How to leave a yard

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Patchfoal

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I am currently in a situation where i need to save some money and the only option is to stop riding probably until the end of this year, which i am fine with as i know i will definitely start again, just things are occurring and i need that extra money!
I really don't know how to tell the yard im at? Ive had a lot of bad luck with horses over the past year and have had a lot of help from the staff, now i feel awful to say that i am going to have to stop riding for a while. I am currently sharing one of their horses, i just think they are going to be so angry!!!! When mentioning that i may need to share for less days etc to cut costs i got a very angry response! Nothing has happened since then....Help! I am such a wimp when it comes to these things!!!
 
I think you should talk to them face to face and explain that you can't share/ride anymore I would also explain why not just I need to cut costs, I don't know your reason but as an example you need to cut expenses as you can't afford your mortgage etc. if people have a proper explanation they are far more likely to understanding.
I would also take a box of chocolates with you when you speak to them as a thank you for everything they have done.
 
Definitely face to face. You never know they may suggest free rides in return for help. I hate confrontation to but just decide what you're going to say and do it.
 
I'm in the same situation. It's a fab yard, but I just can not afford it anymore, especially with Ned's vets bills and cutting hours at work!

I really don't know how to tell them either. I've been at that yard since I was 9 and YO even gave me Ned for Xmas!! However, she left just after she gave him to me and it's just not the same yard anymore.
It's been playing on my mind for months now and has brought me to tears more than once :(

No help I'm afraid, but I really wish you the best of luck!
 
just tell them face to face, take a card/some flowers etc etc and explain you cannot share anymore as you cannot afford it, tell them how much you will miss sharing/riding there and how much it upsets you to leave.

if they are genuine people they will be nice and understanding, may offer free rides or chance to have a hack every now and again. If they are not nice/understanding then I would be happy you got out of it......
 
I generally find exiting in the traditional fashion, via the gate, has a lot to commend it. That said, my own yard I leave by ducking under the fencing next to the gate and duelling the nettles as I'm too lazy to unlock my gate twice a day...


Seriously, tell them you can't afford it. What right have they to be angry? It's not your fault you no longer have the disposable income for it - paying the bills is more important than riding (apparently :confused: ).
 
Thank you. Yes i agree face to face the thing is i spend the run up to doing it worrying myself and then when i speak i can never get everything out that i want to say.
Past yr i have had a v.bad experience of buying a horse & lost a HUGE amount of money as did not work out so i am trying to pay back (i don't earn a huge salary), as well as looking to move house atm as we have some very bad neighbours and also want to start a family next year - so will be having a bigger mtg. I feel everything has come at once and i need to get it all sorted and the only way to do so is to cut costs, not ride for a while and then get back into lessons or something.
I tried to explain myself a couple of weeks back that im in financial difficulty because...... and got a very arsey response because of all the help the YO had given me. Its not like im in debt with them or anything, and ive ridden with them for years - it just so happens that recently they have helped me out a bit when things went wrong which i am grateful for. As nothing has been said since, i need to bring it up again as im not expecting to just keep paying for my share when im trying to go. Im seriously getting nowhere.... :(
 
Generally I try to do it politely, face-to-face, with a notice period given. I'm on good terms with all but one of my previous yard owners and still count several among my friends. The sole exception was the very last place I left. I sent a text to say I was going, boxed up the horses and was gone within 24 hours. The owner was a complete pita the whole time I was there and didn't give a monkey's that I'd gone anyway (in fairness, he'd known for a while I was planning to leave). I wasn't in debt to him, I left my deposit in lieu of notice, and didn't need his attitude. So, my advice would be to try the nice approach, especially if you like these people, but don't take any nonsense and, if they kick off, make sure you don't owe them anything and just leave. There are other places out there.
 
Just be brave and face-to-face, nothing worse than receiving a text about things like this! There's nothing wrong with you leaving, you have to do what's best for you. I'm sure they would rather you leave than you just quit paying your bill? S many people are finding money tight at the moment, myself included and at the end of the day horse are a luxury. Sometimes other things have to take priority. Just be really straight and honest about it, and if you can commit to it, let them know when you'll be back. Chin up. Chances are it won't be as bad as you think! :)
 
I was in a similar situation a couple of months ago. Had been sharing one of the riding school ponies at the yard but had saved enough money to buy my own. I had to (a) tell them I wanted to stop the share and (b) that I'd be keeping it elsewhere.

Being a wimp, I originally lied on part (b) and told them I hadn't yet found a horse so hadn't thought about yards yet. Though one of the instructors picked him up from the yard he was at so had to tell them, again, lied and said it was closer (it's about the same but is quieter with much better turn out). That instructor wasn't at all bothered, and we're going to meet up for hacks still, but I'm not sure the main instructor was mega impressed. Oh well!
 
I would write a card saying how happy you have been riding their horse, and how you think they were wonderful giving you so much help. Say that you're really upset to have to come to the decision to stop riding in order to get your finances in order and that you hope they will remain friends as you have a great opinion of them.. Add a big bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine plus a decent notice period, then go and have a chat to them face to face. If they are annoyed or upset, they will still get to read the card after you've gone and they've calmed down, and they should take it in better and hopefully things will end on good terms. Thats all you can do, and ought to be a lovely end to a good yard situation with no hard feelings.
 
Thanks all, well i am going to try to talk asap. Its really annoying as i mentioned it a few weeks ago thinking June is the last month i will be paying the amount i am, and either reduce to sharing a lot less or stop riding - which was when i got the horrid reaction from YO. I really don't want the DD to go out first thing next month and take all that money as i simply cannot afford it so i want to get it sorted. I feel like i tried but the YO reaction was "if your telling me your going i will be really p****d off", thats how it was kind of left i suppose i just felt/and feel now intimidated by YO - I don't know what to do if i try to talk again and get the same reaction!!!
 
I appreciate this is really hard, but you can't let someone else dictate to you what you can do. Go with card, flowers, wine, remind them of the conversation when you gave your notice, and smile. :D and cancel the direct debit.

Your cash.

Please don't be intimated. If YM is nasty to you, keep smiling and just walk away.
 
I think the card is a great idea - but if finances are a problem then buying flowers, wine and choccies might not be possible......
 
Surely they can't kick off if you explain that you are giving up the share for financial reasons??? They don't sound like good people to deal with at all. At the end of the day, if you are polite and give them plenty of notice and they get arsey then just walk away.
 
I wouldn't say it is for financial reasons but for personal reasons. If that prompts questioning, I'd just say it is family business that I'd rather not discuss and "I am sure you understand". Your reasons are yours and no one else's. If you give reasons, you provoke discussion, even argument.

My dentist just made a complete mess of capping a tooth. My new dentist was horrified. I simply told the first dentist I was leaving (after years) and if there was anything they needed to know, or I should do, for them to get in touch. They have replied thanking me for my business -- and I suspect they can guess the reasons I'm leaving.

Another thing. Yes, if you've had a long relationship, do it face to face, but also put it in a letter to make your decision quite clear that it is final and irreversible. Obviously, that should be a pleasant letter thanking them, etc., etc, but simply stating you are leaving on such and such a date for personal reasons that are outside your control.
 
What Dry Rot said^

Yes speak to them face to face but end the conversation with "and here is my official notice" and hand them the letter. If you put things in writing there can be no argument.

If you pay monthly I would give a months notice. If the conversation you had was a bit woolly you may want to think about cancelling your direct debit and giving them a cheque with the letter dated first of July for about half the normal amount and to cover the first 2 weeks of July.
 
Not much more to add but just wanted to remind you that YOU are the customer! It is up to YOU how, where and on what you spend YOUR money and any yard that thinks otherwise is treading a rocky road business. Yes the YO may have given you a lot of time and advice but she hasn't done it for free and if she has any shred of common sense/business brain she'll say sorry to see you go, do keep in touch and if you can manage the odd hack you're more than welcome. You have absolutely no obligation to tell them why you are going and to be honest I wouldn't!
 
Best bit of advice my mum gave me was just take the emotion out of it, say what you need to say, don't get into a debate and be an adult about it. Goodluck, do it sooner than later x
 
How about sending a text first (a nice one) explaining your situation and saying you'll be up at the yard at a particular time & would really appreciate having a chat about it. At least then you won't catch them unaware and they'll have time to react then understand etc hopefully.
 
Thanks all!!! I will let you know how it goes.
Its just the feeling of letting people down almost - even though i have a damn good reason as to why im going. Theres always that emotion there of getting worried, but once ive done it i feel fine!!! Silly really as we only live once!!!! I just didn't really appreciate being spoken to like that by YO, and also the suggestions coming from YO as if i have loads of money to spare, telling me to borrow it from here there and everywhere!!! Why can't people be easy and appreciate that sometimes circumstances change and things happen for a reason. Ah dear!!!!!!! Someone give me a massive house and horses in my back garden!!! If only.....
 
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