How did you find your confidence building safe saint?

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snowstormII

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For those of you that had your confidence evaporate with an unsuitable horse, who you then managed to sell on to a lovely new home, how did you find a safe and sensible replacement? What wording did you look for in the ad? When you tried it out did you pick something markedly less reactive than the previous one? How did you know he/she was the right one? I have always gone for something with a little sparkle as I am still not quite ready for my horse equivalent of a bath chair, but the last 2 have definitely turned out to have a little too much sparkle, but at the time of purchase I honestly thought they were 'the one'. Any guidance for a hopelessly incurable horse addict!! (I am a good rider by the way, not a dreamer! It is just that with that horse, the confidence bogged off.)
 
Get a sheet of A4 paper and draw 2 lines on it to make 3 columns ;) Then head the columns with
Must have
Would Like
No way Jose

Sit down (while being totally honest with yourself) and fill them in. That will give you the descriptors to look out for while reading ads. Well, it worked for me - I kept wavering between something so quiet that you needed to check the pulse for signs of life which in honesty was what I needed then but I knew would bore me in under a year and the fancy smancy type that I used (note the past tense) to be capable of riding but which would have terrified me now.

Making the list forced me to prioritise what I needed - something reliable - but with a bit, not too much mind, of sparkle, light off the leg (I've arthritic ankles), well schooled, smart looking,rock solid in traffic. I preferred a gelding as the yard I wanted to use only took geldings and ideally it would live out so not a laminitic and 14.2 - 15.2hh, 8 - 12 years old. I really wanted a Highland. Ground manners weren't an issue as I may be a wimp on board but very little bothers me on the ground. Nervy, nappy and rearing were a no go - I already had one of those :eek: I then looked at my budget which was far too small for a saint so the compromises started.

I had to forget about looks and the ideal age and really couldn't afford 'schooled' let alone a nice steady highland. Ok, those I was happy to compromise on, needs must and all that. Good in traffic and forward going but stoppable were non negotiable.I started looking at HW (I've a fat @rse) anything up to 20 yo, and advertised as up to 16hh as I reckoned that most advertised as 16hh would be 15.2 max anyway!

I ended up with a 16yo 14.2 Haflinger who had been driven more than ridden and had spent the last 6 years as a companion who was ridden once or twice a year in that time. He had had concussion laminitis a year or so previously when he was loaned to a driving home. His good points are that he is the nearest thing to bombproof I have ever seen - nothing phases him. He is very forward going but so sensible that as long as you stick with him you are as safe as houses. Bad points are that not only does he live out, he is a vvvvv good doer but fingers crossed has never shown any signs of the dreaded L despite being retired now so not worked. He is very opinionated, he always knows best and is not above a sneaky buck or two to get his own way wrt to speed or direction.He doesn't school in a manège, not a chance!The big, big downside is that I didn't have nearly enough 'riding' years with him because of his age and of course, his retirement is on my dime but I really don't regret buying him.

Excuse the ramble :o just trying to explain my not very logical thinking.
 
Mine was advertised as a happy hacker, a 15.2 Coloured cob called Tinker. I had him on LWVTB. That was 20 months ago. We now do XC showjumping and a bit of dressage. He is a plod, but will go up a few gears when asked. I had never done XC before I had him as I didn't like jumping all that much. But Tinker has given me back my confidence to do these things. We did our first horse camp in August and I can honestly say I had the time of my life, and that's down to him.
 
What r u looking for.. as the riding school near us have a fab coloured cob for sale ..and very nice /kind people to deal with .. The riding school also has holiday lets on site so If he is what u r looking for maybe come and spend a few days with him ?? :)
 
Don't be put off horses that you think lack 'sparkle'. It's much easier to add energy/fizz than to take it away. Go for something that you think may be a little 'ploddy'. With the right attitude, you can feed them up/school them on, but safely and at your pace.

Beware riding school horses, find out how much work its in. Some are fab. Some need 3 hours work a day and some can't think independently. (I am generalising, just keep eyes open)
 
With time, help and a chunk of money.

Whatever horse comes into your live, it will take time to build up confidence in each other (him in you and vice versa). So I think it is always a good idea to have a budget for help in the early days ..... go on little courses, get someone else to XC him first, have lots of lessons, take some groundwork lessons, hacking out lessons .... whatever it takes for you to enjoy and build up the bond.

There have been endless threads on here of people who have bought their confidence giver but it hasn't worked out ..... sometimes it never seems to dawn on them that their end of the bargain is to give the horse the space and security to be a confidence giver!
 
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I'm now sharing a fellow liveries' cob while my tb is on boxrest. I've always felt a bit overhorsed with mine but could never part with him. Anyway, this lady has very kindly let me ride her saint of a horse whenever I want. He's 18, mildly arthritic, a very good doer but my confidence has never been so high. I had my first ever 'in control' gallop on wednesday and loved it! Just trotting through the fields on my tb is scary as he's unpredictable but I felt so safe on this other boy :) i hope when my horse comes back into work that I'll have confidence to canter him on hacks!
However, if I had been looking for a new horse I doubt I would have viewed this cob had he been for sale due to his age and arthritis. Just shows I'll have to be more open minded in future :)
 
Mine was allegedly going to be shot as owner didn't want him back from loan ! Went to look at him, always had cobs (with not a lot of success) this was warmblood with the most awful sway back and he bit, but he never put a foot wrong in nine years, he did wonders for my confidence, never got this back with another horse. He cost me £1!
 
After managing to find a fantastic home for my ginger ISH, a lady who all ways had them suggested I should get a overheight Connemara. It took me 6 months and a good amount of money but I found him. Looked for age 8 or over, schoolmaster, good at show never hots up and also made sure they were not ridden by professionals. When I tried him I did my mum riding ie, swung my legs around became unbalanced dropped the reins, he never batted an eyelid. My main indicator was I felt happy to jump him first time a rode him
 
canteron said:
There have been endless threads on here of people who have bought their confidence giver but it hasn't worked out ..... sometimes it never seems to dawn on them that their end of the bargain is to give the horse the space and security to be a confidence giver!
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And yet we've bought several such horses. I like Ride & Drive horses because they are good in traffic and tend not to be bothered by the unexpected. I agree with cbmcts, you need to decide what is non-negotiable for you and be prepared to compromise on the things that you can put up with, such as colour. I do think some people buy the horse they would like to be able to ride, rather than the horse that they can ride.

My mare was advertised as bombproof but very strong, she had run away with her previous rider. She also bit. Neither of those things worried me but I couldn't cope with something that would jump around in traffic.

I stopped her biting by getting her tack that fits and she has never run away with me, partly because I use a bit with 2 reins, partly because we don't always canter etc in the same places and because I ride her properly. However, neither has she ever spooked in traffic, she goes past pigs/goats/tractors moving ring-feeders/wind-turbines on the move and just about anything else you can think of.
She is very opinionated, understands the rules of the road and knows when it is her right of way and when she should move over or hurry up. She has given us so much to talk and laugh about. We allow, nay encourage, her to be herself.
 
Deliberately under horse yourself. TWICE you've gone for something with 'sparkle' and both times you've frightened yourself. Learn your lesson!

You can always sell on if the horse is boring (which I suspect it won't be. Being actually able to ride, go places and do things, feeling safe and confident is never 'boring' ) You cannot buy back confidence.

As long as the horses is off the leg, it'll be good fun
 
Kallibear said:
Deliberately under horse yourself. TWICE you've gone for something with 'sparkle' and both times you've frightened yourself. Learn your lesson!

You can always sell on if the horse is boring (which I suspect it won't be. Being actually able to ride, go places and do things, feeling safe and confident is never 'boring' ) You cannot buy back confidence.

As long as the horses is off the leg, it'll be good fun
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This ^^^^^^^^^^

Most horses can have a go at anything the average rider will want to do. Only those who wish to compete at a high level will need to compromise on safety to get talent.
 
My saint was Lily, who after 3years turned out to have a bit of a delicate back, not up to my ample poundage.but she never ever scared me. I found her with the help of an 'equine agent' - Ellen Chapman - and would definitely recommend this approach. Not sure why I didn't take my own advice with Lily's replacement!!
 
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