how to say ur too big politely????

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xmariax

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i have a lady coming on tues to view my daughters pony he is 11'3 she has asked if she can ride him, she said she's not that heavy.....but hes not really a weight carrier so how do i say politely that ur too big without sounding rude...if she is too big!!! i obviously havent met the lady yet but i dont know any adults that are small enough to ride my little man

i know there is a simple answer to this but i dont want to sound rude or like im trying to hide anything....???
 
Could you say something like, you do not want him ridden by anyone over 8 stone? There's not many adults at 8 stone or under - and if they do fit the bill then I'm guessing that would be okay?
 
only prob i have is she wants to see him ridden before her daughter gets on which i totally understand but i am too big and my daughter is still on lead rein....so she want to ride eeeek! i ll have to wait and see how big she is !
 
Hmm! I can understand her point too, I always asked to see a horse ridden by the owners/sellers before my daughter or I rode.

I don't suppose you know any horsey girls nearby that would pop round to do a demo for you? perhaps for a bit of pocket money?
 
nope just adults on my yard he had a 9yr old sharer but she has recently moved onto another pony and shes no longer local....
i totally see her point aswell i wouldnt put my daughter on a pony that i hadnt seen be ridden either!
 
Do you have a contact number for her? Perhaps you could phone her and say there is a weight limit, explain your circumstances and suggest she brings someone with her if she can?

Or maybe she might be happy to see your daughter on the pony on the lead rein?

Oh, I do hope she's a short skinny rake - and then it will all be okay
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i had a sharer for my man she was 30 and about 5 stone wet thro my man is only 11.2 i thort the same wen she first phoned me good luck hope she fits the bill for him
 
I have reguarly been told I'm too big for my boy, he's a 12.2hh stocky little thing who can easily carry up to 10st. Im 5ft7 an weigh about 8 and a half st but people just look at my height, the amount of layers I wear and his height and assume I'm too big. It's not nice being told I'm too big for him but no one has tried to say it nicely to me (even though im not too big lol, just too tall) but Im sure if you just explain that the pony isnt a weight carrier and can only carry up to a certain wieght then she should understand
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11.3hh?!?!? She'd have to be a *tiny* adult however chunky he is...

Just say it straight out, ideally by phone/email before you've seen her so it doesn't sound personal and she doesn't waste a trip if you/she really can't get anyone to show the pony and she (understandably) won't put her child on without.

Another option: could the parents of the last sharer write a reference/have a chat by phone? When we were looking for another sharer for my shared horse some of the people asked to talk to me (probably thought I'd be less biased than the owner... and able to talk about her too!)
 
I'm just over 9 stone & have asked to ride all the ponies we tried for my son. One was only about 11.3hh & quite fine. I really didn't want to ride them, but as it was to be a first pony I just needed a feel for them, ie whether they were keen, lazy, had a soft or hard mouth etc.

I was probably aboard no more than 5 minutes max & only walked. I asked first over the telephone & stated my weight there & then.
 
In the showing world there are as many adults as children riding Sec A's so I wouldnt worry too much at this stage the girl that used to ride my horse was nearly 30 and no more than 7.5stone and would have looked fab on a sec a. Infact i have seen some very overweight children riding ponies of that size who sit heavy in the saddle have little balance and dont know what to do with their hands....Given the choice I know who i'd want sitting on my pony!
This lady may very well be a tiny young woman and a very good rider, it isnt like she is taking him hunting all day is it
 
I used to keep my cob on a yard where one of the fellow liveries used to exercise and school the y/o's welsh A's. She was in her mid 30's and 5.2 and weighed about 7 stone ringing wet - gerrrr!!!! You probably would be best to descretly ask her how much she weighs and explain that you have a genuine concern for the ponys welfare.
 
Well, you are stuffed now as you should really have put an uper weight limit in the advert, now, whatever you say COULD be taken as rude so I suggest you just say
"Honestly, he's too small FOR YOU!" not "YOU are too BIG for him"
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its all in the way you say it
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I totally see her point that she isn't going to put her daughter on your pony for a test ride before she sees someone on it first. She knows the pony is 11.3 so I would hope that she's a small adult and to be fair if it's for 5 minutes - walk, trot and canter before she pops her daughter I think you have to be slightly lenient esp since you are selling the pony and can't provide a ridden demo off the lead rein - if she is 5foot8 and 11 stone then fair enough say no but I'm assuming that since she's read the advert she's a dinky adult.
 
OK, fair enough she wants to see him ridden, but if she rides him he will be different as if she is of a weight he isnt used to he will react differently.

I used to ride a 13hh pony when I was 11stone. She was quieter with me (but never struggling as was a native) than with my fiend who was 7 stone.

So even if she rides, it wont give an accurate picture. But I would simply give her a quick size up and say yay or nay to her request,
 
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