How to cope

[danda]

My little dog died suddenly in the space of 30 minutes on Wednesday. My other dog died in June. The sudden loss is very difficult and I think of her constantly. I am 80 years old so I am told don’t even think of getting another at your age. I understand this thinking obviously. How do you cope? No more horses now no more dogs, my house is empty and silent.

 

[Ratface]

Deep condolences for the loss of your lovely dog.
I'm near your age, and live alone in a remote rural environment. My boon companion, Fat Kat, is sitting on my feet. We're both in bed and he sees no good reason to get up!
I had dogs all my life. My last one was pts when she was 13, due to her back legs becoming unsteady and I couldn't risk her going down and me being able to pick her up.
I don't know why you're being told not to have another dog "at your age".
Do you have any friends who have dogs? Could you "borrow" one occasionally?
Sending love and condolences.

 

[Smitty]

I am so very sorry to read this. I live alone and my little chap is my entire life so I understand some of what you are going through, and losing your dog so suddenly must have been awful.

I am sure if you wanted canine company there are avenues you could explore. I think I would start by contacting Cinamon Trust and I am sure there are rescue centres who would be keen to talk to you about fostering etc.

 

[Errin Paddywack]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Perhaps you could adopt or foster an older dog, possibly one whose owner has died. Here in the UK we have an organisation called the Cinnamon Trust that looks after pets whose owners have died or need help with looking after them. A lady I know fosters for them.

 

[ycbm]

I think you should get another dog if it will make you happy, especially a dog that's been looking for a while for a home. And change your will to leave something to the Dogs Trust and they will take care of rehoming the dog if it outlives you. I have many friends older than you who would have outlived an adult adopted by someone of your age.

So sorry for your loss, it does hurt. I hope you find a new companion. We will need you to give us pictures, though .

 

[Highmileagecob]

The first sign of old age is when you do as you are told. If you want another dog, then go and get one. Really sorry to hear about your losses, and I hope you can work something out.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

You have had a difficult year, losing both dogs. Losing one that you didn't know was ill is a dreadful shock to add to the grief. I am so sorry
Who told you not to get another dog? Of course if you feel able to give a dog what it needs, you should have another.
We tried to persuade my father to get another after he had his last one pts aged 13 but he wouldn't, saying that he had spent the last 60 yrs (since getting married) walking dogs and he felt it was time for a rest. I am convinced that contributed to his own deterioration and death, aged 87 about 2 yrs later.
Some organisations, including Dogs Trust and RSPCA have older dogs for adoption/fostering, the Dogs Trust have dogs fleeing Domestic Violence which need to be fostered until their owners have settled accommodation and there are schemes like Borrow my Dog where you could walk/look after someone else's dog.
Please don't let anyone tell you you are too old for a dog.

 

[Flowerofthefen]

So sorry to hear about your little dog. You must be devastated. If your fit and well then why not look for another dog? There are so many at the moment that need rehoming due to owners circumstances. Go for something a little older. You would both be doing each other a huge favour xx

 

[Skib]

We are 83, still fit and walking. The number of years one has lived is less important than your physical and mental fitness. A neighbour of our age who sadly died last week was still walking his dog till a few weeks ago. The foot paths here are populated by elderly people walking a dog.
My husband doesnt want a dog but if I am left the survivor and still able to walk, I shall get a dog. The only reason I dont insist on a dog now is that I would need to leave it with OH (who hates dogs) while I am out riding. If I have to stop riding for any reason, I shall at once buy a dog.

 

[limestonelil]

Sending condolences danda, for the losses you have had recently.
So much good, practical advice already posted that I have nothing to add, except that taking the advice will enhance your life so much. And be of so much benefit to a needy pooch. Happy hunting.
And pictures too please.

 

[Xmasha]

So sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you are feeling now . But if you do want a dog , then as others have suggested on here just do it . Your age isn’t a barrier
Take care x

 

[poiuytrewq]

So so sorry, how incredibly heartbreaking not to mention a huge shock.

I agree, there are dogs out there desperate for homes like yours.
I saw one a few weeks ago advertised and the advert made me so sad I almost phoned but have the completely wrong environment.
It was an older terrier who’s owners and died and it just wanted a warm lap and love basically, very quiet loved a potter in the garden and back to the sofa.
Something like that would be really wonderful to be able to offer a home too. You have a lot of give.

 

[Clodagh]

Get another dog! I would just make sure you have support in place in case you are incapacitated but tbh at any age we all need a back up plan.
I’m so sorry you’ve lost two close together, that’s horrible.

 

[danda]

Thank you for your replies, I live in France so no Cinnamon Trust here to my knowledge. Things will be better with time and I will see how things go, so many people do not understand how devastating the death of an animal can be.

 

[irishdraft]

So sorry to hear your sad news but as others have said, if your fit & well nothing to stop you having another dog. I know some rescues are ageist but not all. South east dog rescue rehomes to older people.

 

[OlderNotWiser]

So sorry for your loss. My mother is 90, she lost her last dog at 82 and now regrets not getting another. I so wish I had tried harder to persuade her to reconsider. Don’t make your decision too soon.

 

[SAujla]

You're only as old as you feel, as mentioned above it might be exactly what you need to keep yourself active. Whoever told you that is misguided. I am sorry for the tough year you've had

 

[malwhit]

My 86 year old neighbour's dog died a week ago. Her family were considering getting her a puppy, but she is determined to get an older dog in the spring.

She has relatives who will take in the dog if anything happens to her.

If you want another dog, get one?

 

[Kunoichi73]

Really sorry to hear about your lovely dog. I agree with everyone who has said get another one if you can

 

[Blanche]

I am another who thinks you should get another dog. They give you something to get up in the morning for, make you take exercise and fresh air and are company at home. An older dog not up for a route march would be ideal. I feel a bit tetchy on your behalf about ‘don’t even think of getting another at your age’ . Actually in Mumsnet speech I feel a bit stabby. Sorry to hear about your losses.

 

[Bellasophia]

Danda ,Im in Italy ,so I would guess your canile ( rescue kennels) are also exploding at this time…
if you feel you are in good health,have the will to try again,and hopefully some back up person…you could consider a rescue.The rescue would hopefully be able to work with you and be willing to take the dog back if things go awol…

I googled adozione chien france and came up with a lot of rescues…
below is one for smaller dogs,
https://www.facebook.com/groups/125295787806456/

the pincher breed seems to come up regularly..they are long lived and often outlive their wonderful homes..so do consider them.

 

[danda]

Thank you all for your positive advice and I am definitely taking it on board, but also can see the dangers of getting a dog when elderly. I belong to an association in the north of France that is dedicated to saving and rehoming elderly dogs. They do not rehome to people of over 75. Many of these elderly dogs belonged to old people who had died or gone into care. So many of them had been promised by family members that their little dogs would be looked after once they could no longer do it but this is rarely the case, once the old person dead they can’t wait to get rid of the dog, the excuses and reasons given are extraordinary. The president of the association has multiple calls every week of relatives getting rid of the dogs, when this association takes them in they are all fostered, no kennels for little old animals so obviously there is a limit on how many can be helped in this way.
sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant over old people and their animals. Thank you again and maybe something unexpected will happen that means a dog will fall into my lap!

 

[Cortez]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about your recent sad losses. But of course you should get another dog if that's what your heart tells you to do. I bet there are many older (or indeed younger.....) dogs in rescues in France that would love to join you on your sofa.

*PS I'm getting on a bit and already have plans for my own dogs. If they go before I do, I also have plans for their successors.....

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

Thank you all for your positive advice and I am definitely taking it on board, but also can see the dangers of getting a dog when elderly. I belong to an association in the north of France that is dedicated to saving and rehoming elderly dogs. They do not rehome to people of over 75. Many of these elderly dogs belonged to old people who had died or gone into care. So many of them had been promised by family members that their little dogs would be looked after once they could no longer do it but this is rarely the case, once the old person dead they can’t wait to get rid of the dog, the excuses and reasons given are extraordinary. The president of the association has multiple calls every week of relatives getting rid of the dogs, when this association takes them in they are all fostered, no kennels for little old animals so obviously there is a limit on how many can be helped in this way.
sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant over old people and their animals. Thank you again and maybe something unexpected will happen that means a dog will fall into my lap!

Could you offer to foster one of those older dogs?

 

[Flowerofthefen]

Thank you for your replies, I live in France so no Cinnamon Trust here to my knowledge. Things will be better with time and I will see how things go, so many people do not understand how devastating the death of an animal can be.

I have a friend in France who rescues/ fosters dogs. They get all sorts in. Lots of abandoned puppies as well. Not sure exactly where she is and not sure where you are but they are always looking for homes and Foster carers x

 

[Christmascinnamoncookie]

I’m sorry you’ve lost your dog. It’s insanely hard to deal with. If you’re fit and able, get another. It’s a facile thing to say, but getting another helps enormously. Nobody should be telling you no. C’est des connards.

 

[Archangel]

maybe something unexpected will happen that means a dog will fall into my lap!

They say old age is always 15 years from now so you are good to go I think.

 

[P3LH]

Get another and have a back up plan, as others have said. Whether that’s a return to a breeder, or a friend or relative. I always think of my Grandmother who died nearly a decade ago just short of 90. She didn’t have another dog after losing one in her mod seventies as said she was getting too old. She became a hermit, lost her independence and ‘became old’ after never really being old. She said towards the end of her life she felt this was down to not having a dog and having a reason for routine and getting out - she also admitted in her case it was pride as she didn’t do small dogs (was a rough collie & GSD woman all her life) and didn’t feel she was able to have another big dog.

 

[Mynstrel]

Thank you all for your positive advice and I am definitely taking it on board, but also can see the dangers of getting a dog when elderly. I belong to an association in the north of France that is dedicated to saving and rehoming elderly dogs. They do not rehome to people of over 75. Many of these elderly dogs belonged to old people who had died or gone into care. So many of them had been promised by family members that their little dogs would be looked after once they could no longer do it but this is rarely the case, once the old person dead they can’t wait to get rid of the dog, the excuses and reasons given are extraordinary. The president of the association has multiple calls every week of relatives getting rid of the dogs, when this association takes them in they are all fostered, no kennels for little old animals so obviously there is a limit on how many can be helped in this way.
sorry this has turned into a bit of a rant over old people and their animals. Thank you again and maybe something unexpected will happen that means a dog will fall into my lap!

That's ridiculous, they're missing out on a whole generation of people who could long term foster for them with backup if something happened that meant the dog couldn't stay. They could make the lives of so many senior people and dogs so much better. I hope someone furry comes along for you soon, if you want it do it!

 

[TheresaW]

You would have been the ideal home for Ellie. We brought her home about 18 months ago when her previous owner passed away and she was in kennels. She hasn’t overly settled sharing home with our others. Such a shame you are in France.

There must be others dogs like her?