How do you decide to sell? Sorry rather long.

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hairymolly

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Having a dilema and looking for some advice please.

I have owned my horsey for just over a year and for some reason I dont seem to be enjoying her. Now the year in which I have owned her has not been a good horsey year for me. She hurt my arm a month after getting her putting me out of action for a good 4 months during this time horsey was expensive ornament. I got her going and was making some progress ans she got a sore eye then she got a sore back, due to back advice from saddle fitter then she went lame on her near side fore. Now all of these things have amounted to about six months of stop/start work and as she is only a youngster it has really affected her progress.

I have really struggled with this horse and cant help but think that i am overhorsed as although she has never did anything really bad under saddle I still struggle for confidence on her. I used to go to beach and compete regurarly with previous ned but at the min I could never imagine being able to do this with current horse.

I dont know if this comes from the fact that she can be very difficult on the ground, this is how my arm got hurt, and i dont know if I would be able to handle her on the ground at a show. Maybe this doubt makes me think whats the point as I will never be able to deal with her at a show so why should I bother.

The thing is in theory she is my dream horse and on paper apart from the bolshy attiyude on the ground she is perfect but for some reason it is not working at the min, the click that makes it work has not happened yet.

I have not had a chance to have a good run at things with her. So should I wait till the weather picks up and reallt try to make a go of things with her and risk losing a summer of fun that I could be having or should I cut my losses sell her and look for something else?

Sorry I have went on forever. Tea and cookies for all that made it to the end. All thoughts appreciated.
 
Well that is totally up to you but you say she is only young still and with some ground work you could overcome the bolshyness? If she is your dream horse then surely she is worth working on?
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and just think of the finished product?!
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New year new start? Good luck with your decision
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I love the thought of the finished product I just dont know if I am capable of producing it. The thing is with the bargy/bolshy behaviour is that most of the time she is fine but when you take her out of her comfort zone or change her routing lady attitude makes a comback big time and as I now have an injured arm I struggle to handle her. I have visions of her charging around a show ground with me either running after her or kidding on she is not mine
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She has a real Switch and when it goes you really cannot reson with her. She is making progress but it is very slow she seems to be a very slow maturing horse plus there really is a lot of her for a 5 foot 3 person to deal with. I feel like a wee insect hanging onto the end of a lead rope.
 
I have made the decision to sell for the same reasons as you. My horse is meant to be a fun hobby and the fact that I get stood on, dragged about etc just isn't fun. He is good to ride but I just dont enjoy him and feel we def haven't bonded. So I decided to sell rather than waste any more time. He could be with someone a lot more confident who could have lots of fun with him and I could be looking for something more suitable. Life is too short to waste being unhappy. Hope that helps?!
 
If you feel you are overhorsed then it might be better to pass her on to someone who can have a fresh start with her. It is very easy to spoil a young horse if you have confidence issues. It really is the wrong time of year, but if you still feel the same in the spring, then I would pass her on. Sometimes its not just the case of it being the wrong horse for us, sometimes we are just the wrong owner for the horse. Good luck whatever you decide to do.
 
TBH I think perhaps if you were going to click you should have done by now. When I have decided to keep it is because there is something there that I could not bear to part with - no matter how deeply hidden from other people!

I generally gel pretty quickly with horses and 90% have been keepers from the start. I do gel less with horses I am not riding - unbroken in my case and you have missed a fair bit of riding time. But what is your gut feel telling you? Would she forever be the one that got away or would you be a bit glad to see her go?
 
you know from my posts ive sold my cob ........
for same reason .......im not enjoying him :{
horses are about fun / pleasure, just that youve posted
seems you realy have had enough .
 
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Would she forever be the one that got away or would you be a bit glad to see her go?

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That really is the question. The reason I have persevered for so long is that there is something a bit special about her but she is tricky and sensitive. I keep thinking that if I persevere and stick with her maybe we will click and I will get her on my side. She has so much talent and potential. Ithink her sharpness could be a blessing if I could get it working for me in the dressage or show ring as she really doe slove showing off!!

There are times when I would be realived to see the back of her but on the other hand just looking at her can make me happy. I do worry that a year down the line with a new horse and my confidence returned she would be the one that got away.

Thanks folks your opinions really are appreciated.
 
Well what is the harm in keeping her till early-mid summer anyway? If she is young it is not as if her value will have wasted away (probably better than a pre Spring sale) and by then you may know for sure how you feel.

Two I sold ended up on professional SJ yards but at the time I had them I just knew I did not have the time to put into them that they needed and would never have got them to the same stage. I don't feel any regrets that I sold looking back so it did turn out to be the right decision.

Good luck!
 
I really feel for you I could have written this very post this morning. Got spun out of the saddle and as I lay dazed and feeling somewhat gutted the first thing I saw when I dared open my eyes was him blowing up my nose to see if I was dead yet!!

I am in the same pickle and need to decide new yard or new horse or both.
 
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I really feel for you I could have written this very post this morning. Got spun out of the saddle and as I lay dazed and feeling somewhat gutted the first thing I saw when I dared open my eyes was him blowing up my nose to see if I was dead yet!!

I am in the same pickle and need to decide new yard or new horse or both.

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It really is difficult, I dont doubt that with the correct training/handling that she will be a star. I just dont know if I have the ability/determination to do it. The fact that she is quite an affectionate horse makes it harder.
 
Just some bits of information that i believe is ture - it may help it may not.
1.It can take a good 18 months to 2 years to establish a relationship with a horse.
2. Most good competative horses have a quirk
3. You learn most from the hard to ride/work with ones
4. Once you have had a challange and easy horse will seam "boring"

You have the winter and we are just on the turn for a new year come on girl - give yourself a big kick, get on the phone and find an instructor - get yourself 2 lessons a week and home work for the rest of it.
Get onto active rider and book their show course or one of their weekends. I know how you feel my big boy terrifies me sometimes he just has too much power for me - but with help from a fab instructor i am overcoming it !l

If all else fails he/she will be fit for the new season - you will have learnt an awful lot - and selling in the spring will be a darn site easeier than now.

Good luck - where are you and i will see if i know any instructors in your area
 
could you maybe put her somewhere to get some schooling and you go and have lessons on different horses and some on her in the meantime, the yard i used to work on had services like this. i really hope it works out i think u should possibly give it 6months then review the situation, let us know how you get on x
 
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Just some bits of information that i believe is ture - it may help it may not.
1.It can take a good 18 months to 2 years to establish a relationship with a horse.
2. Most good competative horses have a quirk
3. You learn most from the hard to ride/work with ones
4. Once you have had a challange and easy horse will seam "boring"

You have the winter and we are just on the turn for a new year come on girl - give yourself a big kick, get on the phone and find an instructor - get yourself 2 lessons a week and home work for the rest of it.
Get onto active rider and book their show course or one of their weekends. I know how you feel my big boy terrifies me sometimes he just has too much power for me - but with help from a fab instructor i am overcoming it !l

If all else fails he/she will be fit for the new season - you will have learnt an awful lot - and selling in the spring will be a darn site easeier than now.

Good luck - where are you and i will see if i know any instructors in your area

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God your good I suddenly feel very motivated, thanks for that. You don't fancy coming to my yard and shouting at me while I am trying to school her?? I am based in the west coast of Scotland just south of Glasgow, I would really like an instructor who would come up to yard and do a bit of schooling on her for me as well as helping me to ride her. Will check out the active riders website and possibly look into going on some form of riding holiday as I have seem to have forgotton that I can ride. Will also look into getting some lessons on a schoolmaster type horse as this should help my confidence.

I guess I should remember that two years ago when I was out competing my previous wee mare who was a superstar in her own right but was never going to be a world beater that I would have bitten your hand off for a chance to sit on a horse like my current one!! Its funny how things work out.
 
Personally, I would wait until the weather is better before making a decision.


My boy has been off work twice this year and it's made me feel like giving up at times as it feels like we've made no progress this year. I also struggle with confidence with mine too.

He was very bolshy when I got him but didn't scare me, he's been a little bolshy a couple of times when I've been on my own at the yard late at night since he's been on box rest and I've dealt with it but I has un-nerved me.

He's usually a dream to handle and hack but not the easiest horse to get a tune out of in the school, when he goes well it's amazing though.

He is my dream horse, like yours is your dream horse.

I can't imagine my life without him and would regret it if I got rid of him, do you feel the same?

I would give her a chance, get some help from someone who can teach you how to deal with the bolshiness as this will help your confidence, wait until you've spent some time on schooling etc and then see how you feel.
 
Too far away to help unfortunalty i am in the midlands, but if you fancy a trip down i know a fab horse/rider trainer and a fab riding school - but phone up your local pony club dc and ask them for a list of there instructors. Ask around your friends who is good who is not. Set yourself little goals - and another point to remember is sometimes your riding needs to be effective not pretty.

Come on now I will want weekly reports from you from now on..... infact we could have a little support group going on here where we can say in 2010 i want to... hack down your lane, ride a canter circle in the school, do a dressage test, go cross country etc and we can get a bit of support and direction from a few others
 
Thanks folks for all your comments i really do feel more positive now.
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Will give it some more time with her and really make a go of things and hopefully I should have had my share of injuries/ailments and will be able to be consistent. As soon as the school thaws I will get her going again and get instructor out to school her and teach me. I will also go for lessons on a more school master type horse to remind me what it can feel like. I will hang onto the few moments of relly nice work that she given me when I thought wow.

I cant help but think that if I was to sell her without really making a go of things that in a year when I have remembered how to ride that I would resent my new horse as chances are it would not move as well as she does.

If another six months down the line I still feel ths same then I guess I should sell but I will wait and see.

Thanks again
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You should all be motivational speakers.
 
just another idea......try doing a ground work course with her....if you establish respect for you on the ground then that will transfer to ridden work...i have a huge colt (17.2hh) at 2 1/2 yrs old and he was a nightmare to be around...i was advised to do some parelli ground work with him....i was very sceptical, but hey i had nothing to lose...i bought the partnership course on ebay and have never looked back...for the first year i could not understand why i kept this horse.....now....he is a dream to handle and be around....and doing the groundwork but up a bond between us as we got to know each other...x
 
Just to put my thoughts in... i had a gelding this time last year, i bought him as an unbacked 3yrd old to bring on a compete.. truth is i just didnt like him.. it took me a while to realise it. Most days i would go out to the field to get him in thinking "right today lets have a good day, dont let him get to you" and then we would have fallen out before i had even got the headcollar on! I was really horrible, he just seemed to know how to wind me up, and it worked!!

So, i sold him - harsh but i know but it wasnt right. Such a lovely lady bought him and she is still in contact, loves him to bits!

I have also bought another - a lush mare who i love so much just thinking about her makes me smile... sad i know.....

So, all i am saying is if in your heart you know - just sell and move on. For me it was the best decision i ever made and we are all happy.

Good luck in what ever you decide

xx
 
Good luck with whatever you decide.

As a general comment I would say that now is probably not the best time of year to sell a horse but if you do decide to sell
her it might be worth sending her to a professional yard to sell as they would probably be able to present her more favourably.

If you do keep her I wouldn't worry about stopping and starting with a youngster. I don't think it hurts them to have frequent breaks, even if they are not enforced ones!

It would definitely be worth doing some ground work with her. One of my horses (a well built warmblood) that I have owned since a foal was VEY bargey on the ground the would think nothing of taking his handler out. I bought a parelli copy headcollar off ebay and haven't looked back since. He knows he cannot run through it and has become excellent to handle on the ground.
 
I think you're ready to sell when you start thinking about selling! Not sure if that makes sense but its usually worked out correct for me (although I do very much regret selling my last horse and am currently in a dilemma over my current one who is an absolutely amazing competition horse and I love him to death but he is also getting older and will start reducing in value soon...).

You'll find some things you are happy to deal with and others you aren't. For example, I might not mind a bolshy horse whereas it sounds like you do and its really bashing your confidence. I think as soon as you start losing confidence, you need to think about selling especially when its a youngster as they MUST have confidence to improve (which is perhaps why you feel you aren't?). You can choose to battle on if you feel deep down that it could be worth it, but sometimes some people just dont gel with some horses, simple as that.

Meantime, I would probably forget about riding so much and really focus on her ground manners as if these aren't acceptable, you will struggle to sell her on anyway. I can empathise with you, my last horse was horrendously bargy when I bought him and it took a good year to get him in check, even then he would have the occassional strop. But you can get them to a decent enough level to enjoy them and get them out to events confidently, IF you put the work in!
 
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