How to stop incessant worrying about your horses?

gothdolly

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I have always been a worrier, but since my mare died (at the age of 31) in December, following an infection that just would not get better (she had cushings) i have got worse and worse, till I have ended up a neurotic bag of nerves about our 3 remaining horses (two of mine, one of mum's).

I feel like I would only be happy if I could stand in their field all day, watching for injuries and picking up poo as it fell. I have them on lots of supplements, and spend my leisure time reading veterinary manuals. Forget any time for riding, I am too busy scouring the field for ragwort etc...

Today I refused to go on holiday with my husband and 3 year old son because I am scared to leave my horses (what if one gets injured or ill when I away?).

It does not help that all 3 horses are "complicated", my TB x ID is lame (had the vet today) my 20 year old Appy x connemara is constantly borderline laminetic almost all the time despite his very strict regime (he also has cushings symptoms) and my mother's horse also has long term health problems.

So, my question is - does anyone else feel like this... and if you do, or have done in the past.... and how do you get some perspective back into your life? I think a large amount of it is guilt from having my mare PTS. I have just about talked myself into going on holiday again now, but I know I will be a nervous wreck, even leaving them with competant people...

thanks in advance ..
Cassandra
 

cyearsley

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MMMmmm, you have to remember at the end of the day that they have to be horses, as difficult as it is, you can't wrap them up in cotton wool and even if you could, the little so and so's would still end up injuring themselves! You can't feel guilty for having an ill or injured horse put to sleep if it's the best thing for them, as a responsible owner, it's your job, you owe them what is best for them. You need to provide for them to your utmost ability and that is all anyone can ask, you cannot nanny them 24/7. Go on the holiday, by the sounds of it you could do with a break and if you're recharged you'll probably see things in a different light. We all love our horses but you can only do your best and you need to start enjoying them. This may sound like teaching your grandmother to suck eggs or whatever the expression is but having had insurance claims of over tweelve grand in three years, feel I can comment about losing horses, injuries etc etc and the most important thing is that you have to let them be a horse and enjoy them! Good luck and have a good holiday
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Bess

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I only have one horse but he had a horrific accident in his stable just over a year ago. Somehow he had cut open the whole lh side of his face/jaw to the bone from his gullet to his jaw.

Immediate vet hospital treatment, 10 days in there, when he came home he went into a different stable. But we still don't know how he did it. He's fine now.

So my answer is please go on holiday and just relax, I can't be with my horse in his stable 24/7 or out in the field. But they are horses so just let them chill out.
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gothdolly

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Thank you for your responses. Of course you are both right.

Bess - what a terrible story. It does put things into perspective though. I always imagine they are safe in the stable but of course theres opportunity for accidents anywhere.

I promise I will go on holiday...... !
Cassandra
 

mickey

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I first got my horse at the age of 27 - I had been riding and competing all my life but could not afford my own til then.
He was therefore such a fantastic addition to my life (in fact became my life!). I was so worried and fussy about him to start with. He used to jump out of every field he was put in, had a couple of accidents. He tried to jump out of the stable once and got stuck on top of it.
His whole personality is cheeky and bright. I began worrying about things like 'Has he got enough hay overnight?' 'Is he getting enough turnout?' etc, but to the point where I could not relax. I think this was esp bad when I was not doing him myself, but had him on full livery. Now he is on full livery at a great place. He has been there 4 yrs and I don't worry about much. He is settled and so am I. I think it is healthy to think about things and worry about the odd thing. But this can spiral out of control, so you have to reality test things sometimes. It is hardly worth wasting your life away worrying about things that are trivial or unlikely to happen. You wont enjoy your lovely horses that way either. You do have to let go a bit and recognise that you have to let your horse be a horse just as letting a child be a child.
Put those manuals down and go and groom or take out one of your horses! I hope things get better.
 

Diesky

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My yard all laugh at me because I am such a worrier - I wont go onto full or part livery as it means someone else is handling my horses - my mare has always been a bit delicate and after 1 year of box rest due to a suspensory ligament she would keep still enough to heal I became a wreck.

It came to a point where all of my horses were totally one person horses - my youngster was fine for me but appalling for anyone else; I realised that I was causing them problems so I have had to stop. I still dont like other people handling my mare but the baby I get lots of people to lead (must stop calling him a baby he is 3 on Tuesday)

I do go on holiday but I leave a massive list of things to do/not to do and about 5/6 contact numbers. On my honeymoon my husband nearly drowned me because I had the baby on box rest after degloving his front leg and I was calling home 2/3 times a day (cuba time difference wasnt great) and emailing home.

I have had to get some perspective and step back a little - they are horses and i let them be that but at the same time I dont turn myself in knots about it, last time I went away as a joke they were sending me pictures of my horses with the paper so I coul dsee the date.

31 is a good age though so you should be proud that she did so well - the care you give is obviously good enough for your horses!
 
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