How do you get over giving up horse owning?

Hedgewitch13

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I have decided to let my gorgeous mare go off to be a broodie in the New Forest. I'm losing my livery as the owner is emigrating and financially I could really do with a break so have sadly decided to let her go. She's 15 and I've had her since she was 6 months old and although I'm trying to let my head rule my heart I'm actually in pieces. Damn my blurry eyes.

Any tips on how to get over this? I have two weeks to spoil and cosset her before she goes but handing her over is going to be a nightmare. And it will be in a public place as the new owners are competing locally and want me to hand her over there. I'm such a wuss I know I will cry even though I can visit her whenever. After 30 years of horse owning I'm not sure how I'm going to fill my time. I have already got rides offered but it's the heartache that's going to be an issue. Plus I haven't told anyone as people can be so bloody judgemental. Sadly my circumstances have changed since I bought her otherwise she would be with me forever. Ah bugger... Any advice?
 

naid pollyanna

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just try to think that at the end of the day if you have doubts about her and her new home you can visit her and if your circumstances have changed just look on the brightside and think about how she as a horse will fit in with other horses and carry on her life else where once settled in.
im sure for your mare she will be fine but as for you well, you probably will find it hard and no advice can stop that but time will heal it and know its the best thing for her to enjoy the rest of her life as shes not an old horse yet :eek:
sorry to hear that your going through this though:(
 

Paddy Irish

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Cheer up , your girl will be fine and you wont have the constant money worries . Don't give up riding if your being offered it elsewhere , you'll have the best of both i.e as much or as little involvement as you want at maybe a fraction of the cost , the people offering you rides may be looking for someone like you to free up a little time for themselves , plenty of people have money for their horses but some do struggle with time , it's a constant juggle and you could be doing someone else a huge favour. :)
 

Hedgewitch13

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Thanks guys! The thing is I know I'm doing the right thing and she is such a cracking mare, very straight with fab conformation, so I know she will make lovely babies but it's just me worrying about her. Stupidly I'm putting human emotions on my horse. We are incredibly close and I worry that she will feel abandoned. Daft huh?!
 

bumblelion

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I feel for you, brought a tear to my eye. I always think what if I had to give my horses up for some reason such as financial. I'm hoping that my horses will be with me forever but you never know what the future may bring.

I think you're being very brave and it is the best thing for your mare. You can always go and visit her and I'm sure in time you'll find it will get easier. This happened to my friend last year with her tb. She and him were so close I never imagined she could see him go. He was very tricky in every way but she found him a new home locally and he's doing really well. She visits him monthly and knows she made the right decision.

As for time filling, get your nails done, buy some nice clothes and have lie ins!!! Oh and lots of holidays!!!! Good luck, keep us posted x
 

Mildred

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I've had mine out on loan for 5 weeks and that hasn't worked so someones viewing to buy tomorrow. The sudden change in routine is very weird at first but you get used to it - I have had horses for 30 years and I never thought I'd cope without, but actually I'm not finding it that difficult. I love picking and choosing who and when I ride (I am lucky in that I have a few nice horses to choose from). I'm doing all those jobs at home that I could never find time for before :)
 

Bert&Maud

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I am about to have to do the same. I've had horses in my life for about 45 years. I've always been really lucky, my love of horses stems from my Mum, and for all of my horse owning life I have been able to keep my horse at their house (about 10 miles from home). When Mum gave up riding a few years ago, we got a livery to share the yard and facilities, it's been a fantastic arrangement as we both work full time and take care of each other's horses to share the load. When I got my current horse just over 3 years ago Sophie offered to start some jumping with him (she jumps and I don't), and to cut a long story short she's done fantastically with him - he has turned out to be a very talented jumper. But Sophie has recently said that she is going to be moving, and I have said for a while that once she is not around any more to compete on him I will sell him. In the meantime, now that my Dad is over 80, it's time for them to move to somewhere smaller and easier for them to manage. I have been so spoilt in having what is almost like my own place all these years, I don't want to move to a yard with lots of other people, and also financially it is crippling me as I haven't had a pay increase for 4 years. My horse is now quite valuable and also 9 years old this year, so probably at his peak and so this will be the best time to sell him. I am going to be very busy with arranging my parent's move and settling them in to whereever they end up, and so I know that the time has come to hang up my horse owning boots. Like you, I can't even think about it without weeping. Last winter, mucking out when it was -14c I would have given it up without a thought - but now spring is here it's all so much fun, and I cannot begin to imagine what it's going to be like to wake up on a glorious Saturday morning and not be going out to tack up to go for a hack, or set off early to a competition. You will notice that although I have given lots of reasons why I am giving up, not one of them mentions wanting to. So, I can't offer you any advice as I've yet to go there - but you are not alone - and this is going to be the saddest thing I have ever done. Tass
 

Hedgewitch13

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Thank you Bumblelion. Don't give a crap about my nails but having a lie in will be good :) I know she is going to be fine and the new owners are lovely people who are more than happy for me to visit - I just wish I was a hard moo but I'm not! Lord knows how I'm going to tell my parents - they will be very shocked!
 

Ranyhyn

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I have just waved goodbye to my beautiful angel boy. I don't have the answer to your question, only understanding and sympathy (((hugs)))
And to you too Tass, the last few sentances struck a chord with me x
 

Hedgewitch13

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Thanks Mildred and Tass x I could never sell my mare as a riding horse as she is quite special! Great at jumping and schooling but a bit of a numpty about hacking although she doesn't frighten me. I'm sure I will adjust ok it's just how she's coping that worries me. After 15 years I know her inside out and you always think you look after them better than anyone else can.
 

Hedgewitch13

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I saw your post earlier Kitsune and really felt for you. I was at work and would have ended up sobbing if I had replied. Tough times huh?! I'm sure both our beautiful horses will be fine we just have to get over it ourselves. Hugs to you xx
 

Mildred

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She'll be fine as long as she has food and friends :)

My mare stayed at her current yard, the first few times I appeared to muck out and ride out a couple of others, she was deeply annoyed that she wasn't being attended to, but now she ignores me totally (so it was a shock when I rode her today!).

It's disappointing how quickly they switch allegiance to the bearer of food :eek:
 

Hedgewitch13

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Lol thanks Mildred - I wish she was food orientated but she isn't. It doesn't help that a friend at the yard always told me she pined for me when I went on holiday for a week. apparently she always looked for me! I know she will be fine after a couple of weeks -it's just me that's worrying! 15 years with the same horse is a long time.
 

Sarah Sum1

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No real advice, but wanted to offer hugs xx

I'm sure she will be just fine. Visiting her when you can will be nice too. She will also have her future babies to keep her busy. :) One thing I love about not having a horse right now, is the lay ins! Bliss :)
 

Hedgewitch13

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Thank you Sarah. I know it will be so much easier for me financially and time wise but letting her go is just so painful! I just wish I was tougher :-(
 

Sarah Sum1

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I have never owned a horse for as long as you have owned your girl. So can only imagine how hard it must be to say goodbye. I would think of it as a farewell for now, until you see her next time :) I would tell her that too, but i'm a bit of a loon like that! :eek:

More hugs x
 

Hedgewitch13

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Awww thanks again. I just need to put my big girl pants on and get on with it. She won't be that far away (well about an hour) and how many people who sell have that option? Actually she's a freebie because of her age and the market but I know it's a good home she's going to so I should be happy!
 
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