How to get confidence back after a bad fall.

H

horses for life

Member
Joined
30 April 2023
Messages
20
Visit site
I had a bad fall just under 2 years ago and lost my confidence and haven't been able to get it back. Do you have any tips for getting confidence back. I have tried just about everything to get it back and will do anything to get it back. I am really nervous about doing anything. Sometimes I don't want to ride after a horse jogs or spins around to see another horse. On multiple occasions I got off the horse mid ride due to my nervousness. Any tips on how to get my confidence back would be greatly appreciated.
 
Really sorry that the fall you have had has spoilt your enjoyment of horses. Have you heard of Karl Greenwood? He teaches confidence and offers courses at his place.
 
I had came off on a hack so suffered massive nerves. I enlisted some help, after the initial chat she had me ride and we were talking through my fears. I said something to the effect of “I’m afraid of feeling out of control” and she asked what I would do if I felt I was, I said I would get off. She then responded with “then get off, there’s no problem with that”

If you’re at your threshold, it’s never a failure to say I’ve had enough and get off. We have been conditioned through years of riding that we must never give in, never get off, never let the horse win etc etc and it’s all a load of tosh. If the horse is at its limit, get off and bring it back to earth. If a rider is at their limit, let them get off and come back to a place of calm. Then try again. And next time you might just find that the line is a little bit further away. It’s okay to let yourself be afraid and do what you feel you need to in that moment to protect yourself.

Confidence is a mind set and if you’re constantly fighting with yourself it will always fight back. So try to be kinder to yourself. Get off when you need to. Take the horse for a inhand walk, if you fancy getting on again do so. If you don’t that’s okay too.
 
This 👆🏻

If you feel you need to get off and walk then do so. Then if you can, get back on. Build it up each time. Set little goals, when my youngster (20years ago) was a drop the shoulder type, I used to take him out and if we managed the shortest route possible then brilliant. Or if we managed a walk round the first field then brilliant too. Maybe set goals that are more easier to achieve and gain confidence from there. Can you borrow a quieter horse to get confidence up?

Also, I probably shouldn’t say this but when I was younger I used to train my mind set to ‘if I fall off then at least I’ll get some time off work’ … 🤣🥹 A bit difficult now that I’m older with a house to run but the thought of being off work gave me a bit of ‘lets do it and see what happens’ motive.
 
13 years ago i would have been far less understanding. My bad!. Then I crashed . A month in Icu, C5 Damage , Paralysis . Got a lot better luckily . But lost my nerve . First time out on bob , He was so happy to have me back he gota bit exuberant and had a sort of Dolphin kind of bucking spree across the gallops . I am a Bloke we are supposed to be tough. I was in tears . Bob realised and stopped bless him . First thing is never to be ashamed of your fear of sitting on half a tonne if slightly deranged quadruped. These days (bob is now 20 and i am 69) we just mooch about .That is until bob gets an idea in his head. I find that all my old instincts kick in and we cope. But Jumping ,which I loved , that's another thing. Some of my other past horses could have got me through this but bob is a stone cold jumping machine. He has a reputation in the locality . Thats Bob, (and mothers snatch their small children away !)
Your way back will be hard , you need to set aside all your previous expectations . Grasp wht you have and enjoy .(because if you cant enjoy,Give up).Work slowly on regaining trust,. The bond we have with our horses is so precious for my part, well, it makes me better person
 
Get professional help from a sport psych and also rebuild skills with an exercise physiologist.

I’ve done this successfully twice, once in my 30’s after a significant stack cross country and more recently with a ski-ing accident.

You need to demonstrate to your mind that you have the physical fitness and skills to manage a situation that may arise. That is the physical training. Then you need your mind not to freeze the body when something does happen.

Finally you need to layer your riding skills again from the ground up. Do simple stuff first, celebrate the achievement before moving onto the next thing.

It takes time and effort to re-establish brain patterns that are not hijacked by fear.

…………….and stay away from the well meaning clowns who say things like “be strong” or “just do it”. It’s way more complex than that.
 
I don't really want to ride after a horse is jogging or spinning round either, I would be hopping off too and have done many many times. I dont think I can say anything better than what Equi or Bonnie Allie and others have already said but knowing your own boundaries, listening to yourself when you feel unsafe and doing what you need to do in that moment will build confidence too. You just have to see it as making a choice to preserve your confidence, rather than a failure. You don't have to struggle through being afraid. Really what you're practising at that point IS being afraid and what's the point in that?

One tip I do have is once you do feel safe, communicate that to yourself and the horse. Relax your jaw, drop your shoulders, put a little swing in your walk, or if you're still on the horse let your pelvis unclench and move, breathe deep. The mind controls the body but you can trick the mind with the body too. Getting a professional in is never a bad choice either, invest in yourself.
 
There’s loads of good advice already on this thread, but just wanted to say I’ve been there and tbf it’s been 8 years and I’m still not the same rider I was. I tried just plugging away at it, telling myself to stop being worried, I did Karl’s confidence day (which was very good), but the biggest change for me came when I reached out and got help from a professional confidence coach. I’ve learnt techniques I can use in the moment, I work on my mindset daily (off horse) and I set myself up for small successes which help to rebuild my belief in myself. Hypnosis has also helped me massively. I’m now loads better at dealing with worrying situations although can’t say they don’t bother me, I know I can cope with most things. And yes I still get off if it goes too far outside my comfort zone. A good support network of lovely people is also a huge help. Best of luck you can get through this x
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top