How long did it take you to get used to your horse?

Ellietotz

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I'm just curious to know as it's the first time for me in the proper horse ownership world. It's been about 7 months now and I still struggle sometimes knowing whether my mare is right for me but I'm quite a negative and anxious person as it is and I have times where all I want is for my old best friend to be in this world with me again.
Although she is on full loan to me and I could give her back at any time, I love her to bits and I want this to work more than anything. She is just so different to what I was riding before and not the kind of horse I'd ever go for. In a way though, it keeps me on my toes, it's never boring and she makes me laugh when she's silly. I think I will be more confident when I feel more balanced when riding her, I'm still getting used to the unpredictability and sharpness. The boy I was on before could spook at something and you wouldn't even notice. I miss him so so much.
I never get back from a ride and think 'god that was awful', I'm always super happy afterwards but I just feel so nervous beforehand. I wish I was more confident naturally. Everything has been going so well since sticking to all the advice I've got from here, I really don't have a lot to be nervous about now and I'm hoping it's just because it takes longer than 7 months or however long to really get used to a new horse.
Anyway, I digress... so when you bought or loaned your horse, how long did it take you to get used to their ways/find out that you are a match? Did you ever doubt yourself and think you've done the wrong thing and it won't work? I would like to hear everyone's success stories please!

Thanks in advance :)
 

Identityincrisis

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Honestly? With this horse who I have had for 3 years, it was only a month ago when I realised how much I loved him and that was only because he had a serious accident. But in terms of actually liking him, I would say it took me 2 years! BUT he was very difficult in every aspect which made it difficult to even like him at times.

My old boy, probably knew straight away he was The One but he was a step up for me but he was a genuine horse so he wasn't difficult to love, everyone who handled him adored him <3
 

Spiritedly

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I've had my 'new' one for 6 months and like you could be describing my relationship with him!
I still have my mare but she is getting more limited in the work she can do because of her health and I regularly think that I don't want my new one I want my mare to be healthy :( My new one is great but I just don't seem to have the bond and trust I have with my mare.
Funnily he is more loving on the ground than she is but he is more quirky when ridden and not the greatest on the roads whereas I would trust my mare in the heaviest traffic. The more I ride him the more things are improving but like you I just need to get on him in the first place :-/
 

tashcat

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Took me days to know my new boy was staying firmly with me. He's such a trier and willing to do anything asked of him, a real sweetheart and with an affectionate personality to match.

I had my last boy for years, and even before he was properly mine, I always knew he was very special to me. I don't think I'll ever feel that way again about a horse, but I'm slowly falling in love with the newbie in a different way.

It's a case of your confidence I think, as it sounds like you deal with her well! If you like her quirks, thats a sure sign you're fond of her :) Don't doubt yourself and keeping enjoying her until there is a reason to reassess the situation!
 

iknowmyvalue

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I'm at 8 months with my "new" one and I'm still very much getting used to him. This is complicated by the fact that I've probably only done about 3-4 months worth of riding on him (I'm at uni so I can only ride every 2-3 weekends during term time, he does get ridden but just not by me). I do love him (although it took me months to really realise that) and it really hit me about 2 weeks ago how much I miss riding him when I'm at uni. However, he's very much still just "not Rosie" and guilty as I feel about it, I know I'd trade him in a heartbeat if it could bring her back :( As with you, I rarely have an awful ride, it's just not what I'm used to. I've had a few but often that's more because I'm not in a good mental place, and I know deep down I could have had the same issues with Rosie but because it was her I would have just laughed and forgiven it. In many ways he's a "better" horse than her, but often I don't want a better horse I just want her. I'm hoping that a summer of lessons and competing will really help, because the consistent riding should help me get a feel for him and help him come on quicker too.
 

Ellietotz

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Honestly? With this horse who I have had for 3 years, it was only a month ago when I realised how much I loved him and that was only because he had a serious accident. But in terms of actually liking him, I would say it took me 2 years! BUT he was very difficult in every aspect which made it difficult to even like him at times.

My old boy, probably knew straight away he was The One but he was a step up for me but he was a genuine horse so he wasn't difficult to love, everyone who handled him adored him <3

Awww :( my heart would be broken if my mare had a serious accident. I know I love her to bits but I just struggle with myself. I'm glad that you both got there eventually though, this gives me some hope!
 

Ellietotz

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I've had my 'new' one for 6 months and like you could be describing my relationship with him!
I still have my mare but she is getting more limited in the work she can do because of her health and I regularly think that I don't want my new one I want my mare to be healthy :( My new one is great but I just don't seem to have the bond and trust I have with my mare.
Funnily he is more loving on the ground than she is but he is more quirky when ridden and not the greatest on the roads whereas I would trust my mare in the heaviest traffic. The more I ride him the more things are improving but like you I just need to get on him in the first place :-/

Maybe it is just an experience thing then, like the more we do it and get to know them, the better it will be. I hope?
I wonder sometimes if we had a 'choice', who would we choose? As when my old boy was still here, I did begin choosing to ride her more and more before she went officially on loan to me. Maybe we just feel stuck... or it's just me? Like wanting what we can't have.
Confidence isn't something I've always had, I'm good at faking it for her sake but I wish I could feel like that rather than pretending. I'll have days where I am so excited to ride, get on and go without even thinking. Other days, I can get on and just want to get off for no reason at all, I never do but I want to. Then once we get going, I have fun again. I don't understand my brain! I love jumping too but I'm bloomin' terrified at looking at a jump and approaching it but love it when I'm going over it and after. Even when it's tiny! It doesn't help that she exaggerates every jump, even if it's 1ft, all four feet have to come off the ground! It doesn't make sense. In my head it's like the type of jump that scares me too, 2ft log - nope, 2ft stacked pile of twigs while out hacking - yes!
I'm yet to ever actually be too scared to get on her, I'm too stubborn to give in to my nerves! Keep me updated on how you're getting on though, it's nice to not feel like the only one. I guess these stages seem to be normal for newbies.
 

Ellietotz

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Took me days to know my new boy was staying firmly with me. He's such a trier and willing to do anything asked of him, a real sweetheart and with an affectionate personality to match.

I had my last boy for years, and even before he was properly mine, I always knew he was very special to me. I don't think I'll ever feel that way again about a horse, but I'm slowly falling in love with the newbie in a different way.

It's a case of your confidence I think, as it sounds like you deal with her well! If you like her quirks, thats a sure sign you're fond of her :) Don't doubt yourself and keeping enjoying her until there is a reason to reassess the situation!

I worry that if I don't know already then it's not right but others seem to be in the same situation. It must be lovely knowing in just a few days, I knew that with my best friend. :( It's hard not to want to keep comparing them as they are so so different!
Thank you, I am trying and she has made me change my own sloppy ways and take control myself, I was weak and let her get away with stupid stuff before. She has helped me become better, I just need to give it more time I think.
Thank you, this has made me feel so much better already.
 

Ellietotz

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I'm at 8 months with my "new" one and I'm still very much getting used to him. This is complicated by the fact that I've probably only done about 3-4 months worth of riding on him (I'm at uni so I can only ride every 2-3 weekends during term time, he does get ridden but just not by me). I do love him (although it took me months to really realise that) and it really hit me about 2 weeks ago how much I miss riding him when I'm at uni. However, he's very much still just "not Rosie" and guilty as I feel about it, I know I'd trade him in a heartbeat if it could bring her back :( As with you, I rarely have an awful ride, it's just not what I'm used to. I've had a few but often that's more because I'm not in a good mental place, and I know deep down I could have had the same issues with Rosie but because it was her I would have just laughed and forgiven it. In many ways he's a "better" horse than her, but often I don't want a better horse I just want her. I'm hoping that a summer of lessons and competing will really help, because the consistent riding should help me get a feel for him and help him come on quicker too.

Awww :( this brought a tear to my eye. I know exactly how you feel and I'm the same, hard to admit it but I would do anything to have him back. Keep me updated, I'd love to know how you get on to see if it all works out in the end. I'm sure we can get used to them as we did with our lost ones. Xx
 

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Honestly? I've had my mare 3 years now and she's so talented I always feel that we aren't a team.. and never will be... she's got so much more talent than I'll ever have... kind of as if I was playing doubles tennis with Andy Murray ... but I feel fab every time I ride her she makes me smile every time, I backed her myself brought her on from scratch and my goal is to one day sit her extended trot... unlikely to happen but one can dream...
 

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Maybe it is just an experience thing then, like the more we do it and get to know them, the better it will be. I hope?
I wonder sometimes if we had a 'choice', who would we choose? As when my old boy was still here, I did begin choosing to ride her more and more before she went officially on loan to me. Maybe we just feel stuck... or it's just me? Like wanting what we can't have.
Confidence isn't something I've always had, I'm good at faking it for her sake but I wish I could feel like that rather than pretending. I'll have days where I am so excited to ride, get on and go without even thinking. Other days, I can get on and just want to get off for no reason at all, I never do but I want to. Then once we get going, I have fun again. I don't understand my brain! I love jumping too but I'm bloomin' terrified at looking at a jump and approaching it but love it when I'm going over it and after. Even when it's tiny! It doesn't help that she exaggerates every jump, even if it's 1ft, all four feet have to come off the ground! It doesn't make sense. In my head it's like the type of jump that scares me too, 2ft log - nope, 2ft stacked pile of twigs while out hacking - yes!
I'm yet to ever actually be too scared to get on her, I'm too stubborn to give in to my nerves! Keep me updated on how you're getting on though, it's nice to not feel like the only one. I guess these stages seem to be normal for newbies.

I think you must have my boys twin! Hacking the other day there was a branch across the track probably less than a foot high so easy to step over but he leapt it. I think we jumped about three times the height and that was from a walk!
I wonder sometimes if it would be easier if I didn't have my mare because then I wouldn't keep comparing.
In the scheme of things we haven't really had them that long and maybe a bond that takes longer to develop is stronger in the end.
 

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9 months in and only just starting to feel like we've clicked. Mine is 7 yr old ISH and can be bloody opinionated and is prone to spooky behaviour and the odd meltdown. I'm fairly experienced and confident but considered selling it in Feb as he was a flippin nightmare! I was determined not to quit at first sign of trouble and we've worked our way through it.

Definitely works both ways. I'm starting to trust that when he starts to dick about he's actually not going to turn himself inside out and/or take off (feels like he might!) and I think he's starting to trust and feel more secure in me. As much as we're having to get used to a new horse, they're trying to get used to new person too. I also think you need to go through a year to work out how best to manage them through the seasons. Made mistakes with Hugo over winter having him much too fit and feeding too much haylage ... I won't be doing that again !!!
 

Ellietotz

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I think you must have my boys twin! Hacking the other day there was a branch across the track probably less than a foot high so easy to step over but he leapt it. I think we jumped about three times the height and that was from a walk!
I wonder sometimes if it would be easier if I didn't have my mare because then I wouldn't keep comparing.
In the scheme of things we haven't really had them that long and maybe a bond that takes longer to develop is stronger in the end.

:lol: Haha! I'm yet to experience a jump from walk like that. From stand still, yes and with unneccessary scope, I think I nearly broke my lady parts on the landing!! They must be related! She has such a brilliant jump on her, she really goes all in for it and I think I lack confidence with it even more because she jumps small jumps so big and I never feel prepared for it or being off the ground for that long! If I wanted to jump 3ft, I would go over a 3ft jump! :lol: When we get it all on the right stride and she jumps without half stopping and leaping over it, it really feels amazing.
I think we would still compare them whether they were still with us or not as they are our 'first loves' as it were. And no I guess we haven't, it feels like a long time to say 7 months but it feels like much less. That's what I'm hoping for as the end goal, someone said on one of my other threads something along the lines of 'once you've won over the trust and loyalty of a mare, you have it for life'. I want that unbreakable bond and it's keeping me going. I hope you and I can both get that with our new friends. Only time will tell.
 

Ellietotz

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9 months in and only just starting to feel like we've clicked. Mine is 7 yr old ISH and can be bloody opinionated and is prone to spooky behaviour and the odd meltdown. I'm fairly experienced and confident but considered selling it in Feb as he was a flippin nightmare! I was determined not to quit at first sign of trouble and we've worked our way through it.

Definitely works both ways. I'm starting to trust that when he starts to dick about he's actually not going to turn himself inside out and/or take off (feels like he might!) and I think he's starting to trust and feel more secure in me. As much as we're having to get used to a new horse, they're trying to get used to new person too. I also think you need to go through a year to work out how best to manage them through the seasons. Made mistakes with Hugo over winter having him much too fit and feeding too much haylage ... I won't be doing that again !!!

Very good point. I didn't look at it that way, there's me wanting her to trust me so I can gain more confidence and she's probably doing the same the other way round!
It's so reassuring to know I'm not the only one who struggles at the beginning so this has given me a lot of hope. I have had her since late October, didn't get to ride more than twice a week with it being dark and didn't experience her being in season often around that time and oh boy does she get moody! I'm used to geldings but from the sounds of it, your horse sounds a lot harder than mine anyway! It's good to hear you've clicked though. Luckily I'm yet to feed something that has sent her loopy! We live and learn :lol:
 

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2 years and still can't ride him properly. But I dont feel too bad professionals struggle to as well. Same problem as blitz, talented horse but is difficult to ride.
 

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Very good point. I didn't look at it that way, there's me wanting her to trust me so I can gain more confidence and she's probably doing the same the other way round!
It's so reassuring to know I'm not the only one who struggles at the beginning so this has given me a lot of hope. I have had her since late October, didn't get to ride more than twice a week with it being dark and didn't experience her being in season often around that time and oh boy does she get moody! I'm used to geldings but from the sounds of it, your horse sounds a lot harder than mine anyway! It's good to hear you've clicked though. Luckily I'm yet to feed something that has sent her loopy! We live and learn :lol:

You're not alone, it takes time. I think this one has tested me more than the other 2 but having said that, I'm absolutely sure I had issues with both of them at some point but I've forgotten cos have had them both years now! I do remember getting the second one having had my first boy for over 8 years and thinking I would never be as comfortable with Lockie as with Fox but i am now. Both Fox and Lockie are like old slippers and Hugo still bit of a new pair of shoes that just need wearing in a bit :) Wouldn't be without any of them ... although what possessed me to have 3 I do not know!!!
 

Ellietotz

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You're not alone, it takes time. I think this one has tested me more than the other 2 but having said that, I'm absolutely sure I had issues with both of them at some point but I've forgotten cos have had them both years now! I do remember getting the second one having had my first boy for over 8 years and thinking I would never be as comfortable with Lockie as with Fox but i am now. Both Fox and Lockie are like old slippers and Hugo still bit of a new pair of shoes that just need wearing in a bit :) Wouldn't be without any of them ... although what possessed me to have 3 I do not know!!!

Thank you. :)
Yes I think I had issues at the beginning with the last one too but like you, can hardly remember now and the good memories have overtaken that now. I hope in the foreseeable future, I can look back at this and feel the same as you can now with Lockie. Lovely names by the way! I am just managing to cope with one, let alone 3! Well done to you! One is enough stress and worry for me... for now :lol:
 

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Took me a good 6 months. I remember walking back up the field with him wondering what the heck I'd done. I had a Hanoverian X, 17.2hh who died, decided to get something totally different, got a 14.2hh cob who fortunately made 15.1hh. Nevertheless, he's too small for me, I feel like a giant on him, but he's my boy, horse of a lifetime etc. I'd still prefer a 17hh warmblood. :(
 
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I've had my gelding 2 years now, and I still have days where I wonder if I'm good enough for him. I think I am similar to you OP in that I am not naturally a confident rider, but because I love it so much I stick at it, and he's never disappointed me (to the point I've wanted to throw in the the towel). Occasionally he will do things that remind me how much I adore his squishy furry face - the most recent a few days ago when whilst everyone else was chasing their fancy horses around the field trying to catch the blighters, my lad saw me coming and walked straight up to me, if he could have put his head collar on he would. The trust he has in me too really touches me.
So in answer to your question I think it takes time to really feel the connection, and it might be something you have to constantly work on over the years, but it will be worth it.
 

Merrymoles

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Five years in and we've finally clicked! I liked him from day one and had pledged to keep him for life but it has been a journey...

Horse didn't really trust anyone, had been passed from pillar to post, had obviously had some handling issues, was a proper biter and was head shy. Horse lacked confidence and I lacked confidence when riding, though not on the ground, and it hasn't been an easy journey. However, now, looking back, I realise how far we have come. He trusts me implicitly on the ground and is getting better and better at trusting me when ridden. He is always happy to see me, loves to work and is generally a real trier.

Yes, he can still be a complete twit - can't clip without sedation, does the river dance when I handle his front legs and won't stand for mane pulling or beard trimming. But every time I push him out of his comfort zone, he gets a little bit more accepting that if I say it's OK, it is.

And what have we achieved? Tiny things to most people but massive for us: he will now stand like a rock at the mounting block - I think the record when I got him for circling and trying again was 26 times and his default setting was to wait until you were on and then charge off, even at a canter around an icy fold yard when I first got him - now he stands while I fiddle with my girth, gloves, whatever, and doesn't move until asked; he doesn't bite - he's still mouthy but never nasty now; he can now trot out on a hack without getting faster and faster and trying to tank; he lunges beautifully - the first time I tried in the field he fell flat on his side, although free schooling is still far too scary; he can work in the school without a meltdown most of the time, though it's still a bit worrying; he can have a little canter out without being a prat and he can even occasionally go in front when hacking and this weekend managed to go for a short hack on his own, twice! He has learned to do gates and has become a master at it, unless they are new gates in which case it takes a couple of goes because they are scary. We're at the point that, if I can get some transport this summer, we are ready to go out and do an Intro test and a clear round course - as I say, nothing to most people (including me in the past) but major for us as a pair.

So the trials and tribulations, nerves and generally worry have all been worth it and he is with me for life. I am only really just starting to feel that we are a proper partnership but I wouldn't swap my fairly plain bog pony with a hairy chin and a mane like a haystack for Valegro! :)
 
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I think it totally depends on the horse. With my old mare, I've had her 7 years now, and I'd say it took a good 18months before I felt we were a team. We never achieved much riding wise, but regarding us on a whole I felt at that point I knew her and her foibles. Now 7 years on, I feel like I know her inside out, know how she'd react in 99% of situations etc. I never feel like I should watch for her reaction.

I've had my new mare 2 years now, and whilst she is 100x better than at the start, there are still certain circumstances where I think she'd be a little unpredictable, it's just her nature and I'm learning about her. Where my old mare might get hot and stressed and I know how she'll behave, I'm not fully there yet with this one, but it will come I'm sure. I'd say it was probably only 3/4 months ago I thought that she really is my teammate and she's my partner.
 

Ellietotz

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I've had my gelding 2 years now, and I still have days where I wonder if I'm good enough for him. I think I am similar to you OP in that I am not naturally a confident rider, but because I love it so much I stick at it, and he's never disappointed me (to the point I've wanted to throw in the the towel). Occasionally he will do things that remind me how much I adore his squishy furry face - the most recent a few days ago when whilst everyone else was chasing their fancy horses around the field trying to catch the blighters, my lad saw me coming and walked straight up to me, if he could have put his head collar on he would. The trust he has in me too really touches me.
So in answer to your question I think it takes time to really feel the connection, and it might be something you have to constantly work on over the years, but it will be worth it.

Thank you.
That's so sweet, I get the same and I smile every time I see her. She really does make me happy but I just wish my confidence wasn't telling me that it's not right. I have to try and tell myself that I would be nervous no matter who I ride now if it's not my last boy as I wouldn't be used to any of them either. I keep thinking I could go for the safe option and get a nice steady safe cob type but then I don't think I'd have as much fun plus there is something rewarding with a project, being me and her! I know she is completely the wrong type for me if I'm completely honest with myself but she is fun, she does make me laugh and she will give me the confidence by getting used to her eventually rather than staying in my comfort zone. I hope!
 

Ellietotz

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Five years in and we've finally clicked! I liked him from day one and had pledged to keep him for life but it has been a journey...

Horse didn't really trust anyone, had been passed from pillar to post, had obviously had some handling issues, was a proper biter and was head shy. Horse lacked confidence and I lacked confidence when riding, though not on the ground, and it hasn't been an easy journey. However, now, looking back, I realise how far we have come. He trusts me implicitly on the ground and is getting better and better at trusting me when ridden. He is always happy to see me, loves to work and is generally a real trier.

Yes, he can still be a complete twit - can't clip without sedation, does the river dance when I handle his front legs and won't stand for mane pulling or beard trimming. But every time I push him out of his comfort zone, he gets a little bit more accepting that if I say it's OK, it is.

And what have we achieved? Tiny things to most people but massive for us: he will now stand like a rock at the mounting block - I think the record when I got him for circling and trying again was 26 times and his default setting was to wait until you were on and then charge off, even at a canter around an icy fold yard when I first got him - now he stands while I fiddle with my girth, gloves, whatever, and doesn't move until asked; he doesn't bite - he's still mouthy but never nasty now; he can now trot out on a hack without getting faster and faster and trying to tank; he lunges beautifully - the first time I tried in the field he fell flat on his side, although free schooling is still far too scary; he can work in the school without a meltdown most of the time, though it's still a bit worrying; he can have a little canter out without being a prat and he can even occasionally go in front when hacking and this weekend managed to go for a short hack on his own, twice! He has learned to do gates and has become a master at it, unless they are new gates in which case it takes a couple of goes because they are scary. We're at the point that, if I can get some transport this summer, we are ready to go out and do an Intro test and a clear round course - as I say, nothing to most people (including me in the past) but major for us as a pair.

So the trials and tribulations, nerves and generally worry have all been worth it and he is with me for life. I am only really just starting to feel that we are a proper partnership but I wouldn't swap my fairly plain bog pony with a hairy chin and a mane like a haystack for Valegro! :)

This is amazing. My mare is also extremely spooky and needs constant reassurance of everything. Manners on the ground have become a million times better than before and that was mostly my fault because I let her get away with it. In a way, I went from a safe and steady 16.2hh Welsh cob who had been there and done that, 15 years old to a 13.nothing warmblood x arab x tb mare who was turned away for years so basically started her 'from the field' should we say. I would never in a million years ever have done that and I just did, I don't know why but the opportunity came up and I took it. I liked her, I thought she was gorgeous and she was bred with a show jumper so I had dreams of looking into the future of turning a fat unfit spoilt mare into something amazing. We had our first lesson a few weeks a go and for a horse that despises schooling, when we cantered around the whole ring without stopping and did a 20 meter circle in trot without wanting to take off, it's so rewarding.
You seem to have improved with your boy so much and it really has made me feel more positive. Thank you for telling me your successes. :)
Did you ever feel worried that you wouldn't have proper confidence when riding him? Although I do it, I still get nervous beforehand, I wondered if you felt the same?
 

Merrymoles

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This is amazing. My mare is also extremely spooky and needs constant reassurance of everything. Manners on the ground have become a million times better than before and that was mostly my fault because I let her get away with it. In a way, I went from a safe and steady 16.2hh Welsh cob who had been there and done that, 15 years old to a 13.nothing warmblood x arab x tb mare who was turned away for years so basically started her 'from the field' should we say. I would never in a million years ever have done that and I just did, I don't know why but the opportunity came up and I took it. I liked her, I thought she was gorgeous and she was bred with a show jumper so I had dreams of looking into the future of turning a fat unfit spoilt mare into something amazing. We had our first lesson a few weeks a go and for a horse that despises schooling, when we cantered around the whole ring without stopping and did a 20 meter circle in trot without wanting to take off, it's so rewarding.
You seem to have improved with your boy so much and it really has made me feel more positive. Thank you for telling me your successes. :)
Did you ever feel worried that you wouldn't have proper confidence when riding him? Although I do it, I still get nervous beforehand, I wondered if you felt the same?

Hell yes, he frightened me to death at times, especially in the days when he used to launch himself into a run when you got on! I am still slightly nervy doing something different, like hacking him on his own at the weekend, but have learned that he takes all his confidence from me so can generally fake it in order to improve things for him. I recommend a good friend who will put up with your nerves and singing and chatting away to your horse like an idiot. People will think you are mad but your horse will appreciate your waffle! When he is spooky, I literally talk him through it..."Oh yes, it's a dog running up and down behind the hedge, they're gits aren't they, just doing it to upset you..." Heaven knows what eavesdroppers think but it works for us!

I now look forward to riding him but it did take quite a while before I stopped feeling sick every time I got on! I also trust him much more to deal with certain things. We had a massive tractor coming towards us this weekend which had just come out of our yard. One neighbour asked if I wanted to pull into their drive and someone else asked the tractor to stop and switch off. But the thing was, I knew he would be absolutely fine with it and wouldn't even bother looking at it because he is now brilliant with any kind of traffic. And he proved me right and wandered past it without a care in the world.

ETA - I have ridden hundreds of horses, worked with hundreds of horses and ridden for 40 years but lost my confidence about eight years ago after a series of falls. The only reason I took on my current horse was because someone who knew me very well told me I would be bored in six months if I bought a "plod". She was so right and this has been so very rewarding! Take your time and you definitely get there but you do need bucketfuls of patience.
 
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pansymouse

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About three months - we're incredibly compatible. The previous one I never felt I knew and therefore didn't trust so sold her on to someone who had an amazing bond with her.
 

FestiveFuzz

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M came to me on permanent loan when we decided to turn Pops away for a year. I was stressed and heartbroken after my summer of box rest with Pops and really didn't feel I had the capacity to let another horse into my heart...I also felt immense guilt at having a second horse, as if I was somehow cheating Pops.

I hadn't even met him before he arrived at our yard, but as luck would have it from a ridden perspective we clicked immediately. He takes a while to warm to new people, so we kinda rubbed along for the first month or so. It was only after a week away skiing that I realised I was falling for him, and when I lost Pops he became my rock.

I've had him nearly 6 months now and absolutely adore him. He's brought my riding on tenfold and reignited my passion for all things horsey and I will be forever thankful for that. He will never take Poppy's place, but the partnership we have together is very special and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.
 

Chumsmum

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It took me 2 years to get used to my horse Toby and not get so nervous when I first got on, he was (in hindsight) a big step up for me from my first horse Chumley who was a very steady happy hack type. Toby was the opposite, spooky and fairly sharp, but loves work and he is without doubt my horse and love of a lifetime, he gives me everything, I've done more with him than I ever imagined. I think a big turning point was going to Adult Camp with Toby for the first time, spending 3 whole days just focusing on us, made me realise how awesome he was and we had an amazing time, highly recommended for getting to know them better. Enjoy your journey with your new horse xx
 

Ellietotz

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Hell yes, he frightened me to death at times, especially in the days when he used to launch himself into a run when you got on! I am still slightly nervy doing something different, like hacking him on his own at the weekend, but have learned that he takes all his confidence from me so can generally fake it in order to improve things for him. I recommend a good friend who will put up with your nerves and singing and chatting away to your horse like an idiot. People will think you are mad but your horse will appreciate your waffle! When he is spooky, I literally talk him through it..."Oh yes, it's a dog running up and down behind the hedge, they're gits aren't they, just doing it to upset you..." Heaven knows what eavesdroppers think but it works for us!

I now look forward to riding him but it did take quite a while before I stopped feeling sick every time I got on! I also trust him much more to deal with certain things. We had a massive tractor coming towards us this weekend which had just come out of our yard. One neighbour asked if I wanted to pull into their drive and someone else asked the tractor to stop and switch off. But the thing was, I knew he would be absolutely fine with it and wouldn't even bother looking at it because he is now brilliant with any kind of traffic. And he proved me right and wandered past it without a care in the world.

ETA - I have ridden hundreds of horses, worked with hundreds of horses and ridden for 40 years but lost my confidence about eight years ago after a series of falls. The only reason I took on my current horse was because someone who knew me very well told me I would be bored in six months if I bought a "plod". She was so right and this has been so very rewarding! Take your time and you definitely get there but you do need bucketfuls of patience.

That's a relief, I thought it was just me who gets scared of riding a horse that I enjoy when I'm on! Yours sounds quite scary though, I don't blame you being nervous about that! You had a reason to be worried though, I really don't in comparison. She's good as gold, just spooky when out on her own and I still can't quite get used to the speed! Saying that though, we both love a good gallop, even if it does make my heart stop in the process and I forget to breath or blink. I'm still trusting that she won't do anything that I have yet to discover but that'll come in time. The first couple of times we went out actually, she did test me. She would stop a couple of times out hacking and protest. I'm glad she doesn't do that anymore!
I also talk a load of wotsits too, I can't imagine what people think if they heard. They could probably hear me having a full blown conversation with her from miles off! "Not sure why you spooked at that, you definitely saw the dog run into the puddle'' ''look you've frightened all the wild ponies now, silly billy" :lol: I tell her about my day and everything so she knows I'm still there. Sensitive souls aren't they!
That's amazing, it makes you so happy when something like that happens, that feeling of being so incredibly proud of your little baby.
All this talking makes me miss her so much whilst being at work! I just want a cuddle and tell her how grateful I am that she puts up with me!
 
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