Upthecreek
Well-Known Member
It’s not that you’re not ready for a loan. You just need to find a more suitable horse.
How much risk is too much risk?
- Thread starter Pmf27
- Start date
SusieT
Well-Known Member
I would probably give it a month or so with your oh there, or consider getting a lesson - then reassess unless you are very scared. its common to have new horse nerves. There is an arguemnet however if you are going to be there on your own it mayy not be a sensible share anyway as the best horse can trip etc.
Crazy_cat_lady
Well-Known Member
100% this.
My first loans were riding school horses, I then "progressed" to a horse in his 30's! Hilariously he took a fair amount of stopping the first time I rode him! I was often up that yard on my own, though the rs I attended was next door so not totally alone. I just did gentle work in the school with him due to his age then when I'd got used to him we went for little pootles down the lane, it was my first time hacking on my own without being with the rs.
I then full loaned my current horse when he got taken out the rs before I bought him. H can be spooky and is prone to a spin. He reminded me of this Saturday as someone turned a pressure washer on when we were walking past!
However he doesn't rear or buck, 2 things I couldn't be dealing with.
You want a horse you can enjoy and feel safe on. If you do give up this loan is there a reputable rs near you where you could loan one of theirs until you find the next one?
Maybe look at something slightly older that can do a bit of everything without legs coming off the floor when they shouldn't be! OH may feel safer leaving you to it if you're on something a bit safe and steady
Pmf27
Well-Known Member
Thank you for this, it's good to hear how others have progressed with their various loans. It's also been reassuring to hear that even people with far more experience than I, would not put up with the behaviour I have described.
In answer to your question, yes: my riding school haha. Sounds mad really, now that I'm writing it down, that my riding school offers loans and yet I've raced ahead with a private loan.
To go back to my 'reality check', I think that I must have believed I was better than I am, so had talked myself into being ready for something with a bit more 'oomph' than an RS horse. Lesson learned!
I'm having a lesson this week so I'll enquire about loaning one of theirs
SpotsandBays
Well-Known Member
I echo the above. Confidence is something you neeeeeeeed to hold onto, as it’s so easily lost but so difficult to regain. I’d also be wary of that location, as above if something happened could you get the assistance you needed within a reasonable time? I’d say if you’re questioning it then don’t go for it. Keep looking, something will come up!
Lois Lame
Well-Known Member
Yeah, that's not good.
What else might he do if he's miffed at something?
And a more suitable owner.
The husband is fine though. Keep him.
Frano
Well-Known Member
It is meant to be fun. There are other horses out there to share or loan. It is not your job to sort out some ones bucking rearing horse. Not unless you want to. At this time of year if turn out or exercise is limited any horse can be a handful.
Crazy_cat_lady
Well-Known Member
Thank you for this, it's good to hear how others have progressed with their various loans. It's also been reassuring to hear that even people with far more experience than I, would not put up with the behaviour I have described.
In answer to your question, yes: my riding school haha. Sounds mad really, now that I'm writing it down, that my riding school offers loans and yet I've raced ahead with a private loan.
To go back to my 'reality check', I think that I must have believed I was better than I am, so had talked myself into being ready for something with a bit more 'oomph' than an RS horse. Lesson learned!
I'm having a lesson this week so I'll enquire about loaning one of theirs
Oh thats great! Just make sure you if you can get a choice pick one who doesn't do too much in the school so they don't spend more of their time in lessons than with you, however obviously make sure you pick one you like riding!
Also its worth seeing if they will let you hack, mine only let me right near the end- having my own insurance was needed for this even though I already had it!
Even if its just a stop gap it certainly doesn't mean stop looking for something nice and steady to share in the meantime but at least it'll still give you experience of loaning with others around to start with then just keep looking for something while you're loaning theirs- you never know you may enjoy having the rs horse so much you don't want a privately owned loan!
Berpisc
Well-Known Member
One of the things to bear in mind is that if the owner is at a similar stage in their riding to you (and I do not mean any disrespect to either of you) there may be a problem that needs adressing with the horse showing those behaviours. That is the responsibility of the owner and it might be better for you if you are not involved. If you can get a loan from your riding school that would be a promising start. Back in the dark ages I went to riding school then did a private loan, the mare I loaned taught me a lot and was no push button ride but bucks and rears are potential issues that if I were you I would avoid.
FestiveFuzz
Well-Known Member
I don’t necessarily think you’re not ready for a loan full stop, more that this horse just isn’t suitable. It would be one thing if he was trying his luck with you but had an experienced owner who had a handle on the behaviour and could help coach you through it, but with you saying the owner is the same experience level as you it sounds like a recipe for disaster and one where his behaviour is only likely to escalate if left unchecked. While I agree you can only learn to ride tricky situations by doing, you can ensure you have a toolkit of skills at your disposal so you know how to react and get a handle on any situations you find yourself in.
As others have said, confidence is precious, so easy to lose and so much harder to get back. For that reason alone I’d be ending the loan and looking at the options available at the yard you ride at where they know your abilities and can help guide you if anything tricky pops up.
As others have said, confidence is precious, so easy to lose and so much harder to get back. For that reason alone I’d be ending the loan and looking at the options available at the yard you ride at where they know your abilities and can help guide you if anything tricky pops up.
Goldenstar
Well-Known Member
My guts tell me that you are still too much of a novice for this horse in this situation
Ideally you need a horse in a situation where you can get lessons to improve your position and reactions .
This is the route to confidence .
You are very focused on negative things you need to switch that to having a plan to improve the things that make riders confident .
Risk management is part of riding the trick is to do it in a positive way there should never me a time when you are not risk managing it simply becomes so instinctive that you hardly know you are doing it .
Ideally you need a horse in a situation where you can get lessons to improve your position and reactions .
This is the route to confidence .
You are very focused on negative things you need to switch that to having a plan to improve the things that make riders confident .
Risk management is part of riding the trick is to do it in a positive way there should never me a time when you are not risk managing it simply becomes so instinctive that you hardly know you are doing it .
tristar
Well-Known Member
your have answered your own question , you are not ready for THIS horse, he has put the wind up you, sounds like he is not super reliable, that is not normal, you are ready for the right horse, the one that makes you smile and you enjoy riding
SaddlePsych'D
Well-Known Member
Double posted
SaddlePsych'D
Well-Known Member
Having started my first share this year, I realised I really underestimated how much I would value having supportive people around at the yard (as well as a supportive owner). Luckily I very much landed on my feet; there's almost always someone around so I'm rarely on my onw, and it's never a problem if I need to ask a question - often it's silly little things but just bits you need to pick up along the journey of gaining experience looking after/riding horses. There's a few people I can hack out with which is also fab as I underestimated what a step I would find it to going out solo.
Annagain
Well-Known Member
I think there are three issues here. Each one on its own would be surmountable but they're all so intrinsically linked they create the perfect storm which means this loan isn't the right one for you. That's not to say you're not ready though, you just need the right set up.
Issue one is the horse - while he isn't perfect, you could probably learn to manage him a bit better if you were somewhere with lots of support but you don't have that where you are and you can't move him.
Issue two is the isolation - it's always going to be at the back of your mind, which means you're always going to be a bit anxious and that will feed to the horse and make issue one worse. Being isolated with a rock steady horse would still have its risks but would be less of an issue, which in turn would make you more confident and the horse more confident and round and round you go.
Issue three (in the nicest possible way) is your OH. As much as I agree with everyone that your OH is lovely and he's so good to come with you all the time, I wonder if he's inadvertently added to your anxiety? He loves you and wants to protect you. That's natural and a wonderful thing to have but maybe his fear has fed yours? It leaves you in a bit of a catch 22 because you may well do better when he's not around (my OH doesn't know about half the stuff I've got up to with the horses, he'd have a fit if he did!) but you need him to be around while you're somewhere so isolated.
Issue one is the horse - while he isn't perfect, you could probably learn to manage him a bit better if you were somewhere with lots of support but you don't have that where you are and you can't move him.
Issue two is the isolation - it's always going to be at the back of your mind, which means you're always going to be a bit anxious and that will feed to the horse and make issue one worse. Being isolated with a rock steady horse would still have its risks but would be less of an issue, which in turn would make you more confident and the horse more confident and round and round you go.
Issue three (in the nicest possible way) is your OH. As much as I agree with everyone that your OH is lovely and he's so good to come with you all the time, I wonder if he's inadvertently added to your anxiety? He loves you and wants to protect you. That's natural and a wonderful thing to have but maybe his fear has fed yours? It leaves you in a bit of a catch 22 because you may well do better when he's not around (my OH doesn't know about half the stuff I've got up to with the horses, he'd have a fit if he did!) but you need him to be around while you're somewhere so isolated.
PeterNatt
Well-Known Member
I would not consider it at all. Find yourself a nice laid back bombproof/spook proof horse which you can safely enjoy.
Wishfilly
Well-Known Member
This gives me red flags more than anything actually- because a potential loaner should be honest with you and upfront about any quirks. She could have put you in a really dangerous situation if you hadn't experienced this with her present and it had happened for the first time when you were on your own!
ETA: There is a huge range of horses between "riding school horse" and "broncs and does mini(?) rears".
I do think it sounds like the horse possibly has an underlying issue if this is a reoccurring behaviour, and the owner may not have enough experience to realise this- which may in turn lead to the situation getting more difficult.
Earlier I was on the fence about this, but now I honestly think you should walk away.
DabDab
Ah mud, splendid
A share from your current riding school sounds like a great idea ?
Lois Lame
Well-Known Member
Me too.
It was the attitude (and possible skill level) of the owner that concerned me.
Pmf27
Well-Known Member
UPDATE:
Thanks again for all your replies everyone, your advice and expertise is appreciated!
I have told the owner that I can no longer go ahead with the loan, they were very understanding which was a relief.
However, I'm going to put off looking for a loan for now, even at my RS, as I had a lesson yesterday and the horse spooked and sent me flying! I was nervous when I got back on, so I expect I'll need to build my confidence back up over the next few weeks.
Riding instructor assured me that there was nothing I could have done and that it would have sent her flying too, so I'm at least reassured that I didn't do anything wrong. Forgot how much falling off hurts, though! Haha.
Thanks again for all your replies everyone, your advice and expertise is appreciated!
I have told the owner that I can no longer go ahead with the loan, they were very understanding which was a relief.
However, I'm going to put off looking for a loan for now, even at my RS, as I had a lesson yesterday and the horse spooked and sent me flying! I was nervous when I got back on, so I expect I'll need to build my confidence back up over the next few weeks.
Riding instructor assured me that there was nothing I could have done and that it would have sent her flying too, so I'm at least reassured that I didn't do anything wrong. Forgot how much falling off hurts, though! Haha.
Wishfilly
Well-Known Member
I'm sorry to hear this and I hope you have some more positive rides soon! Hopefully you will rebuild your confidence quickly and feel able to look for a loan again soon.
I hope you aren't too sure today.
Pmf27
Well-Known Member
Thank you! I'm quite stiff and sore but otherwise okay, mostly miffed at needing to shell out for a new helmet ?
JackFrost
Well-Known Member
Pmf27 The right one for you will come along, so don't worry about the 'looking'. There are horses that are such confidence givers that it will not even enter your head to be worried. They are out there, all shapes and sizes and ages, and IME they are not always the old ploddy ones. You will find yours.
Pmf27
Well-Known Member
Pmf27 The right one for you will come along, so don't worry about the 'looking'. There are horses that are such confidence givers that it will not even enter your head to be worried. They are out there, all shapes and sizes and ages, and IME they are not always the old ploddy ones. You will find yours.
Thank you so much, that's very reassuring!
FireCracker238
Well-Known Member
The right one for you will come along, so don't worry about the 'looking'. There are horses that are such confidence givers that it will not even enter your head to be worried. They are out there, all shapes and sizes and ages, and IME they are not always the old ploddy ones. You will find yours.
This ^^ what's for you won't pass you, the right one will find you when the times right ?