How to help a horse whose lost their best friend

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Shetlandmad445

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we lost our lovely boy to colic over the weekend, I’ve owned him 20 years and I’m absolutely heartbroken, my other horse I have had 22 years so they have been best friends from day 1. They were never apart from each other and my boy became unwell very quickly so everything happened very suddenly.

I took my other horse to see him when he had passed but it was the middle of the night and dark so he just spooked I don’t know if he realised it was his friend. He’s now just stood shouting for him and he won’t eat and has no interest in hay. He’s out with another of my horses and I’ve been giving him lots of attention and cuddles but understandbly he’s really distressed. He’s an old boy and I’m worried how the stress is going to affect him.

Is there anything I can do to help him or make this a bit more bearable for him.

Thanks
 
I am so sorry for your loss and seeing your other horse distressed. I have had this a few times over the years unfortunately. IME if it is possible and they have been allowed as much time as they like to see and touch, sniff and even paw the body the loss seems to be overcome with in a very few short days. However it obviously wasn't possible with your two and I am guessing it may take a while for him to adjust, I know this is very, very hard to watch but I think you are doing the right thing by spending time with him, providing other company and maybe even a few extra treats if he isn't wanting to eat?

I am currently dealing with similar with my oldest donkey, he is 25 and only ever had horses as company for his first few years and simply doesn't see his donkey companion (of 10 years) as sufficient since my old mare was put down fairly recently. They were very close indeed. He has taken some time to return to relative normality, for a few days we literally let him eat anything he would take regardless of lami risk etc, just to try and get his appetite up and running again. He is now much better and lives with just his donkey friend but I don't think he will ever be quite himself again sadly. He is old too, and I do worry this will shorten his lifespan but I am not sure there is always something we can do to give them the absolutely 100 per cent perfect life we want for them.

I hope your old horse will perk up soon and I really am sorry for this added stress on top of your loss.
 
Mrs. Jingle said:
I am so sorry for your loss and seeing your other horse distressed. I have had this a few times over the years unfortunately. IME if it is possible and they have been allowed as much time as they like to see and touch, sniff and even paw the body the loss seems to be overcome with in a very few short days. However it obviously wasn't possible with your two and I am guessing it may take a while for him to adjust, I know this is very, very hard to watch but I think you are doing the right thing by spending time with him, providing other company and maybe even a few extra treats if he isn't wanting to eat?

I am currently dealing with similar with my oldest donkey, he is 25 and only ever had horses as company for his first few years and simply doesn't see his donkey companion (of 10 years) as sufficient since my old mare was put down fairly recently. They were very close indeed. He has taken some time to return to relative normality, for a few days we literally let him eat anything he would take regardless of lami risk etc, just to try and get his appetite up and running again. He is now much better and lives with just his donkey friend but I don't think he will ever be quite himself again sadly. He is old too, and I do worry this will shorten his lifespan but I am not sure there is always something we can do to give them the absolutely 100 per cent perfect life we want for them.

I hope your old horse will perk up soon and I really am sorry for this added stress on top of your loss.
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I agree 100% with this: if at all possible, allow companions 24 hours access with the deceased - makes a significant difference to their acceptance.
Very sorry for you and your pony, very traumatic. At least he’s got another equine friend and an empathic owner.
 
I am so sorry. My old boy lost a few close friends over the years. In the end he was pts age 31 as an emergency, and his also 31 year old buddy wouldn’t leave him - he didn’t seem too distressed, but wouldn’t move away. He was pts the following day. It was deeply traumatic, but the right thing for those horses.😔
 
I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm afraid your horse now just has to grieve in his own way. Nothing you can do. Heart breaking to watch but nothing you do will make him any better. If he won't eat hay you could consider something like soaked hi fibre nuts just to keep getting food and liquid into him.
 
Spotherisk said:
I am so sorry. My old boy lost a few close friends over the years. In the end he was pts age 31 as an emergency, and his also 31 year old buddy wouldn’t leave him - he didn’t seem too distressed, but wouldn’t move away. He was pts the following day. It was deeply traumatic, but the right thing for those horses.😔
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I did similar, let two elderly buddies go together.
 
I am so sorry, for you and your horse. It is awful when these things happen so quickly that you can't plan things for the best.

It is probably worth speaking to your vet. He might suggest a mild sedative? You say he is an old horse so not eating/drinking and being stressed is obviously harder on him. It is good you have another companion for him and are looking out for him. Perhaps some in hand walks would distract him and encourage to pick at the tasty stuff which is starting to grow in the verges?

Would giving him some the missing companions rugs, inside out, to smell would help? I did the opposite and removed anything which smelled of our old mare when she had to go, but we were fortunate enough to be able to leave the others with her body for as long they wanted - it took them about 24hrs ish to move away and stay away. At that point I removed all trace of her, but perhaps in your situation, where everything was so rushed and stressful, having the smells around could be comforting and helpful?
 
Horses have much better eyesight than us and he would have seen him and smelt him and known he was there and he was gone.

He may have smelt the vet on him, I'm not sure and that may have been why he reacted like he did, the antiseptic smell that, in the nicest possible way, seems to permeate around them. But please know that you have already helped him so much by showing him the body of your other horse.

If you want to help him you can buy Dr Bach Star of Bethlehem. It's a herbal remedy that you can out on your horses tongue or mix in his water. Depends on whether you believe in it or not. For sale at larger chemist's, Amazon and Ebay.

I'm so very sorry for your loss x
 

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Oh what heartbreaking news I’m so sorry for you…and have absolutely no idea how to help, but will watch the thread for ideas as I’m likely to find myself in a similar scenario at some point.
 
Shetlandmad445 said:
we lost our lovely boy to colic over the weekend, I’ve owned him 20 years and I’m absolutely heartbroken, my other horse I have had 22 years so they have been best friends from day 1. They were never apart from each other and my boy became unwell very quickly so everything happened very suddenly.

I took my other horse to see him when he had passed but it was the middle of the night and dark so he just spooked I don’t know if he realised it was his friend. He’s now just stood shouting for him and he won’t eat and has no interest in hay. He’s out with another of my horses and I’ve been giving him lots of attention and cuddles but understandbly he’s really distressed. He’s an old boy and I’m worried how the stress is going to affect him.

Is there anything I can do to help him or make this a bit more bearable for him.

Thanks
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First off I'm so sorry to hear this. It's coming up for 3 years since we lost my sister's horse Sunny, and he'd been with Pidge for nearly 17 years, and they were not just pair bonded, but soul mates. We let Pidge see him, and it broke my heart twice over, once for losing Sunny, and then for seeing how Pidge was without him. It did take time, and it helped that we had Bonnie (sister's other horse) here, but for the first couple of days it was like she was invisible. You could try him on some Coligone liquid as that has worked well in settling Pidge when needed.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss. My older boy was devastated when he lost his old companion to colic suddenly. We let him see and sniff etc, but he stood at the gate and called for him for what felt like an age. It broke my heart but there was very little we could do other than keep everything as consistent as possible. He wasn’t really right for quite some time but eventually he found his groove again and is settled with his new companions, so there is hope xx
 
Firstly let me say how very sorry for your loss. Sadly it is something we all have to deal with at some point or other, and it is always heartbreaking when any remaining horse(s) are also grieving.

But what I would say is to beware of seeking to replace the lost one too readily, or making an unwise choice.

A good many years ago one of my old boy's lost his pair-bond, they were devoted to each other and we knew it would be difficult, but he really grieved badly for him. Around that time I was offered two young Arabs to turn-out with him, these two had been kept together since they were foals apparently.

Great I thought, this is a good solution to the problem, so we went ahead with the plan.

The two youngsters were obviously pair-bonded to each other, and completely ignored my poor sad old lad. He was just left on his own with these two mad-caps gavorting around him, and looked very sorrowful about it all. In retrospect it was a bad choice, and I would be way way more careful in future if this situation ever occurred again.

Sadly at the end of this month we are due to lose one of our herd of three; it isn't an urgent PTS job, but has to be done before the Spring grass comes up, this is a horse we have on loan and the owner has arranged the PTS to be done later than we would have chosen, but we are deffo going back to just the two horses. It is going to be a sad day.
 
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