How to help child move of beloved pony

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ellis9905

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So my 9 yr old is outgrowing her 11hh pony- both in size and capabilities.

However tonight I suggested that it maybe time to to look for another pony... This was met by complete meltdown from my daughter... She says she couldn't love another/ would feel disloyal riding another pony etc

I explained that this would b a second pony - were lucky enough that her first pony has a home for life... And that her first pony wouldn't feel left out when she rides the other.

So has anyone else had similar experiences? I know some children give up when they out grow there trusted friend.

We had a good long chat and my daughter says she wants to continue to progress and show/ compete more next yr but can't imagine it not being on her beloved ziggy.


We've had her pony schooled to try and 'improve' him.. My daughter has regular lessons .... But I think the bottom line is ziggy is an excellent confidence giver / lead rein/ very first ridden but just doesn't enjoy faster work :(

We've always talked about a second pony eventually but I think my daughter had convinced herself that was yrs away :(

Wine and chocolates to anyone reading
 
If you can keep the first pony its easy! We did that. We got his second pony on loan, and gradually he moved ovee. We had a blip at first as the pony was too much for him and started to scare him, so he clung to the first pony, always choosing her. We ended up sending the loan pony back, and buying a cheap ploddy cob for him. Cheap ploddy cob turned out to have a halo and be a superstar, and once my stepson realised supercob jumped higher, was faster, won more, bla bla bla, he gradually changed his affections! Pony one ended up doing so little she got lami, so, when sound again, we ended up selling her. By that point, there were half as many tears as there would have been before pony two...
 
Get on out there and try lots of different ones. I'm pretty sure your daughter will fall in love with another just as much as she loves the current one. Once the process starts she will look forward to the new one and what she can do on it! Just start showing her ones online, making enquirers......but make sure that it doesn't seem you are pushing the old pony out....more a new friend coming to join in all the fun!
 
Well I am the worst person to speak to because I still have daughter's 1st, 2nd and 3rd pony, as neither of us could never part with any of them and they are now acting as lawn ornament with occasional lead rein hack, an active games pony, and a companion pony respectively.

How old is the pony? Can you put it to her that it would be kinder to the little pony to have another one to take some of the workload now that she is getting bigger/taller?

How about joining a pony club - they are often keen to keep up with their peers and seeing other children move up a group or jump bigger sometimes makes them want to do more as well.

Also if she isn't yet too big, then I wouldn't worry if she is enjoying riding so much - better a happy riding child than an unhappy non-riding one.

I never got my daughter to give up the 11.2, we just ran the 12.2 alongside, she went back to the 11.2 whenever she needed a confidence boost, and I got a friend's daughter to ride the 12.2 occasionally to iron out a few glitches (to say he wasn't as described would be an understatement!). So there was never a day when we said you can't ride the little one, it just gradually happened that she realised he couldn't keep up with what she wanted to do.

Interestingly my daughter never loved the second pony as much as the first, and the third was a tricky little nutcase, so also had less of a bond with either of us. It wasn't until we got a fabulous 14.1 that she really moved her affections on - maybe first ponies are a bit like first boyfriends!
 
I've never had to convince a child but I've been a child who was convinced... Eventually!

Best thing is to get a new pony asap. Then your daughter can still ride beloved pony while getting used to a new one. It's like putting on a comfy pair of slippers, and you always feel comforted particularly if you felt confident on your old pony. It's also helpful if other kids who are your daughters friends are on bigger ponies as it's natural to keep up. Pony club would be ideal for this.

From my experience, don't underestimate the enjoyment of winning everything easily on your little pony. I was a gymkhana pot hunter on mine, and one of the worst things about going up a level was that I had to work harder to win anything. It was all him and hardly any me, and that became woefully apparent when I got a bigger pony.
 
The best thing to do is have ponies who continually dump your child, and their version of a good day is one where they fall off twice and only stop once at each fence... (genuine diary entry from my sister, aged 7, about a rally on her pony- one day she'll be famous and we'll crack those out!) That way, they gladly wave goodbye to the little beggar when they finally have grown enough to warrant moving on to the next size up of the same thing :D

Seriously though, my mum and YO always pulled the same speech- not fair on pony now we're too big, he wants to go and teach someone else now to teach them just like he taught you. We always were upset, but it was just part of life and we moved on pretty rapidly because we pretty much had to.
 
Perhaps telling her that the pony will be fine with just a fuss from her and would love to do less will be enough. One cautionary note a little girl I know is a borderline anorexic as she doesnt want to outgrow her pony so isnt eating. I know there is more than outgrowing the pony in this case but it is a huge disincentive for her to eat. She is a lovely little girl and a wonderful rider but has zero confidence.
Ponies are tough and as you can keep the small one I am sure unless your child gets heavy quickly the little one will be a great hack out pony and the second one a great competition pony. Just make sure the bigger one is sufficiently bigger to last a long while but not overhorsing the child that way it be a while until the child has to move on again if ever. After all most of the large breed natives are able to be ridden by a child or adult and of course my chosen breed is under 14.2 and the most versatile of the lot with a kind and usually biddable nature able to dressage, jump up to and over a meter and have lovely temperaments so can be a great best friend through from 9 to 90
 
Oooh Wine and Chocs here please ;)

I think at 9 I wouldn't be too worried about getting a 2nd pony yet, especially as your daughter is enjoying her riding. My daughter 12 and niece 14 are still on the two Sec A's and having a fab time. Loving every minute of hacking out, showing and jumping. Luckily I have another daughter 4 and another niece 6 to take their place :).
I have a Welsh Sec D 4yo that my daughter will eventually ride as her next school (upper) has an equestrian team that she wants to join. For the time being though they are just having so much fun with ponies they trust.

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Thank you for all the responses... I should of said that I'm in no hurry to move her on .. The reason this is coming to a head now is that her current pony is a stubborn naughty s*** at times!! He has no problem with putting in a good buck or strangely crabbing sideways... He just doesn't enjoy the work now being asked of him :( out hacking he's a superstar but he just genuinely dislikes schooling/ jumping. So there working wants are getting further apart.

She just came down from bed and we had another good chat... I reassured her that she will be able to continue to ride ziggy for as long as she likes as although she's tall he's built likes brick outhouse!

I've also told her that its totally her choice and in her time frame.

Thanks for all those who have replied :)
 
I am in pretty much the same situation as you. My 9 year old daughter has a fantastic little shetland which she has now very much outgrown. Shetland is now in her late teens and has no intention of picking up the pace now my daughter wants to do more! I've found a great loan home as a companion and lead rein pony for Shetland but I'm being met with resistance at the idea of her going. My daughter wasn't all that confident before she started riding Shetland and she worries that her confidence will go when faced with a new pony. We've been looking at a good few ponies but haven't found anything yet, Shetland is now due to move home in spring and I'm hoping to find her replacement before then.
So far I've tried to encourage my daughter to ride her two older sisters ponies, a section a and a haflinger, which is helping to build her confidence ( sisters aren't too keen on sharing though!). She's even had a little lead around on my tb so hopefully she will feel ok on something new.
If the worst comes to the worst my plan is to find a chunky hairy black pony which will look exactly the same as Shetland only a bit bigger, then hope she dosent notice the difference!!
 
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