How do i get a horse to like me?

[horselover02345]

I ride a 14.3 hh mare called Alice, i really love her, she always listens to me and the people who work there always make me lead her in lessons or tack her up. I know basically everything about her besides her favourite stroking spot, i know she doesn't kick or bite, and she will only use the toilet in her stall, she is blind in one of her eyes and whenever i have brought some carrots i always share them with her and the other horses. She won't put her ears back if i go near her, my instructor says i ride her well, when we were doing cone weaving on Saturday.I always give her a bit. How do i get her to like me?

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Gosh...... where to start!

Basically, I think your question should rather be "how can I be a herd leader that my horse can trust", because TBH that is the essence of "bonding" (for want of a better expression) with your horse.

You need to be able to inspire confidence in your horse, and to do that you need to be able to, basically, think like he/she does. This isn't something you can learn quickly, some of us have taken a very long while to realise that our thinking needed re-adjusting!!

I could say a lot more, and no doubt there will be others that add to this thread with some very wise thoughts which may help you.

Can I point you towards a man called Michael Peace: have a look at his website, if you can find some of his books or better still get to some demo's where "natural horsemanship" is being shown as this may give you some pointers. Also have a look at the "Intelligent Horsemanship" website, Heather Moffatt and others. But be aware that everything that is done in the name of "natural horsemanship" isn't necessarily good or beneficial, so learn to be critical in that you watch, learn, and analyse what you've seen, i.e. look for what the horse is "saying", for instance are the eyes bright and alert? or does the horse look unsettled or unhappy, is it showing whites in the eyes? What about the ears, are they pricked and responsive or are they laid back and/or moving quickly around.

Watch people in the yard around you and how they handle their horses too as this will tell you a lot, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

Getting a horse to "like you" does NOT involve feeding unlimited titbits!!! It is about gaining the respect of that horse and having a relationship where the horse is able to trust you as the herd leader to take him through danger, for instance. Your first step would be, I would suggest, to do some groundwork, i.e. moving the horse's feet around, picking up feet to pick them up, and then moving on to getting the horse to move around you where you want it to, as for a horse to relinquish the decision of where it puts its feet is a huge thing for a flight animal, if you think about it. You may need to ask your instructor to help you with this groundwork stage as you need to know how to do it properly, and also, very importantly, without putting yourself at risk.

Good luck!! You're obviously a sensitive and thinking rider which will only stand you in good stead for the future.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

Simple - be the one that brings them their dinner, fills their water and turns them out in the morning (if the are in at night). Nothing makes a horse more glad to see you than if you are the person that they associate with those things.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Simple - be the one that brings them their dinner, fills their water and turns them out in the morning (if the are in at night). Nothing makes a horse more glad to see you than if you are the person that they associate with those things.

Sorry, yes, meant to add this too!! When I had my first pony I was able to keep him at home, and always fed him and looked after him, then there came a time when I lost the grazing we had and had to send him away to a livery yard where someone else did all that.

It broke my heart...........

 

[rachk89]

Sorry, yes, meant to add this too!! When I had my first pony I was able to keep him at home, and always fed him and looked after him, then there came a time when I lost the grazing we had and had to send him away to a livery yard where someone else did all that.

It broke my heart...........

Yeah I hate that someone else feeds my horse and does his stable. I'm sad and I like doing his stable, he's my horse. I like making his feeds and his haynets. Cleaning out wounds, or just attempting to turn him back to grey from orange. But sadly, work life does not allow me to do these things.

Unfortunately getting a riding school horse to 'like' you or bond with you will be difficult. They see many different people everyday, fed by different people everyday. Like others have said though, make it clear that you are the 'herd leader' and that you are the one for them to listen to. I did that with mine right from day one and we have a strong bond now. It helps that we are both alike in more ways than I could have imagined when I bought him.

 

[horselover02345]

I don't feed her lots, i just give her 1 carrot to reward her

 

[horselover02345]

Simple - be the one that brings them their dinner, fills their water and turns them out in the morning (if the are in at night). Nothing makes a horse more glad to see you than if you are the person that they associate with those things.

I don't work there in the week, only on saturdays but in the holidays i sometimes help.

 

[horselover02345]

Yeah I hate that someone else feeds my horse and does his stable. I'm sad and I like doing his stable, he's my horse. I like making his feeds and his haynets. Cleaning out wounds, or just attempting to turn him back to grey from orange. But sadly, work life does not allow me to do these things.

Unfortunately getting a riding school horse to 'like' you or bond with you will be difficult. They see many different people everyday, fed by different people everyday. Like others have said though, make it clear that you are the 'herd leader' and that you are the one for them to listen to. I did that with mine right from day one and we have a strong bond now. It helps that we are both alike in more ways than I could have imagined when I bought him.

I do let her and the other horses sniff me, the horse next to her stable who is also one of my favourite will put her ears back when my friends try to touch her but will let me stroke her, she is also a riding school horse.

 

[Meowy Catkin]

I don't work there in the week, only on saturdays but in the holidays i sometimes help.

I would say that the best you can aim for really is a good working relationship with the horse, plus that they recognise you as an individual. Really to go beyond that IMO, you need to own and care for the horse, which is not possible for you as a Riding School client.

 

[highlandponygirl]

I don't think it is a question of getting them to 'like' you but one of trust and mutual respect. Even if you are only there 1-2 days per week, it's still enought time to build these positive relationships with most horses. Just try and be consistent with the routine you have with the ones you care for/ride, and they'll quickly learn to expect to see you, which is nice when you build a really good raport with one or two who then look forward to seeing you each week

 

[Dry Rot]

I don't feed her lots, i just give her 1 carrot to reward her

That's good, but do you differentiate between rewards and treats?

To receive a reward, a horse should do some small task. Even getting the horse to take a step or two towards you when asked. Give a small slice of carrot, step back two paces and call her. If she comes, another slice of carrot. And so on. Think up little things she can do so you can reward her.

If a horse turns it's head away when you approach, give a reward when she turns towards you. Always be looking to increase the 'ask'. Within a short time, you'll find she will do all sorts of things for you in response to your voice and an occasional reward. Don't know if they still have horses in circuses, but watch for the rewards being handed out. You can learn a lot by watching how others handle horses and how the horses reacts, both the good and the bad! As the old saying goes, a wise person will even learn from a fool! You'll learn what NOT to do, at least!

 

[highlandponygirl]

a wise person will even learn from a fool! You'll learn what NOT to do, at least!

Love this, these are the lessons that usually stick with you too.

 

[horselover02345]

I would say that the best you can aim for really is a good working relationship with the horse, plus that they recognise you as an individual. Really to go beyond that IMO, you need to own and care for the horse, which is not possible for you as a Riding School client.

As i said, i work there on Saturdays from the morning till the evening, i sometimes put up her net or put her rug on,i know she likes the massage brush so i use that on her. Also if her hay net is almost empty and she is trying to get some out, i just take the rest out and she eats it from my hand.

 

[horselover02345]

Also, when i first rode Alice i really had to kick her to move and she wouldn't turn or stop, and would drag me to the nearest haynet. Now she goes on command, we can weave through cones with ease and stops, she still drags me to a haynet though