How do you "get on with it "

[Sherbie]

Hi All,
This is my first thread I would like to know, when things get too much, whether it be first niggles with new horse or a knock of confidence in another way, what or who gets/got you and your horse past the rough times and where you are now? I would like to hear your stories
Lx

 

[Jackson]

I just try and think, if I can get him to learn this/walk past this or whatever, we will both come out the other side a better horse and rider. Failing that, a parent or friend will shout at me to bridge my reins, close my eyes, kick and hope for the best

 

[HollyB66]

Got my first horse 2 years ago aged 45 as a mother/daughter share. Thought we could handle it (Well we'd had a years riding lessons each and looked after a friends horse for 5 weeks whilst owner on holiday - how difficult can it be ??? lol)

Moved to a great little yard where there was plenty of support from other liveries and a fab YO.

In the first days/weeks my daughter and I were more nervous than our little mare deserved (bless her she is an angel) but my OH was always there to say 'just get on the bl**dy horse' - he was so right

2 years later she has never put a foot wrong and my confidence is pretty good. After a couple of falls jumping my daughter now rarely rides, it is a big shame because it was not the horses fault - too much too soon!

 

[Stacey6897]

When confidence takes a holiday, and I feel like I can't do what I'm trying to do, I'll take a step back and do something I know I can do, and try to do it well

 

[FionaM12]

I returned to riding after a break of over 30 years due to health problems. I'm 55, I bought Mollie last June and she's turned out to NOT be the safe, sensible novice ride she was described as. I struggle, and have moments of despair.

The forum has been fantastic at encouraging me and giving sound advice. Next week we move to a new yard, where I hope we'll find the facilities and support to get through Mollie and my "issues".

Other than using this forum, when things get bad I take a bit of time out, and try to count my blessings. I never thought I'd be able to go near horses again, and I loved them so much. I was so allergic contact could kill me, and nearly did in 1977.

And here I am, not only riding again but I have a horse!! She may not be what I was looking for, but just look at her, she's gorgeous. Life's great, isn't it?!

 

[FionaM12]

I just try and think, if I can get him to learn this/walk past this or whatever, we will both come out the other side a better horse and rider. Failing that, a parent or friend will shout at me to bridge my reins, close my eyes, kick and hope for the best

What a fantastic face your horse has! He looks like he's wearing makeup!

 

[BringoutheBest]

Think of one particular girl I really don't like, immediately worry about her becoming better than me, so just get on with whatever it is I want to do so so terrible but oh well, it has really spurred me on recently! proving self and all that

 

[Mince Pie]

I'm a bit odd, I'm a little nervous until the horse prats around at which point I ride through it, afterwards I know what to expect so am OK.

 

[Foxhunter49]

My mother!

I was never the best of riders at the riding school but I could sit out a buck and loved the naughty ponies and horses. I frequently went home with injuries and all Mum did was laugh and tell me that if I couldn't take it to stop riding.
When things went wrong then there was always someone who would help with the problem. To many people around to not grin and bear whatever.

 

[emma.is]

I just tack up, get in the menage, put motivational music on in my ear phones and try and not think about the half tonne snorting beast prancing and bucking under me...

Maybe not the safest plan but it works! He gets it out of his system and I don't have to think about it!

 

[Maesfen]

I'm a bit odd, I'm a little nervous until the horse prats around at which point I ride through it, afterwards I know what to expect so am OK.

You've summed me up to a T! Just got back into riding after a break of at least 5 years (I'm 63 - how the hell did that happen I don't 'feel' that old! ) and the mare we found has undertaken a brain transplant since she's come home, been wormed, had her teeth and jabs done and got some decent grub in her; now she's back on hay and a handful of nuts so has come down to earth and is a sweetie but very spooky of stupid things like a patch of railings instead of a hedge; she'll go past any wheelie bin and trundle down the A41 with artic's going either side of her but ask her to go past a different coloured stone and she has a heart attack. Don't know who gets more worried, her or me but I won't back off so she usually just gives a sigh and gets on with it but complains all the way and keeps her eyes out for her next frightener. She did make me wonder that she wasn't the safe and sensible horse she was tried out and sold as but she's just as green as grass about riding out alone, she's fine in company, a different horse. I can't afford for her not to work out so it's a case of grit my teeth and get on with it and hopefully one day I'll turn around and find out she's turned the corner; I can but hope.

 

[Shutterbug]

I had a really serious accident 4 years ago - and I was my own worst enemy when I came back to riding after 5 months of not being allowed near a horse. I put so much pressure on myself and went back to jumping far too soon and scared myself. So I moved yards, and for a year did nothing but hack my horse and potter around in the school. I then moved back to my large competition yard and started jumping again, having renewed my general riding confidence. I now have a mental block about jumping indoors - will happily jump 90cm in an outdoor or a field but dont ask me to canter a cross pole in the indoor - I don't like walls. So its back to cantering poles on the ground and building it up from there. Its all about stripping it back to basics for me and learning how to enjoy it again. My fabby RI helps too, as she is one of the few people who doesnt treat me like Im made of glass since my accident

 

[dapplepink]

My best mate is on the same yard and as soon as I start having a dip in confidence or loss of motivation he soon shouts at me to get on with it!! So I do just for a quiet life!!

If it's a schooling issue then I wait to ride later on when all the 'happy hacking experts' have gone home!!

When I first got him things were really hard under saddle so I just went right back to the beginning and did plenty groundwork, now he's my little star!!

 

[Mince Pie]

You've summed me up to a T! Just got back into riding after a break of at least 5 years (I'm 63 - how the hell did that happen I don't 'feel' that old! ) and the mare we found has undertaken a brain transplant since she's come home, been wormed, had her teeth and jabs done and got some decent grub in her; now she's back on hay and a handful of nuts so has come down to earth and is a sweetie but very spooky of stupid things like a patch of railings instead of a hedge; she'll go past any wheelie bin and trundle down the A41 with artic's going either side of her but ask her to go past a different coloured stone and she has a heart attack. Don't know who gets more worried, her or me but I won't back off so she usually just gives a sigh and gets on with it but complains all the way and keeps her eyes out for her next frightener. She did make me wonder that she wasn't the safe and sensible horse she was tried out and sold as but she's just as green as grass about riding out alone, she's fine in company, a different horse. I can't afford for her not to work out so it's a case of grit my teeth and get on with it and hopefully one day I'll turn around and find out she's turned the corner; I can but hope.

Might be worth hacking out with an escort but gradually increasing the space between you so it gets her used to being on her own without actually being on her own IFYSWIM?


OTOH my cob is still a major wimp after 5 years.... lol

 

[Sherbie]

I had a really serious accident 4 years ago - and I was my own worst enemy when I came back to riding after 5 months of not being allowed near a horse. I put so much pressure on myself and went back to jumping far too soon and scared myself. So I moved yards, and for a year did nothing but hack my horse and potter around in the school. I then moved back to my large competition yard and started jumping again, having renewed my general riding confidence. I now have a mental block about jumping indoors - will happily jump 90cm in an outdoor or a field but dont ask me to canter a cross pole in the indoor - I don't like walls. So its back to cantering poles on the ground and building it up from there. Its all about stripping it back to basics for me and learning how to enjoy it again. My fabby RI helps too, as she is one of the few people who doesnt treat me like Im made of glass since my accident

Wel done you! I think that there is a massive difference in pushing yourself towards the small goals and pressurising yourself so much that you end up taking 10 steps back.

I have major issues at the moment with my confidence after an accident on a friends horse earlier this year. Afterwards I pushed myself to carry on as normal. No riding until I went to the local riding school, even them Im a complete wreck for the first 5 mins. It got to the point where handling became an issue, even catching from the field. I still have no idea where this came from but when I opened up to my sister about how things were things became better. I now get help brining in ect and I will happily do all mucking out,water grooming ect. I am going for the small goals and still have bad days BUT knowing I am getting there with sheer determination and fantastic support from good friends and family. Theres still frustration that im not back to 'normal' quick enough, on days like that I must step back and look at whats been achieved so far. Others do sometimes look down thier nose but I have learned to block it out. Im a wimp but wont be forever

(I know, my spelling is terrible )

 

[Supertrooper]

Things that work for me......

- don't put pressure on yourself, even if you just sit on beastie for five mins each day it's a start.
- do stuff on the ground with him/her, get to know each other. Spend quality time with each other, just enjoying grooming him or sitting in field watching him graze.
- go for walks in hand to build up your confidence.
- have a friend that will go with you when you hack out, either on foot or on a steady horse.
- practice some breathing exercises to relax you.
- rescue remedy
- sing
- good instructor that will help build your confidence and make it fun for you and horse.
- try to remember that your horse is looking to you to give him the confidence. My boy is a giant baby, even though he's 14. He is very unsure so I have to be confident, I find a pat and a confident word works wonders, even if it's me saying it's your shadow you daft git!! As long as you say it in a calm way!
- don't think you're on your own, there are many of us out there

 

[Supertrooper]

Oh and I'm another for worrying until horse does something and then I'll just sort it out and deal with it!

 

[PitPony]

Lost my confidence with my first horse...took it personally! Until I met someone who said rubbish...got someone else on her and she did exactly the same! Then just got on with it and she did the thing I had been dreading all the time...bolted with me...and I came back to the yard saying how amazing it was - nightmare had happened and we had survived and I had actually realised what a wonderful horse I had as everyone was always telling me she had the energy for life all of us wish we had!!!
Took on my next horse...couldn't getnear her, totally anti-human due to whatever had happened to her in her past. She would attack, be defensive and aggressive and everyone thought I was bonkers...but I was determined not to be someone else who had let her down in her life. So we just did little things - getting a rug on her in 30mins was a triumph!! and kept going...I just went back every day no matter what happened and wore her down in the end!! We did all sorts together and she was the best to ride ever...15 years later we are still together and she is a lady of leisure now!
Patience and sense of humour are required at all times! I also truly believe in 'listening' to your horse...that is what my lady has taught me...also there is no need to get wound up when there is a way to do things without trauma to you both...make life easier and give and take a bit.

 

[Shutterbug]

Wel done you! I think that there is a massive difference in pushing yourself towards the small goals and pressurising yourself so much that you end up taking 10 steps back.

I have major issues at the moment with my confidence after an accident on a friends horse earlier this year. Afterwards I pushed myself to carry on as normal. No riding until I went to the local riding school, even them Im a complete wreck for the first 5 mins. It got to the point where handling became an issue, even catching from the field. I still have no idea where this came from but when I opened up to my sister about how things were things became better. I now get help brining in ect and I will happily do all mucking out,water grooming ect. I am going for the small goals and still have bad days BUT knowing I am getting there with sheer determination and fantastic support from good friends and family. Theres still frustration that im not back to 'normal' quick enough, on days like that I must step back and look at whats been achieved so far. Others do sometimes look down thier nose but I have learned to block it out. Im a wimp but wont be forever

(I know, my spelling is terrible )

Do persevere Sherbie - I still get that feeling sometimes that Im not progressing fast enough, usually the result of watching someone else move forward but I am learning to accept that this is the best route for me or I will shoot my confidence for good. I have almost sold my horse, telling myself he was too good for me - he can jump anything - but as a good friend pointed out to me, he doesnt care that hes not out jumping a meter and firing round cross country courses - and hes not standing in his stable at night thinking hes wasted on me So I remind myself that I have a horse so that I can have fun and enjoy myself - I have nothing to prove to anyone other than myself and that is going to have to be done slowly and steadily - we will get there

 

[Firewell]

I just think what's the alternative? Giving up, failing, not doing what I really wanted to do..
Those things are far more scary to me than a rough patch with my horse and I just get on and I do it.

 

[darkhorse123]

As a first time horse owner aged 45 who did everything wrogn and bought the first horse she saw - a 6 yr old cob who reduced me to tears many a time - i have to say Love and Determination

Plus the help of a fantastic instructor, being on a large livery yard with fanatastic liveries and owners and admitting my fears and worries!

Someone said to me right at he beginning "it costs as much to keep a good horse as a naughty one"
Another said - if you are prepared to put in the blood sweat and tears you can do this.

If you saw my horse you would understand why I chose the latter - so cue lots of lessons , reading, watching, listening, learning

We are now on our 3rd year together and I made the right decision - hes a fabulous lad and I love him to bits

 

[Maesfen]

Might be worth hacking out with an escort but gradually increasing the space between you so it gets her used to being on her own without actually being on her own IFYSWIM?


OTOH my cob is still a major wimp after 5 years.... lol

That would be lovely but nobody around here to go with!

 

[ebonyallen]

When I feel like whats the point of it all, it is my girl that keeps me going ~She is my inspiration and the reason why I never give up even when the going gets tough, she needs me but I need her far more than she will ever know.

 

[Batgirl]

I don't worry what other people think.
I set small goals (i.e today my goal at dressage was not to break in my canter as my big beastie always drops out at some point) I managed not to break and got my personal best.
Make sure if you are competitive with someone else they are actually at the same level (no point beating yourself up if your mate wins the class you are both in if she has been riding for many years, with a dressage horse and weekly high level instruction and wins novices!)
Tiny steps, if getting on in the first place is a big achievement bloomin well pat yourself on the back for it!
Thank your lucky stars you can ride at all (I suffer form depression and sometimes just thinking that I am lucky enough to have a horse helps immensely)

 

[FionaM12]

That would be lovely but nobody around here to go with!

That's exactly what it's like for me! People say, "Ride with a friend" but I haven't got any horsey friends near enough to hack with. But I'm about to move yards and I'm hopeful that I'll make new friends or at least hacking buddies there.

 

[beeswax]

horses are horses and will do things that is natural to them but unnatural and nerve racking to us, however the biggest problem I find with some nervous riders is "they think too much - what if it does this or that or it is going to be scared of that, or last time it did this/that", if you love them and riding then learn to stop thinking about the "what if's", and you will naturally relax and 8/10 times the ride will go well and you can only then improve. Have fun!! Never push yourself to go too far but do get in the saddle even if it is just to the bottom of the road and back.