How do I get past this problem with my riding?

[suestowford]

I had a long break from riding. I lost my confidence completely, partly due to the horse I was riding, and (I suspect) partly due to menopause. I've been taking lessons for nearly a year, every other week (it's all I can afford to do) and I have identified a particular problem. I'd be interested to hear from anyone who's also dealt with this, and what you did.
It's to do with a first ride on a new (to me) horse. I find I get really anxious about a different horse. Once I've ridden that horse a couple of times I don't get anxious. A horse I've ridden more than that I can actually feel quite confident about, but the first ride is often a bit of a disaster and I come away feeling despondent about my riding. I'm going to talk to my instructor about it when I get a chance, there isn't always time in the lesson itself as it's a group lesson, and see if she can help me but I thought I would ask here too.
I don't want to be a rubbish rider, for the sake of the horse if nothing else. Advice welcome, and thanks in advance.

 

[Clodagh]

When I lost my nerve (the first time!) I relied on rescue remedy spray. I’ve no idea if it was placebo or what but it worked. Once on and going I was ok.
You are doing great. Be nice to yourself!

 

[eahotson]

You are probably not a rubbish rider.You may be novice but that is something else entirely.Most people feel nervous riding a new horse for the first time and most struggle to get a bit of a tune out of a new ride the first time round and quite often subsequent rides for a while.Some years ago I really followed the mantra of riding as many horses as you can to gain experience.I realized later though that this does not suit me.I prefer to ride one that I feel comfortable on.I am not,have never been,and do not intend to be a professional rider at any level so I can do what suits me.I would discuss this with your instructor.It may be that you are managing a lot better than you think you are.

 

[ihatework]

Is it a ‘problem’ though? It sounds like a completely normal response for a lot of amateur riders, especially those just getting back into it.

So you have a testing each other out ride, and then you generally feel more confident?

Maybe you can see if you can ride a new horse for 3 lessons in succession on rotation. Perhaps have a plan for what you want to test out on the first ride, if individual lessons would going in the lunge for the first half help? Then think about the bits that went well and not so well and debrief at the end with a focus for lesson 2 etc.

 

[AthenesOwl]

I rode for many years in a riding school until getting my own horse about six months ago. In one place that I rode, I would often ride the same horse a few times in a row, start to feel like I was getting somewhere, and then find myself on a different horse next time, whereupon I would feel back to square one and unable to achieve anything.

I suspect some of your anxiety might come from something similar. You’re just starting to learn how to ride one horse well over a few lessons, getting to know their “buttons”, and then you’re swapped onto another and need to learn all over again.

Please don’t let this knock your confidence, but flip it on its head. It demonstrates that you’re learning from each horse you ride, which just means you need to adjust to the next horse. This will become easier with more experience, but it takes time.
Perhaps focus on what’s changed in your riding from the start of a lesson to the end, rather than comparing one lesson to the previous one?

It really doesn’t sound like you’re a rubbish rider, more a thoughtful rider who is learning a lot more than they realise. Please see if you can have a chat with your instructor about how you’re feeling. I’m sure they’ll be able to help you.

 

[suestowford]

Thank you, all. It's the way I react to the anxiety, I tense up and just forget how to sit properly. I talked this over with my partner this afternoon and he suggested talking to myself about the things I have to remember. I'm going to list them and try to fit them to a song so I can remember it better, and sing it to myself as I'm going round. This might work - if I fill my head with what I should be doing, there might be no room for worrying.
I used to be a Rescue Remedy person too, I might get some more, I'd forgotten about it.
I think I ended today's lesson better than I started, I bloody hope so! And I will get there early next time so there will be time to just tell her what's bothering me and see if she can think of anything. I'm not expecting miracles, but I do get cross with myself because I know I can do better.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

One thing to remember is that the RS wouldn't put you on a horse they didn't think you could ride.

 

[Barton Bounty]

I think it is completely normal to feel like that, lets face it we are riding half tonne beasts with minds of their own so it is not a bad thing to keep your wits about you.
Be kind to yourself! You are doing amazing.. your confidence will continue to grow

 

[SO1]

I rode twice a week at the riding school for a year between loosing Homey and getting Bert. I was terribly nervous most of the time.

Established riding school riders are used to riding different horses and having to evaluate them quickly. I was not I had been riding Homey for 15 years and he was a schoolmaster type for most of the time I had him.

A riding school horse is not always a straightforward ride and the longer I rode at the riding school the more nervous I became. As a more established rider I was probably more aware of what could go wrong. I was also used to ponies and put on 16h horses.

If I am nervous I try counting backwards.

 

[holeymoley]

I think that's normal. Think of it more as exciting to try a different horse! How is your general fitness? Sometimes on different horses our balance can be affected as they all move differently. If it's a case of losing your balance, try strengthening your core and that could perhaps help. Although as said above, they wouldn't put you on a horse they didn't would be suitable.

 

[Orangehorse]

Rescue Remedy.

Act - I am a brave rider, and this horse is going to know that and do exactly what I want him to do.

 

[Skib]

Riding skills are not 100% transferable. Horses vary enormously in how they interpret our cues and part of the art of riding is to adjust ones riding to suit the horse. My daughter once worked in Madrid and was fluent in Spanish. When she was sent to a conference in Italy she could understand what her colleagues were saying but couldnt reply as officially she knew no Italian.
I had a long discussion once while hacking with an instructor who in her youth had learned cues and a style of riding that were very different from the ones I had been taught. I began to think of the skills as being like a palette holding many colours of paint - the colours - the cues are all at one's disposal but one has to pick and mix them with care to suit the horse one is riding.
Nothing you have learned is wrong or will be wasted, so do not despair.

 

[AthenesOwl]

I rode twice a week at the riding school for a year between loosing Homey and getting Bert. I was terribly nervous most of the time.

Established riding school riders are used to riding different horses and having to evaluate them quickly. I was not I had been riding Homey for 15 years and he was a schoolmaster type for most of the time I had him.

A riding school horse is not always a straightforward ride and the longer I rode at the riding school the more nervous I became. As a more established rider I was probably more aware of what could go wrong. I was also used to ponies and put on 16h horses.

If I am nervous I try counting backwards.

I absolutely agree with this. I started back riding as an adult (20+ years ago now) and after a few lessons on the reliable RS horses, I quickly graduated to the less straightforward RS horses when it became clear that I wasn’t a total beginner. I learned so much, different things from each horse.

My confidence in my riding has waxed and waned, and I remember the first time I rode at a completely different riding school, after about 10 years at my original school, feeling as though I couldn’t ride at all!

You’ll be learning so, so much, including how to manage your anxiety, and the advice to count or sing is really good.

 

[Skib]

For relaxing I was taught (Mark Rashid again) to breathe deep and to count in tme to the rhythm of each gait - 4 in walk, two in trot and three in canter.

 

[suestowford]

My fitness is improving, I do my stretches and my core workout and am becoming more supple (this is not easy when you get older...)

I have made up a song, I'm using the tune from the Pepto Bismol ad as I find that is a really powerful earworm and once heard cannot be forgotten! But now it has new words and I shall be singing that to myself in future.
It goes...When you have Soft Hands, Thumbs Up, Relaxed Elbows, Shoulders back and, don't forget to Breathe.

I really appreciate the support I've had from posting this. Now I feel I have more tools at my disposal I'm feeling a lot better about future lessons.

 

[sbloom]

Also consider having the odd private lesson if you possibly can, and never be ashamed to go in slower paces. Horses find their balance the easiest in walk as do humans, and there is a ton you can learn in terms of riding in walk. Some classical dressage trainers barely let their clients out of walk until they're really well balanced and functional in walk!

 

[eahotson]

Also consider having the odd private lesson if you possibly can, and never be ashamed to go in slower paces. Horses find their balance the easiest in walk as do humans, and there is a ton you can learn in terms of riding in walk. Some classical dressage trainers barely let their clients out of walk until they're really well balanced and functional in walk!

A few years ago I thought I could ride.A new trainer disabused me of this idea and I owe him a lot.It was several months before I was allowed to canter.Most of my first lessons were in walk and eventually we reached the dizzy heights of trot.