how long for 2 ponies to be friends?

[pachypach]

a daft question but here goes.....
My mare, Maya, has been on her own for a year (since putting our other mare, Harmonie, on loan)
Harmonie was the first pony at our house, then my Maya joined her (she is sooo undominant). Harmonie did put her in her place, but was never nasty, and always shared hay etc.
I have just bought a shetland gelding, Titof, as company for Maya. He is so sweet and gentle with us humans, but dominant with Maya. she wont share the same hay as him (I saw them standing fairly close together this morning, then suddenly he turned his bum round on her and kicked her (missed though!)
Maya is really wary of him, although he is alot smaller!
Just tried to take them both out down the lane in hand, and didnt get very far as although he was by my side, she lagged behind, not wanting to be close to him.
I didnt introduce them gradually (over the fence etc), just put them in together, as I was told he wasnt dominant. at first they seemed ok together, my mare was really pleased to see another pony!
but then the next day, it's like she is worried by him, although (apart from the kick I've seen) he hasn't done anything else nasty-he does walk after her with ears back sort of thing....
My question is this, how long would you think it will take for them to get used to each other and be friends? that's if they are going to be!

 

[flying solo]

I'd put a fence between them and take it from there. Some geldings aren't get with mares. My shettie chases mares, not being nasty he just loves them but its not fair on him or them so he's in with geldings only. Maybe in spring when the grad is through they can graze at opposite ends of the field happily and their friendship will blossom

 

[Kallibear]

Sometimes never. There's plenty of pairs horses who would never normally choose to be friends but have no choice. I've had a couple and they're never as happy and settled as with a true pairbond friend.

Mine all live a very natural life in larger groups but sometimes end up in pairs for various reasons. You can always tell a pair who naturally get on (share out of same feed bucket, stand side by side dozing etc) and those who are just making do. A truely bonded pair are lovely to see.

We've had this recently: young undominant horses living with a grumpy alpha. They didn't get on and prob never will get on. They tolerate each other and after a good few weeks I had to change their living arrangements.

It may just be because the shetland is unsettled and feeling defensive, but it's quite possible they might just never get on. If his sole purpose is to be a companion, then give it a month or so, then try something else.

It can be a real bugger trying to get proper friends sorted if you also need to take dietry requirements into account too!

 

[amandap]

I suggest you do some groundwork with him to get your boundaries very clear. Lots of strict leading, him keeping his nose at your side and stopping when you stop, moving when you move, turning when you turn, especially turning to the side he is being led from. Perfect manners by Kelly Marks has some good basic stuff to do. Sounds odd I know but it needs to be clear in his mind that you are in charge when you are around. Also, move him around a bit when in the field (providing it's safe to do so) and move him away from her if he threatens her. Try to keep it low key. This sort of stuff will cement your relationship with him and also help her confidence when you are around.

They will sort out their relationship in time. Some pairs of horses are never glued at the hip so to speak, it's so individual.