How do these adverts sound??:

[xxkatejayxx]

14.2hh bay roan New Forest x mare, rising 5 years old. Very sane and sensible, hacks out in company nicely. As of yet she hasn`t been hacked alone yet but considering she is happy to go first, last, in the middle or provide a lead I can`t see any problems with this. Not at all spooky - Has met buses, prams, umbrellas and more out including trains going over bridges as we passed and didn`t bat an eyelid. Excellent in traffic and to ride in open spaces - can be cantered across the field and then walked along the same stretch on a loose rein without pulling/hotting up etc. Has just started jumping natural jumps out hacking and coloured poles in the school - is proving to be very willing. Schools nicely on the flat. Very easy to do in all ways. Ideal for most riders including adults and children. Potential to make a nice pony club pony, mother/daughter/son share or even a show pony for someone willing to continue her education. £**** inc all tack and rugs (offers accepted).


17hh 11 year old ISH Gelding, mw build. He is nicely schooled on the flat, very easy to ride and has a great jump. Forward going but a comfy ride and safe. Good calm head, doesn`t hot up, even in open spaces or jumping. He hacks alone and in company, is excellent in traffic and is a very sweet easy to do horse - a real pleasure to own. Would make a nice show jumper/eventer, mother/daughter/son share or hunter for someone. Sad sale £**** inc all tack and rugs (open to offers)

 

[Abbeygale]

Maybe a little wordy for the NFx if you are advertising in a local paper, but probably can get away with it if you are advertising online, and have accompanying piccies! But it sounds open honest and has a lot of information in it!

But overall I think they are good.

 

[AmyMay]

I agree that the NF add is too wordy. Keep it short and simple.

Personally I can't bear adverts with all tack etc. included in price - as I look at them as a money spinning exercise. However, I don't see anything wrong in putting that they are available.

 

[josiesmithuk]

Agree with the NF comments, for the pony I would keep the tack included part. I used to work for a horsey selling magazine and often used to recommed putting that. The theory being that if the parents are buying they know they do not have to then find extra money for the tack.

Had a few examples of it being successful on the second advert when the first attempt hadn't had the call rates expected.

 

[xxkatejayxx]

Thanks

Wanted to put more info on the mares ad as some people may be put off by her age