How did you....

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Hanzybaby01

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How did all you lucky ladies manage to persuade your OH's into allowing or being ok with you getting a horse?

Those of you that had issues with them, what was their excuses or reasons as to why they were not keen?:confused:
 
I had mine (ponies that is) before I met my OH. He sometimes gets stroppy as he says I love them more than him. But i've told him he can ask me to choose but he won't like the answer ;) funnily enough he has never asked me to choose :p :D He knows his place Ponies, Dogs, Other animals, OH :o
 
Don't have an OH. Do have 3 horses. Possibly related phenomena, those. Basically, good luck to any guy trying to stop me having horses :eek: He'd need a very firm, good quality codpiece when I introduce him to Mr Anglegrinder...
 
hehe, i don't have a horse yet, or a b/f... but I am deffo more interested in getting a horse first, any potential b/f will just have to accept it!!!

:p
 
OH loves horses as much as me :)
We bought number 5 on Saturday. (well as he put it " she picked I paid")
As AmyMay says, If you can afford a horse - buy one. :D
 
When I met my husband I had two clyde x types and two shetlands (were my mums but she passed away and I took them on). Husband must have been blinded by love as we got married and he didn't seem to mind. The shetlands went soon after we married as I couldn't cope with 4.
Over the years husband has got worse with his attitude towards them - cost, time, my attitude etc and now it is really hard. He says my priorities are all wrong and doesn't believe horses need checking on every day :eek:(mine are out 24/7) Luckily I work part time and find time whilst his at work. I'm not into showing/competing, in fact I can't ride for the forseeable future and I don't know how he'll be if I am ever allowed to ride:(
I hope if your OH isn't keen you can get round it because its your hobby and everyone deserves something!
 
Had horses before I was old enough for even a boyfriend. Currently single, but good luck to any man telling me I can't have them. Did get daughters pony as a yearling sympathy buy whilst out dog walking whilst with ex partner. Never thought to ask him really. Given the ponies living circumstances when I rang him to say why I'd be late back, it was more an issue to convince him that him & his pals wouldn't help anything by calling on the previous owner for a 'word'.
 
People ask permission? :eek:

I bought mine myself, my money -> my horses ->my business, although I don't pay the mortgage, I pay for bills, groceries and all the rates and insurance on the farm.

I suppose, to be fair, if I was asking him to finance them that would be different, I wouldn't have horses if I relied on him to pay for them, well, maybe just the one then. ;)
 
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Horse was well established before I even met OH and he fully accepted I came with a horse and a cat when he took me on! Fortunately for me he spends as much time out playing tennis and golf as I do at the yard so it works quite well. My ex was not so well occupied and despite also coming along after the horse, he wanted me to stop riding to make more time for him, fool! A few other girls at our yard have issues with their OHs resenting the horse and the time spent taking care of it. If you can afford it money and time wise, your OH shouldn't stand in the way of something you get so much pleasure from.

I have been told that it takes a special kind of man to put up with a woman who's first love was a horse!
 
Sorry, lucky ladies AND gentlemen

Id had problems with him as he is very career focused and he cant get his head round why I would want one and the expense that comes with it, blah blah blah. And why I would want to comit myself to one for 20-30 years.

He doesnt have a hobby, nor has he ever had something he has wanted so badly that he would be willing to do anything for. Which I can understand, BUT it has caused endless arguements as he says if I were to get one, then in X amount of years time give up to have children etc and lose my income he would be expected to pay for it, and if he couldnt he couldnt bear to tell me id have to sell it as nobody could afford it.

Now bearing in mind, not once did I or have I asked for him to pay for it or take any responsibility. Once the time comes to have kiddies there is nothing stopping me loaning it out for a while. If I were to get one it would be 24/7 living out which is an aweful lot cheaper than liveries (well it is where I live anyway!) and would suit me fine.

How do those of you that had horses, then children came along cope? What did you do to ensure you could afford to keep them?

Im just trying to find out how everybody else coped and what situations arose etc.

I dont plan on getting one and ever giving it up.

Although I must add, he has been looking at land to rent and seeing what costs are what etc. He has also been talking to me a bit more about it instead of me talking at him.

I have worked out what costs would be a month (also after monthly bills when time comes) and its more than doable - but It wont be anytime just yet as we are in the process of house hunting and I want to leave it a year or so so I know exactly what monthly house hold bills will come to and what spending money I have left - as I want to make sure im 100% I can comfortably afford one.
 
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I met my bf before I entered the world of horse ownership so know exactly what you mean. When I made the phone call to tell him I'd bought one I was terrified that he would go mad but he was really excited and supportive! He's got his own hobby, cricket, which takes up a lot of time in the week and weekends so its worked out well. So my answer would be, if he also has a hobby then things will work out fine :)
 
I would never ask permission, your life, your passion either put up with it or get lost and find somebody that gets it!
 
I got divorced whilst pregnant. Sold one & kept other, had to go back to work ft as a single parent anyway, gave up competing & any other luxuries for me. Support myself & daughter anyway so might as well support a pony each too.
 
My first one kind of fell in to my lap. She was on the yard to be backed so I started to work with her. A year later I was leaving and made the decision to buy the horse. I did vaguely ask OH if he had any issues (but it was my money buying her) and he didn't so I did.

Second pony, it was my money buying her etc, but I wanted more input from him as it was my first time actively looking for a horse. He came to the viewing and liked her. We discussed it and I bought her. OH feels more emotionally attached to the second pony, because he's been involved from the start - simply hearing about how its going etc, whereas he'd only seen the first pony a handful of times and not had anything to do with her.

I have an easy-going OH, who knows it is my lifestyle and my hobby, so he is happy!
 
littlelegs said:
I got divorced whilst pregnant. Sold one & kept other, had to go back to work ft as a single parent anyway, gave up competing & any other luxuries for me. Support myself & daughter anyway so might as well support a pony each too.
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^^^ this me too ;-)
 
Its not so much about asking for permission, If I could comfortably afford it without relying on him for any financial support then I dont think he would have a problem with it. But his concern is when I have to give up work to have kids, then how will I afford one? He is a person that seems to take a very long time in making any big decisions and he too's and fro's before hand. Its more about finding a middle ground.

BUT it is also making sure he is comfortable with it to an extent as I couldnt face living with someone who hated the whole idea and it caused nothing but friction. So there is an element of 'ground rules' to a point. Otherwise life would get very complicated.

Iv tried helping him to find a hobby and encourage him doing something possitive. But he is just too tired from work as being an IT geek, his work is very stressful and sometimes he works late and just doesnt have the energy to come in and go back out again.
 
Hanzybaby01 said:
Its not so much about asking for permission, If I could comfortably afford it without relying on him for any financial support then I dont think he would have a problem with it. But his concern is when I have to give up work to have kids, then how will I afford one? He is a person that seems to take a very long time in making any big decisions and he too's and fro's before hand. Its more about finding a middle ground.

BUT it is also making sure he is comfortable with it to an extent as I couldnt face living with someone who hated the whole idea and it caused nothing but friction. So there is an element of 'ground rules' to a point. Otherwise life would get very complicated.

Iv tried helping him to find a hobby and encourage him doing something possitive. But he is just too tired from work as being an IT geek, his work is very stressful and sometimes he works late and just doesnt have the energy to come in and go back out again.
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Well I have 2 kids and another on the way (blimmin thing was due 9 days ago!) and still work and have horses, who says you have to give up work?
 
Magicmillbrook said:
Well I have 2 kids and another on the way (blimmin thing was due 9 days ago!) and still work and have horses, who says you have to give up work?
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Id have to give up for a little while, I dont plan on having kids then getting straight back into work. Id like to be a full hands on mum - thats something we have both agreed on, until they start going off to pre-school etc and then I can start looking for a little part time job closer to home and go from there.:D

Id get bored giving up work for good. Id have to go and do something, even if it was volunteer work for an animal home or something.:D
 
Hanzybaby01 said:
Id have to give up for a little while, I dont plan on having kids then getting straight back into work. Id like to be a full hands on mum - thats something we have both agreed on, until they start going off to pre-school etc and then I can start looking for a little part time job closer to home and go from there.:D

Id get bored giving up work for good. Id have to go and do something, even if it was volunteer work for an animal home or something.:D
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We-ell, you've got it very planned out... If you know you'd be looking to go back to work when they're at preschool, you have what 3-4 years of horse to finance? Work out what it would cost to have the beast turned away for the first year / on grass livery and all his keep till you'd be back at work, then work out if you can put away enough before having kids to finance that?

I guess it all depends on how much you earn and how much "space" you have in your pay packet untill you quit work temporarily...
 
JFTD said:
We-ell, you've got it very planned out... If you know you'd be looking to go back to work when they're at preschool, you have what 3-4 years of horse to finance? Work out what it would cost to have the beast turned away for the first year / on grass livery and all his keep till you'd be back at work, then work out if you can put away enough before having kids to finance that?

I guess it all depends on how much you earn and how much "space" you have in your pay packet untill you quit work temporarily...
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Its a big thing to plan for, buying and affording the upkeep of a horse in the long term. So Iv tried to make sure iv taken everything into account so im 100% in myself that I can do it comfortably.

But as I said earlier, im not planning on going out tomorrow and getting one. Itl be a good couple of years yet before Il be in any kind of position to think about it properly. Its just gaging things and its nice to find out from others how they have managed and listen to their stories.;)
 
Agree with jftd. If you can finance a horse pre children, just budget for whilst your out of work. Or buy something now that would be easy to loan out for a few years when kids are little.
 
He was quite happy for me to buy a horse on condition that it was suitable for him to ride and he got to share it.

To be honest he couldn't really complain since we met through horses!

Have also managed to persuade him that instead of buying a bigger car or a van for his business a 4x4 is the most practical solution..... of course the added bonus is that I can "borrow" it to tow a trailer so we can transport the horse without me having to give up my ultra economical to run small car for commuting. :)
 
Kat said:
Try taking him for a riding lesson :cool:

Two birds, one stone :D
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This is where the problem is. He has absolutely no interest in them. Just not his sort of thing, yet iv tried to encourage him to give it a go and if he still doesnt like it then at least he tried:rolleyes::o

Maybe if a neigh quietly in his ear when he is sleeping he will ake up with a different attitude:D
 
the one i was with 11 yrs ago wasnt given a choice, but to be fair i was only 18 then, so wouldnt have really listened to a guy!

and i can sure as hell say no one would ever stop me having a horse! maybe thats why i am single haha!
 
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