i won't recognise if there is something seriously wrong with him.
The list in endless, but he's fine and has survived me being his owner for years, along with very other horse I've had the pleasure of owning, riding or caring for.
Worrying shows you care and your trying your best to look after him. I understand you may feel under pressure with his previous owner being there but you should look at it as a positive that if you need to know any information about your horse because something doesn't look right you have someone who knows him inside and out...and that will be you one day.
It's one of the reasons i'm on a livery yard so i have other experienced owners that can help and give advice and not on my own yard where it would just be me and my worrying thoughts!!
You and your horse are fine...enjoy your time together and try not to (pot, kettle and black!!!) worry!

 

[FairyLights]

But then I do think I am too laidback.

Still, noone has died yet.

I think that says it all. When there is a family history of miscarriage and dead babies and also horses dying because of broken bones and grass sickness --then you worry about your children and horses. I didnt used to bother much but now I almost expect there to be something badly wrong each morning when I visit the yard.

 

[Hippophilia]

Thankyou all! It makes me feel so much better to realise that I am not alone in being a worrier. As my OH frequently points out, the old girl was a lesson horse for years so having an owner to spoil her and feed her warm mash probably means she thinks she has died and gone to heaven! I still wish she was closer to me (it's an hour round trip) but the facilities are good and if I think about it it is a comfort to have a YO who knows her so well. Does'nt make the YO any less of a passive-aggressive crazy lady, but that's another post....

 

[whiteclover]

I used to worry when I had my horse too. Its wasted energy though.

 

[Ladylina83]

Worrying is like praying for your worst fears to come true !

Focus on some good things

 

[Mare Stare]

I think that says it all. When there is a family history of miscarriage and dead babies and also horses dying because of broken bones and grass sickness --then you worry about your children and horses. I didnt used to bother much but now I almost expect there to be something badly wrong each morning when I visit the yard.

Well, having experienced Beau at Death's door because of projectile diarrhoea during a bout of colic where the vet told me not to get my hopes up because he was so skeletal and weak, and nearly losing a child to Meningitis within hours of birth (he now has learning difficulties due to the brain damage he sustained), I really can't see the point of worrying. What will be will be. Worrying just causes people to be ill. I can't be ill - I've got too many people and animals depending on me.

 

[lottie940]

God I worry all the time about everything and it doesn't help that I have a rather mischievous youngster who is a bit of a Houdini!!

I have had to learn that your first horse is a huge learning curve and a lot of it is trial and error. I have an older loan horse and he is kept on the owners yard. Far from worrying that I'm being monitored I make the most of their knowledge of him and I ask if I am not sure. I would much rather ask advice than plough on blindly and end up making a right mess of things. Who cares what they think as long as your horse is well looked after??? I bought my youngster to bring on and it has been an endless journey of learning with him. I have to constantly ask for help/advice and opinions as I was at a loss with him initially.

It's easy for people to tell you to relax and enjoy but it takes a while. I'm sure you are doing better than you think and the extra worrying will mean you are probably being more conscientious of her care than her previous owners were.

 

[1Lucie]

Thank god its not just me!!!!!!!!!!!! I am like this! I always worry i'm doing the right thing. I'm always checking the weather. I research EVERYTHING to the enth degree!